Does Thailand Have Honest Straight Girls?

[Yohan]

Why do you not accuse the girls, who are so stupid to run after him because he is rich?

The usual divorce standard sentence, frequently used by ladies after the man had to transfer to her 80 percent of his property....

And why did it fall on deaf ears when I mentioned a pre-nup?

The problem is, that a pre-nup is often not recognized by the court, it is rather worthless and against the law in many countries.

You should better read it up in the new marriage and divorce damage control-thread.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=11470

There are good reasons for a man not to listen to his wife, who is mentioning a pre-nup.

Johann

[elsie]

The problem is, that a pre-nup is often not recognized by the court, it is rather worthless and against the law in many countries.

You should better read it up in the new marriage and divorce damage control-thread.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=11470

There are good reasons for a man not to listen to his wife, who is mentioning a pre-nup.

Johann

The problem is resolved now that pre-nuptial agreements ARE enforcable in Thailand. Sadly, not in the UK. Do you think I'm that stupid that I didn't do a research before I brought it up with my darling? No problem if you think it's some kind of scams when a woman is talking about a pre-nup. I'm glad my darling thinks it is sensible and that he can trust me wholeheartedly that I brought it up. Believe what you want to believe. I know he believes in me and that is enough for me.

[fatter than harry]

The problem is, that a frisbee is often not recognized by the court, it is rather worthless and against the law in many countries.

You should better read it up in the new throwing and catching damage control-thread.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=11469

There are good reasons for a man not to listen to his wife, who is mentioning a frisbee knees up.

[stroll]

"Stroll, I was NOT the person, who deletes angry replies from women....

(I prefer to collect them....)

Johann"

I admit I thought about collecting some of your 'marvels', Yohan, but I am not that obsessed, and there is plenty of the same coming every day...

[andyinkat]

Hey you guys, have you noticed that you've been in-bickering so much you've frozen out the OP?

The poor fellas probably feeling so lonely and abandoned he's back stalking some poor sweetie coming out of KFC.

[sorry, I've no business here - just enjoying the thread]

[stroll]

Thank you for the reminder, Andy. I will leave it alone now.

[ThaiLover1]

Fifteen pages later:

Thanks guys and gals!

It has been fun and comments have been valuable. It showed me there are as many opinions as there are people. I appreciate it.

It seems that the majority of Thai straight girls can not be faithful (reading from both the poll results and the comments by the members). But then again; you can also say that a few Thai girls are faithful.

You have given me hope - even though the percentage of finding straight and faithful Thai girls is only about 1 in 3 (26% versus 49%).

Best of luck to everyone.

[Guest fj2003]

i'm sure there is not the final end for this topic

you came up with a nice question

i would like to as

are westerner girls honest also

and the answer will be in the same

no matter what color , religion, region, country, what else

at least it is always depending on the charakter of a girl or a man

but be sure you will be always surprise what you will find

life in the moment of now forget the question of the future and don't hang on in the past

everybody anybody everything anything can be changed when ever

so take the love you get right now as the only true love for this moment

and the rest can be an illusion but has not to be

life is live

[Crash999]

When I returned to BKK, we spent every minute of the first two days together. However, it felt something was not quite right and told her to tell me what she is hiding. After, many, many denials she finally admitted she had gone out with another American man while I was away in America, and that she had sex on two dates and then broke up with him! - I was floored.

I later found out that she also had three one-night stand, the previous year - before I met her. Is this normal for 21 year old straight Thai girl, or is this a little too "fast"?

Depends on the girl. There are just as many non-bargirl girls out there who sleep around as there are virgins who are waiting until marriage.

Forget the age difference and whatnot- the focus should be on the fact she cheated on you. She knows what's right and what's wrong and what you expected of her.

If I were you I'd string her along and look for someone else in the meantime. Wouldn't be able to trust her from what she told you, and I expect what she told you is only the surface of the issue.

[Jack Ryan]

Hello Everyone - Jack Ryan Here, This is my first post so be kind.

I was very interested in reading are there any good Thai ladies, other than Bar Girls, GoGo Girls, ect. She has never worked at a GoGo, or at a Bar.

