How Do You Keep Your Resolve?

[ThaiPauly]

Thanks for the wise words and support guys.

I nearly DIDN'T make it tonight...but I DID, and now I am going to bed.

I am going on holiday in a few days.......just gonna have to take it a day at a time right?

I can't remember this happening before but I just had this nausea come over me at sundown, it was like I really needed a fix and i did not know where to turn or what to do......it was awful..I knew that JUST ONE drink would fix it...but then it would not have ben one drink. When my Wife came back from the Gym I said we should go out to eat ...err I meant drink really...but She did not fall for it and made me a "nice cup of tea". I am very lucky she does not drink, and very lucky to have her.

I hope I don't feel this way tomorrow. I have absolutley NO energy, I must have fallen asleep twice during the day for an hour or so and then feel like shit when I awake.

Anyway tomorrow will be another day which will bing a new set of challenges

Edited November 15, 2007 by ThaiPauly

[Andiamo]

Kudos to you all who have successfully refrained from drinking and already talking anniversaries etc. Some inspiring stories on here.

Just to add my two cents worth, I find it is far easier NOT to drink in Thailand than it was when I am in the UK.

For me, there was and still is SO much peer pressure TO drink when I return to the UK and meet up with friends or go round to friends for dinner. It seems to become a talking point:-

Friends - "Really you don't drink?"

Me - "No, I don't" (said in a firm voice), "I'll have a cranberry juice/soda with lime etc, etc" (all said with a smile as I try to change the topic....)

But it's like a dog with a bone....

Friends -"Why don't you drink?" PAUSE, "Oh, is it because your partner is Muslim?" (said in almost a whisper....)

(Recognition dawns on their face as they WRONGLY believe I am under the thumb)..

Me - "Nooooo, It's nothing to do with him, I just don't drink, I haven't drank now for almost 4 years"

Friends gasp and exclaim in astonishment - "4 years - WOW"

In the next breath, "Oh go on, just have a cocktail/mojito/glass of wine etc, we only see you once in a blue moon."

I can say no until I am blue in the face.... I swear sometimes it would be easier to have a bl**dy drink!

And, if I start to say actually the reason I don't drink is because I don't like myself when I drink, once I start I find it difficult to stop and I'm worried that I'll become like my father (who has struggled all his life with drink). People don't always understand.

Whereas here in LOS, I find the attitude is far more refreshing, very rarely does anybody question me and because my partner also doesn't drink, it makes it easier for me as we do not frequent the bar/pub scene very often.

To be honest, I absolutely love that my partner has also chosen not to drink (albeit for different reasons) and I totally respect his choice.

Sorry, I have wandered... Best of luck to all and I think this is a great support forum to help each other through the "bad" days.

[sibeymai]

I sometimes wonder at what point in the future I will be posting here regularly. Good to know there is a wealth of knowledge, experience, understanding, support and good advice here. I might need it one day.

Best wishes to all those who have started on their journeys already.

[ThaiPauly]

Kudos to you all who have successfully refrained from drinking and already talking anniversaries etc. Some inspiring stories on here.

Just to add my two cents worth, I find it is far easier NOT to drink in Thailand than it was when I am in the UK.

For me, there was and still is SO much peer pressure TO drink when I return to the UK and meet up with friends or go round to friends for dinner. It seems to become a talking point:-

Friends - "Really you don't drink?"

Me - "No, I don't" (said in a firm voice), "I'll have a cranberry juice/soda with lime etc, etc" (all said with a smile as I try to change the topic....)

But it's like a dog with a bone....

Friends -"Why don't you drink?" PAUSE, "Oh, is it because your partner is Muslim?" (said in almost a whisper....)

(Recognition dawns on their face as they WRONGLY believe I am under the thumb)..

Me - "Nooooo, It's nothing to do with him, I just don't drink, I haven't drank now for almost 4 years"

Friends gasp and exclaim in astonishment - "4 years - WOW"

In the next breath, "Oh go on, just have a cocktail/mojito/glass of wine etc, we only see you once in a blue moon."

