Another Farang Marriage Ends

[The Professor]

I always advise Thai women who have entered into a long term relationship, such as marriage to a Farang, to make all efforts to get something in her name, Land House etc.

This is encouraging gold digging ( if there was trust or loved involved this would not be necessary .) No wonder why there are a lot of Thai women after the farangs money and assets, because of advice like that.

They don't need Maigo's advice to do this. They do quite well on their own.

[hgma]

I met my Laotian wife 5 years ago in Laos

its the country girl "professor" story.

she never saw a train in her life

I never saw so much poverty in my life

for one reason or another............we started to fall in love with oneanother.

she doesnt speak english

I didnt speak lao

Now we are legaly married.

We recieved Gods greatest gift to menkind....our son.

Now we live together as a family should do in Thailand

we speak Thai only, my son attend a Thai school

we eat Thai-Lao food....have our moments of "misunderstanding" but 1 thing is clear...as time went by and we were willing to learn more and more of oneanother life has been good to us.

hgma

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her.

[Globeliner]

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her.

For me 7-8 years, sure you will have problems! We're happy as. But NO dealings with the family financially, and i don't pay for sick buffalo

[Loz]

Does anyone remember those old Eddie Murphy Live Videos? Raw, and Delirious. All I'm saying is, "Umfufu"...

Seemed funny at the time. Now it seems like an every day horror story all over the world.

[wolfmanjack]

Relationships are a two way street and if a relationship fails its usually because of both parties involved. Sure, both sides will always see themselves as the innocent wronged one but it is usually due to both partners (my parents were marriage counsellors for 15 years, and this conclusion is based on their experiences).

So, you get a guy who has a failed relationship at home (more often than not) and he brings all his emotional baggage with him. Gets involved with a girl whose culture and language he does not understand very well. And you wonder why so many end up with difficulties?

Going slow is a nice idea, and sometimes works, but not always. My husband and I married after knowing each other for 9 months. We celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary this year. Some people know each other for years before marriage and yet the relationship still fails.

I suspect this is because too many people expect an easy fix to relationship issues and when the easy fix isn't forthcoming walk away from what they see as an "unfixable relationship". A strong marriage or relationship is one where both parties are committed to each other enough to work their way through their difficulties. If this kind of commitment doesn't exist then it wasn't a strong relationship to begin with, in my opinion.

I think usually is the key word here. My wife is an almost totally different person now than when we got married over 8 years ago. Her wants and needs have changed. When we married she did not care that I was not rich. Now she complains about how so many others can afford this or that. According to her the tsunami,bird flu and any other bad thing that happened was my fault. By the way, her family always takes my side of any argument. Her mother and brother tell me she acts this way because I do not beat her. Such is life. All in all we have our happy times when she is being sane and not so happy when she isn't. A psychiatrist i got to know at chiang mai ram hospital told me the was an unusually high number of women in thailand that are bipolar psychotics. this seems to fit with quite a few thai women I have known. Not all.

I know another whose wife followed him around all of the time accusing him of having sex with other people. After a few years she is the one that was caught with a thai man in the bedroom. Was she accusing him to cover up her misdeeds or did she change ?

One more that set his wife up with a business. Now that she is making large amounts of money she expects him to kowtow to her.

The one thing to keep in mind is that some people change. Some for the better and some for the worse. Some people grow closer and some grow apart.

[terry57]

im sorry to hear about your friends professor,

but why do these guys rush in a marry so quickly?

i mean what is so hard about just being in a relationship and just having a bit of fun by not getting so serious about everything and having to get married 33 seconds later.

i find it a bit pathetic that a lot of these guys fall out with there farang wifes (in farang land) and the next thing you know they are madly in love with a local girl and walking down the isle.

its rubbish mate, and no wonder they come unstuck and lose all there money.

how about trying this one for a while,

get yourself a nice girlfriend, you live in your condo, she lives in her place and you just get together a few times a week and have some fun.

if after 10 years you still like each other then maybe she can sleep over once a week.

there's no fool like an old fool or a young fool as a matter of fact, and im sorry, but a lot of these guys set themselves up for a big disapointment.

a man cannot buy love but he can buy a huge amount of good times. and nothing is forever so why get hung up on the marrage senario. ?

one must never place his total happiness in the hands of another.