I met this one Lady 3-yrs ago working at a massage palour. She was new and very nice to talk with. Towards the end my holiday I convinced her to spend the night with me, it was enjoyable, but average.

It is now 3yrs later and I have kept in contact with her over all this time. But now she is working a respectable job. But at this job she is able to meet farangs and does accept dates for dinner, dancing and social drinking.

Also she now has at least 3 different guys that she sees over the course of a year and we are all regulars with her. She does know how to manage her time and keep everyone seperate.

Yes I still see her and I know about most of her BF's - But do they know what I know, hard to say. we are all some what close in age 39-50yrs.

She is looking for a Husband who can support her and her way of living. (Family)

When I am with her I do take care of her and her needs. She has never asked for money upfront. Smart Lady - She does know how to play the game and keep us interested. I have never sent her money and I told her as long as she has other BF's I will not send her any money.

She has a order that she maintains if more than one BF should ever show up at the same time. She will always stay with her favorite - (Money Speaks).

You will have to excuse me if my thoughts are random - But when it comes to a nice women - it all depends on what you are looking for.

I did catch her in a lie = she told me she needed to go to BKK for family reasons - What she did not tell me is that she came back a day early to meet with another one of her BF's and spent the night with him. How did I know - I saw them both at the shopping mall and she saw me and made a quick exit. I called her on her CP and asked her what was going on. - Typical Thai logic - She did not lie to me, she just did not find it necessary to tell me the whole story.

To make a long story short, I told her as long as she keeps up her ways I will start seeing some of my old TGF's. She did not like what I said but would not let on that it would brother her. When she is at work she will call me and ask what I am doing and where I am.

I could use feedback on this, men tend to be hard headed and think with the wrong brain. I like this lady, but as we all know TIT

Thanks for reading and responding back

Jack Ryan

[stroll]

Keywords:

'Hardheaded" for you, and 'money talks' for her.

Use the head on your shoulders to think about the longterm pespectives.

[rainman]

We're on page 15 of this discussion now and all i can say is that if a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat no matter if she's thai, british or american.

[davethailand]

We're on page 15 of this discussion now and all i can say is that if a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat no matter if she's thai, british or american.

the whole thread summed up perfectly in one sentance by rainman.

time to close it now?

[ghengis]

Jack

• Farang man falls in love with beautiful Thai lady.
  
• Thai lady has other boyfriends.
  
• Farang breaks up with lady.
  
• Farang finds another Thai lady.
  

This is a very common scenario in Thai-farang relationships, especially with women who worked in bars/massage parlours. Unfortunately this relationship is doomed, so move on.

If this lady really wanted to be with you, then she would not be screwing around with numerous other men. She may be the woman of your dreams, but the dream will turn into a nightmare unless you wake up to reality.

[Insight]

We're on page 15 of this discussion now and all i can say is that if a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat no matter if she's thai, british or american.

the whole thread summed up perfectly in one sentance by rainman.

time to close it now?

Ex-flippin'-actly!

Sweeping generalisations ahoy...

[Yohan]

16 pages is a very good result. It shows, that Thaivisa-Forum is a good place for posting highly interesting topics, which are providing important informations for most visitors coming to Thailand. The never missing poll is even reflecting the opinion of the foreign reader in an easy understandable form of expression.

Where is STROLL, my troll, for comment on my final posting in this thread????

S T R O L L Y.............hoi hoi..............S T R O L L Y ?????????? hoihoi......

Where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu????????????/

Edited June 15, 2004 by Yohan

[31x]

Hello Thailover1

The big problem many people have when coming to Thailand is applying Western cognitives processes to an Eastern culture. When you do that, you will fail 99% of the time.

***This is NOT to say one is better than the other, just that they are different. Oil and water. ***

How can you expect a person to be "faithful" in the Western definition when they have a different definition of the same concept.

When you speak of "morality" and your girl doesn't have any, what you are really saying is "she doesn't have the same morals and values about life, sexuality, and relationships that I as a Westerner have, and therefore when she acts as an Easterner, I am not happy, and she is wrong."