I can say no until I am blue in the face.... I swear sometimes it would be easier to have a bl**dy drink!

And, if I start to say actually the reason I don't drink is because I don't like myself when I drink, once I start I find it difficult to stop and I'm worried that I'll become like my father (who has struggled all his life with drink). People don't always understand.

Whereas here in LOS, I find the attitude is far more refreshing, very rarely does anybody question me and because my partner also doesn't drink, it makes it easier for me as we do not frequent the bar/pub scene very often.

To be honest, I absolutely love that my partner has also chosen not to drink (albeit for different reasons) and I totally respect his choice.

Sorry, I have wandered... Best of luck to all and I think this is a great support forum to help each other through the "bad" days.

No no...you have not wandered. Its a good post with relevant points.

It's as if people don't trust people who dont drink ! Lke you if I am gonna take this whole thing seriously this time I have to stay away from alcoholic places.

We have recently offloaded our restaurant and one of the reasons I wanted to get rid of it was that all the cusomers were drinking..so I had to join in.

Now we dont have it I would STILL find any excuse to drink.

Still today will be another beautiful day in LOS and I have to TRY to get through it without a drink.

If anyone is familiar with "The Big Book" there is a story in there about me...there is one about every drunk...I'm the guy who started his business, and vowed not to drink while he built it up...then he sold out, made his packet and died a wealthy alcoholic five years later.

The richest man in the graveyard.

[thaipete]

I am a very heavy drinker. I tend to go on a three day bender but feel so bad I stop drinking for a week or up to a month.

I do not think I am an alcoholic because I can and do stop regularly.

I have had several alcoholic friends who swear by AA and I believe it to be a great organisation that has helped and saved the lives of so many people.

I intend to stop drinking for six months in the new year which I have heard renews most of the liver's degeneration due to alcohol

[garro]

I am a very heavy drinker. I tend to go on a three day bender but feel so bad I stop drinking for a week or up to a month.

I do not think I am an alcoholic because I can and do stop regularly.

I have had several alcoholic friends who swear by AA and I believe it to be a great organisation that has helped and saved the lives of so many people.

I intend to stop drinking for six months in the new year which I have heard renews most of the liver's degeneration due to alcohol

Hi Thaipete, good luck to you with your intended quit.

I found that the only time that I could stop was today.

I would plan to quit on such and such a date but the day would pass and I would still be drinking.

This could be just me though.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to want to stop drinking, but if you think it is a bit of a problem then probably best to stop.

I wish you all the best,

Paul

[Mujjiman]

I have got a pal who is always going to stop drinking, after next weekend , after next holiday.

Being around him helps me moderate my drinking as i dont want to end up like him, he an addict who wont accept he has a problem. I feel sorry for him and am not sure if its a mental issue.

Going out late at night and seeing the state of some people is a good thing to do as you wont have the desire them. City centres in UK are like warzones with people falling about.

Thanks for all the posts real honesty and some very good ways to deal with a tough sitation

[zzdocxx]

Thanks everybody for your inspirational posts. I am a compulsive eater and used to regularly attend Overeaters Anonymous meetings (currently a bit of a backslider). The program is pretty much exactly the same as AA.

I don't know what else to say, I have a constant struggle with it.

Guess I am off topic too but reading this was great.

[garro]

Thanks everybody for your inspirational posts. I am a compulsive eater and used to regularly attend Overeaters Anonymous meetings (currently a bit of a backslider). The program is pretty much exactly the same as AA.

I don't know what else to say, I have a constant struggle with it.

Guess I am off topic too but reading this was great.

You are not off topic at all

[longtom]

I too appreciate all your inspirational posts, wise, constructive and non-sectarian thank you all for that.