You never can get serious can't you Terry?For you this proberly works out but for different people not.Not that I disagree with you,just have the fun of your life,personally I think it differently,but we all have our pasts and thats why we all have a different attitude,just to fulfill our needs.

thats not true mr bijn,

as i do get serious sometimes, but im running out of warnings and decided to stay on the fun side of life.

but seriously mate, marrage is not the be all to end all of ones life and many times it leads to heartache,

serious pain, emotionally and financially.

farang come to thailand as there looking for a different way of life, trying to free themselves from the restraints that life presents in the west, also many escaping from <deleted> marrages in there home country.

one must be happy within himself before he can possibly think he can pull of a huge commitment like marrage and all the stresses that go with it.

some of us dont feel the urge to have to have that piece of paper that says till death do us part.

if we are lucky we live a long life and i think that its unrealistic to expect 2 people to love each other for ever, as the reality of live tends to take over.

but when i make that statement, i do know some people that have very long term relationships and truly love each other .

these are the lucky few and i salute them but the ones that just hang in there are waisting there lives, as to be able to live freely is a totally liberating thing.

thats what i mean when i say, have nice friends is much more important to me.

you will notice that when people marry its all lovey dovey, but when its over they hate each other so the marrage gig aint important to me.

thank you very much.

every one to there own gig i say, but how about just having some fun and getting a nice girlfriend without having to own her.

oh yes and one other thing,

us mortals dont live forever and if your lucky you will die before your wife and if not, you will be alone at the end anyway, so dont get hung up on that one. ( i dont want to be alone.)

[terry57]

I met my Laotian wife 5 years ago in Laos

its the country girl "professor" story.

she never saw a train in her life

I never saw so much poverty in my life

for one reason or another............we started to fall in love with oneanother.

she doesnt speak english

I didnt speak lao

Now we are legaly married.

We recieved Gods greatest gift to menkind....our son.

Now we live together as a family should do in Thailand

we speak Thai only, my son attend a Thai school

we eat Thai-Lao food....have our moments of "misunderstanding" but 1 thing is clear...as time went by and we were willing to learn more and more of oneanother life has been good to us.

hgma

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her.

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

but i hope you continue to be happy as thats all thats important.

[solo siam]

Buying someone a 4 million baht house in cash after knowing them less than a year isn't particularly smart, perhaps this is part of the problem that the OP worries about. If someone wants to flash their cash around in the early stages of a relationship then they are setting the groundwork for the other party to expect a lot, which is fine if the guy has a lot of money and doesn't mind spending it. Also flashy spenders tend to attract those that are drawn to money, so the attraction lies with the money and not with the guy.

I know plenty of successful relationships here, including my own, that are happy. Most of them didn't rush into marriage, or buy houses but took their time to develop a normal relationship. There's plenty of warning signs to look for, including requests for money, gifts, loans, gold etc... some simply don't want to see them though.

[terry57]

Relationships are a two way street and if a relationship fails its usually because of both parties involved. Sure, both sides will always see themselves as the innocent wronged one but it is usually due to both partners (my parents were marriage counsellors for 15 years, and this conclusion is based on their experiences).

So, you get a guy who has a failed relationship at home (more often than not) and he brings all his emotional baggage with him. Gets involved with a girl whose culture and language he does not understand very well. And you wonder why so many end up with difficulties?

Going slow is a nice idea, and sometimes works, but not always. My husband and I married after knowing each other for 9 months. We celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary this year. Some people know each other for years before marriage and yet the relationship still fails.

I suspect this is because too many people expect an easy fix to relationship issues and when the easy fix isn't forthcoming walk away from what they see as an "unfixable relationship". A strong marriage or relationship is one where both parties are committed to each other enough to work their way through their difficulties. If this kind of commitment doesn't exist then it wasn't a strong relationship to begin with, in my opinion.

I think usually is the key word here. My wife is an almost totally different person now than when we got married over 8 years ago. Her wants and needs have changed. When we married she did not care that I was not rich. Now she complains about how so many others can afford this or that. According to her the tsunami,bird flu and any other bad thing that happened was my fault. By the way, her family always takes my side of any argument. Her mother and brother tell me she acts this way because I do not beat her. Such is life. All in all we have our happy times when she is being sane and not so happy when she isn't. A psychiatrist i got to know at chiang mai ram hospital told me the was an unusually high number of women in thailand that are bipolar psychotics. this seems to fit with quite a few thai women I have known. Not all.

I know another whose wife followed him around all of the time accusing him of having sex with other people. After a few years she is the one that was caught with a thai man in the bedroom. Was she accusing him to cover up her misdeeds or did she change ?

One more that set his wife up with a business. Now that she is making large amounts of money she expects him to kowtow to her.

