Mental health issues

[LeoCesar]

My wife has a very bad temper and cant control herself and she hurt and give us all a lot of problems, pain and fear.

Afterwords she cry and feel very bad and shameful and sometimes she hurt herself physically. 

I worry very much and both our families too.

We have been in contact several times with clinics and doctors and she still suffers.

We would like to find a specialist in this matter, one who really cares and have experience and are worth the time and money.

Does anyone here have any good advise to share?

Anywhere in Thailand.

Thanks

[Sheryl]

1. How old is your wife?

 

2. Has she always been this way or did it start later, if so at what age?

 

3. Are these episodes constant or does she go as much as 2 weeks with none?

 

The reason I ask all this is that there could be a hormonal cause in which case needs a specialist in that rather than a mental health professional.

[LeoCesar]

18 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

1. How old is your wife?

 

2. Has she always been this way or did it start later, if so at what age?

 

3. Are these episodes constant or does she go as much as 2 weeks with none?

 

The reason I ask all this is that there could be a hormonal cause in which case needs a specialist in that rather than a mental health professional.

Thank you for the reply.

1. 39y

2. According to her family it started early in her adolescence.

3. It is constant and she can feel excited and happy for about 48 hours tops but never longer.  

 

Edited May 25, 2020 by LeoCesar

[Sheryl]

OK so not hormonal.

 

Suggest this psychiatrist in Bangkok who specializes in behavioral and mood disorders. 

 

https://www.bumrungrad.com/en/doctors/Suttiporn-Janenawasin

 

There is a considerable mark up on medications at that hospital so ask if what she prescribes can be bought at apharmacy without a script, if it can then buy it at one (after finding out dose of course)

 

 

[LeoCesar]

2 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

OK so not hormonal.

 

Suggest this psychiatrist in Bangkok who specializes in behavioral and mood disorders. 

 

https://www.bumrungrad.com/en/doctors/Suttiporn-Janenawasin

 

There is a considerable mark up on medications at that hospital so ask if what she prescribes can be bought at apharmacy without a script, if it can then buy it at one (after finding out dose of course)

 

 

Thank you very much for your advise. 

[LeoCesar]

12 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Sounds like a perfectly normal Thai woman to me.

I hope not, but I hear you.

and you made me laugh a bit.

Thanks ????

[varun]

I hate to to sound insensitive, but such kind of things rarely get better.

Could be she's bi-polar and hasn't been diagnosed properly - might need meds.

If you haven't been married long, best to change the wife rather than mend the wife.
Was she taking yaba and/or drugs anytime during her life?

 

 

[DE Land]

Hi,

I just registered, to reply to you. Because I feel you. I've had similar problem with my wife and.. substance use was involved as well as anger and more. Went to many many psychiatrist in Bangkok.. many psychiatrists just don't really care much, they just want to give medicines and get the sessions over fast.

 

Until I found this psychiatrist, Dr. Paul Thisayakorn. He is the one that over the course of a year and a half, has saved our family from the brink of destruction.. he speaks very good English, cares, and professional, he's quite young but very smart. We've been to a few other psychiatrists who are much older and they think they know a lot and kind of arrogant in their approach. But we feel different and better approach with Dr Paul. I highly recommend him. The first session we had with him we sat down around 1 to 1 and a half hours (don't really remember exact length). Where he listened to our problems and took notes. The subsequent sessions are more or less 30 minutes long.

 

Dr. Paul is at Bangkok Hospital, but he also practice at his own clinic called "Body and Mind" clinic at Chamchuri Square.

 

You can Google the clinic, and ask me further if you need more info. I want to help you.