Particularly the advice not to fall into the 'I can start drinking moderately again'-trap was extremely helpful for me. After being dry for 1 1/2 years now, I was just one step away from starting again (just a glass of wine with a good meal I thought). Since my obsession before was with whiskey/rum, I believed I could give it a try. Guess I'll postpone that indefinitely now, and will try to find less harmful fluids.

In case people are still following this thread, I have a question:

I am very very much afraid that when something really bad happens in my life (e.g. bad sickness/accident of me or my girlfriend or other family members) I will start drinking again very soon. Any advice on how to deal with that (or prepare for it)? FYI I stopped on my own and don't follow any program.

Thank you all again, you might have prolonged my life considerably!

[garro]

Hi Longtom.

Good to hear that you have kept your resolve.

What if something bad happens?

I know what you are getting at here. In the past I called it my '<deleted> it button'. When something bad happens it is easy to think 'what is the point?'. I suppose the thing to remember is that drinking again makes things so much worse. For example, I remember in the past hijacking relatives' funerals turning them into drunken self-pitying festivals. I was no use to anybody and these memories fill me with shame.

Bad things in life happen to me if I'm drunk or sober. The difference is that when I was drunk it was one bad thing after another. I strongly believe that not drinking automatically improves my life and continues to do so while I remain stopped. I believe that it's getting better all the time in the same way that my drinking was a downward spiral. I would have good days drinking but the general trend was downwards. I think the same happens with recovery.

When I was drinking I couldn't always see the downward spiral because it happened slowly. It was only when looking back over a long period that it was obvious. The same is true now. I might not see my life getting better, but when I think back to where I came from it is obvious.

If something bad happens in life I tell myself that it is only temporary. Nothing is forever and 'the tide always comes back'. I also remind myself that drinking only sounds like a good idea at the time. Even during the worst of my drinking I never looked back and thought, 'I wish that I was drunk yesterday'.

It is important for me to remember exactly what my drinking life was about. It is easy to fall in the trap of romanticizing it or downplaying it.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

Paul

Edited February 25, 2008 by garro

[longtom]

Thank you Garro/Paul, and I seriously hope in times of distress I'll be able to heed your advice and see the impermanence of suffering and not think 'my situation is so bad I don't give a f%$k whether I start drinking again'. Of course I feel very ashamed about my past behaviour in many (actually most) situations, but I fear these memories will fade after a specifically negative event. Guess I have to start meditating again to avoid that.

Forgive my bumpy english - cheers

Longtom

[padfoot]

I have been sober for almost 14 years and my life is much better. I go to AA. It is what works for me. If I was still drinking, I would never be making trips to Thailand and be considering retiring there. One thing about AA, you need to go to several meetings before making a judgment about if it's for you or not. For all those trying to stop drinking, I wish you the best. It was the the best thing I have ever done in my life.

[totlanh]

Well,

Im afraid to say i well and truly fuc_ked up!!!I started drinking again in January once i arrived in Vietnam.It was a conscious decission and i thought i could handle it.Well,believe me,i deluded myself into thinking that i could for 4 months,but in reality i lost control off my drinking from my very first drink.The speed of which i spirralled out of control was alarming.Sure,i had a good time for a while but then the problems i had when i drunk all started to rear their ugly heads.Instead of living for my family i was once again living for alcohol.This obviously caused many problems and my wife nearly left me.I am now back home again since July but because of my drinking(i think)i am in a very depressed and anxious state.I have stopped again and have been sober for 6 weeks but am finding it difficult.I deeply regret starting again infact i would go as far as saying it probably was the biggest mistake of my life thus far.So tp conclude if anyone who has been dry for a period pf time and think they can handle it again i would advise you no to tread that path,Alcohol for many is the road to ruination.

[mgjackson69]

It has been 4 months (by date, since 11 April), or 17 weeks, 4 days (counting days) since I had alcohol.

When I stopped, I did not tell myself or anyone else that it was for a week, a month, a year, or forever. I just told myself it was time to take a break, after dodging a bullet the size of a Mack truck, and being a moderate to heavy drinker for 30 years.