The one thing to keep in mind is that some people change. Some for the better and some for the worse. Some people grow closer and some grow apart.

the last line of your post is so true and people do certainly change as they gain more experience in life due to the aging process.

thats why marrage is not so important, as people should be free to experience there live's at different levels at different times if they wish.

you will often find that when one partner has a serious crisis in there life, like cancer or the loss of a child that they often decide to walk out of a marrage and start to live life for themseves.

its a common occurrence actually to stay in a marrage of convienience and then confronted with a life changing situation decide you dont need that crutch anymore.

but when i raise these senarious if one has a truly loving marrage and family, it is the way to true happiness.

unfortunatly very few have it.

thank you very much.

[ray23]

Interesting in my mind Thai women are really not that much different then other women around the world. I get the biggest kick about houses here I have lost three due to marriage breakups and not one of them was in Thailand.

Truth is marriage is difficult. I jhave a good marriage now, beacuse we are friends first and for most. Enjoy simialr activities adn pretty much hang p out all the time. I get teased by other farrangs about her wearing the pants. In all honesty I prefer my time with her.

Maybe language has something to do wih guys getting married so quickly here. It's a very long road to communication and a frustrating one at that if you don't speak a common language. So when that one comes along that you can speak at soem level she becomes very special very soon. Truth is it takes a lot to know if there is enough there to form a long term bond with. The othre truth i really don;t know hat a person is really like until you live with them.

The wife and I have been together for four years married for 2 & 1/2 marriage was my idea, she really didn't see any need in it. Well in my case there are long term benefits available to her in the event of my death. I wanted to her to have that.

The other reality is people do change with time and that does not always mean a benefit to a marrriage.

I think we have very unrealsitic view of being married to a Thai woman.

I also think Thai women have a very unrealistic view of being married to a farrang.

So many expectations on both sides that are bound to dim as the smoke and mirror disappear. The same thing that happens to marriages everywhere.

The only thing I have a hard time grasping are those women that seem to think they are set for life in marrying a farrang. Even if the marriage fails. We don't have chidren if we did and oemthing would happen to the marriage. I would make sure they we supported until they finished school and could earn thier own livings.

As to the wife she can have everything here. But that is where it stops anything beyond that means to me that she needs to go back to work just like everyone else.

Eveythign of an consequence ha come from the time e have been married she helped build it. Her chances of doing that wihtout me in the picture is very slim. She put in the work just like I did and deserves the reward for her effort.

As to my retirment she was not there for that to be earned paid none of the prices for it and derserves nothing from it. I would definetly vote with my passport before I would realase one baht from that.

You with that I can rebuild my life again if I need to.

She has a lot so lose if we break up and so do I, if I lost her I would be losing my best friend. I think tht makes both of think twice before calling the lawyers a good thing. Cause we also fight like cats and dogs at times. Something very normal in relationships this close. LOL She has her day and I have mine.

So my marriage to a Thai lady is really no different then the other marriages I have been in the past.

[backflip]

"According to her the tsunami,bird flu and any other bad thing that happened was my fault."

So, you're the one! For the longest time, my phone number was 1-800-BLAME-ME.

[mikethevigoman]

I can post equally disturbing experiences involving falang/falang marriages, at a 60% failure rate here in Oz, it isnt a brainer.

I got to know a lady at the embasy quite well and asked her one day ( off the record ) what was the percentage of failed marriages to brits,. i was gobsmacked, 90 per cent,. thank God im in the 10 per cent,.i have a beautiful wife of 5 years and a gorgous 4 year old daughter ,.its not al doom and gloom with thais but as with any race of woman its selection,,Get a good one and there is none better,..

[sunshine13]

so 90% of the dudes marriages failed even though she was gonna love him long time? long time = long enough to hire a lawyer and get his house. got hand it to them if thats the case.

[mikethevigoman]

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her.

Hey pumpoi you big softy, thats lovely, well done, a man that can express his feelings,. i am impressed !

[mikethevigoman]

Perhaps the title should be;

Astute Thai woman outsmarts stupid Farang guy, again.

With a sub-header;

There's one born every day.

Like lloyd grossman says in "through the keyhole ' the clues are there !

[CHdiver]

Why buy when you can rent? When learn man to say no to girls who want to marry? But yes, homones are just to strong. But what do I tell you. Did it myself (not with a Thai Woman) and failed.

[fanta rood]

I've already lost a couple of houses, 8 cars and 100 million baht this way.