 

Best Regards,

Dominic

 

[fredwiggy]

Part of being bipolar is extreme mood swings and violence. In America it's a lot easier because this has been out for a very long time, and millions suffer from it. My ex girlfriend was bipolar and I read three books on it trying to help, and after this understood why my best friend, who had a lot going for him, took his own life back in 1987. The first step is them understanding this is about them and not other people, and then seeking help by way of a psychiatrist and then finding the right medicine. It does start earlier in life, usually in the teenage years, but then it's usually misunderstood as hormonal changes and teenage angst. This isn't something that will go away, and it gets worse the older you get. A lot put the blame on everything and everyone else when they are depressed, and that's not a good time to discuss it with her. When she is happy, you'll have to ask her questions. Do you see sometimes that you get really mad at nothing in particular? How does that make you feel? I notice sometimes you like to sleep a lot. Some days you don't want to talk with anyone and just want to be left alone. I love you very much and don't like seeing you feeling so low. It's hard when they can fully understand English. Having any language barrier makes it worse, so that's why you need to try and get her to talk with a professional, and someone that you can also talk to is better. Someone that is bilingual. Thailand has a very high incidence of bipolar disease. Patience is one thing you really need now.   You can look here for more.......................https://www.bangkokpost.com/learning/advanced/915533/bipolar-disorder-common-in-thailand-doctors-say

Edited May 25, 2020 by fredwiggy

[Keyser Soze666]

11 minutes ago, LeoCesar said:

I hope not, but I hear you.

and you made me laugh a bit.

Thanks ????

My one flew into a rage just recently, took a knife from the draw and threatened to cut her throat. She was sat watching Netflix within the hour. They are all raving bonkers.

[yogi100]

I had a fling with a woman like that and in the end her family including her children disowned her. She was an abusive, lazy drunkard who would never apologise for her behaviour.

 

She regretted nothing even when she'd sobered up. She'd often been on the sauce the previous evening when she's been performing. But she could be the same without drink and again no apology was ever offered.

 

She only calmed down with age. She'd been reasonably attractive while younger and that was her only saving grace but she wound up alone rarely seeing either of her two children.

 

But at least your wife knows she's done wrong so there is hope for you and the family. And hopefully she's not too fond of strong drink.

 

There are some drugs that can help and also natural remedies like Evening Primrose Oil.

 

Such a relationship can be an absolute nightmare and I wish you the best of luck.

 

However If she does not respond in a reasonable time and if you have no children I'd seriously consider calling it a day with her because you may be consigning your self to a life of tension, misery and as you yourself said fear. You could even find yourself being arrested.

 

And at some time in the future  you may wish you'd taken your leave earlier. We're all only here for a visit.

 

If you hang around too long it can ruin your life, I wish I'd scarpered long before I actually did but like a fool I thought she'd change but she steadily got worse as she realised what a mug I was for tolerating her. She played on it.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 25, 2020 by yogi100

[LeoCesar]

16 minutes ago, varun said:

I hate to to sound insensitive, but such kind of things rarely get better.

Could be she's bi-polar and hasn't been diagnosed properly - might need meds.

If you haven't been married long, best to change the wife rather than mend the wife.
Was she taking yaba and/or drugs anytime during her life?

 

 

thanks for your advise.

not to my knowledge, i dont think so..

she eats healthy, dont smoke or even taste any alcohol

[LeoCesar]

8 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

My one flew into a rage just recently, took a knife from the draw and threatened to cut her throat. She was sat watching Netflix within the hour. They are all raving bonkers.

geez, can you relax when sleeping?

i hope she can get her emotions under control.

[Sheryl]

Whomever you consult, bring the names of all medications she has been given with you.

 

I agree it is likely either bipolar disorder or drugs or both. 

 

The manic phase of BPD sometimes manifests as rage rather than euphoria.

 

BPD can be controlled with medication (if the patient cooperates and there is no drug abuse) but it can take quite some time and trial and error to get the medication regimen just right so perservere and once you have found a doctor you feel is diligent and understanding, keep going back and do not give up or switch just because the medication given did nto seem to work. Even the best doctor often has to try different mixes of meds before they get it right, every patient is different. Alos, it takes time for medications to take full effect, it is not immediate. Sometimes sveeral weeks.