I do not find myself thinking about alcohol much. I can be around people who are drinking with no problem. My wife has a drink now and then, there is alcohol in the house. It does not bother me.

Could I take a drink now and not have a problem? I honestly do not know...perhaps.

But I like being able to tell myself that 1 have been "without" for however long...I do not want to reset the counter back to zero.

I ginned up a quick-n-dirty Excel sheet that looks like so:

Today's Date

Tuesday 12 August 2008............(from system clock)

Start Date

Friday 11 April 2008...................hardcoded

Time Elapsed

123 days...................................formula calculates the difference between the dates

17 weeks 4 days.......................same as above, but breaks out the number of weeks

When my computer is running, this sheet is open.

Is this a gimmick? Maybe so, but it works for me.

I am sure that a person could find any number of Windows apps that would show something like this on the desktop.

I am not one for meetings, but I am not going to belittle anyone else...hey, whatever works for *you*. After all, nobody can fix this for us, it is up to each individual. Yes, others can help, but ultimately we have to do it for ourselves.

Good luck...that is about the most inspiration that I can muster.

Edit: my start dates did not match...11 April is the last drink date

Edited August 12, 2008 by mgjackson69

[bangkokrick]

I have read all the posts with great interest and i wish the ones that want to give up drinking all the best for the future.

I would like to ask one question though what are/were you guys drinking. I have never met a beer alcoholic but i have met many people that have a problem with spirits. I tend to think of drinking beer as a social event that may become habitual as its obviously good fun. I tend to think that people that drink strong spirits will have a greater problem especially if they drink alone.

Cheers, Rick.

[eek]

Good Iuck to aII in their own personaI journeys in this (sorry if that sounds cIiched!).

As for me, im gIad to say that i dont feeI the same urges I did when i wrote this thread. In the end i didnt go to AA (i found the one time that i went aIong too intimidating for me and sat and Iistened rather than participated. Even had one guy aggressively questioning the vaIidy of who was reaI drunks or not, and who reaIIy shouId be there, which i thought was pretty fuII on. Guess he just wanted to go off on a rant? But not sure why. I guess other AA's probabIy wouId have been different, but Im pretty quiet and i found it just wasnt for me).

Im not sure when I stopped craving, because i can honestIy say i dont crave a drink anymore, at Ieast at this time and for many months. I guess it was probabIy when i was abIe to come to terms emotionaIIy with some "issues" i had. Once i worked through those, step by step, and not easiIy, i reaIised i didnt reaIIy need a 'crutch' in the form of aIcohoI.

Iongtom, i too worried how i wouId handIe a distressing time, but i reaIise now that i can work through my probIems by rationaI thought (aIthough im not sure of course 100% how strong i wiII be in the face of something big that might happen, but i have faith in my strength now). AIso, as corny as it sounds, I find that meditation has heIped me aIso. I face my probIems with some rationaI thought, working through them as best i can, and then, when i want peace from thinking too much and want to Iet it go, i do awareness meditation techniques. Im not suggesting it is a soIution or offering it as one, but it has worked for me, at Ieast so far so good.

[eek]

I would like to ask one question though what are/were you guys drinking.

Vodka mainIy.

[eek]

Well,

Im afraid to say i well and truly fuc_ked up!!!I started drinking again in January once i arrived in Vietnam.It was a conscious decission and i thought i could handle it.Well,believe me,i deluded myself into thinking that i could for 4 months,but in reality i lost control off my drinking from my very first drink.The speed of which i spirralled out of control was alarming.Sure,i had a good time for a while but then the problems i had when i drunk all started to rear their ugly heads.Instead of living for my family i was once again living for alcohol.This obviously caused many problems and my wife nearly left me.I am now back home again since July but because of my drinking(i think)i am in a very depressed and anxious state.I have stopped again and have been sober for 6 weeks but am finding it difficult.I deeply regret starting again infact i would go as far as saying it probably was the biggest mistake of my life thus far.So tp conclude if anyone who has been dry for a period pf time and think they can handle it again i would advise you no to tread that path,Alcohol for many is the road to ruination.

totIanh, dont berate yourseIf over it, and thank you for the words of caution. Instead congratulate yourseIf in recognising the probIem and that you have now been 6 weeks sober. I dont mean this to sound Iike a Iame pep-taIk, I am geniuneIy gIad for you that you are back on track. Best of Iuck and hope you start feeIing emotionaIIy better soon.