I am in NO WAY defending her. I learned about Thai culture early on, saw it first hand, and you cannot change 21 years of of cultural programming that she has experienced. Again, not insulting her or you. The reality is what it is. No matter how wonderful you are, she is not going to drastically change. You either have to accept that other cultures have different views of morality than Westerners or get out of the game.

The example I tell my friends who constantly come to me with "Hey, I found this girl, she is different, really she is, really, really..." is that it is "like asking a 21 year old fish what it is like to live and walk on dry land for 21 years?" It just can't answer that, because it has never experienced that way of life. Same for a Thai girl, she cannot begin to understand your way of thinking, and it seems you cannot relate to her way of thinking. Again...neither is better or worse, just different.

Another example, try using football rules and referees to control a basketball game. It wouldn't work, and everyone would be scratching their heads saying "wait, we have refs here, why is this so screwy?"

If you want an Eastern girl with values more similiar to Western values, try China, Korea, or Japan. Although at 50+ years of age, Korea might not be a great option. You need to look for a culture that has a better "match" to what you are looking for, not to try and make a girl see your values and then conform to them, you are setting yourself up for failure that way. But, again, the things you mention about having in common with young girls all seem like a 21 year old guy...sex...sex...fun. What about the rest of the day? Do you have any real conversations or anything? I have seen numerous couples like this, and when they aren't having sex, they just kind of co-exist next to each other, but not really in a bonded relationship. Check out something called the "Madonna and the whore" complex. You want the pure girl when you are away, and the sexual beast when you are around. Why do you think the concept of a minor wife is so popular? You want two people in one. I have just seen so many people bang their heads on this issue and it never changes. Sorry.

A person's core personality is formed by 10 years of age. Maybe 60-80% is already cognitively programmed in. Culture is part of this process. It is already done when you meet these girls.

DISCLAIMER: There are exceptions to every rule when dealing with human behavior. So if you have or know of an exception, great for you, but your exception does not change the rule.

Thank you.

[stroll]

One of the more sensible posts in this thread, welcome.

It would be interesting to have a Thai philosopher comment on this.

[RamdomChances]

I think that if you base 31x's post in the contex of this thread, its quite offensive to thai women and thai culture in general.

I am in NO WAY defending her. I learned about Thai culture early on, saw it first hand, and you cannot change 21 years of of cultural programming that she has experienced

I dont know any thai women who pick up 50yr old falangs outside shopping centers, and then sleep with them, this is not part of the thai culture that I know.

When you speak of "morality" and your girl doesn't have any, what you are really saying is "she doesn't have the same morals and values about life, sexuality, and relationships that I as a Westerner have, and therefore when she acts as an Easterner, I am not happy, and she is wrong."

He's saying that she sleeps around, which also, in general outside of the bar scene is not a thai womens cultural sort of thing.

One of the more sensible posts in this thread, welcome.

Just cos a thread is well writen and has big words, does'nt make it more valid than the saddos that just want to slag ever thai woman off.

[Crash999]

How can you expect a person to be "faithful" in the Western definition when they have a different definition of the same concept. 

Thais do not have a different definition of the same concept. If you think so, then try cheating on a Thai girl and explaining to her that it's a cultural misunderstanding.

[baht&sold]

Ok, I generally like to read threads (sometimes) and post much less but I have to agree, here's a great thread (few narcissistic trolls... thus far:)

Perhaps take yourself back to a 'western' culture as a good starting point...

Now, you're in your teens and you've done something you know will absolutely crush your folks, who you love. What to do? You want to come 'clean' out of respect, love and a need to 'trust' their forgiveness, praying they don't promptly send you to the woodshed (so to speak) and thus regret ever confiding in them.

So, you take a calculated risk, you love them afterall, they love you, you f**d up and are needing to come 'clean'...(why bother if you didn't love them in the first place? ######, you could just sleep a'lone' with your secret afterall;)

Ans a: They reject you entirely and are horrified you broke their trust and lowered 'their' expectations of 'you'.

Possible result: You never confide in them again and seek that approval elsewhere, perhaps a much 'lowered' standard that's 'easily' found elsewhere.

