Dont lend money to Thai "friends"

[Oldie]

I want to ask a question because I don't know the answer. Imagine you have a lot of money and your Thai friends have problems to survive financially - like every day. Nothing special here. What would you do to help them? Perhaps it is an easy question - but after very many years here in Thailand I still don't know the answer. 

 

[Kelsall]

9 minutes ago, Oldie said:

I want to ask a question because I don't know the answer. Imagine you have a lot of money and your Thai friends have problems to survive financially - like every day. Nothing special here. What would you do to help them? Perhaps it is an easy question - but after very many years here in Thailand I still don't know the answer. 

 

I question whether any of us really have Thai "friends"

[fredwiggy]

Lent 10.000 baht to sister and law and her army husband. Didn't want to because he's a little squirrelly but my wife said they really needed it. Covid prevented him from going to Army bank in Bangkok, so it took 3 months. I asked them again last week to pay it back, it was longer than they said. (he and her work) so they paid it back.

[473geo]

10 minutes ago, Oldie said:

I want to ask a question because I don't know the answer. Imagine you have a lot of money and your Thai friends have problems to survive financially - like every day. Nothing special here. What would you do to help them? Perhaps it is an easy question - but after very many years here in Thailand I still don't know the answer. 

 

In the cities not sure how things would work, maybe others can assist

 

We live in the countryside where work for many can be sporadic. (we do not by the way have 'a lot of money') My wife handles this very well, over the year we will hire local people, family, to do seasonal work as required, we then have 'special projects' these are generally brought into play when there is no alternative available work for relatives, this year for instance we had sister and brother law put up 500 meters of fencing, my son gets paid for putting out the manure, rather than give a little money to a friend every day my wife 'hired' her to take care of the children for an hour while she went to the farm, it's the Thai way, I like it, same way I was raised to earn 'pocket money'

 

Those with loads of money will also perhaps advise an alternative more successful ways

[Oldie]

2 minutes ago, Kelsall said:

I question whether any of us really have Thai "friends"

I have. My ex girlfriend (never worked in a bar) is after almost 30 years still my best friend.

 

If I am honest - I don't know who is a REAL friend. As long as I have money enough many people might like me (hospitals included). I am not what you will call financially poor. But without any obligations (wife or children) I don't even know to whom I could give what is left if I die. And to be even more honest - all my wealth is useless to me because I am too old to enjoy it... It is a natural border that you can't pay to get over it. I always had the feeling everything is up to me. But I had to learn painfully that what I want and what I can get is not only up to me. 

[473geo]

14 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Lent 10.000 baht to sister and law and her army husband. Didn't want to because he's a little squirrelly but my wife said they really needed it. Covid prevented him from going to Army bank in Bangkok, so it took 3 months. I asked them again last week to pay it back, it was longer than they said. (he and her work) so they paid it back.

The beauty of my wife handling 'our' money, she will consult with me on almost all expenditure, I can usually guess by her approach if she wants to loan money or not. My wife is now comfortable saying we do not have the money, if people say you have rich farang husband she tells them 'not rich, we have enough'.  If 'we' decide to loan then my wife is the one who says yes and gives out the money, also takes responsibility for the return. Makes my life less complicated, love it. ???? I can say to her you know how much money we have darling, you think we can do this?

[TooBigToFit]

Lots of shysters and lazy people in Thailand. Most of my relatives are only burdens.

[473geo]

1 minute ago, TooBigToFit said:

Lots of shysters and lazy people in Thailand. Most of my relatives are only burdens.

Most all of mine are grafters and take work where they can, happy to help out for a few baht at every opportunity, just lucky I guess ????

[Saltire]

In the village we have a 65 year old neighbour from Laos who is a good friend to my wife. She has 3 offspring born in Thailand and all work in Bangkok so she is totally reliant on them sending money to her on paydays.

 

After a year here she asked via the wife for a loan of 1000 Baht. When I asked why ask us after a year she said she was fed up borrowing from Thai 'friends' all of whom were happy to lend her the 1000 but expected 1200 back.

 

Being a member on here I immediately thought I'd not see a penny back but I was wrong. Paid back in full and since then has borrowed small amounts every month or so. When the wife hands over the money she immediately goes to buy provisions at the market to feed her and her husband. She has never been late to pay back in full. Her needs are real, and I would never dream of charging her interest. She is a kind soul and frequently she and the wife share cooked food dishes over the fence. Not everyone is out to rob you.

 

[anterian]

I often lend money, but my Thai partner filters the requests so I never get any problems. I have a few basic rules, I only loan to owners not renters, and only if they have children. I have never stated this but the villagers seem to have worked this out. 

[Oldie]

18 minutes ago, 473geo said:

In the cities not sure how things would work, maybe others can assist

 

We live in the countryside where work for many can be sporadic. (we do not by the way have 'a lot of money') My wife handles this very well, over the year we will hire local people, family, to do seasonal work as required, we then have 'special projects' these are generally brought into play when there is no alternative available work for relatives, this year for instance we had sister and brother law put up 500 meters of fencing, my son gets paid for putting out the manure, rather than give a little money to a friend every day my wife 'hired' her to take care of the children for an hour while she went to the farm, it's the Thai way, I like it, same way I was raised to earn 'pocket money'

 

Those with loads of money will also perhaps advise an alternative more successful ways

"Those with loads of money will also perhaps advise an alternative more successful ways" 

 

I think you do great job. You do a lot. Perhaps and for sure it is wrong helping with money only. But it is not easy. It might be a huge effort to convince people to do what makes real sense. Money alone cannot help. And you really do much more than just giving money. I know that my donations are useless if people don't care how they are used. The only option to avoid such feelings is to not donate anything at all. Perhaps it is stupid to try to help with money alone. I just can repeat - you really do a great job. 

[Foxy52]

My old Mum always told me not to borrow money, or lend it if I can't afford to lose it. And I never have, to the extent that I even bought my house in the UK for cash. Mind you, none of my 'loans' to Thai friends have never been returned and I never really expected them to be, so no great loss. 

[fredwiggy]

27 minutes ago, Oldie said:

I have. My ex girlfriend (never worked in a bar) is after almost 30 years still my best friend.

 

If I am honest - I don't know who is a REAL friend. As long as I have money enough many people might like me (hospitals included). I am not what you will call financially poor. But without any obligations (wife or children) I don't even know to whom I could give what is left if I die. And to be even more honest - all my wealth is useless to me because I am too old to enjoy it... It is a natural border that you can't pay to get over it. I always had the feeling everything is up to me. But I had to learn painfully that what I want and what I can get is not only up to me. 

Find people that can really use it, really deserve it, and there's your legacy. We're just getting by but I will leave the house I built to my wife and that alone is more than she would ever have had before, along with a faithful husband and dad to our child.