32 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

love is indefinable and is different for all the individuals concerned.  It's not about race, or ethnicity, its about a common bonding,  a mutual support and respect,  a companionship, a meeting of minds and you may find that anywhere, or never find it at all.  I 'love' my Thai wife of many years standing, as we both  have all of that list in common, although we do of course come from totally different cultural backgrounds. The relationship and love with my late first wife was of the same list.  I certainly would not wish to be single again. 

So would u define yourself as some one who cannot be alone.

Did u go to Thailand specific to look for another " love" after your first wife or that wasn't the plan.

 

u define it and Ill let you  know

IMO I have it both ways, I spend time in the village with my GF, time alone in the condo where I have my space. At my age, I don't feel like going out and chasing tail. One woman is enough.

I really could not say if what we have is love. I'm very fond of my GF, and also protective.In turn, she looks after me very well. She says she loves me, but that simply could be the culture here of telling people what they think they want to hear.

It's  not necessarily about money. Having said that, I don't think I have met any single woman here above the age of thirty who is not looking for a provider.

Actually the above poster made a good point that if you are looking for real love stick to your own age group.

 

The 200kg 55yo guy at my work in Australia, who went to Thailand a number of times before trying the Phillipines ,said he had the opportunity to find a younger lady to marry but decided a lady at 50yo was better because he knew when he brought her back to Australia it would be harder for her to find another man at that age.

12 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

IMO I have it both ways, I spend time in the village with my GF, time alone in the condo where I have my space. At my age, I don't feel like going out and chasing tail. One woman is enough.

I really could not say if what we have is love. I'm very fond of my GF, and also protective.In turn, she looks after me very well. She says she loves me, but that simply could be the culture here of telling people what they think they want to hear.

It's  not necessarily about money. Having said that, I don't think I have met any single woman here above the age of thirty who is not looking for a provider.

Your first paragraph..." I really could not say if what we have is love "

 

May I ask then...is your relationship because of not wanting to be lonely ?

It seems to me a question with no concrete answer it all depends on what a person wants, someone is happy to live alone after an expensive divorce and someone waiting for a divorce does not yet know what awaits them so they live peacefully happy every day,

 

The choice is yours of your life.

2 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Can I ask your age?

What about having someone who cares for you ?

 

  Just qualified for a Thai retirement visa .

I can take care of myself , feed myself , wash myself , was and dry my clothes .

I always seem to end up "caring" about/for Females more than they care for me .

She did care about me, when the GBP was 55 to the Baht and as the GBP sunk , so did her "caring" about me 

 

33 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

So would u define yourself as some one who cannot be alone.

Did u go to Thailand specific to look for another " love" after your first wife or that wasn't the plan.

 

I would say that I am definately happier in relationship, although I am happy to be alone for stretches. 

 

I met my wife in Hong Kong when I worked there after my first wife died.  She worked for the same company that I did.  

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

love is indefinable and is different for all the individuals concerned.  It's not about race, or ethnicity, its about a common bonding,  a mutual support and respect,  a companionship, a meeting of minds and you may find that anywhere, or never find it at all.  I 'love' my Thai wife of many years standing, as we both  have all of that list in common, although we do of course come from totally different cultural backgrounds. The relationship and love with my late first wife was of the same list.  I certainly would not wish to be single again. 

 

  Although I am single , I still have friends . 

3 hours ago, PatOngo said:

I believe you can buy love for around 1000 baht an hour on Walking Street!

too much during this pandemic

27 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Actually the above poster made a good point that if you are looking for real love stick to your own age group

 

I have been fortunate. Married a Thai girl 26 years younger than me, 14 years ago, after knowing each other for three days!!!!.......hardly spent a day apart since.

 

She is affectionate, considerate, works hard, has always had a 'well paid' job as a supervisor...we are both retired now.

 

She cuts my hair, gives me a manicure and pedicure fortnightly and she showers me everyday (must be the smell).......I'm not an invalid by the way....5555..... a fit (IMO) 75kg, 6' 65 year old.

 

Happy days.

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

Yes Colin but if it doesn't happen he has landed himself for life with a wife he feels he does not need, can you imagine how that would go?

