First Timer Or Not?

[meadish_sweetball]

Its our only marriage, I was 20 she was 22 and I love her more now than I did when I was younger. She is Thai and still looks alot younger than I do. Iam 59 now and we have two children and four grand kids.

For all the skeptics out there you are a good example of what can go right! Sound like a pretty lucky guy to me. Hope you have many more good years together.

Fully agree about the positive example, but not so sure about 'lucky'. A marriage that long is not the result of luck... rather the results of two committed people.

[sbk]

Its our only marriage, I was 20 she was 22 and I love her more now than I did when I was younger. She is Thai and still looks alot younger than I do. Iam 59 now and we have two children and four grand kids.

For all the skeptics out there you are a good example of what can go right! Sound like a pretty lucky guy to me. Hope you have many more good years together.

Fully agree about the positive example, but not so sure about 'lucky'. A marriage that long is not the result of luck... rather the results of two committed people.

Absolutely. My husband and I celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary this year (first marriage for both of us) and it takes alot of work, dedication, commitment to each other and to working things out. And don't forget the most important ingredients; love and respect.

Congrats rocky3.

[villagefarang]

Probably should have used the word "blessed" instead of "lucky". That is more what I ment. Thanks for pointing that out.

[villagefarang]

Probably should have used the word "blessed" instead of "lucky". That is more what I meant. Thanks for pointing that out.

Sorry about the double post. I got an error on the first one but I guess it still went thru.

Edited June 1, 2007 by villagefarang

[quiksilva]

My Thai girlfriend and I met each other seven years ago, and last year we tied the knot, with a Buddhist ceremony in Bangkok and a Christian wedding on the beach at Koh Samed

Reception at Le Vimarn

Everything is still tickety boo, just as it has been since we first met. I'm 33 and she's a little younger. Its our only marriage too.

[Aujuba]

It's my first marriage but my wife has been married before. My wife is one year younger than me. We've been together for 5 years. We have our ups and downs but I always tell my wife that she is the only one for me. Like Edith and Archie Bunker ,no matter what arguments we have in the end we always know we love each other. To say our marriage is full of kisses and roses all the time would be ridiculous. My wife gives me freedom to go out and have a good time if I desire but to be honest I haven't found the urge for that. I used to be one of those guys who was with a different girl every night but after getting married the thrill has faded.

[Aujuba]

Nice pic quiksilva. I didn't have a big ceremony but it looks like quite a bit of money is spent on weddings by foreigners marrying Thais - another benefit for the economy here.

[soundman]

Nice pic quiksilva. I didn't have a big ceremony but it looks like quite a bit of money is spent on weddings by foreigners marrying Thais - another benefit for the economy here.

Thai's spend lots of money on their weddings too. Not un-common for 1mil+ baht to be spent on a wedding from the Thai upper class. Even weddings in the not so well off class tend to be very extravagant.

My thai wedding 6 years ago had over 400 people in attendance & that was considered a small wedding!!!!

The photo shoot was the most annoying part - took hours.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[sukanyacondo]

I think it would be better to have any big parties after 10 years or so. In the Uk they spend thosuands then get divorced within a few years. They borrow up to the hilt to buy a house and could of used the money they spent on their wedding as a deposit.

Me and the wife got married at the registry office in thailand and just asked 2 friends to go out for dinner with us and that was it.

[a2396]

When you married Thai was it you first time or have you been married before and how many times? Thought it might be interesting to see if the majority are going Thai after a bad Western marriage or if their first plunge was Thai. Personally I skipped the whole first marriage thing and waited for the "trophy wife". That way I missed the bitter divorce and alimony drama. Met the wife at 43 and married at 45. Had a great single life and even better married one.

So, how many years have you been married to your "trophy wife"?

8 years next month and we have been inseparable for the last 10 years. Being Thai she looks younger than her nearly 33 years so she has been hit on by some much younger guys in health clubs in the US. One guy asked her if she was even old enough to be a member. It used to bother her but I told her to consider it a compliment and to go with the flow. Good head on her shoulders and good social skills, both here and abroad, so knows how to handle tricky situations with grace and style. I don't mind being considered a cradle robber but most people peg me at 10-15 years younger than I am. I obviously have age issues but so does my wife and since they are complimentary issues it works just fine for us. Maybe not for everybody, though.

If you had taken a quick look at my profile it would not have been too difficult to answer your own question as I will be 53 next month.

