Do You Avoid Silom/suk When With Your Gf

[GuestHouse]

I think it is fair to say its a good idea to avoid bringing your wife/girlfriend to TV.

Introduce her as a member by all means, but don't bring her into your discussions.

There are too many members looking to sling mud at people they don't know so the inevitable result is things get personal.

Edited April 11, 2007 by GuestHouse

[duratanium]

My Thai g/f simply tells everyone I am her husband.

More on topic itself.

If we have gone into town for a drink she will not go to certain pubs because she knows Farangs who take their ''' girlfriends ''' there. She does not like to stay overnight in a hotel because we have had a beer or 3 and cannot safely drive home, as she thinks they will look upon her in a bad way. Instead, she would rather sleep in the car and wait for me if I want to go for beer (or 3).

Away on holiday it is different. She is happy to do most things.

So I put it down to the locals seeing her and she not wanting them to think badly of her.

As I do not understand enough Thai I have no idea if anything is said to her at all except that she tells me (as said above) that she tells everyone I am her husband.

[chanchao]

I read this topic in amazement.. Why do you all care so much about what people think? To the point of actually avoiding establishments / areas that you enjoy?

(For everyone's information my wife is of course a rocket surgeon who I met while we were both interns at Nasa and we are near exactly the same age, born mere minutes apart. Tattoos are all very respectable ones depicting mission emblems for projects we were a part of, and mostly in discreet locations.)

I never ever even get this crap that everyone talks about.. no looks, no remarks, no nothing. Doesn't matter if we're in my country, in Thailand up-country or in Bangkok or Pattaya. And that was before we had a baby, I think with the kid in tow it becomes even more unlikely unlikely to get a mistaken idea of the scenario. Maybe when my daughter grows up I will be able to participate in this discussion with some actual experience or anecdotes.

I think the worst that happened, ever, was my wife not being welcome in some Khao San Road bar, and that was largely due to them not noticing that we were together.

YOU ALL THINK TOO MUCH! It's not that big a deal anyway.

[meemiathai]

Any babies for rent? We want to go to silom for dinner and might need one.

[Beavis and Butthead]

Why wouldn't people think something? What, are you different than the vast majority or something? 80% of this forum is different, right? The bottom line is that the vast majority of decent Thai girls will never go out with a farang and thus won't be worrying about this. I went out with a "hiso" Thai once. I met her on the internet. She picked me up in her brand new car atr my hotel on suk soi 11. She refused to walk anywhere away from that car except to go toilet. She despised Issan girls and thought she was the cream of the crop. The bottom line is that she was just a "net whore", I believe. I think she shoots for the huge buck scams. I only went to lunch with her and that was it. she rubbed me the wrong way

[britmaveric]

No, I do not care. Furthermore I stop caring what others think years ago. I happily go to the Silom/suk areas with the gf. Besides what can I do about what anyone thinks anyways????

[Beavis and Butthead]

Maybe if you took a poll of the amount of blokes in Thailand who do infact have ex-bargirl wives then you'd understand the stereotype?

Or maybe it would prove the stereotype totally wrong! who knows.

Everyone would lie!

How many times have we heard, "she worked for the attorney generals department" or "she was a secretary" etc, when we know full well, that tattoos, short skirts and that give me a shag look, was learned somewhere else

each to their own in what some blokes would marry, but be honest about it, as your only lying to yourself.

anyway Im off to pick my wife up from the tattooist.

LOL, right on. great post

[meemiathai]

Why wouldn't people think something? What, are you different than the vast majority or something? 80% of this forum is different, right? The bottom line is that the vast majority of decent Thai girls will never go out with a farang and thus won't be worrying about this. I went out with a "hiso" Thai once. I met her on the internet. She picked me up in her brand new car atr my hotel on suk soi 11. She refused to walk anywhere away from that car except to go toilet. She despised Issan girls and thought she was the cream of the crop. The bottom line is that she was just a "net whore", I believe. I think she shoots for the huge buck scams. I only went to lunch with her and that was it. she rubbed me the wrong way

Great post too!

[duratanium]

YOU ALL THINK TOO MUCH! It's not that big a deal anyway.

Maybe some of us care what our g/f's think and if they are uncomfortable with certain places and attitudes then it is no big deal to accommodate them.

[Jimjim]

The girlfriend I had in Thailand before could care less. She was far from being a prostitute as she owned her own hair salon which I went too frequently. Nothing dodgy going on. However, we went to Lucifer club on Patpong and she loved it. It was her idea, by the way. She wasn't highly educated so maybe she didn't go through that stage of feeling better than other Thai girls because of her education. Although, she held herself in high esteem above the girls of Patpong and the like.