Ans b: They're dissapointed but love you and forgive you. They make you feel you can confide in them anytime and further, make you feel your relationship is ultimately worthy of trying much harder on your part.

Possible result: A much improved chance to trust the love they gave you, should you falter in the future. The chances of faltering in the future are greatly lessened by your heightened respect and love for them = increased self esteem/ self expectations.

Fast forward to Thailand:

You're a westerner and you fall in love with your Thai GF and you leave smitten and as you say, a thousand one night stand's can't even fill a thimble in your soul

(serendipity is the stuff o'life imho). You want to trust, you 'love' her afterall.

Hang on, what's that she just said on your return? She's slept with another man???

HOW could she do this to ME???

Well, imho, you've got 2 options...(see above) and maybe you'll know what to do after a while...

If you do it right, even from a 'western viewpoint' as stated in my (poor?) example (and she's the real deal) she'll rise above the temptations and you my friend, may discover she will tell you more than anyone in her life and every other guy may seem lacking to her in comparison. She may still be a 'player' but if you accept that, you might still win out. At least you have a shot.

Some guys come here, diddle who and when they want (can afford) and then absolutely 'demand' a complete opposite partner...(and they can't seem to figure out who's the common denominator). Easy to point a stick, over and over, at the 'loose morals' of the Thai gals as you do it all over again and whinge away the predictable results to another predictable whinger at the pub. 'Thai women are the worst mate', 'You got that right'...'Hey did you see the '*ss on that one?' ... 'I'm off!' Two nights later (lamenting) 'She's such a whore mate, what was I thinking'...

(mate one: did you see the *its on THAT?! I'm off!' and on it goes...

'Maybe' you've got a better chance here. If you're 'real' lucky, you may even find, despite the obvious age handicap, every other guy will be wishing he were as lucky as you...

Best wishes to you both!

[ThaiLover1]

Hello Thailover1

How can you expect a person to be "faithful" in the Western definition when they have a different definition of the same concept. 

...

This is an interesting post. Perhaps we should start a new thread - East versus West? And, I thought we were done with this thread!?

Yes, I agree that West and East are different in terms of culture. However, you can NOT convince me that people from East and West do not know the same meaning of "right" versus "wrong". We all tick the same way; cry, laugh - and cheat in the same way. No people from any country will say cheating is ok. Period.

We may have different excuses for cheating, but we all know it is wrong and not the preferred way of dealing with issues of the heart.

When someone says the Asian people have a different definition of faithfulness, they are really talking about Asian people having a different level of guilt. We all know cheating is wrong, but some people think it is more wrong than others. Nobody I have met says cheating is a positive action.

Perhaps the people in Asia has been so focused on survival (read: making money to buy food and shelter) that their guilt from lying, stealing and cheating has become more dulled than in the West.

I am not saying the Western way is the only way to survive – it is not. We all live in different cultures, but being decent seems to work better in any culture – from what I have experienced.

[baht&sold]

East/West...? Whatever...!?

Wherever WE go, there WE are...baggage we brought and all.

Shake it off already. Up to uuuu...out there.

If you don't believe me, just jetison out of Thailand for better pastures in say, India, Vietnam, UK, States, Canada, Burma, Latin America...Ddddooohhh!

There YOU are, alone again, naturally...

OR, enjoy (!) and appreciate, wherever you go.

It's really just a 'simple' choice. Choose away

[rainman]

I can't believe you guys are still debating. Read this:

If a girl wants to sleep with someone else, she will. You can't change that. If she doesn't, be happy. Thai or Western, if she wants to go, let her go.

I've known average European or American women who sleep around much more than the average Thai woman. In fact, besides men i know who have issues with their ex-bargirl wifes, i only know of one Thai woman who is 37 that had an "affair" with a 20-something year old guy. Well, it was her husband's son from his first marriage when he came here to Thailand for a vacation. Long story. And no, that 20-something guy isn't me, dont even ask.

[ThaiLover1]

If a girl wants to sleep with someone else, she will. You can't change that. If she doesn't, be happy. Thai or Western, if she wants to go, let her go.

