Thai Funeral

[November Rain]

I've been to two Thai funerals. One for my father (farang) & one for my boyfriend (Thai). My father's I don't remember all of; I think it was too much of a shock (both his death & the ceremony). My BF's I remember very well. We had a 5 day "celebration" for him. He was cremated the day after what would have been his 39th birthday. I was told not to cry in the vicinity of the hall where his coffin was as it would upset him & make him want to stay with me, to comfort me. So everytime I wanted to cry, I had to walk into the temple grounds. His son, then 4, had a great time playing with the other kids. He was fine about his father's death. Even now, he's philosophical. He believes his Daddy's in the moon & watching him. He talks to him, both in the moon & when we light a candle for him.

The funeral itself was good in some places (he was a musician & one day just consisted of a jam session where all his friends played music to him) & upsetting in others. I found both BF's & Dad's funerals strange, but not disrespectful. I truly feel that those that came to both were showing their love & respect. I just wish I'd been allowed to show mine in the way I find natural.

Edited May 15, 2007 by November Rain

[schmitonian]

Been to one funeral and it wasn't quite what I expected.

More recently, my wife's grandmother died and we couldn't get back for the funeral. When we next lobbed in Thailand 3 months later, my wife insisted on taking me to her grandmothers old home where they then proceeded to pour her ashes, and a few bones, onto a white rag before pouring water over the bones. I was horrified! Afterwards, they placed the rag on a ledge to dry out... and so the dogs wouldn't get the bones.

[chang]

Been to 1 Thai funeral in North East. Very brief description.

Person died

Pronounced dead by doctor/coroner or who ever does it in Thailand

Body left at house for 48hrs for friends and family to pay respects.

Procession out of village to field about 1 mile away.

Buddist monks praying, chanting kneeling

Casket placed onto bonfire/pyre

Casket opened, water poured on body by lots of people 1 at a time and saying their goodbye

Bonfire lit

People hung round for about 1 hr then had massive party

2days later

ashes gathered into pile

load of people root in ashes to find bone, real good luck if you find jaw bone (toddlers to old people) and give to monk

more chanting

ashes formed into person shape on floor with coins placed at joints, even some fun made about how big they should make his manhood

clothes laid onto ashes

more chanting

finish the end every one went home.

Having been to quite a few funerals in the UK i was really supprised by how much of a joyful ocassion it was.

A memory that stays with me even as others fade away.

Edited May 15, 2007 by chang

[longway]

I was threatened in the grounds by a naked drunken derelict guy waving a sword around. It was nice to take in a bit of true Thai Culture.

Love it ! May I have copyright for it to use as my signature ? No, I'm not sarcastic - You just issued an long waited essence of LoS in only one phrase.

Be my guest.... I wish I was joking, but that anecdote is unfortunately true. Wonder if the TAT or Ministry Of Culture could also use it, to push for more "quality tourists" to visit local temples and stuff. "Have your photograph taken with the naked alcoholic psychopath brandishing a home-made sword, anyone?"

yeah thats right the funeral just would not have been complete without the drunk naked sword wielding nutjob being there. a close relative or friend of your wife's family i presume, they pobably bussed him him especially.

lucky he didnt use his sword or we would have lost your unique take about life in thailand.

Edited May 15, 2007 by longway

[longway]

Now I'm more aware of the Thai's attitude towards death and accept it. That's why you see all the grisly death photos in the newspapers. They face death as common as birth, but with a bit more curiosity. Who's to say which culture has right idea about how to handle death.

i think its done to sell more papers than anything else

[kenk3z]

I was recently confused by a Thai TV show that was showing a burial under ground - supposed to be happening in the past, earlier in someone's life. I asked my wife why they were showing a burial instead of a cremation, and she said the older Thai way to handle dead people was burial. Only more recently was cremation favored.

Can't say I believe this, as the story is clear that Buddha was cremated and the remnants distributed. Any truth to burial being more common in the past?

Any graveyards in Thailand? Christian sect? Islamic sect?

kenk3z

[sbk]

Chinese all bury. Also, Muslims.

However, with non-Chinese, non-Muslim Thais it is not unknown but personal preference. My grandfather-in-law requested to be buried when he died. He just didn't like the idea of cremation. And yes, he was buried in a coffin, in a concrete sealed grave at the back of one of my father-in-law's coconut plantations.

[Swelters]

Chinese all bury. Also, Muslims.

However, with non-Chinese, non-Muslim Thais it is not unknown but personal preference. My grandfather-in-law requested to be buried when he died. He just didn't like the idea of cremation. And yes, he was buried in a coffin, in a concrete sealed grave at the back of one of my father-in-law's coconut plantations.

I lived in an Isan village 45 years ago, everyone buried in a bamboo thicket outside the village.

SWelters