Gay Parents?

[bkkrox]

Hi,my partner and I have a 6 1/2 year-old adopted son. We adopted him when he was only 3 weeks old...have been living in BKK all this time and still seems we are the only ones (at least I havent seen/heard of any others).Anyway ,just posting here to see if there are any others out there so we could talk about our experience.Feel free to PM me if the public forum makes you uncomfortable.

I did not start this topic to debate gay parenting....if thats what you want to do then please start a new thread..cheers!!

[ProThaiExpat]

Good for you. My Thai and I would be doing likewise if I wasn't so aged and likely dead when my child would be in high school.

My Thai fathered my grandchild for a year in Australia last year and showed a unique talent for it. We were much sought after by my daughter to "baby sit", if half day of care giving every day fits that description.

She has a Nanny now for the times we served in that capacity, as she works in a big job.

Gender has nothing to do with care giving and loving of children and it is a given that those who think two males or two females can't be good parents due to their same sex gender will go the way of the dinosaurs in a generation or so.

Granted, community attitudes can affect children adversely, but usually to those not prepared by their parents for the bigotry. Bigotry takes on many forms including ethnicity, economic strata and educational level of the parents, but there are remedies to minimize the effect of bigotry on children and certainly such adversities, like any adversity, should not be allowed to operate to prevent such parenting, and it rarely does.

[bkkrox]

Good for you. My Thai and I would be doing likewise if I wasn't so aged and likely dead when my child would be in high school.

My Thai fathered my grandchild for a year in Australia last year and showed a unique talent for it. We were much sought after by my daughter to "baby sit", if half day of care giving every day fits that description.

She has a Nanny now for the times we served in that capacity, as she works in a big job.

Gender has nothing to do with care giving and loving of children and it is a given that those who think two males or two females can't be good parents due to their same sex gender will go the way of the dinosaurs in a generation or so.

Granted, community attitudes can affect children adversely, but usually to those not prepared by their parents for the bigotry. Bigotry takes on many forms including ethnicity, economic strata and educational level of the parents, but there are remedies to minimize the effect of bigotry on children and certainly such adversities, like any adversity, should not be allowed to operate to prevent such parenting, and it rarely does.

Hi ProThaiExpat,thanks for your comments..judging by the parents at our sons' school I would say we are either the same or maybe younger than some of them!I am 36 and my TBF is 43.

I think we have been very,very lucky in terms of the way we have been treated by other parents and pre/schools here. We have had nothing but support from them and he has been and is presently in one of the top international schools in BKK (the fees hurt mind you!)

Hopefully putting this out there will encourage others who have the desire to have a family to go ahead and do it...our experience has been positive on almost every level (financial and energy being the exeptions!!!)

Take care and thanks for the reply!

[ProThaiExpat]

Not only are you to be admired for your parenting but being a younger falang with an older Thai partner is newsworthy, as it defies the usual concept of gay relationships in Thailand.

[leisurely]

Good for you. As long as the child is loved there shouldn't be any problems. I have two friends raising two children between them. Both the children are from one of the partners previous marriage. Both the kids are well balanced despite having two mummies which is something no other kids in the school have.

[leisurely]

Sorry, that was clumsily written. The two women are partners and the word despite should not have been written. Apologies. They are doing a fabulous job.

[bkkrox]

Thanks for your positive comments...Not sure how your freinds find the energy for 2 kids!!

I guess for us the biggest issue is the school thing aswell. We have explained everything to him and (so far) he thinks it is cool to have two dads. He is now almost finished with Year One and the has told all the kids in his class what his situation is...almost boasting! He is a very funny ,talkative and popular kid,a born leader is how his report cards describe him,so I think he will be able to handle himself as he grows older....kids aged 6 have yet to learn predjudice and bigotry...those are things he MAY need to deal with when he grows up,and we will do what we can to give him the tools to deal with it.

To those of you that PMed me off this board, I will get back to you just as soon as I get back to Bangkok.

[macleod101]

after you have adopted how easy is it to apply for British citzeonship for the baby?

I don't want to have legally adopted a child to find I can't bring her/him home..

any help would be greatly apprcieated>>>

[Rainmaker]

Good for you. My Thai and I would be doing likewise if I wasn't so aged and likely dead when my child would be in high school.

My Thai fathered my grandchild for a year in Australia last year and showed a unique talent for it. We were much sought after by my daughter to "baby sit", if half day of care giving every day fits that description.

She has a Nanny now for the times we served in that capacity, as she works in a big job.

Gender has nothing to do with care giving and loving of children and it is a given that those who think two males or two females can't be good parents due to their same sex gender will go the way of the dinosaurs in a generation or so.

Granted, community attitudes can affect children adversely, but usually to those not prepared by their parents for the bigotry. Bigotry takes on many forms including ethnicity, economic strata and educational level of the parents, but there are remedies to minimize the effect of bigotry on children and certainly such adversities, like any adversity, should not be allowed to operate to prevent such parenting, and it rarely does.

Hi ProThaiExpat,thanks for your comments..judging by the parents at our sons' school I would say we are either the same or maybe younger than some of them!I am 36 and my TBF is 43.

I think we have been very,very lucky in terms of the way we have been treated by other parents and pre/schools here. We have had nothing but support from them and he has been and is presently in one of the top international schools in BKK (the fees hurt mind you!)

Hopefully putting this out there will encourage others who have the desire to have a family to go ahead and do it...our experience has been positive on almost every level (financial and energy being the exeptions!!!)

Take care and thanks for the reply!

sorry to go off topic, I just wanted to ask if you mind telling me a little more about the school your child goes to , the name and cost, plus your feeling on the quality of education.

Edited April 26, 2007 by Rainmaker

[bkkrox]

As far as getting a UK passport for an adopted child in Thailand it will depend on your personal circumstances. If your partner (Thai) is the legal parent, then you would need to go to the UK and register your domestic partnership and then your can apply to legally co-parent (not sure of all the terminology..sorry) and then after a period of time the child would recieve,after unconditional leave to remain, residency,but not sure if he/she would get a passport.

If the childs' legal parent is a foreigner then the process would be done in reverse...ie the Thai partner would need to register in the foreigners country to legally co-parent the child.

We did not try to adopt our son as co-parents. My partner is the legal parent (ie his name is on the birth certificate).As far as I know it would not have been possible to adopt together as Thailand does not recognise our relationship. After one of your names is on the birth certificate it is then neccessary to have the mothers' name removed...which can only be done by a court. In Thailand the mother retains all rights until a court rules otherwise. This is a lengthy procedure but without it being done you will need the mothers' signature for everything you want to do with the child (education,travel etc)

As you can tell for all of these things to happen you will need to find a mother who for whatever reason WANTS to give her child up for adoption.

Regarding schooling, ours sons' school fees are 420 000 baht a year..I know its alot of money,especially considering it is for Year 1 and will go up each year! However the level of education is phenominal with incredible facilities and staff. The school is fast gaining the reputation as being academically number one among the internationals. If you need more information on the (very complicated and time consuming) process of adopting in Thailand or about the school and why we choose it please PM me.