Thanks for your reply. I wish I had your good fortune. You are a lucky man. Don't let the age issue get in the way. I think it makes little difference, if the compatibility and understanding are good. Best of luck.

[villagefarang]

Thanks for your reply. I wish I had your good fortune. You are a lucky man. Don't let the age issue get in the way. I think it makes little difference, if the compatibility and understanding are good. Best of luck.

Thank you too for your kind comments and you are very right about the "lucky" part because she found me not the other way around. But then again that is another long story.

[pgs]

Nice pic quiksilva. I didn't have a big ceremony but it looks like quite a bit of money is spent on weddings by foreigners marrying Thais - another benefit for the economy here.

Thai's spend lots of money on their weddings too. Not un-common for 1mil+ baht to be spent on a wedding from the Thai upper class. Even weddings in the not so well off class tend to be very extravagant.

My thai wedding 6 years ago had over 400 people in attendance & that was considered a small wedding!!!!

The photo shoot was the most annoying part - took hours.

Cheers,

Soundman.

Ours was about 20,000THB. Not an 'over the top' wedding. As it was 2nd time each, we had things we preferred to spend the $ on. Great turn out for a breakkie wedding - about 200 people on 18 hours notice. Although I always feel 2 hours is far too long for a ceremony of any type.

The blue one I married.

Edited June 1, 2007 by pgs

[chanchao]

First time I got married too, same for my wife. We were already together for 5 years or so before marrying.

It's hel_l, hel_l I TELL YOU! No more freedom, nags about everything, any drink is 'too much alcohol', gets suspicious even over a simple business trip to Pattaya, and even when minding my own biz posting on message boards she often pu

[paulm]

I would love to hear from anyone about the process of marrying a Thai lady. I know the basics but what does a guy do before the whole ceremony thing. I am planning a wedding in Nonmuang, Nongbua Lamphu soon. Cant wait as we have known each other for several years and feel the time is right to commit. Where do you get the marriage certified ?? [email protected] as well as this site is a good place to reach me. Thanks Paul

[kmart]

First time I got married too, same for my wife. We were already together for 5 years or so before marrying.

It's hel_l, hel_l I TELL YOU! No more freedom, nags about everything, any drink is 'too much alcohol', gets suspicious even over a simple business trip to Pattaya, and even when minding my own biz posting on message boards she often pu

Me too. Nosy little shi

[digitele]

1st & only time. Met in USA. She was a student and working at Motorola. Lived together and slept together for 6 months with

no intimate relations. I was trying to avoid commitment. Her Mom came over from Thailand and did not believe that part.

We were best friends first. She still is by far the best friend I've ever had.

Got married by a justice of the peace for 20.00$ The wedding ring was 28.00$, purchased at Target.

We were very poor students with full time jobs. She is 2 months older then I am.

We will have been married for 27 years in October. Two full grown kids, successful in the USA.

They can read, write and speak Thai at a native level, unlike their lazy father...That's a different story.

Best thing that ever happened to my lucky a$$, I can tell you.

[technocracy]

Not first and not 2nd time either considering she's Lao not Thai!

But my first was a stupid western marriage which occurred out of apathy and other reasons (which I won't go into) on my part. At least I had the sense to refuse to bring any children into the world in what was pretty much a sham of a marriage (that what happens when you marry at 21 and you're really still wet behind the ears!).

But anyway I married my Lao wife 3 years ago after swearing I'd never get married again! Safe to say it's the best decision I've ever made - and love her more than life itself. She has never been married nor had children previous, we are now expecting our first due next Feb - I can't wait!

She is 26 and I am 33.

[lazeeboy]

Not first and not 2nd time either considering she's Lao not Thai!

But my first was a stupid western marriage which occurred out of apathy and other reasons (which I won't go into) on my part. At least I had the sense to refuse to bring any children into the world in what was pretty much a sham of a marriage (that what happens when you marry at 21 and you're really still wet behind the ears!).

But anyway I married my Lao wife 3 years ago after swearing I'd never get married again! Safe to say it's the best decision I've ever made - and love her more than life itself. She has never been married nor had children previous, we are now expecting our first due next Feb - I can't wait!

She is 26 and I am 33.

after marrying once who in there right mind would do it twice

[qwertz]

Once divorced, twice widowed, feeling the weight of my years.

The bashers on here would automatically pigeonhole me as yet another sad, single farang cruising Thailand for cheap sex, I think.

Everyone on this board has a story and a second face that they hide from the public.

Would I marry a Thai?