Edited April 11, 2007 by Jimjim

[Jamie]

Was in BKK last week and my girl friend and myself did get some looks in the hotel lobby, but it was mainly from the western women...not sure what their problem was, as the staff were very friendly and never gave us any problems. We are both similar in age though.

On the contrary, in some of the restaurants, she giggled a few times when the older, 60+ year old guy came in with the 20 year old thai girl.

[number6]

I rarely start posts, but I have a bug up my ass due to a few recent encounters and I just fee like venting/commiserating a bit.

How many board members are married/currently in, or have been in, a serious relationship with a Thai girl and experienced some level or stereotyping based on the misconception that all Thai girls with Western men are/were prostitutes?

Not to imply that my GF is more special or better than someone else's, but she is so d**n riap roy and proper that it drives me nuts when someone thinks she is a working girl – and it really, really upsets her. I now find myself avoiding some of my favorite places to eat on Suk when I am with her because of this issue.

I did stress to her early in our relationship that she would experience this, be she is having a hard time with it, and I must confess that I am as well. This is not my first GF in Thailand by a long shot, but this is the first I am very, very serious about.

Clearly, this is not an issue that can be cleared up, you can either deal with it or you can't. However, I was also wondering if I was alone in avoiding whole sections of town when with the GF, or do others do that as well?

[miniwai]

I fully understand where the O.P. is coming from and find some of comment made in reply are exactly what he is talking about... If we're stereotyping each other on this forum what chance is there out there in Bangkok. I must say the problem does appear to stem from other farang rather than the locals. Also it is very possible to have a "decent" (as one other poster put it) girlfriend/wife in Thailand who has never once had any association with the bar girl industry. if you can't find one maybe you should look at where your hanging out. Why do we think it's a big deal? because we are talking about our loved ones and how some people's comments can really hurt them. That's why I care... Saying all this it doesn't stop us going out around Silom, you just have to ignore it and enjoy your company.

[number6]

I rarely start posts, but I have a bug up my ass due to a few recent encounters and I just fee like venting/commiserating a bit.

How many board members are married/currently in, or have been in, a serious relationship with a Thai girl and experienced some level or stereotyping based on the misconception that all Thai girls with Western men are/were prostitutes?

Not to imply that my GF is more special or better than someone else's, but she is so d**n riap roy and proper that it drives me nuts when someone thinks she is a working girl – and it really, really upsets her. I now find myself avoiding some of my favorite places to eat on Suk when I am with her because of this issue.

I did stress to her early in our relationship that she would experience this, be she is having a hard time with it, and I must confess that I am as well. This is not my first GF in Thailand by a long shot, but this is the first I am very, very serious about.

Clearly, this is not an issue that can be cleared up, you can either deal with it or you can't. However, I was also wondering if I was alone in avoiding whole sections of town when with the GF, or do others do that as well?

dont worry about it - my wife does a bit - but we laugh it off - we dont deliberately avoid area but mostly dont go because their

are tons of much better thai places to go out - we do however sometimes use Bumramgrad and last time my wife could not help

but comment that since she was dressed quite well - i mean shortish dress everyone in traffic was looking at her as if she

was one of those girls selling their bodies - we had a laugh - ive evne had it when i ordered a taxi with my thai wife our young baby girl

and 1 couple of friends - we wanted to go to silom village restaurant and taxi drivers kept insisting we should go to patpong

- my friends from uk could not believe it and since they were thai taxi drivers my wife was very annoyed - shes got used to it

from silly forangs but has never up to then experienced it from thais - and we had our 1 year daughter with us - incredible

just ignore it you have ignorant xxxxxxxx everywhere and even if she was a bar girl which im not saying she was

so what - not their business - few believe my thai wife was not a bar girl but as she says she only married me for my body

and i only married her for her money

[Nebukanezar]

Yeah really who gives a F' I would have to read minds like Miss Cleo to be able to know what people thought and furthermore I don't care. We go everywhere wear anything (except sloppy, I despise dressing sloppy, no riped jeans everything is always clean and pressed) and no one has ever ever said anything. Other than the occasional Thai who thinks my fiance' (also Thai) is Arabic or Malaysian or something, she always gets mistaken for some other nationality when she is with me.

That being said we have fun with it too. We have a lil game we play on the sky train whenever we get on at On Nut and head down to Siam Paragorn or something. We try to guess who will get off at Nana by what they are wearing and who they are with. After a year I think I'm ahead with about a 80% accuracy rate:P I swear you can tell after awhile.

