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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Hi, There very little you can now do without her consent as she as full tiles to the house, get a leasing agreement from her, this is simple enough any lawyer can do it but it will in Thai so you'll need a translation make sure that a true one,you could get 30 year lease with extention and an agreedment to share profit if you decide to sell at any time, but without her agreement there nothing you can do!!! Good luck

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I think the best you are likely to achieve is sell the property and split the proceeds.

But I see no way that you can force her to do that. The only way forward is to negotiate something with her, she's presumably still staying with you (why?) Either she wants to be with you or there is something else to her advantage.

I'd broach the idea along the lines of 'I'd like us to sell the house so that we can do something else with the money'.

But perhaps it is time to come to terms with the stark choices ahead and prepare to cut your losses now.

Ask her to sell up, and if she refuses, accept its game over.

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 I have ignored probably the most important advice....she was an escort... I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend... Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name
Well, it appears you have a history of ignoring advice.

Is there anything to suggest you will listen to ours?

You married a hooker with 2 kids.

You put a house in her name.

Would you have done that in your home country?

It never ceases to amaze.

And advice?

Yeah! Go back to your home country and start again, a little wiser.

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I have ignored probably the most important advice....she was an escort... I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend... Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name
Well, it appears you have a history of ignoring advice.

Is there anything to suggest you will listen to ours?

You married a hooker with 2 kids.

You put a house in her name.

Would you have done that in your home country?

It never ceases to amaze.

And advice?

Yeah! Go back to your home country and start again, a little wiser.

"2) Posting another members personal details, photos or web site details is forbidden and will result in being banned. Excessive, aggressive posts against other members, moderators and admin; or flaming will not be tolerated. 'Flaming' is best defined as posting or responding to a message in a way clearly intended to incite useless arguments, rants, and/or for launching personal attacks, insulting, being hateful, useless criticism, name calling, swearing and other bad behavior or comments meant to incite anger."

Let's keep things civil, please.

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I think it depends on several factors:

- how old is she

- does she want stability for the kids

- how much is the house worth

- how much will you contribute to the relationship over the next years.

- was she playing you for a total mug or does she like you.

From a practical viewpoint, if the house is worth around 3 million Baht (say) and she is no longer with you, then she has a house worth 3 million Baht and that is it.

She will then have just the income from whatever sources she derives income from. Prostitution can provide a reasonable income while you are young, but not so good as you get older.

So if you are quite wealthy then you have the leverage of the money you will provide in the future to give her and her kids a stable lifestyle.

So I would say to her that you are a bit concerned about your future and would like to have a 30 years lease put on the house. If she flatly refuses, then try cutting the money you put into the relationship to an absolute minimum so she sees what life will be like without your regular income.

To be honest it then depends on the last point above, was she playing you for a complete mug! If not then this may work.

The trouble is, if you do divorce, then she may be entitled to maintenance as well.

Good Luck mate, we have all done some dumb things in our life - lets hope this can be sorted out.

edit: whatever you do dont buy any more furniture, nor car, nor motorbike, nor etc... spend no more money thanyou have to until you are sure - its easy enough to make up excuses to avoid those costs at least

Edited by dsfbrit
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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Governor,

No one can judge your situation better than you. The choice is to get her to agree to sign a lease agreement of 30 years under the pretext of wanting to get a loan from a bank to start a business or to have her to mortgage the property for your bank loan. Naturally the 30 year lease is the best and suffer 1% registration fee on the total rental, (the lowest amount as acceptable to the authority). The disadvantage of this choice is to see her true colour sooner. Alternatively, to keep quiet and hope that she still cares for your well-being and will not kick you out. This alternative may work if you two do still have sweet moments.

This is like a poker game in which you alone has the better inkling of her feeling towards you. I am somewhat surprise of her coolness even when in UK. I would have thought that having the house under her name would have pleased her rather than being immediately ungrateful. Are you sure that there are not other things that you could have crossed her? Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck in resolving this fear.

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If you have registered the house in her name it belong to your wife. You suggest getting its transferred into your name. Why on earth would she give you a house for nothing?

I think that your wife urgently need to get a lawyer before you she agrees to anything that is against her interests

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"RusticCharm" The OP knows he has possibly been a mug he asked for advice not abuse - if all have to offer is the tripe you submitted can I suggest you voluntarily remove the Right of REPLY BUTTON from your Favourites (sic)

OP silly boy but considering she (the lady in question) may react adversely I would try the 30 year lease road using the explanation that with a lease you have to commit X baht per month as rent (lease fee) to her as the registered owner of the home. This may sound a bit more rosy than lets sell and buy elswhere.

Legally you have to show you pay X bahy per month - this of course could be classed by you in the state of marrital bliss as housekeeping hence you will not be contributing twice - maybe it's not quite what they say the monthly leasing fee is meant for but it is income and it's fair for both parties to contribute to the family budget.