[bangkokrick]

I would like to ask one question though what are/were you guys drinking.

Vodka mainIy.

Thanks for the answer Eek and good luck with your quest. I will stick with the beer from now on.

Cheers, Rick

[garro]

Well,

Im afraid to say i well and truly fuc_ked up!!!I started drinking again in January once i arrived in Vietnam.It was a conscious decission and i thought i could handle it.Well,believe me,i deluded myself into thinking that i could for 4 months,but in reality i lost control off my drinking from my very first drink.The speed of which i spirralled out of control was alarming.Sure,i had a good time for a while but then the problems i had when i drunk all started to rear their ugly heads.Instead of living for my family i was once again living for alcohol.This obviously caused many problems and my wife nearly left me.I am now back home again since July but because of my drinking(i think)i am in a very depressed and anxious state.I have stopped again and have been sober for 6 weeks but am finding it difficult.I deeply regret starting again infact i would go as far as saying it probably was the biggest mistake of my life thus far.So tp conclude if anyone who has been dry for a period pf time and think they can handle it again i would advise you no to tread that path,Alcohol for many is the road to ruination.

Totlanh, what's done is done but please don't turn a wrong turn into a trip to the gutter.

I remember drinking after 2 years and how much it messed up my life. I had made new friends and they were amazed at the change in me, once drinking, and quickly moved out of my life. I didn't notice of course. I managed to go a few months thinking that this time my drinking was different. It wasn't but it took me years to stop again. Waisted years where I was miserable and worst of all I was the cause of my own misery.

It is great that you have stopped again. If you stay stopped then this can be a valuable lesson which can streghten your sobriety. I do not believe that relapse is 'a normal part of recovery' but I know that sometimes we can definitely learn from them. I wish you all the best mate.

[totlanh]

Eek and Garro,

Thanks for your kind words.The problem i have now though is i really have lost my motivation and am struggling

[garro]

Eek and Garro,

Thanks for your kind words.The problem i have now though is i really have lost my motivation and am struggling

I remember thinking that maybe if I wait the conditions will be right to stop again -my motivation will return. The problem is though that there is no guarantee that the right conditions will ever return. You have been sober a very long time and it is easy to lose sight of the benefits.

I personally don't care about 'isms' and just see myself as a reformed drunk, but I do know that over any period of time that I drink alcohol my life deteriorates. Addiction has never improved my life and if I take alcohol I quickly exhibit signs of addiction.

Sobriety can sometimes seem like I am just plodding along, but this is far better than the alternative. Sobriety for me is at its best when I am open to the magic in life. A sober life can be very magical, but it is easy to lose touch with that. I have found that when I'm sober anything can happen, but if I drink then I know what will happen - especially in regards to the long term.

I don't know what to say to you Tollah, I remember the urge to drink very well and what I call the 'fuc_k it' button. Addiction messes up my mind so much. I couldn't remember my two years sober after a few months back drinking. I couldn't remember what I did with my time sober. Wired. This led me to believe that it must have been boring as hel_l, but that was just denial. It can sometimes feel like relapse is inevitable and when there you can say to yourself 'I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb'. This is poison to my mind.

I really wish you the best no matter what you decide to do.