Edited April 11, 2007 by Nebukanezar

[asiaworld]

i think if u had to bring it up, all it says essentually is that Ur gal & U got a problem ! i've had a few girlfriends , asian & others & since i live here in Bkk we've been in Suk/Silom areas plenty of times ! No probs at all ! Well until its thai girl, who got her own mental issues .. yickes.. my bad , next time it's Me who should be more choosy who to bring alone with me , if i dont want 2 pay for sexpat label on my arse .. avoid women with 'issues' & u'll do just fine .. speaking from my own(at times not pleasant) experience

[CarlBkk]

i think if u had to bring it up, all it says essentually is that Ur gal & U got a problem ! i've had a few girlfriends , asian & others & since i live here in Bkk we've been in Suk/Silom areas plenty of times ! No probs at all ! Well until its thai girl, who got her own mental issues .. yickes.. my bad , next time it's Me who should be more choosy who to bring alone with me , if i dont want 2 pay for sexpat label on my arse .. avoid women with 'issues' & u'll do just fine .. speaking from my own(at times not pleasant) experience

[t.s]

I think we have to understand the extent to which Thais are 'image conscious', this has two sides. The viewer looking at others as being within a certain preconceived image. Then there is the sensitivity and awareness of the person being viewed.

In my single days I dated many Thai women who would make a big show about not being from the 'nightery entertainment industry'. Most simply did the dressing up bit, but I soon got to spot the signs and I'm sure others have too: Wearing the company ID card conspicuously, flaunting the brief case/lap top, including 'we work together' in conversations when being introduced to friends. A whole bunch of stuff that was trying to get the message across 'I'm a straight girl'.

That's just the way Thais are, they judge by appearance, they certainly judge by the company one keeps and as I say above its a two way thing.

As for not liking stereotyping, prejudgment and assumption, well I'm sure many of us would agree that the world would be a better place without it. But I have yet to meet anyone who does not prejudge and make assumptions on dress, behavior, way of speaking, the car we drive, house we live in or indeed the company we keep.

And I include the handsome man who was staring me right in the face while I was shaving this morning.

Your boyfriend watches you shave?

not his beard....

[sutnyod]

this sort of storeotyping makes my blood boil..

It is however, unavoidable in Thailand..

Yeah. I am one of those who succumb to such stereotyping.

You know what triggers it?

He, aged 60ish stutting about in pink shorts, under-shirt (white cotton or net), gold chain (5 Baht+++), black socks and shoes, apparently just learned how to walk upright. Girl in one hand, beer in the other. Conversation along the lines of "me Tarzan you Jane".

I am, however, optimistic that none of the TV members would trigger my thinking in such ways.

[kmart]

I don't think we fall into too many stereotypical brackets when the missus and I venture out together. But wouldn't really give a flying ###### at a rolling donut if we did....

[quiksilva]

You don't have to be with your g/f to experience the casual racism that trips, often unconciously, from westerners mouths. In the UK we dare not criticise anyone (not British) for fear of the PC police. Even the Police are relucatant to arrest an ethnic minority for fear of the race card being played. We have 15 known terrorists living in London. (This is a fact as one of my best friends is a police inspector who has to monitor one of them) who cannot be arrested. Yet mention you have met a Thai woman and want to marry them and see another side of your friends!!!

When I told my friends they did the "We are just concerned for you" before checking that she was not after A) a passport my house or C) my kidneys!!! Would they have said the same had she been Swedish?? I mentioned to a guy I know in the pub and he asked how much I had paid for her. I am not normally a violent man but.....

She will be coming back to UK with me on the 5th of May and I hope that we will not get any problems but I am not confident. I am, however, confident of our relationship.

BTW she is a 30 something marketing executive who I met at her work.

Nice friends you've got there.

I took my wife home several times before we got married and can quite honestly say, that on our first trip back there was a part of me that was a little worried about others reactions but these fleeting thoughts were quickly forgotten.

We have been back many times and we have never so much as received a funny look, not that I was looking out for them mind so perhaps we did, but really who cares?

[lazeeboy]

You don't have to be with your g/f to experience the casual racism that trips, often unconciously, from westerners mouths. In the UK we dare not criticise anyone (not British) for fear of the PC police. Even the Police are relucatant to arrest an ethnic minority for fear of the race card being played. We have 15 known terrorists living in London. (This is a fact as one of my best friends is a police inspector who has to monitor one of them) who cannot be arrested. Yet mention you have met a Thai woman and want to marry them and see another side of your friends!!!

When I told my friends they did the "We are just concerned for you" before checking that she was not after A) a passport my house or C) my kidneys!!! Would they have said the same had she been Swedish?? I mentioned to a guy I know in the pub and he asked how much I had paid for her. I am not normally a violent man but.....