Only trying to offer food for thought. IF THIS DOESN'T WORK AND THERE HAS TO BE A NEXT TIME REMEMBER ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY - or as a good friend of mine used to quote when questioned about another bout of marriage - IF YOU PLACED YOUR LEG INTO A CAGE WHICH HOUSED A PREVIOUSLY LOVING DOG - NOW TURNEDLEG WILD TO THE EXTENT OF STRIPPING OFF ALL OF THE FLESH (read good,chattels & money) WOULD YOU BE DAFT (STUPID) ENOUGH TO PUT THE OTHER LEG IN?? :o

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If you have registered the house in her name it belong to your wife. You suggest getting its transferred into your name. Why on earth would she give you a house for nothing?

I think that your wife urgently need to get a lawyer before you she agrees to anything that is against her interests

A bit off topic but in my opinion you "jbaldwin" have a strange outlook on life. :o

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If you have registered the house in her name it belong to your wife. You suggest getting its transferred into your name. Why on earth would she give you a house for nothing?

I think that your wife urgently need to get a lawyer before you she agrees to anything that is against her interests

A bit off topic but in my opinion you "jbaldwin" have a strange outlook on life. :D

Yes, where is this guy coming from.  sounds like he is defending the wife - lost it or what :o

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I would scrap the lease idea and get a usufruct. In that way if your marriage breaks down you do not have to share the huse with her if you wish not to. I would tell her that your visa is contingent on showing clear long term residency or something like that. I would attempt to reach Sunbelt by phone if emails have not worked. I think they may be able to help you, but it's a tough one. Good Luck.

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Dont let her know your plans here, tell her you want to sell to buy a bigger house,.play happy familes all the way, do not let her get wind ,greed will hopefully prevail here and she will think shes on a bonus, as soon as the house is sold get control of the money and tell her you have changed your mind as things havent been good between you and get ready for the fireworks !, you have to be ruthless here or you will lose the lot !
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find a nearby 20 or 30 million property (assuming this is more than yours)

go to look at it a few times - luckily you have had a massive windfall and you want to move up in the world - need to sell the one that you are in 1st etc etc

pay the 100k deposit, small amount to loose if you get the rest of your money back

don't be such a mug again - think with your head not your...............

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Governor,

My sympathies to you. I can't think of anything you can do, be it 30-year lease or "usufruct", that doesn't require the cooperation of your wife. I'm not going to say you're a fool because I put myself in the same position - the property was registered solely to my wife. We have, however, subsequently signed a 30-year lease, which I wanted not because of any doubts about our relationship, but to protect me if anything happens to her. God bless her, she's gone through with that quite happily, because it's "our house", and we plan to retire there in a couple of years.

You need a lawyer to advise you, but apart from that you can only try to rescue your marriage and persuade your wife perhaps that it's in the interests of her children to concede you some security of tenure in case anything happens to her and they need your continued support.

Good luck

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Governor,

My sympathies to you. I can't think of anything you can do, be it 30-year lease or "usufruct", that doesn't require the cooperation of your wife. I'm not going to say you're a fool because I put myself in the same position - the property was registered solely to my wife. We have, however, subsequently signed a 30-year lease, which I wanted not because of any doubts about our relationship, but to protect me if anything happens to her. God bless her, she's gone through with that quite happily, because it's "our house", and we plan to retire there in a couple of years.

You need a lawyer to advise you, but apart from that you can only try to rescue your marriage and persuade your wife perhaps that it's in the interests of her children to concede you some security of tenure in case anything happens to her and they need your continued support.

Good luck

Hi Govenor,

I would have to agree with Eff1n2ret’s advice and maybe all is not lost, however your concerns regarding her faithfulness will have to be put to rest. If she is involved with someone else and wishes to stay with you then it is because she sees you as a meal ticket or is waiting to pick her time to throw you out.

My very limited understanding of Thai divorce law is that “ALL” your assets ( unless otherwise stated in a pre –nup) are common and should be divided 50/50 in a divorce. This in theory means you get half of the house. Special arrangements have to be made for the children of the marriage. Did you adopt her kids?

If divorce is a likely outcome, start to protect (hide) the assets that you do have control over. Including your pension or any form of income.

I used this lawyer for my marriage pre-nup he is Thai and educated in the UK. His English is good his fees did not break the bank and we were happy with him. He has not represented me in any court case so I do not know what he is like in an adversarial situation.

Narit Direkwattanachai, LLM (Cantab)

Attorney at Law

NARIT & Associates

48/69 Soi Rama IX 43

Suan Luang, Suan Luang

Bangkok 10250, THAILAND

Tel: +66 86 785 0793, +66 2 718 3445

Fax: +66 2 720 1088

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.naritlaw.com

Best of luck and if you do find a good solution maybe you could post it, who knows which of us may get help from it.

Regards,

Foggy Dew.

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Very sorry to hear you had not heard back from us. We are very concerned about client communications.

We checked all the e-mail the past week and don't see anything in reference to your post and Hua Hin. Unless you have changed the city in the post to protect your identity.

Can you please resend your questions to [email protected]

We recommend for your gf to grant you servitude on the land and the house with a registered usufruct and supporting letter. She of course would have to agree to this.

I will send you a pm. as well.