I think not; it all seems too complicated and troublesome to a man who just wants a quiet life and a stable relationship.

[sukanyacondo]

I don't see why there is such a fascination with marriage. It's pretty old and antiquated by now, what purpose does it serve other than to complicate things?

If you love someone and enjoy their company, stay together. If you don't, split up. It's that simple. The only benefit I see in getting married is that I'd be able to get a long stay visa for Thailand. Wouldn't that be funny, eh? An American marrying a Thai to get a Thai visa!

Anyway, I've been with my girlfriend for nearly two years. I had thought of marriage in the beginning, but now I've decided it's not for me. But then, I'm only 23. I may change my mind in another 20 years.

Believe me when I say many things will change as you get older and many things you hate now you may enjoy and vice versa.

[sukanyacondo]

Its our only marriage, I was 20 she was 22 and I love her more now than I did when I was younger. She is Thai and still looks alot younger than I do. Iam 59 now and we have two children and four grand kids.

For all the skeptics out there you are a good example of what can go right! Sound like a pretty lucky guy to me. Hope you have many more good years together.

Fully agree about the positive example, but not so sure about 'lucky'. A marriage that long is not the result of luck... rather the results of two committed people.

Erm and compatible too I think.

[sukanyacondo]

Ours was about 20,000THB. Not an 'over the top' wedding. As it was 2nd time each, we had things we preferred to spend the $ on. Great turn out for a breakkie wedding - about 200 people on 18 hours notice. Although I always feel 2 hours is far too long for a ceremony of any type.

The blue one I married.

Take her back and swap the orange one's much better!!!! Just kidding

[a2396]

When you married Thai was it you first time or have you been married before and how many times? Thought it might be interesting to see if the majority are going Thai after a bad Western marriage or if their first plunge was Thai. Personally I skipped the whole first marriage thing and waited for the "trophy wife". That way I missed the bitter divorce and alimony drama. Met the wife at 43 and married at 45. Had a great single life and even better married one.

How many years have you been with your "trophy wife"?

[villagefarang]

When you married Thai was it you first time or have you been married before and how many times? Thought it might be interesting to see if the majority are going Thai after a bad Western marriage or if their first plunge was Thai. Personally I skipped the whole first marriage thing and waited for the "trophy wife". That way I missed the bitter divorce and alimony drama. Met the wife at 43 and married at 45. Had a great single life and even better married one.

How many years have you been with your "trophy wife"?

My profile would have told you but it is no secret so I'll tell you here too. I'm 53 now so the math is real easy. The wife just turned 33 last month. Our relationship just keeps getting better with time. If you are really interested and not just messing around there is a lot more on the blog.

[mrbojangles]

Divorced once. First wife English, 10 years younger than me. Had a 5 year relationship with half German/English she was 12 years younger than me. The wife now Thai, is 11 years younger than me. Seem to have found the right middle ground!!

[duchovny]

Plenty of sheilas for gf's in Oz but never married (thank buddha).

Done the usual in SE Asia and never thought i would marry before meeting the right one.

Not married yet but will definitely jump ship next year. We've been together a year and a half.

I'm 40, she's 25.

Met her through a friend. Normal Thai girl with an office job. IMHO it makes quite a difference where you meet a Thai girl. (better not mention anything about drinking establishments and their employees)

[Levent]

I love her death and I know she feels the same.

You might want to rephrase that

[rtaxron]

I think if we are all honest, a Thai GF/Wife is usually a few years or a lot younger than you would expect a Western female to be attracted to yourself.

This of course depends on the Thai girls status regarding responsibility to her Family or wanting to come out of debt or poverty.

If they marry a Farang whom shall we say is 20/25 years older, they would know that they would probably live a lot longer and would assume they would have security, be it life insurance or a few bob in the bank for the rest of their life.

Just a thought?

[rtaxron]

Variations on a theme: Thai women and foreign husbands

By Richard Bernstein The New York Times

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The main road leading through this village of 800 people in Thailand's northeast mostly runs through a scene of rural dishevelment, simple shacks with the ubiquitous rusted corrugated roofs, ragged clumps of banana trees and palms, and, here and there, a simple open-air restaurant or grocery store.

But next to the Ban Cao post office is a sort of anomaly: an imposing iron gate leads to a spacious house with verandas, a sloping tile roof, a garage, a well-tended garden with sculptures and lawns. It is one of several like it in this otherwise nondescript Thai town not far from Udon Thani, which was an American air base during the Vietnam War.