She will be coming back to UK with me on the 5th of May and I hope that we will not get any problems but I am not confident. I am, however, confident of our relationship.

BTW she is a 30 something marketing executive who I met at her work.

Nice friends you've got there.

I took my wife home several times before we got married and can quite honestly say, that on our first trip back there was a part of me that was a little worried about others reactions but these fleeting thoughts were quickly forgotten.

We have been back many times and we have never so much as received a funny look, not that I was looking out for them mind so perhaps we did, but really who cares?

nobdy cares ,if anything most are envious of you ............

[alexth]

I avoid those areas most of the time, Sukhumvit from Soi 2 to Soi 24, Patpong, etc. Doesn't matter if I'm with a date or not.

[mikethevigoman]

I rarely start posts, but I have a bug up my ass due to a few recent encounters and I just fee like venting/commiserating a bit.

How many board members are married/currently in, or have been in, a serious relationship with a Thai girl and experienced some level or stereotyping based on the misconception that all Thai girls with Western men are/were prostitutes?

Not to imply that my GF is more special or better than someone else's, but she is so d**n riap roy and proper that it drives me nuts when someone thinks she is a working girl – and it really, really upsets her. I now find myself avoiding some of my favorite places to eat on Suk when I am with her because of this issue.

I did stress to her early in our relationship that she would experience this, be she is having a hard time with it, and I must confess that I am as well. This is not my first GF in Thailand by a long shot, but this is the first I am very, very serious about.

Clearly, this is not an issue that can be cleared up, you can either deal with it or you can't. However, I was also wondering if I was alone in avoiding whole sections of town when with the GF, or do others do that as well?

I liken it to ignorance as much as rudeness,.best one i had was i took my wife to visit a friend that had a very nice pub/restuarant, unknown to me his ex wife was there ( proper battleaxe ), all went well til we were having dinner and she pipes up " how much did you have to pay for her then michael ". well i did happen to know that graham gave her a milion pound petrol station in the divorce settlement, so my reply was spontaneous, i quipped " no where near as much as graham had to give to you to get rid of you " ,graham was shaking, divorced but still scared of her, not me, !

[realmadrid25]

what places are you talking about exactly? when you say silom, i guess you mean patpong? the vast majority of the girls with farang in patpong are prostitutes. how can you suspect people to not believe that your gf is not a prostitute if you bring her to bars located in red light districts. do you see any thai couples coming there on their own? dont be silly. you cant blame people for thinking this way and its much different than someone asking you this question in a shopping mall.

[Doro22]

80%. You need more training.

.

Yeah really who gives a F' I would have to read minds like Miss Cleo to be able to know what people thought and furthermore I don't care. We go everywhere wear anything (except sloppy, I despise dressing sloppy, no riped jeans everything is always clean and pressed) and no one has ever ever said anything. Other than the occasional Thai who thinks my fiance' (also Thai) is Arabic or Malaysian or something, she always gets mistaken for some other nationality when she is with me.

That being said we have fun with it too. We have a lil game we play on the sky train whenever we get on at On Nut and head down to Siam Paragorn or something. We try to guess who will get off at Nana by what they are wearing and who they are with. After a year I think I'm ahead with about a 80% accuracy rate:P I swear you can tell after awhile.

[realmadrid25]

i think if u had to bring it up, all it says essentually is that Ur gal & U got a problem ! i've had a few girlfriends , asian & others & since i live here in Bkk we've been in Suk/Silom areas plenty of times ! No probs at all ! Well until its thai girl, who got her own mental issues .. yickes.. my bad , next time it's Me who should be more choosy who to bring alone with me , if i dont want 2 pay for sexpat label on my arse .. avoid women with 'issues' & u'll do just fine .. speaking from my own(at times not pleasant) experience

sukhumwit and silom are the not the same as patpong and sukhumwit soi 2-12,1-13. these are red light districts. the only thai people in these areas are making a living, as far as i understand.

[BADBRAD]

My girlfriend and I have only a small age difference (31 and 26) and she's Filipina not Thai, but we still at times get strange looks on the street (usually from Westerners) and questions at hotels in Bangkok. Luckily, neither of us gives af ....k what anyone else thinks.

[britmaveric]

do you see any thai couples coming there on their own?

Many thai couples are abound - what planet are you on???

[realmadrid25]

do you see any thai couples coming there on their own?

Many thai couples are abound - what planet are you on???

out of curiousity can you give me specific bars/restaurants where you see thai couples in the farang red light district. thanks.