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

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Smartecosse

Great reply, I also thought something along those lines may of been a possibility. JBaldwin, I cant get my head around why you would think the lady has to protect herself, it seems obvious that the she came into this relationship with nothing, and yes she does deserve to get something but not the whole bloody house.

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I would not say you are a "Mug".

You are not the first person who has been in this situation and you certainly won't be the last.

The reality of your sitaution must be very depressing, the problem of airing them on a public forum to find a glimmer of hope also attracts the idiots that post on here that will say som nom na (serves you right), although this hurts your feelings there are many posters who really do feel sorry for you and want to offer their advice...and you have received some good advice here already.

If it was me I would just give her the house and chalk it up to experience, but that all depends on wheather you can afford to do that or not?

However are you absolutley sure that the marriage is rocky? You are bound to have doubts about her faithfullness because of her background...but these may be just thoughts in YOUR head with no substance

She may well be missing everything about Thailand, its not uncommon.My Wife can really only manage about 2 weeks before She starts missing her food and freinds ...and the weather. That may be one reason for her being "Cool" towards you

Good Luck and keep posting ..but be thick skinned in regard to the <deleted> on this forum

TP

PS I think I was born in the building NEXT to the pic in your Avitar!

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I would not say you are a "Mug".

You are not the first person who has been in this situation and you certainly won't be the last.

The reality of your sitaution must be very depressing, the problem of airing them on a public forum to find a glimmer of hope also attracts the idiots that post on here that will say som nom na (serves you right), although this hurts your feelings there are many posters who really do feel sorry for you and want to offer their advice...and you have received some good advice here already.

If it was me I would just give her the house and chalk it up to experience, but that all depends on wheather you can afford to do that or not?

HI,

This has not happened to me personally, but I've been married to the same thai lady for 25 yrs. We had many friends, plus ones I new when I was single and saw this situation before.

I would highly recommend getting a lawyer and thrash out what your options are. I'm assuming you can proved that it was "all" of your funds when you purchased the house, that you would have a good case in a divorce settlement. Go thelegas route, don't play games with her. Believe me, she'll win if you play the games. She probably has friends that did this before, and who knows, maybe this is not the first time for her in this situation...

Good luck, I hate to see decent guys getting ripped off like this.

Jim

However are you absolutley sure that the marriage is rocky? You are bound to have doubts about her faithfullness because of her background...but these may be just thoughts in YOUR head with no substance

She may well be missing everything about Thailand, its not uncommon.My Wife can really only manage about 2 weeks before She starts missing her food and freinds ...and the weather. That may be one reason for her being "Cool" towards you

Good Luck and keep posting ..but be thick skinned in regard to the <deleted> on this forum

TP

PS I think I was born in the building NEXT to the pic in your Avitar!

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Hi Govenor,

I would just like to say i admire you for posting this topic ,it couldnt have been an easy decesion to make im glad you did so otheres can read and learn from this and hopfuly you will get some good sound advice to help you out

thanks again

colino

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We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

Sorry to hear you got shafted.

These girls are not really bad but they hear from their friends that they can screw a farang, and take his life savings and he won't bat an eye. And all this while the original husband looks on.

For the good of those that follow you - kick her right out now and burn the house down or worse. If you think things will get better, you are a mug.

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Very sorry to hear you had not heard back from us. We are very concerned about client communications.

We checked all the e-mail the past week and don't see anything in reference to your post and Hua Hin. Unless you have changed the city in the post to protect your identity.

Can you please resend your questions to [email protected]

We recommend for your gf to grant you servitude on the land and the house with a registered usufruct and supporting letter. She of course would have to agree to this.

I will send you a pm. as well.

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

Whilst I realise the normal proffesional approach of Sunbelt, I have been very dissappointed on the communication from [email protected] on several occasions. I have listings already and each time have wanted to change the listing, my last email several weeks ago is still unanswered. Previously I emailed Greg direct and his response was pretty quick, so the problem must lie lower down the chain of command.

I do notice that many thai business are appaling on answering email, even farang owned business.

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Assuming you are legally married in Thailand you get 50% of the house/land value on divorce, if it comes to that, but you still loose 50%.

I like the idea of pretending to upgrade to a more expensive place as a pretext to sell and get access to the money. This I feel would have a good chance of success if the girl is really playing you for money.

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Get in touch with Sunbelt again, they really are the best people to advise on this.

Thanks.

We have been in touch with the OP. Turns out the e-mail problem was on his end.

Communication is important to us thats why we have 5 full time staff doing nothing but e-mails. Unfortunately with emails its not iron clad communicating with all the filters.

Regards

Greg

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

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Get in touch with Sunbelt again, they really are the best people to advise on this.

Thanks.

We have been in touch with the OP. Turns out the e-mail problem was on his end.

Communication is important to us thats why we have 5 full time staff doing nothing but e-mails. Unfortunately with emails its not iron clad communicating with all the filters.

Regards

Greg

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

Difficult to get good staff Greg isn't it?

I will PM you tomorrow about the problems I have encountered registering a company in CM..through your firm

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