Thai attitudes to very poor people

[wolf81]

20 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I had similar instances in a very poor village I lived in for 2 years. Any acts of kindness or good deeds were met with confusion, suspicion or requests for more. It was explained to me that Thais do not understand empathy or charity. They view this as either you want something in return, or that you are stupid and therefore an easy mark. Last straw I helped a lady with a sick child. Drove them to hospital, bought medicine etc. She came to our house the next day peddling some wild vegetable she got from the river. Still charged my missus 10 baht. Isaan people like to use the word share but somehow in thai it must translate to a one way transaction

From my perspective (based mostly on limited observations of my GF) is that Thai people are not very charitable. When a gift is given, something is expected in return. Perhaps not now, but maybe in the future. Perhaps this has to do with the Buddhist concept of Karma? 

 

This week the grandson of our neighbours has his birthday and last Sunday our daughter had a birthday. Our neighbours are not rich, but not extremely poor either (they have at least a simple shack with a car and motorcycle). So I asked my GF if perhaps it'd be nice to give a gift for the grandson. But she told me she don't want to do that, cause our neighbours didn't give a present when our daughter had her birthday last Sunday. 

 

When dealing with Thai people and if some people provide me with help in any way, I am always adamant to pay for the service rendered, to prevent these people from expecting something from me in return in the future.

[JetSetFvr]

Sadly, you have to consider their caste system.  The lowest are the very poor and considered untouchables. It's believed by most that this is some sort of punishment for a previous life or actions they took to get in that situation ie bad karma. We think of it as being mean and cruel.  To them, it's just a life that person somehow deserves.

Edited April 5, 2019 by JetSetFvr
change

[dick dasterdly]

6 minutes ago, JetSetFvr said:

Sadly, you have to consider their caste system.  The lowest are the very poor and considered untouchables. It's believed by most that this is some sort of punishment for a previous life or actions they took to get in that situation ie bad karma. We think of it as being mean and cruel.  To them, it's just a life that person somehow deserves.

After yesterday's experience, I'm inclined to think this may possibly be true.

 

Having said this, I have seen Thais giving money to beggars (who were clearly disabled) at the market.

[jak2002003]

Maybe they just don't like that guy... not because he is poor, but for some other reason?

 

One of my neighbours is like that.  When I first moved here I felt a bit sorry for him, and he was also the most friendly and welcoming person and seemed nice.  People would tolerate him, but some were rude to him, and from my first impressions that seemed rather nasty.  At a few parties in the street he was left out, snubbed and only tolerated by some.  

 

Over the year living here his true character, and the reason no one likes him (or helps him) is because he gets very nasty and crazy when he has too much to drink, which I have been on the receiving end of his behaviour a few times now... and now I keep my distance and basically ignore the guy. 

 

If OP came to our house and saw this man being nice and chatting away to me over the wall asking for help, money, or food for his dogs and I was off hand with him, and refused to help him.. the OP would come to the conclusion that I has a bad attitude to poor Thai people and start a thread about 'English man's attitude to poor people'.. just from this one experience?

 

 

[dick dasterdly]

4 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Maybe they just don't like that guy... not because he is poor, but for some other reason?

 

One of my neighbours is like that.  When I first moved here I felt a bit sorry for him, and he was also the most friendly and welcoming person and seemed nice.  People would tolerate him, but some were rude to him, and from my first impressions that seemed rather nasty.  At a few parties in the street he was left out, snubbed and only tolerated by some.  

 

Over the year living here his true character, and the reason no one likes him (or helps him) is because he gets very nasty and crazy when he has too much to drink, which I have been on the receiving end of his behaviour a few times now... and now I keep my distance and basically ignore the guy. 

 

If OP came to our house and saw this man being nice and chatting away to me over the wall asking for help, money, or food for his dogs and I was off hand with him, and refused to help him.. the OP would come to the conclusion that I has a bad attitude to poor Thai people and start a thread about 'English man's attitude to poor people'.. just from this one experience?

 

 

I seriously doubt they had ever met him previously and, if I came to your house and saw a neighbour asking for money etc. - I certainly wouldn't think that you had a "bad attitude" as I'm not at all keen on people asking for money either.

[jak2002003]

2 minutes ago, dick dasterdly said:

I seriously doubt they had ever met him previously and, if I came to your house and saw a neighbour asking for money etc. - I certainly wouldn't think that you had a "bad attitude" as I'm not at all keen on people asking for money either.

Sorry, I thought that the guy was living near you, and the shop / other people you asked to help with the bike were neighbours or in the same village.

 

People know everything about everyone in a small village.  

[dick dasterdly]

7 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Sorry, I thought that the guy was living near you, and the shop / other people you asked to help with the bike were neighbours or in the same village.

 

People know everything about everyone in a small village.  

I've no idea where the guy lives, but do 'know' the neighbours and 'bike repair man.

 

Living in a relatively isolated area in Rawai, Phuket is admittedly not the same as living in a small village.