 

If she is abusing drugs that is another matter and unless she is serious about stopping, best to separate - getting legal advise on how to get full custody of children if any first

[LeoCesar]

8 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

I had a fling with a woman like that and in the end her family including her children disowned her. She was an abusive, lazy drunkard who would never apologise for her behaviour.

 

She regretted nothing even when she'd sobered up. She'd often been on the sauce the previous evening when she's been performing. But she could be the same without drink and again no apology was ever offered.

 

She only calmed down with age. She'd been reasonably attractive while younger and that was her only saving grace but she wound up alone rarely seeing either of her two children.

 

But at least your wife knows she's done wrong so there is hope for you and the family. And hopefully she's not too fond of strong drink.

 

There are some drugs that can help and also natural remedies like Evening Primrose Oil.

 

Such a relationship can be an absolute nightmare and I wish you the best of luck.

 

However If she does not respond in a reasonable time and if you have no children I'd seriously consider calling it a day with her because you may be consigning your self to a life of tension, misery and as you yourself said fear. You could even find yourself being arrested.

 

And at some time in the future  you may wish you'd taken your leave earlier. We're all only here for a visit.

Thanks for sharing, i can relate to your experience a bit.

My wife doesnt drink thou but she never apologizes for anything.

We have a child together so leaving is not an option for me, i just have to commit and ride along with what we have started

and try to make her feel happy and balanced, I really wish for her to reach that state of mind.

Thanks again and best of luck to you.

[LeoCesar]

10 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

Whomever you consult, bring the names of all medications she has been given with you.

 

I agree it is likely either bipolar disorder or drugs or both. 

 

The manic phase of BPD sometimes manifests as rage rather than euphoria.

 

BPD can be controlled with medication (if the patient cooperates and there is no drug abuse) but it can take quite some time and trial and error to get the medication regimen just right so perservere and once you have found a doctor you feel is diligent and understanding, keep going back and do not give up or switch just because the medication given did nto seem to work. Even the best doctor often has to try different mixes of meds before they get it right, every patient is different. Alos, it takes time for medications to take full effect, it is not immediate. Sometimes sveeral weeks.

 

If she is abusing drugs that is another matter and unless she is serious about stopping, best to separate - getting legal advise on how to get full custody of children if any first

Thank you again. You are very helpful.

[Keyser Soze666]

11 minutes ago, LeoCesar said:

geez, can you relax when sleeping?

i hope she can get her emotions under control.

I sleep with one eye open. She is fine most of the time, but when angry she really goes to the races.

[LeoCesar]

32 minutes ago, DE Land said:

Hi,

I just registered, to reply to you. Because I feel you. I've had similar problem with my wife and.. substance use was involved as well as anger and more. Went to many many psychiatrist in Bangkok.. many psychiatrists just don't really care much, they just want to give medicines and get the sessions over fast.

 

Until I found this psychiatrist, Dr. Paul Thisayakorn. He is the one that over the course of a year and a half, has saved our family from the brink of destruction.. he speaks very good English, cares, and professional, he's quite young but very smart. We've been to a few other psychiatrists who are much older and they think they know a lot and kind of arrogant in their approach. But we feel different and better approach with Dr Paul. I highly recommend him. The first session we had with him we sat down around 1 to 1 and a half hours (don't really remember exact length). Where he listened to our problems and took notes. The subsequent sessions are more or less 30 minutes long.

 

Dr. Paul is at Bangkok Hospital, but he also practice at his own clinic called "Body and Mind" clinic at Chamchuri Square.

 

You can Google the clinic, and ask me further if you need more info. I want to help you.

 

Best Regards,

Dominic

 

Thanks, i will check it out, sounds very interesting.

[stouricks]

Just now, Keyser Soze666 said:

My one flew into a rage just recently, took a knife from the draw and threatened to cut her throat. She was sat watching Netflix within the hour. They are all raving bonkers.

Well yours definitely is bonkers.........mine IS NOT! Do not generalise please.