Now I live happily with my new wife I just met and married 20 min ago.

[mikethevigoman]

I've already lost a couple of houses, 8 cars and 100 million baht this way.

Now I live happily with my new wife I just met and married 20 min ago.

atta boy !

[jetjock]

Why buy when you can rent? When learn man to say no to girls who want to marry? But yes, homones are just to strong. But what do I tell you. Did it myself (not with a Thai Woman) and failed.

I could not have said it better myself ? If it flys, floats or f*cks--Rent don't buy!

ps..just joking (in case my wife reads this)

[britmaveric]

two sides to every story, remember you are just hearing your mates' side, perhaps they aren't as good as you think they are.

[slackula]

If you are married to thai gal, and a divorce arises, how is it handled? is everything split 50%? Is only your post marriage wealth split?

Assume you dont have a house in her name - OBVIOUSLY.

Why don't you try Googling for an answer?

[slackula]

Guys get taken to the cleaners by women around the world daily in divorce cases.

What makes Thailand any different in this regard apart from the fact that in the Western world the law assists the wife in doing it and here she has to work out how to do it on her own, if so inclined?

[Lucifer]

from what i have witnessed, the marriages that seem to break up are the ones where people have got married too quickly. I mean be honest who gets married back in farangland after knowing someone only a few weeks or months but it is all too common here. And another problem is a lot of people get married without making an effort to understand the cultural differences, always a recipe for disaster.

Anyway i knew my wife for over 3 years before we got married, and been married over 4 years now.

BB

They don't hear the words 'handsome man' and 'love you long time' in farangland....and so they get married.

This is natural selection. If you're too stupid, you shouldn't have money.

Some of these blokes are half way to becoming candidates for the 'Darwin awards'.

[terry57]

I've already lost a couple of houses, 8 cars and 100 million baht this way.

Now I live happily with my new wife I just met and married 20 min ago.

with the amount of money these cats have lost to there women, a dude could rent 10 harems for the term of ones natural life.

now there's a top <deleted> idea punters.

p/m me for further top idea's.

cheap rates available today, as i can see a few of you need a helping hand.

[terry57]

two sides to every story, remember you are just hearing your mates' side, perhaps they aren't as good as you think they are.

oh my god brits,

dont suggest that, as it could not be true could it.

especially when the punters from old blighty wear there long socks and sandles.

that would make a thai girl break the 4 minute mile in 35.2 seconds. :D

[Sakeopete]

"The secret to a good marriage"

Stay in debt even if you don't have too be, that way she will not leave you or poison you until it is paid off! Keep doing that until she is too old to find someone else.

[Loz]

Nope, Just seen another sucker have "her" walk out on the house (mortgaged in her name He puts money in her account to pay but she didn't make the last three payments!), THe Car, Borrowed money again, but in here name, HE paid. The Motorbike ( that he crashed during the "leaving process") and more surprisingly the baby boy! She threw him and his mum who was staying with him out of the house even though she had apparently no means to pay for it alone...

Seems there is no logic to the failed relationships but I am more and more coming round to the idea that it ain't "JUST" the dollars. Lets face it, there are some people it would just be unbarable to be stuck with...

Edited April 15, 2007 by Loz

[mikethevigoman]

Guys get taken to the cleaners by women around the world daily in divorce cases.

What makes Thailand any different in this regard apart from the fact that in the Western world the law assists the wife in doing it and here she has to work out how to do it on her own, if so inclined?

This is a true story, i took my thai wife to england to visit a good friend and his new wife ,. unknown to me his ex wife ( a real battleaxe ) was there also,( to see the kids ). we were all seated at dinner and all of a sudden his ex wife says " well michael ,how much did you pay for this one " ,.( aimed at my wife ),. now knowing what i do about her divorce to my friend i replied as quick as a flash " not as much as graham had to give you to get rid of you cheeky old bag " ,( he gave her a petrol station /garage valued at a million quid ) as you can imagine the meal was ruined but i did leave feeling it was old bag 0, me 1 !,..

[Chang_paarp]

"The secret to a good marriage"

Stay in debt even if you don't have too be, that way she will not leave you or poison you until it is paid off! Keep doing that until she is too old to find someone else.

[Ajarn]

Of course, we have a guy presenting someone else's problems, but not clearly or completely, either. Plus, this is the 'mens side' of the issue... I wonder what the truth is, and I wonder what the women says. Until I have heard both sides, anything I do hear means nothing to me...

Edited April 15, 2007 by Ajarn