[billd766]

4 hours ago, justin case said:

so damn right... most I met are psychopaths, sociopath, narcissists

 

and that was just describing my in-law family, every single on of them

 

rich , arrogant, snobbish, spending money like water,  mia nois , and for all their sins, they go give a large brown envelope at the temple to buy KARMA points

 

 

You must travel in some very strange circles then.

 

I can't see any Thais in my wife's family that I could even remotely compare to your ex wife's family.

[toenail]

I hope you believe me when I say that I am not trying to stereotype.
 
I'm only talking about my experience this morning that left me dumbfounded....

Some Thais feel like someone who is handicap or poor has to do with “bad karma”. - They got what they deserved from the “last life”. If you look at most charitable organizations for the handicap or orphans, they were started by Christian or Western foundations. Many Thai Buddhists are too busy making “good merit” $$$ to the monks in their local temples than worrying about the well being of the less fortunate. Note: This is not true of all Thais.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[dick dasterdly]

8 minutes ago, Benroon said:

But you didn't say that did you - you said "it left a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to THAIS attitude - ie the entire nation - blatant stereotyping!

You misunderstand, I've nothing against Thais at all and have frequently been astounded by the way they've helped me out when I was in a 'bad' situation.

 

Which is why I was so shocked at their reaction yesterday to a very poor guy.

 

But I do agree that I was wrong to stereotype in this way, based on the reaction of a small number of Thais.

[Henryford]

Rich people everywhere sh*t on poor people.

[emptypockets]

19 hours ago, Farangwithaplan said:

In fairness, you mentioned nothing of this in the initial post. And besides, what Sheryl mentioned still stands up. I'm not sure why people think Thai people are so different to the rest of humanity. There are a few different nationalist quirks as do all nationalities, but they all live, love, laugh, cry and have a full range of emotions just like everybody else in this world. Those emotions might just be triggered by different social situation to what you were nurtured to follow.

 

I was at a funeral not too long back and as we all went up to the casket, the family and the junior monks all started throwing little packages of money. Some guy, in need of a good wash and a feed who had been lurking on the sidelines of the temple, got straight into the crowd and bagged as many of those parcels as he could. No-one blinked an eye. This poor soul wandered off with  plastic shopping bag about a 3rd full of packages filled with coins.

 

I'd say if your blanket statement of "Thais' attitude to the very poor amongst them" were true, that poor urchin would have found himself in jail beaten to 10 different shades of purple. But he wasn't. And no one seemed to mind. In fact I think it gave more than a few a smile. It briefly had me laughing until a little bit of wee nearly came out.

 

Then it just left me with a smile knowing he was going to have a decent feed - at least for that day.

 

Why not ask the people in question why they were so negative to offer assistance? It will possibly answer all your questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

See a urologist asap

[emptypockets]

19 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Just like me. Thank god Im not alone

Emulating the greedy?.....  With your waistline? Don't think emulating is the correct word! 

[dick dasterdly]

20 hours ago, Farangwithaplan said:

In fairness, you mentioned nothing of this in the initial post. And besides, what Sheryl mentioned still stands up. I'm not sure why people think Thai people are so different to the rest of humanity. There are a few different nationalist quirks as do all nationalities, but they all live, love, laugh, cry and have a full range of emotions just like everybody else in this world. Those emotions might just be triggered by different social situation to what you were nurtured to follow.

 

I was at a funeral not too long back and as we all went up to the casket, the family and the junior monks all started throwing little packages of money. Some guy, in need of a good wash and a feed who had been lurking on the sidelines of the temple, got straight into the crowd and bagged as many of those parcels as he could. No-one blinked an eye. This poor soul wandered off with  plastic shopping bag about a 3rd full of packages filled with coins.

 

I'd say if your blanket statement of "Thais' attitude to the very poor amongst them" were true, that poor urchin would have found himself in jail beaten to 10 different shades of purple. But he wasn't. And no one seemed to mind. In fact I think it gave more than a few a smile. It briefly had me laughing until a little bit of wee nearly came out.

 

Then it just left me with a smile knowing he was going to have a decent feed - at least for that day.

 

Why not ask the people in question why they were so negative to offer assistance? It will possibly answer all your questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why not ask the people in question why they were so negative to offer assistance? It will possibly answer all your questions."

 

Because that really would cause 'loss of face'?  Plus, my Thai is far from good enough to get into this type of discussion.

[1FinickyOne]

So, you could not think of some better gift for an old poor person than an old samlor that has a starter problem? Did you throw in a couple of pairs of used underwear too?

 

How can he repay such generosity? And why isn't everyone overwhelmed by your generous nature? He probably can't drive the samlor anyway... 

[donim]

34 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Another weary pathetic attempt to slur an entire nation based on a single event

Not really, just a bad choice of words and title setup from the OP.  He is not using 'expensive' wording as some here. If you had readed the thread first..

 

34 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Yesterday there were three blind musicians playing in a shopping mall near me, thais were virtually queueing up to put a few coins in their box - didn't see a single foreigner contribute.