[LeoCesar]

34 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Part of being bipolar is extreme mood swings and violence. In America it's a lot easier because this has been out for a very long time, and millions suffer from it. My ex girlfriend was bipolar and I read three books on it trying to help, and after this understood why my best friend, who had a lot going for him, took his own life back in 1987. The first step is them understanding this is about them and not other people, and then seeking help by way of a psychiatrist and then finding the right medicine. It does start earlier in life, usually in the teenage years, but then it's usually misunderstood as hormonal changes and teenage angst. This isn't something that will go away, and it gets worse the older you get. A lot put the blame on everything and everyone else when they are depressed, and that's not a good time to discuss it with her. When she is happy, you'll have to ask her questions. Do you see sometimes that you get really mad at nothing in particular? How does that make you feel? I notice sometimes you like to sleep a lot. Some days you don't want to talk with anyone and just want to be left alone. I love you very much and don't like seeing you feeling so low. It's hard when they can fully understand English. Having any language barrier makes it worse, so that's why you need to try and get her to talk with a professional, and someone that you can also talk to is better. Someone that is bilingual. Thailand has a very high incidence of bipolar disease. Patience is one thing you really need now.   You can look here for more.......................https://www.bangkokpost.com/learning/advanced/915533/bipolar-disorder-common-in-thailand-doctors-say

Thank you very much for sharing this with us..

Best of luck to you.

[fredwiggy]

25 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

My one flew into a rage just recently, took a knife from the draw and threatened to cut her throat. She was sat watching Netflix within the hour. They are all raving bonkers.

It's actually one very big reason Thai women are noted as being crazy. This has been running rampant for centuries and is a major factor in divorce. If you understand the disease, and she gets help, it can work. She has to find the right medication and stay on it forever. Children and husband are neglected, dinner is made begrudgingly, TV shows are a fix for awhile, as is sex, spending, sleep, drugs and booze. Everything about life is worthless when they are down, and they are a different person when the serotonin and noradrenaline are in better balance. This isn't their fault. Knowing that they have a problem and not taking the steps for help is.

[fredwiggy]

14 minutes ago, LeoCesar said:

Thanks for sharing, i can relate to your experience a bit.

My wife doesnt drink thou but she never apologizes for anything.

We have a child together so leaving is not an option for me, i just have to commit and ride along with what we have started

and try to make her feel happy and balanced, I really wish for her to reach that state of mind.

Thanks again and best of luck to you.

Not abusing any substances is a plus for you. Having a child means you need to do everything in your power for the both of them. The child needs a mom that can function. Not apologizing is another symptom, because someone that's bipolar can have narcissistic tendencies, and they are just as bad as being bipolar. When you get the bipolar under control,the nastiness goes away too.

[LeoCesar]

12 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

It's actually one very big reason Thai women are noted as being crazy. This has been running rampant for centuries and is a major factor in divorce. If you understand the disease, and she gets help, it can work. She has to find the right medication and stay on it forever. Children and husband are neglected, dinner is made begrudgingly, TV shows are a fix for awhile, as is sex, spending, sleep, drugs and booze. Everything about life is worthless when they are down, and they are a different person when the serotonin and noradrenaline are in better balance. This isn't their fault. Knowing that they have a problem and not taking the steps for help is.

you are describing our situation exactly..

i am used to be able to sort things out but this time its really tough,

i will follow your advise and ask questions while she feel better and see what will come out of it.

you are very helpful. 

[LeoCesar]

14 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Not abusing any substances is a plus for you. Having a child means you need to do everything in your power for the both of them. The child needs a mom that can function. Not apologizing is another symptom, because someone that's bipolar can have narcissistic tendencies, and they are just as bad as being bipolar. When you get the bipolar under control,the nastiness goes away too.

i hope so, i am dreaming of that day to come.

[yogi100]

30 minutes ago, LeoCesar said:

Thanks for sharing, i can relate to your experience a bit.

