Divorce and Custody

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

Utter nonsense. There is a family court. 

Did you read my sig?

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Nevalern said:

We are married legally thats why she couldnt take her when she left as i had exercised Fathers rights and said no. She has asked for a divorce and I've said no.  Can she get a custody order without me present in court. No I dont have $$ she has done a good job to fleece  that out of me over the last 4 years with family and stuff which I now know has mostly been sold for fractions of its cost. Both lawyers I've consulted have said it could go either way and seemed to find it hard to explain to me except that I am legally the father and as no custody order is in place or divorce been lodged it is up to me if I let her see my daughter until as such time she applies for for either and I am directed to do so by the courts.

Getting better advice and thoughts from this post than from the police and lawyers.

 

How can you work 7 days a week, have no money and a visa problem? 

[FritsSikkink]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Did you read my sig?

thought he was divorced as in the title

[kwonitoy]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

May I ask was there any reason the court gave u custody? I mean any issues with your ex or is your son old enough to make a choice? I believe generally in the case of a thai family and a son, I have heard the judge will normally favour the father if he has the means to support the child. Not so sure if its a foreign father.

Dont mean to be nosey. And ur choice if you dont want to answer. Im in the same boat with a 3yo son I have basically been sole parent since 3 months after birth. I havent gone for custody as shes shown no interest in our son but that cud change



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PM me

[Nevalern]

30 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

How can you work 7 days a week, have no money and a visa problem? 

Because I have poor judge of character skills and I had a manipulative wife  at home who sucked it out of me through various ways. Visa problem was my mistake and when I found out, it was too late. I've been here 4 Years and have been good with Visas, and with the sudden change in my relationship was distracted enough to put me in the shit. And No i didnt wait 2 months after the fact to do something, I waited 2 months to put it on here. I've been trying to figure out a solution  along with my battling my ex over property and my daughter. Some of us arent as perfect as others. 

[mike787]

2 hours ago, Nevalern said:

Never was out to own anyone, all I was trying to do was be responsible for my daughter and support and provide for her mother to give her a better life and self worth. Lust  and love had nothing to do with just a big heart who was too trusting. 

If she wanted the same you would not be in this hell now.  You stated, she lied, that = no integrity.  She is not interested in the same values that you believe in.  Can you see that?

[Nevalern]

6 hours ago, Will27 said:

Deleted, to save myself a ban.

Not about you BritMan.

If its directed at me you can PM me

 

[Nevalern]

2 minutes ago, mike787 said:

If she wanted the same you would not be in this hell now.  You stated, she lied, that = no integrity.  She is not interested in the same values that you believe in.  Can you see that?

I can now...hindsight is a beautiful thing.... so is a headshot at 600 metres as dad use to say

[amykat]

Nevalern, you are not necessarily a poor judge of character so don’t beat yourself up.  If you were new here, what was there to base any judgements on?  Thais show you nothing, they put up a facade of saying yes to everything, saying “up to you”, agreement with everything, become one giant chameleon when they want to get on your good side.  Any friction accidentally happens, they lie or excuse it with “Thai Culture”.

 

They accidentally get pregnant ...many times, I don’t know about your case, maybe you would have thought twice about having a child with a woman who had abandoned many previously???  Not having a clear and true history of her past is whose fault, how can you get that information, no Thais will give it to you, you outsider.

 

When have you ever heard about a man in the West married to a woman, and then he says, oh she has kids she lied about???  Never, but it happens every day here???  Or some expats are raising/visiting so called nieces and various relatives that I am sure are their spouses actual children or grandchildren.

 

I adopted a child from a woman like that who had an expat Father she ran off with murder threats.  She was 30 when she had this first baby so not too young.  He did everything for her.  Towards the end of her 30s she had another baby with a Thai man and has left that relationship and that baby too, I don’t know what happened to it, but I have reasons to doubt his stability also.

 

Can you find an expat woman to babysit while you do your visa thing?  There might be some expat Mom groups or single parents groups or something you could get some help from?  Or a single retired woman, anything, teacher??  Don’t put it out on the group, all your problems, just say you need babysitter for emergency.  Not divorce or visa problem.  Or say wife is dead.  ????

 

[amykat]

1 minute ago, amykat said:

Nevalern, you are not necessarily a poor judge of character so don’t beat yourself up.  If you were new here, what was there to base any judgements on?  Thais show you nothing, they put up a facade of saying yes to everything, saying “up to you”, agreement with everything, become one giant chameleon when they want to get on your good side.  Any friction accidentally happens, they lie or excuse it with “Thai Culture”.

 

They accidentally get pregnant ...many times, I don’t know about your case, maybe you would have thought twice about having a child with a women who had abandoned many previously???  Not having a clear and true history of her past is whose fault, how can you get that information, no Thais will give it to you, you outsider.