I agree one can not stop a cheater from cheating, or a girl from wanting to find another BF. This is not the issue under discussion for this thread. (see title: Does Thailand Have Honest Straight Girls?)

The real issue then becomes: Can straight Thai girls be trusted?

I think it is clear from the responses, that Thai girls can not be trusted - and some say that this is similar to any other country.

I beg to differ. Some girls in other countries may also sleep around, but they are in the minority. From the poll in this thread it seems that 2/3 of straight Thai girls sleep around (read: cheat). This is a majority.

We know that some people commit murder, hate and violence in this world. This is already a know fact of life, and maybe it will never stop - because of a few sick people. I also know that Thai bar-girls can not be trusted, as soon as they open their mouths. The question remains; what about Thai straight girls? Are they any better? It seems they are not much different - in terms of majority.

I only started this thread to find out the degree of honesty of Thai straight girls, in matters of sex. The answer is now clear.

[OxfordWill]

The girls being Thai is largely irrelevant.

You've had a case of bad luck - it happens to the best of us.

More fool you if you think all Thai girls cannot be trusted. Second to that, only a fool would consider stereotyping a whole race.

Are all american women the same? ###### no.

If you pick up girls on the street, don't expect them to be automatic wife material.

[ThaiLover1]

More fool you if you think all Thai girls cannot be trusted. Second to that, only a fool would consider stereotyping a whole race.

I agree; everyone is different. However, we are talking about Statistics; you know the subject we all hated in college:

As a whole, 2/3 of Thai straight girls are unfaithful. This is clearly NOT everyone, but a majority.

It is a bit like saying 2/3 of the days in Seattle, Oregon are rainy. This does not mean that all days in Oregon are rainy. They also have sunny days in Seattle, Oregon. However, I would prefer living in San Diego where the statistics show there are more sunny days than Seattle.

Are we clear, now?

PS I would rather pick up a girl in a Thai shopping mall in KFC any day before picking up girls (both Western or Thai) in a bar. There is no comparison in terms of attitude.

[ThaiGal]

The girls being Thai is largely irrelevant.

You've had a case of bad luck - it happens to the best of us.

More fool you if you think all Thai girls cannot be trusted. Second to that, only a fool would consider stereotyping a whole race.

Are all american women the same? ###### no.

If you pick up girls on the street, don't expect them to be automatic wife material.

I totally agree. Thailover, you can't really go by this one poll to determine that all Thai girls can not be trusted/faithful. And why would you want to give your gf a second chance if you've come to this conclusion anyway?

[ThaiLover1]

And why would you want to give your gf a second chance if you've come to this conclusion anyway?

One poll is only one test. You are right.

The poll is also not very scientific, and the wording is not accurate and clearly defined. It may lead people to respond in a certain misleading way. I also do not beleive people on this board represent an average of people of Thailand. In other words, this poll should be taken for what it is; a poll of people on this board only.

I decided to give my GF a second chance because I believe in miracles in love. Nothing more - nothing less. Call my stupid, in love, naive - or whatever. If the poll showed 99% of Thai girls are cheaters, I would still do the same - but I would be extremly careful.

I have always been the type that believes in making things go right - in business and in love, despite all odds. Sometimes I lose, but sometimes I win. This is just me.

[OxfordWill]

As a whole, 2/3 of Thai straight girls are unfaithful.  This is clearly NOT everyone, but a majority.

It is a bit like saying 2/3 of the days in Seattle, Oregon are rainy.  This does not mean that all days in Oregon are rainy.  They also have sunny days in Seattle, Oregon.  However, I would prefer living in San Diego where the statistics show there are more sunny days than Seattle.

Are we clear, now?

Not in the slightest I'm afraid, but this may be because I listened in statistics class..

It is not at all like commenting on the weather in an American state. That sort of comment is backed by vast tables of quantitative data, measurements, etc.

Your comment on 2/3rds of 'Thai straight girls' being unfaithful is based on the ramblings of a few expats, in a forum where latent misogyny is fairly rampant.

- We're about as clear as 2/3rds of the days in Seattle (apparantly)!