Edited August 13, 2008 by garro

[kolasaab]

HI i can see that some of you are struggling so i thought i would put my 2 pennies worth ln. 12 years ago my life was a complete mess due to many years of alcohol and drug abuse and if i didnt do somthing, i would either be dead or end up in prison for a very long time and i decided that i had HAD ENOUGH!!! I had been to few aa meetings in the past and instead of listening to the similarities, i listened to the differances and went away thinking , well, none of what some those aa people have said has happened to me,so i am not an alcoholic and anyway, those aa people are some kind of cult, so i carried on drinking for about another 5 years. Things got worse and worse. Eventually i thought, ive HAD ENOUGH of all this sh-t ,I NEED HELP, so i went into rehab and started to WORK THE TWELVE STEP PROGRAM.At first it was very painful and people were telling me, alcohol and drugs are just a symptom of this illness and i needed to address what was going on deepdown and i need to work this program so that it becomes part of me. They also said if i did what was suggested , i would very slowly get better. Guess wot!! they were right!!!and its the best thing i ever did. About a year after leaving rehab they offered me a job and for the last 11 years i have been giving back to others what was freely given to me. My life today is good, i have ups and downs like anyone else, but i use THE TWELVE STEPS to deal with any problems that come up. So i say to you HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH AND ARE YOU WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO GET SOBER???? and when i say sober, i dont just mean stop drinking, i mean STOP DRINKING AND HAVE A HAPPY CONTENTED LIFE!!! also its not just meetings that keep you sober ITS WHAT YOU DO IN BETWEEN!!! I have not had an urge to drink for twelve years a day at time and if it can work for me, it will work for you. thanks

[philo]

I would like to ask one question though what are/were you guys drinking.

Vodka mainIy.

Thanks for the answer Eek and good luck with your quest. I will stick with the beer from now on.

Cheers, Rick

I will guote myself from another thread (this one is much more relevant, but I didn't know when posting):

''

Today I managed to wait until 11.30 AM+ before taking the first beer (because my wife has forced me to get a health check up). For me, a record for may be two years.

At the ultrasound they said there was changes to the liver (but not permanent, unreversible ones). Two cysts 0.7 cm and 1.0 cm (but this was common (?)), and a general accumulation of fat (?) in the liver that could be the effect of drinking. Cholestorol was high, and I have a liver infection that makes me shiver and cold sweat (but no fewer) during the the night. Need to eat antibiotic pills (if I puke them out, have to get injections at the hospital).

I also have hepatitis, and as I understood the doctor: Hep b already antibodies (have had?), Hep c no antibodies (= no have); so the hepatitis is coming from drinking.

Today only drinking from 11.30 AM till 6PM, so araound 7 big beer Leo.

''

This is the result of around 10 years of binge partying and may be 15 years of drinking (alone) for the sake of drinking. But only BEER and REDWINE.

Stick to beer, but if you consume too much too often, it will get you ...

[Livinginexile]

I have,nt had a drink for 4 years 8 months.I stopped drinking myself and never have attended AA.Recently though i have really been thinking a lot about drink and missing it.This in turn has made me feel bitter as i feel like im being deprived and am beginning to wonder if i could drink again.I never did try to cut down and im wondering of i could drink now sensibly.I gave up once before for 9 months as well so i know i can stop......

Hi totlanh,

I congratulate you on your almost five years of sobriety.

You should be proud of your achievement.

I remember drinking again after two years in AA.

I was during my first year in university, and I felt really angry with being left out of the fun around me.

I started again and for a few months it felt like I had some control.

It took me nearly a decade to stop again, and during that time I did quite a bit of damage to my liver.

The problem, for me at least, is that if I pick up again I have no idea if or when I will stop.

I doubt very much that I could stop again to be honest.

I have been given two chances already and I doubt if there are many more for me in this life.

I didn't use AA or any other support group this time to stay sober.

It is coming up to eighteen months for me.

I got sober in a Thai temple and when I left it was my conviction that my former addiction had been removed.

I can't tell you what will happen to you if you drink again.

I do really hope you think very carefully about it.

I really hope you stay sober.

Best wishes

Paul

I started drinking again 3 years ago after 3 years sober.