Are these the weekend getaways of Bangkok businessmen who have decided for some reason to build here, not far from the Mekong River and the border with Laos, rather than on some island resort like Phuket or Ko Samui? Not at all.

"Normally in the northeast when you see a big house, you know that this house belongs to a foreigner who has married a Thai woman," Adul Khankeaw, Ban Cao's headman, explained. "And if you go to buy a new motorbike or car and pay cash, the salesman will ask you if you or one of your relatives is married to a foreigner."

Thailand, of course, has always attracted foreign men interested in the local women, not least of course during the Vietnam War when the country was the favored "rest and recreation" destination for tens of thousands of GIs, as well as construction workers, Air America pilots, diplomats and journalists.

And, while the GIs are long gone, this country has, almost ever since the Vietnam War ended, been one of the chief sex tourism capitals of the world. Even a relatively remote place like Udon Thani, which is the local provincial capital, shows the marks of this. "Great Food, Drinks, Pool, Girls" is the way one restaurant advertises its offerings on the official map distributed by the town's hotels.

But what those imposing houses in Ban Cao show is a variation on the theme of Thai women and foreign men. They are the homes of men, mostly middle-aged and older, who have married local women, in many instances former bar girls whom they met in Bangkok or Pattaya, the two major centers of the Thai sex trade, and settled down in retirement in rural Thailand.

Usually an economic consideration has entered into these marriages at the outset. Quite clearly, comely Thai women are marrying European men, often 20 or 30 or even 40 years older than they are, because of the economic advantage of it to them. And for the men, they have companionship, an easy life in a country very cheap by Western standards, and somebody to look after them as they get older.

"At first it wasn't about love but for a better life," acknowledged one woman, Supee, 45 years old, who is married to a retired German named Peter, aged 62. Peter was a tourist in Thailand when they met 21 years ago and, after living in Germany for most of the years since, they moved to Ban Cao, Supee's native village.

"I didn't like him so much at first," another Thai married to a European man said of her husband, a retired French oil engineer named Jean-Claude. She gave her name as Boonyong, and she was working as a waitress in Bangkok (she was not in the sex trade) when Jean-Claude met her on a visit and asked her to live with him.

"I said, 'O.K.,' because I had just lost my father and now I could go home and be with my mother, which is what I wanted," Boonyong said. In Ban Cao alone, out of 180 families, 30 local women have married foreigners. There's a village in Roi Et Province, the Thai press has reported, where 200 women are married to foreigners, the majority of them German and Swiss. There are only 500 families in the entire village.

About 15 percent of all marriages in the northeast, a study published by Khon Kaen University found, are now between Thai women and foreign men. Most of the men are Europeans, but there are upwards of 300 or so Americans, many of them veterans of the Vietnam War who were based in Udon Thani in the 1960s and early 1970s and are living here, most of them with Thai wives as well.

There is a sort of calculated redemption on both sides of these marriages. Many of the women have painful stories, of working as prostitutes, of abandonment by Thai husbands and boyfriends, of children they couldn't afford to take care of. They make no secret of the fact that marrying some nice, older foreign man saved both them and their extended families from poverty and unhappiness.

And as for the men, many of them are divorced or unhappily married back home. They came to Thailand for a brief touristic encounter with the local sex-for-sale industry and ended up staying for life.

"In Vienna you have so many obligations," said a retired Austrian international lawyer who gave his name as Christoph Killy. He has been married for 14 years to a woman from Ban Cao. "There's so much you have to do and so much you aren't allowed to do there. Here you are free."

The truth is that deceit and tragedy, along with happy stories, are part of the picture. Houses and land, by law, have to be owned by Thais, and so there have been cases where Thai wives simply expropriated the properties built for them by their foreign husbands whom they expelled, and then invited their Thai boyfriends to move in with them.

"I've seen terrible things here," Killy said. "Some women are married to Thai men and they tell their foreign boyfriends that they are their brothers. So they sit together and eat together, and the foreigner even buys a motorbike for the Thai 'brother.' "

Still, it's easy to meet what seem like normally happy couples here. According to that university study, marrying a foreigner not so long ago carried a stigma. Now, asked what they want for their daughters, 90 percent of the inhabitants of the Thai northeast replied: "I want for them to marry a foreigner."

[Tony Clifton]

I also observed many young friends getting too seriously involved and then crash while I picked and chose as I pleased for twenty some years.

Once the party was over I got married at 41 and never been happier. A baby is on the way too!

My parents never thought they'd see the day.