Dumb Criminals

[Jamesyboi]

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up.

WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account.

SOME DAYS, IT JUST DOESN'T PAY! Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

OUCH, THAT SMARTS!! A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking place inside his pants," said police spokesman Mike Carey. Police have the man's charred trousers in custody.

[peter991]

James - there's no shortage of candidates, is there?

They are just one step away from the Darwin Awards: Honoring those who improve the species by accidentally removing themselves from it... thereby

ensuring that the next generation is one idiot smarter.

Peter

[peter991]

Dateline: Thursday Mar 22 06:33 AEDT

German burglar pays dearly for credit card trick

A hapless German thief snapped his credit card in two while prying open a lock, inadvertently leaving behind his name and account details for police.

"He tried to copy what he'd seen them do on television, but the flat-owner woke up and the criminal ran away," a police spokesman said on Wednesday. "The victim called up and read us the details off the card."

"When we got round to the burglar´s house, the other half of his credit card was sitting on his kitchen table."

The 29-year-old burgler was trying to open the door to his neighbour's flat in Moenchengladbach in western Germany, police said.

Peter