So did you queue up in that line?

34 minutes ago, Benroon said:

What I'm trying to say to the OP is grow up !

I think he is grown up more than some roony

What you had to write is 'grow some skin' 

 

[1FinickyOne]

7 minutes ago, dick dasterdly said:

left me with a smile knowing he was going to have a decent feed

if he lives near a temple, he is never hungry.. the monks have plenty of food and share willingly. Every thai knows they don't have to go hungry. There are very nice parts to this society too... 

[dick dasterdly]

3 minutes ago, donim said:

Not really, just a bad choice of words and title setup from the OP.  He is not using 'expensive' wording as some here. If you had readed the thread first..

 

So did you queue up in that line?

I think he is grown up more than some roony

What you had to write is 'grow some skin' 

 

Yes. I was in a bad mood when I posted (not to mention more than a bit pissed as a consequence of what had happened....). ☹️

[dick dasterdly]

6 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

So, you could not think of some better gift for an old poor person than an old samlor that has a starter problem? Did you throw in a couple of pairs of used underwear too?

 

How can he repay such generosity? And why isn't everyone overwhelmed by your generous nature? He probably can't drive the samlor anyway... 

I'm willing to bet that he won't turn up at my house asking for money.  He was just genuinely excited and happy to be given a free samlor.  And I did my best to make it very clear that I had another samlor, and so didn't want the old one that needs to be started every couple of days.

 

He may well sell it for the money, but it doesn't matter.

[dick dasterdly]

11 minutes ago, donim said:

Not really, just a bad choice of words and title setup from the OP.  He is not using 'expensive' wording as some here. If you had readed the thread first..

 

So did you queue up in that line?

I think he is grown up more than some roony

What you had to write is 'grow some skin' 

 

"Grow some skin" may well be right ☹️, but I'm unlikely to do so as it's impossible to change our personalities.

[bbbbooboo]

Hmmmm....I don’t know about thais being kind but in my experience as a farang being kind it seems to be seen as a weakness

[dick dasterdly]

5 minutes ago, bbbbooboo said:

Hmmmm....I don’t know about thais being kind but in my experience as a farang being kind it seems to be seen as a weakness

As a female, I've only experienced this a couple of times.

 

I've mostly been lucky insofar as Thais have always rushed to my help when in a bad situation.  Which is why I was so shocked and depressed yesterday at their reaction to an obviously very poor, Thai guy.

[Paradise Pete]

23 hours ago, dick dasterdly said:

I hope you believe me when I say that I am not trying to stereotype.

If the people you asked were from your own country you would have thought "those people don't want to help the poor." But because they were from a different country you said Thais don't want to help the poor. 

[Vacuum]

20 hours ago, Sheryl said:

we have in our village which works very well for donation of used items is as follows 

 

We put it out on the road next to the garbage bins, say 1-2 days before scheduled garbage pick up - but not in the bins, rather near them.

Could also be called: getting rid of old junk for free.

[dick dasterdly]

13 minutes ago, Paradise Pete said:

If the people you asked were from your own country you would have thought "those people don't want to help the poor." But because they were from a different country you said Thais don't want to help the poor. 

You're possibly right.

 

It just came as a shock - as they've always been so helpful to me.

Edited April 5, 2019 by dick dasterdly

[1FinickyOne]

57 minutes ago, bbbbooboo said:

Hmmmm....I don’t know about thais being kind but in my experience as a farang being kind it seems to be seen as a weakness

Just curious - being kind to other farang or to Thai? Now that I think about it, i do much better with Thai people, not so well with farang... in the area of loans of cash, Thai pay me back and do it cheerfully, farang - I don't see them again and they usually end up angry as if their $$ problems are my fault. 

[Paradise Pete]

34 minutes ago, dick dasterdly said:

It just came as a shock - as they've always been so helpful to me.

 

For what it's worth, what I wrote is the test I use for myself, anyway, and find it helpful.

Also you did ask them to help a specific person, so there's the possibility that they know something that you don't.

[natway09]

I have found just the opposite in our village (not Issaan) where any act of genuine help 

is appreciated & never forgotten.

I am not talking about handouts but helping find a solution acceptable to all.

I am not going to elaborate any further at this time but respect my wife & I have gained 

is immense & heartwarming

[nausea]

All I can say is that no-one starves in Thailand, not even the down and out Farangs, not even the dogs. As for attitudes to poor people, I remember my SO saying to some old lady rubbish collector "Bai nai", she said "Bai ha gig". Ha! 

[dick dasterdly]

3 minutes ago, nausea said:

All I can say is that no-one starves in Thailand, not even the down and out Farangs, not even the dogs. As for attitudes to poor people, I remember my SO saying to some old lady rubbish collector "Bai nai", she said "Bai ha gig". Ha! 

Disagree entirely with most of your post having rescued a soi dog that were was very sick - it turned out to be pneumonia.

 

The 'local' Thais couldn't understand why she wasn't keen on left-over rice and curry anymore.....