My wife doesnt drink thou but she never apologizes for anything.

We have a child together so leaving is not an option for me, i just have to commit and ride along with what we have started

and try to make her feel happy and balanced, I really wish for her to reach that state of mind.

Thanks again and best of luck to you.

They don't have to drink, my one could flip when sober but not as ferociously as when drunk. She was English.

 

We also had a child together. After we split the authorities took him into care because of her violent behaviour and eventually he came to live with me. He's now 41 years old so it shows you that that relationship is still having an affect on us all these decades later. He does not trust women. Even more so after having seen some of the trollops I've got involved with.

 

I've never been lucky with women so now I stick to the bar girls of Pattaya. My son has remained single.

 

He more or less grew up without a mother and when they say that every boy needs a mother it's as true as a girl needing a father.

 

Time goes by so quickly especially as we get older and it may be wise if you decide what to do ASAP. If necessary take your child with you. Because as you already know the situation you're in now is no joke.

[fredwiggy]

6 minutes ago, LeoCesar said:

i hope so, i am dreaming of that day to come.

Try not to push her buttons. Your experience models those I have been in. Patience is the best word here. If you get into arguments when she isn't in the best mood, it will push her and her trust further away. You have to try and put yourself in her shoes, and reading everything you can about marriage and depression will help you both............https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/how-to-help-depressed-spouse/

[LeoCesar]

12 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

They don't have to drink, my one could flip when sober but not as ferociously as when drunk. She was English.

 

We also had a child together. After we split the authorities took him into care because of her violent behaviour and eventually he came to live with me. He's now 41 years old so it shows you that that relationship is still having an affect on us all these decades later. He does not trust women. Even more so after having seen some of the trollops I've got involved with.

 

I've never been lucky with women so now I stick to the bar girls of Pattaya. My son has remained single.

 

He more or less grew up without a mother and when they say that every boy needs a mother it's as true as a girl needing a father.

 

Time goes by so quickly especially as we get older and it may be wise if you decide what to do ASAP. If necessary take your child with you. Because as you already know the situation you're in now is no joke.

 

I will do everything I can first and hope we will find balance in our family. 
The answers I got from you here have given me hope and energy to fight on, 
I thank you all for that.

Edited May 25, 2020 by LeoCesar

[LeoCesar]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Try not to push her buttons. Your experience models those I have been in. Patience is the best word here. If you get into arguments when she isn't in the best mood, it will push her and her trust further away. You have to try and put yourself in her shoes, and reading everything you can about marriage and depression will help you both............https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/how-to-help-depressed-spouse/

thanks again

[CharlieH]

Off topic removed.

[Keyser Soze666]

40 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

It's not so easy if you have a child in such circumstances.

 

My problems occurred in the UK where the police and social services always side with the mother. Put a foot wrong and PC Plod will have you down the nearest nick before you can say Tommy Robinson.

 

Assuming the OP lives in Thailand I don't know how he'll stand legally. But I doubt the BIB will take much notice of a falang over a Thai unless cash becomes involved.

 

It's obvious he's a decent fellow who loves both her and the child so he's in a bit of a pickle. But jumping on a plane would be the easy solution for many especially in a country of which he's not even a citizen. He would not be the first to take that way out but it's hard if not impossible to do that if you really love and have loyalty to your family and children.

TBH it really is a bad situation. Now I'm one to have a laugh on here and elsewhere etc, but that feeling of being in a relationship where no option is a good option, it is a nightmare. If he jumped on a plane he would only end up trudging the streets in farangland torturing himself and wondering how his child is etc. Without going into it all now, I've had and continue to have problems with my missus, who I have 2 kids with, I've thought about bolting many times but can't do it, you've also then got to explain to your own family and others what has happened, etc, etc.

 

My answer is this - you sit it out. Time goes quick, you sit it out and make the best of it, once your kids are 17/18 then you go and get YOUR life back. That's what I'll be doing. And I've already told my missus I won't be supporting her once the kids are grown up.