Three years of hel_l, many many times I've tried to stop and going back to AA.

I can't seem to string more than a few days together.

It's got really bad, for the life of me I don't know how my wife can stay with her. It pains me so much knowing I am putting her and our son through this nightmare.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, if you start drinking again you will find yourself on a fast track to a living nightmare.

I am sober tonight. I am shaking like a leaf and my wife is trying her best to help. I feal an overwhelming fear creeping over me and I know it's going to get a lot worst. The only thing I want right now is another drink.

But I won't, besides the bottle shops are all closed now and I have nothing stashed away.

This disease is particulaly strong in me. I am off to a meeting tomorrow if I can last that long.

All the best guys. I have been inspired tonight reading through this forum, especially the "100 good things being sober" thread.

[StreetCowboy]

....Snip....

I started drinking again 3 years ago after 3 years sober.

Three years of hel_l, many many times I've tried to stop and going back to AA.

I can't seem to string more than a few days together.

It's got really bad, for the life of me I don't know how my wife can stay with her. It pains me so much knowing I am putting her and our son through this nightmare.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, if you start drinking again you will find yourself on a fast track to a living nightmare.

I am sober tonight. I am shaking like a leaf and my wife is trying her best to help. I feal an overwhelming fear creeping over me and I know it's going to get a lot worst. The only thing I want right now is another drink.

But I won't, besides the bottle shops are all closed now and I have nothing stashed away.

This disease is particulaly strong in me. I am off to a meeting tomorrow if I can last that long.

All the best guys. I have been inspired tonight reading through this forum, especially the "100 good things being sober" thread.

I've been going to AA meetings for over a year now, and the longest I've managed to string together is 30 days without a drink. But I reckon if I can make it six sober nights a week instead of three, that is a big improvement...if I can stop drinking on school nights...

WHat I have done is stop ALL sensible drinking; if I go to the pub with colleagues, I'll drink soft drinks. I don;'t buy beer in seven-eleven. I'm trying to condition myself so that I don't drink as a matter of routine. And keep trying to stretch the dry spells...

SC

[philo]

Well guys,

This alkie has 30 days off the piss today. Who would have believed it!

Body improving rapidly - but brain seriously fuc#ked up. Have appointment with the psychiatrist today.

Two AA meetings pr. day.

Children gone, money gone, house gone (bless wife for unknowingly giving me this chance). But I still have water, food, shelter, clothes, passport and pocketmoney.

Most important though, I have a chance to hang around for a while longer exploring life before I change my address to the graveyard.

And in the end - it must be better for them to have a father that is absent than one that is dead.

[moe666]

Good luck to each of you it is a hard road. I was a heavy drinker, caused the loss of wife but I look at it as the best day of my life. It was a long hard struggle but I got to know myself with a lot of inner reflection and oberservation. I tried AA once but it wasn't for me.

Each of us is different and what works for one will not work for another, but there is something for you and it will help.

Godd luck.

[eek]

Best of luck to you all. philo, well done and keep strong. I think its a great idea that you are going for help..but i personally think psychology helps more than psychiatry. But thats just my take. If you dont gel well with the Psychiatrist, try another, or something else, but dont give up trying. I think its important to have someone to talk to and not be afraid to spill out any crap thats going on in your head. For some people AA is great for that (however, i tried AA a couple of times and it wasnt the right way for me). I thought alcohol was my miracle cure for underlying things i didnt want to deal with. Finding an alternative way to address and deal with those issues is what has given me strength enough to not want to use drink as a crutch. But, of course, everyone has different reasons and experiences. At one point i honestly thought i wouldnt miss a drink again..but to be honest at times the feeling has crept up on me. Usually if im feeling overwhelmed about something. I guess im still a bit of what is termed a "dry drunk"? Im not sure. But, the feeling rarely lasts more than a day, if that. Its less and less. The biggest factor is realising how far ive come, and how much i dont want to go back to where i was before.