10 hours ago, kenk24 said:

I see even a little assimilation is not a big priority... 

If your detective skills mimic your lovemaking prowess....well, you know the rest.

On 8/22/2019 at 2:35 PM, phetpeter said:

 

Is she always asking for a little bit of cash, and never seems to have any money in her purse, and by magic some appears when its snack time?

 Then you have a Thai wife!

This made me think of another one ....

 

You've been eating together in a restaurant and you pay with cash, and the waitress gives the change to your wife. 

 

She can obviously tell who's really in charge of finance. ????

On 8/22/2019 at 7:03 AM, nikmar said:

Excellent - but no.2 doesnt ring true. Ive known my Mother in Law for 14 years and have only ever known her as แม่. 

It's never crossed my mind to ask for her actual name. 

 

Same. I hate the bitch and see as little of her as possible. Banned from my house. Don't even know her nickname. Referred to as i-mere.

 

A resounding yes to all other questions

I find reading this stuff interesting, or at least entertaining, but non of it bears any resemblance to my relationship with my wife.  Not sure I would be married if my life resembled any of this.????

1. When you woke up this morning, did the girl sleeping next to you look familiar?

No – My wife always gets up before me.

 

2. Do you know the given name of her Mother 

No – She's been dead for the last 30 years

 

3. Check the drawers in your kitchen – does one have a plastic pot containing a million red elastic bands, a thousand 7-11 drinking straws and several unused packs of spicy sauce?

No – The elastic bands are in her make-up box. She never brings straws home from Sewen. Spicy sauce lives over at her sister's house.

 

4. Check your fridge – does it contain the remains of the last 5 meals you have eaten out, all neatly packed in foam trays and plastic bags?

No – what is cooked gets eaten. What's ever left over the dog eats.

 

5. Check your TV – has the on-screen menu mysteriously changed to Thai?

No – We have two TVs. One she watches.

 

6. Check outside your front door . Is there a delivery from Lazada or Shopee?

No – She's too frugal to buy <deleted> from them.

 

7. When you try to use your washing machine, are you intercepted by a woman with long dark hair who insists on doing your laundry as you don't do it properly?

No - Wife and sister do the laundry. This is what they do.  The girl with the long dark hair went home at 4a.m.

 

8. When did you last use your kitchen?

What's a kitchen?

 

9. You've been eating together in a restaurant and she pays with cash, and the waitress gives the change to your wife. 

  As it should be.

 

10. 19 years together, 15 married.  No, I'm not a chauvinist or mysogynist, just a realist.

 

 

2 minutes ago, ratcatcher said:

No – what is cooked gets eaten. What's ever left over the dog eats.

Even the Issan som tam? Poor sod. I've a good mind to report you to animal cruelty.

 

 

4 minutes ago, ratcatcher said:

9. You've been eating together in a restaurant and she pays with cash, and the waitress gives the change to your wife. 

  As it should be.

Absolutely. Wife's much better at managing money than me. Cash lives in her handbag.

2 minutes ago, DannyCarlton said:

Even the Issan som tam? Poor sod. I've a good mind to report you to animal cruelty.

 

 

Danny, my wife does make me som-tam occasionally, but it is so good there's never any left for the poor dog.

1 minute ago, ratcatcher said:

Danny, my wife does make me som-tam occasionally, but it is so good there's never any left for the poor dog.

You're lucky, I love som tam too but my wife makes the Issan version, tam mahoon, firey hot and causes extreme pain when eaten by anyone other than a fellow Issan girl.

Just now, DannyCarlton said:

You're lucky, I love som tam too but my wife makes the Issan version, tam mahoon, firey hot and causes extreme pain when eaten by anyone other than a fellow Issan girl.

It can also cause extreme pain when it has passed thru your colon.

3 minutes ago, ratcatcher said:

It can also cause extreme pain when it has passed thru your colon.

That was my main worry for your poor dog!

 

We call this "doing a Tony Hawkes"

 

 

1. When you woke up this morning, did the girl sleeping next to you look familiar?

Yes. 

 

2. Do you know the given name of her Mother 

Yes. 

 

3. Check the drawers in your kitchen – does one have a plastic pot containing a million red elastic bands, a thousand 7-11 drinking straws and several unused packs of spicy sauce?

A few packs of things but not much at all. 

 

4. Check your fridge – does it contain the remains of the last 5 meals you have eaten out, all neatly packed in foam trays and plastic bags?

No. 

 

5. Check your TV – has the on-screen menu mysteriously changed to Thai?

No, she's fluent in English so only ever watches English stuff on TV / Netflix. I literally cannot remember the last time she watched something in Thai. 

 

6. Check outside your front door . Is there a delivery from Lazada or Shopee?

No, but she did order clothes from somewhere recently. 

 

7. When you try to use your washing machine, are you intercepted by a woman with long dark hair who insists on doing your laundry as you don't do it properly?

I am the one who usually does the laundry ????. 

 

8. When did you last use your kitchen?

This morning for some sausage sandwiches. 

 

 

None of the kitchen-related ones apply to my wife as she rarely ventures in there except to eat!

She does intercept me on the way to the washing machine in order to wash my stuff by hand! The machine doesn't do it properly! 

Eating every 2 hours sounds familiar, but she never watches TV or does the other things most associated with Thai wives. She is completely mad, however! I sometimes wonder if I married a Thai at all!