 

When have you ever heard about a man in the West married to a women, and then he says, oh she has kids she lied about???  Never, but it happens every day here???  Or some expats are raising/visiting so called nieces and various relatives that I am sure are their spouses actual children or grandchildren.

 

I adopted a child from a woman like that who had an expat Father she ran off with murder threats.  She was 30 when she had this first baby so not too young.  He did everything for her.  Towards the end of her 30s she had another baby with a Thai man and has left that relationship and that baby too, I don’t know what happened to it.

 

Can you find an expat woman to babysit while you do your visa thing?  There might be some expat Mom groups or single parents groups or something you could get some help from?  Or a single retired woman, anything, teacher??  Don’t put it out on the group, all your problems, just say you need babysitter for emergency.  Not divorce or visa problem.  Or say wife is dead.  ????

 

 

[fullcave]

Another thing to consider is that in Thailand in custody dispute in most cases the daughter goes with the father and if it's a boy it goes to the mother. Not sure why but every Thai knows that including your estranged wife. Most likely this is why she has not already stollen her. 

[Aussieroaming]

23 hours ago, rhodie said:

Get the kid an Aussie passport and hop on a plane back to Australia. Hide away until you are ready to go. She is only after a pay off. Good luck mate.

The husband would need a letter from the mother consenting to the child travelling with one parent. Aussie passport would be a great step though.

[Aussieroaming]

19 hours ago, Nevalern said:

We are married legally thats why she couldnt take her when she left as i had exercised Fathers rights and said no. She has asked for a divorce and I've said no.  Can she get a custody order without me present in court. No I dont have $$ she has done a good job to fleece  that out of me over the last 4 years with family and stuff which I now know has mostly been sold for fractions of its cost. Both lawyers I've consulted have said it could go either way and seemed to find it hard to explain to me except that I am legally the father and as no custody order is in place or divorce been lodged it is up to me if I let her see my daughter until as such time she applies for for either and I am directed to do so by the courts.

Getting better advice and thoughts from this post than from the police and lawyers.

 

She wants a divorce, so you have negotiable leverage because she obviously has a reason for wanting the divorce. Eventually you have to come to a settlement with her, so do it while she is the one in need of divorce. Good luck to you and the child.

[Skallywag]

On 8/5/2019 at 4:09 AM, Nevalern said:

 I am an Australian who has a Wife( habitual liar) of 3 years 9 months. She left me and my daughter on the 7th May......... In the 4 years we were together she hasn't contributed anything financially..........She also has 2 children down south ...... I wasn't told about these until after we married.  

So you married this woman after 3 months. (4 years - 3 years 9 months)

How old is the "daughter"  must be under 3.3 years yes?  (4 years - 9 months)

If your wife is habitual liar, did you ever consider the young girl may not be your biological daughter?  After realizing she has 2 other children from other men?

 

If you are married when child is born, yes you are deemed the "father" in Thai courts.

If you are not biological father, then you may want to go a different route. 

You would need to get a DNA test, go to court, etc...

 

Always cynical when it comes to lying women am I. 

 

Just an observation 

[Kenny202]

Another thing to consider is that in Thailand in custody dispute in most cases the daughter goes with the father and if it's a boy it goes to the mother. Not sure why but every Thai knows that including your estranged wife. Most likely this is why she has not already stollen her. 

You got that the wrong way around dont you? Son goes with the father?

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[Benmart]

See legal council from an attorney licensed to practice law in Thailand. None of the "legal beagles" on TVF will show up in court to represent you. Advice is great, but worthless in court.

[sead]

On 8/6/2019 at 6:19 AM, amykat said:

That's not true.  A woman like her might try to get as much as she can, sure, but she already got most of what he has.  She probably sold the paid off bike, is driving the other one.  Living with furniture or sold it if she doesn’t need it.  Stock piled her wages she made for several months while she had affair with another guy and plotted to leave.  

 

Now the kid, she doesn’t want it, that is sure!!  But she has to pretend that she does and try to get some money in exchange.  The OP doesn’t have much living in Thailand does he? So now what?  Well keep him around and keep sucking small amounts for years, use him for emergencies, etc?  

 

I would find a way to get help from back home, don’t let her know, and buy her off, but pretend you aren’t interested ....and get the hell out of here.  No emotion, lowball her every time, talk shit, say you can just make another kid cheaper, take lessons from BritManToo, it will be a psychological game you have to win.  Don’t let her get possession in the meantime.

I couldn't agree more to this. It's a money thing.

[Quack]

If you have a problem with immigration then definitely hide until you sort it out. Once you fix the visa situation then just take your daughter and leave Thailand, seems like the safest way to me. 

