13 Things You Wouldn´t Know Without Movies

[AltumAngel]

13 Things You Wouldn´t Know Without Movies

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it´s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

[PhilHarries]

No matter where you are in London you will be able to hear Big Ben chime.

The Eiffel tower is visible from every street in Paris.

No matter what evil monster is lurking, all you have to do is stick with the kid and his dog and you are safe as houses.

[peter991]

A cup of black coffee/splash of cold water in face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober in a split second

A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

After sleeping together, a couple always has the covers placed exactly in a way to reveal that they are naked, without showing any parts that might offend anybody.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

All 20-year-old women are attracted to men thrice their age.

All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

All computer hackers are either disabled or under 18 years old.

All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward.

All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

All media devices are readily available - ie If someone hands you a DAT tape with important data on it your PC will have a DAT drive.

All members of alien species wear the same outfits, including clothing, hairstyles, and jewelry. This makes them readily identifiable. Aliens who do not dress like aliens are hiding something.

All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

All mothers are under 30 unless they have teen-aged children, in which case they

are allowed to be 35.

All single women have a cat.

[peter991]

All technology is plug and play - every computer can have any piece of technology attached.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. Example: "What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon! Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...!"

As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to hel_l.

Asteroids travel through space making a noise like a powerful but subdued engine.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Bad guys will always get killed by a snake, while the hero simply reaches out and picks it up with his bare hands. (In addition, he will either break the reptile's neck or bite it's head off)

Beware of strangers bearing tools of destruction such as chainsaws, staple guns, chipper/shredders, weed poppers, combines, lawnmowers, knives, flame throwers, band saws, crossbows, napalm, grenades, high-powered rifles, gophers wielding axes, laser pistols, or Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators.

Beware of transvestite doctors that sing.

Bombs always have big, blinking, beeping timer displays. Evil geniuses who devise bombs to destroy things/people are always thoughtful enough to include a visible display (usually LED) of how much time remains before the bomb detonates, giving the hero accurate feedback on exactly how much time remains.

Car chases always including aerobatics, jumps, rollovers, crashes, smashes, bashes, skids, and explosions.

Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities.

Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

[peter991]

Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

Data searching will always involve displaying all the searched data on the screen until a match is found - this is true of text and graphics such as fingerprints.

Deleting of data always takes just a little less time than it takes the bad guys to knock down the door.

Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you are doing.

Don't look under the bed.

Don't play with ouija boards. If you do and the ouija board starts moving by itself, stop playing and leave.

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

Every time some guy walks into a bar, usually the hero, he gets into a fight. Usually right under a BUDWEISER sign. Likelihood of fight increases if country music is playing in the background.

Everyone has a well-stocked liquor cabinet. The ice never seems to melt. It's just always there.

Evil scientists always have Nazi-sounding names and outfits.

Explosions always happen in slow motion. When an explosion occurs, make certain you are running away from the point of detonation so the blast can send you flying, in slow motion, toward the camera.

Female FBI agents always wear $2000 overcoats.

Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always find a new one.

Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

[peter991]

Heating and air conditioning ducts are large enough to crawl through. They are well-lit and spotlessly clean. The grilles where they open into rooms can be removed with a gentle push.

High tech companies don't do offsite backups of the data (re: Terminator 2)

High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

High tech equipment is often driven by a computer with a DOS prompt. (re: RoboCop)

High tech graphical interfaces are often driven by hundreds of keystrokes which do not appear anywhere on the screen.

Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.

Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

If a disk has encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"

If a well known face pops up in what seems to be a minor role then they are the perpetrator.

If appliances start operating by themselves, you are in danger.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

If demons begin possessing your companions, it's a good idea to leave the area as soon, and as quickly as possible.

If entering your craft you put your hand in a kind of sticky/slimy/resinous kind of substance that was not there before, turn and run immediately.

If inanimate objects such as dolls, toys, or furniture attack you, be prudent, leave the area.

If plumbing fixtures or other structures in your home begin shaking and spewing body fluids, it's time to leave.

If priests won't or can't enter your home, start looking for a new home.

If relatives or pets come back from the dead, don't approach them and ask "What did you come back to do?"

[peter991]

If relatives or pets come back from the dead, don't approach them and ask "What did you come back to do?"

If someone is in the water and starts screaming and is pulled under, don't go after them or peek over the edge of the shore "to see what's wrong." If you are in a boat, head for shore.

If someone says "I'll be right back", they won't.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

If supernatural beings start calling your name, leave the area immediately.

If the house you're living in tells you to "GO AWAY", do so immediately.

If the villain has a female hench-person, she will be disposed of by the hero's female sidekick. This true even if the hench-person is a hardened terrorist with a black belt in judo, and the sidekick's only previous contribution to the action has been to fall over and clutch her ankle during the chase scene.

If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get the hel_l out of the area.

If you are alone in a house and something calls your name, leave the house immediately through whatever exit is in the opposite direction. If there is no exit, make one.

If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fusion, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.

If you are in the Arctic and find an alien frozen in ice, don't touch it, don't thaw it out, leave it alone. The alien should be incinerated with thermite (or preferably a thermonuclear weapon), otherwise if it thaws out, it will kill you and every living thing on earth.

If you discover the place you are visiting is known for its history of mass murders, deaths, freak accidents, or supernatural occurrences, leave.

If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a >backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it is probably deserted for a ###### good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

If you find something that appears to be alive that you cannot identify, don't pick it up or touch it with anything.

If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren't awake yet.

[Khun Yak]

Running along walls horizontically will let you evade any kind of bullet whatsoever...

[Gimbo]

Computers will emit an electronic beep with every keystroke. When data is being displayed on a computer screen it is accompanied with chirps, beeps and other electronic sounds.

If you are on the run and unarmed, never pick up the weapons of any bad guys you manage to disable.

Guns are equipped with magazines that are loaded with an infinite number of rounds.

The hero can hit anything at any distance with an assault rifle or machine gun fired from the hip on full auto.

The bad guys will never aim their weapon. If by some freak accident they hit the hero, it will only be a "flesh wound".

[PhilHarries]

If you manage to whack the bad guy and disable him don't finish the job by smashing his head in, leave him be while you and the heroine trip off so he can get up and come after you.