 

There are those who are better off single, and may have the money later in life to pay a carer

 

 

  And who is to say whether the Woman would stick around or be willing to care for me ?

I would say that the majority of Thai Females would walk away from a relationship if the Husband had a serious accident and there was no long term benefit of them sticking around .

Going by the number of times I get called 'Hansum man' and 'hello darling'  on Walking Street,

there is plenty of love to be found!

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

 

My question is this ...

How many of you expats particular in Pattaya enjoy being alone & single ?

 

That is live by yourself and are independent...and don't want a relationship.

I say this because there was a discussion at my work today among us saying if you are looking for real real love & partner go to the Phillipines not Thailand .

(Removed)

 

Do U agree 

 

real love in the Philippines better then in Thailand, sorry but knowing well both places it's all same same, in either place we are referred to as walking ATM's

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I say this because there was a discussion at my work today among us saying if you are looking for real real love & partner go to the Phillipines not Thailand

 

  Highly unlikely you will find "real love" , you will probably find a desperately poor lady who cannot make ends meet who will very much appreciate you financially helping her out 

As your body eventually breaks down, good to have someone you can trust -- to wake up to as the anesthesia wears off and your wallet and phone aren't gone.   ???? 

39 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

 

  Just qualified for a Thai retirement visa .

I can take care of myself , feed myself , wash myself , was and dry my clothes .

I always seem to end up "caring" about/for Females more than they care for me .

She did care about me, when the GBP was 55 to the Baht and as the GBP sunk , so did her "caring" about me 

 

I feel for you mate, i had a Thai wife who only cared about money.

Now i have a Thai wife who has never asked me for 1 baht, loving/ caring wife.

Many ladies only care about money/ what they can get out of you, but there are many more just the opposite.

Yep, I need a mommy to take care of me and I found her in Thailand. 

 

As for the Philippines most of the women want to run away from that forsaken country. They even come to Thailand for work. Thailand has a lot less desperate women and this is a good thing. 

 

Change Pattaya for Rayong or Chonburi and you'll find love. 

18 minutes ago, Ebumbu said:

As your body eventually breaks down, good to have someone you can trust -- to wake up to as the anesthesia wears off and your wallet and phone aren't gone.   ???? 

 

   You should never leave your drink open and  alone when you go to the toilet, anyway, where did you hide your phone and wallet ?

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Your first paragraph..." I really could not say if what we have is love "

 

May I ask then...is your relationship because of not wanting to be lonely ?

I am very comfortable with my own company. I've had my share of P4P here as well. IMO women here select who they think will take care of them, then work on convincing the male to do so with all the tools at their command.

Perhaps I am just used to having her look after me.

1 hour ago, RichardColeman said:

Much as people the mick, I found my wife on thaifriendly - school teacher from Nan. We chatted for 2 months, I flew to Thailand on 23rd August 2015 and married her on 10th September. We have been together over 5 years and have one daughter.

 

She is the most suitable person for me that I have ever found in my life, kind, considerate, gentle, great with money, cleaning fanatic and content with a non rich - but good - life. 

 

Have I played around whist together - no. Have I strewn my wild oats - Hell, yeah,  15 years visiting Pattaya previous you can bet I have.

 

However, I respect those living the single life - I've done it, and enjoyed it greatly (and expensively).

 

But, to those single guys, I can honestly say that there is a great security in having that person in your life that you know will be with you to the end and take care of you in your last days. I have too many friends now that lived the life and now are basically trapped in their homes awaiting death on their own. A good marriage to a good woman is better than an insurance policy and a few happy memories 

After marriage breakdown just three years ago, and living in Asia previously, I visited Thailand again and decided to find a new life with a relatively uncomplicated woman. Met so many ladies on ThaiFriendly, had a ball, learnt a lot before finding a delightful Isaan divorcee - honest as the day is long, happy to continue working and not demanding, especially financially. Most importantly, we both enjoy being fit and enjoy our runs together, even though she does have 22 years advantage.

I help out financially but not totally "looking after her". We're slowly upgrading her house in the village for the future, while living in my Hua Hin townhouse. I get back to Oz for friends and family as don't wish to be totally based in Thailand for the time being and her daughter is attending uni in Hua Hin, so suits us both. We'll travel around, including in Oz later.