[Colabamumbai]

Call Sebastian at Issan Lawyers. 

[dotpoom]

Are you divorced...or not?

[Expat Brad]

She doesn't want the child, she wants money. Very, very few Thai men will take on another man's offspring into their care...... especially a half farang child. It appears that only us, stupid farang's have a heart!!!

Make her an offer $$$

[strabel23]

You are asking questions on Thai visa that should be addressed by a Thai lawyer. Anyones opinion is just an opinion based on an assumption. Do yourself a favor and get proper legal advice from a certified lawyer

[crazykopite]

You mentioned visa is it dodgy as you say she will report you to immigration.

[4MyEgo]

On 8/5/2019 at 9:09 PM, Nevalern said:

I am an Australian who has a Wife( habitual liar) of 3 years 9 months. She left me and my daughter on the 7th May. I wouldn't let her take my daughter under  Thai Fathers rights

Listen to yourself mate, "let her take my daughter", sorry about you situation bud, been where you are coming from.

 

First thing you have to understand is that your daughter belongs to both of you, i.e. she is not yours and she is not your (habitual lying wife's).

 

You have visa issues, nice, this puts you in a bad place for starters and she can use that against you real quick, so watch out for any set ups if meeting with her in the future.

 

The daughter in my opinion is the jewel in the crown with both wanting her, the mother more so for monetary reasons, unless she is a caring Thai woman who can support her, but with two kids down south and without being able to see them from what you have told me, I would assume she is not a good mother, but who am I to judge her, don't even know the girl, and $hit happens day in day out.

 

You sound like you do not have the funds to also raise a child, let alone get a lawyer to try and sort your problems, maybe the best solution for you is to calm down and try to sit down with the habitual liar and try to reach some kind of an agreement for the kids sake, if that fails, you may need to just surrender the kid and return to Australia and move forward, not easy, but life can turn and bite you hard, but we all have to survive.

 

Apart from the above, I can't say anything more, and if I said we all make our beds that we lay in, wouldn't be too far from the truth, but may learn from the experience, e.g. careful who you let lay next to you in the future.

 

Best of luck 

Edited August 7, 2019 by 4MyEgo

[Tomahawk21]

On 8/6/2019 at 3:47 AM, sotonowl said:

Sounds like an attempt for a cash settlement, ask her how much she wants and negotiate her down.

give her the kid and have it on your toes, 6 months time she will be paying you yo take the kid. the kid is only used as a bargaining tool or and ransom money.

[Tomahawk21]

21 hours ago, Nevalern said:

Because I have poor judge of character skills and I had a manipulative wife  at home who sucked it out of me through various ways. Visa problem was my mistake and when I found out, it was too late. I've been here 4 Years and have been good with Visas, and with the sudden change in my relationship was distracted enough to put me in the shit. And No i didnt wait 2 months after the fact to do something, I waited 2 months to put it on here. I've been trying to figure out a solution  along with my battling my ex over property and my daughter. Some of us arent as perfect as others. 

sorry to say lets hope you and others learn form all this marriage and kids BS

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

if I said we all make our beds that we lay in, wouldn't be too far from the truth

I quite often lie in beds I haven't made.

[timendres]

On 8/6/2019 at 3:47 AM, sotonowl said:

Sounds like an attempt for a cash settlement, ask her how much she wants and negotiate her down.

This is a strong possibility.

 

You could also take a gamble that she can, in no way, manage as a single mother. Give her the child, then provide no assistance or support. Let her carry the burden 100%. Odds are, your kid will be back in less than a month. The problem with this approach is that it could backfire, and you could lost contact forever (she might hand your child off to the extended family back home).

[BritManToo]

42 minutes ago, timendres said:

Give her the child, then provide no assistance or support. Let her carry the burden 100%.

She'll just leave the kid with her mother in the village.

[justin case]

a lot of opinions as always

 

If you are not on overstay, your best investment is not a thai lawyer

 

but an ELITE VISA

 

buys you 5 years (or 20) of NO to minimal BULLSHIT

 

thai lawyers can promise you heaven and earth

 

I ended up with 0 of the 2 houses I helped pay for and forced shared custody even the "mother" is absent for the last couple months and was never interested in the child, but it is about face & winning, showing everybody she got everything out of the stupid farang that is also f.ed by thai laws made for thai people...

 

and now facing even more court ahead as ex does not respect divorce agreement and defies me to just sue her... If I would have broken one of things in the agreement, I would have lost shared custody, but she breaks whatever she wants and ... guess what... no problem as she is thai ...

 

If I could go back in time, I would have invested in Thai elite and not divorce and give her the finger...