Some take homes:

1) ThaiFriendly is wonderful and you can meet delightful ladies on the site, just have to be a little careful and set your criteria - for me the finances were an issue as wasn't looking to be sole provider.
2) The $s issue is major. Most of the ladies wanted to be "looked after" even the uni educated ones. It's ingrain. And it's not surprising given the dynamics of a retiree finding a younger Thai partner.
3) Sensuality has to be real. Not all women are the same in this regard.
4) Real Buddhists are a treasure and beware of drinkers.
5) Be honest and sensitive throughout.

Agree with you wholeheartedly "she is the most suitable person for me that I have ever found in my life, kind, considerate, gentle, great with money, cleaning fanatic and content with a non rich - but good - life"

Been apart longer than planned with Covid as I has to go back to Oz in June, but so happy our daily video chats and regular messaging have kept our relatively young flame alive.

I'll return after my grandchild is born in the New Year and can't wait.

i found real love, but only after having a broken heart .

(my X posted a photo of her and a and a hard looking Thai lady drinking champagne in the Ritz (Sweden)

I was obviously not good enough for her ! ????

2 hours ago, CorpusChristie said:

 

  Just qualified for a Thai retirement visa .

I can take care of myself , feed myself , wash myself , was and dry my clothes .

I always seem to end up "caring" about/for Females more than they care for me .

She did care about me, when the GBP was 55 to the Baht and as the GBP sunk , so did her "caring" about me 

 

Exchange everything into Laos Kip and you are again a millionaire and interesting to her????

When in the UK, and before we married she used to sit on my knee and we would watch the F1 races together. Since we married she would rather go and do the ironing.  Not quite sure where that fits in with love though. 

Having read the  comments  thus  far I am very happy to say I have  maintained avoidance  of significant  social contact  with the majority of  westerners  in Thailand.

There are clearly those  here in Thailand  who have "found " caring and amicable relationships that have  lasted at least some test of  time and I congratulate them.

There are those  that have suffered  various degrees of  disappointment due to various reason which many if not  most  would prefer to attribute to anyone  but themselves.

There are those  that either deliberately or accidentally came to continue an inherent crass selfish desire easily  catered to.

Each to their own. I think not a  difficult  guess as to who is  happiest.

 

Yes there are some horror stories out there especially being ripped off financially.

I really have the utmost respect for those older farang who are independent & don't need that mother figure wife in their life.

I guess it's how you were brought up and if your a needy type person and introvert or extrovert 

 

Myself.. I get lonely..I would luv now to settle down but don't think I ever could .. ...I do worry however when I retire to Thailand ( Pattaya)  as I get towards 60 ridiculous silly things like who will visit me in hospital if I get sick ?

 

Do I need anyone to actually " love " when I retire there ?

Do I need a love of my life ?

 

 

I'm able to look after myself but even though I love the girls of the night there will always be a missing piece I guess.. someone who really cares that you can talk to .

 

.I'm scared to say... end up 80yo in hospital bed and the nurse says where's your wife  etc ...and I have no one ...

Edited December 16, 20205 yr by georgegeorgia

6 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I guess do u want or need someone to care for you ?

Who will visit u in hospital?

That's not really love though 

4 hours ago, Surelynot said:

 

I have been fortunate. Married a Thai girl 26 years younger than me, 14 years ago, after knowing each other for three days!!!!.......hardly spent a day apart since.

 

She is affectionate, considerate, works hard, has always had a 'well paid' job as a supervisor...we are both retired now.

 

She cuts my hair, gives me a manicure and pedicure fortnightly and she showers me everyday (must be the smell).......I'm not an invalid by the way....5555..... a fit (IMO) 75kg, 6' 65 year old.

 

Happy days.

But she can hardly put a sentence together. "what you want eat Hon" would be about it. 

 

That's what kills the experience. The rest of your stuff can be bought for peanuts. 

 

Guys all of these types of threads end up with everybody being deliriously happy with their partner. 

 

I'm not buying it but I got a lot of friends trapped and it's not pretty. 

All tink too mutt.

5 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I'm very fond of my GF, and also protective.

Which simply means you love her, and dont know it.