Life For Single Girls In Thailand

[girlx]

i have lived alone for a couple of years in thailand, and i love it. i do have some problems occasionally. most of those are related to the errant view that western girls are all up for it. a lot of thai men really seem to believe this as 1) they get a lot of their influence from porn, and 2) a lot of western girls on holiday really are up for it. thus i find it difficult to maintain friendships with thai men unless they are married and i am friends with their wife too (unfortunate because in the US pretty much all of my good friends are male). i also really have to watch how i dress. there are loads of stupid tourist girls wandering around the village in just their bikini (and the men are all too happy to smile and flirt with them while insulting them behind their back) but i always cover up and don't wear anything too short or revealing. you also have to be very direct with the guys if they are after you. they do take no for an answer for the most part. i have even had (2) guys break into my house in the middle of the night thinking i wanted to sleep with them. i told them both no and to go away, and they did, politely! thais also see a woman alone as something being wrong. they don't understand why you don't live with your family, why you aren't married. i just ignore all that, not their business. i have found though, that if you try to keep totally to yourself that creates a problem too. thais are easily insulted if you don't smile at them, or more importantly, patronize their business occasionally. i agree you really need westerners to talk to- i would go totally crazy without them. i love the thais but have not made one thai friend yet that i really trust or feel i can talk completely honestly to. unfortunately after years of being here i can still feel that "us vs. them" mentality. it is worse in a small isolated village where people are entrenched in outdated traditional mindsets about a woman's place and about foreigners. i also think it is helpful to develop relationships with a few influential thais. they may be able to translate things for you, help you to find a good doctor, catch snakes in your house, etc. most girls latch on to a thai boyfriend for this, but i would hold off on that until you understand the place better. also as someone said, take your time if you do want a thai man. as hot as the beach boys might be, they are generally the worst of the lot. it is more likely you will have a successful relationship if you find someone educated, who can stand on his own financially, and who hasn't had a long history of flings with farang girls.

[Lancashirelad]

Canadiangirl, i think you will have a great time in LOS. Good advice i think has been given already and particularly so to make a fellow western girl friend.

It is quite obvious from your writings you are sensible & educated, however i was rather shocked & hurt by your statement:

I'm hoping I might have a bit of an edge with employers as a woman, not being a sexpat moving here for the bar scene.

I am seriously considering moving to Thailand within the next 18 months....... and Pattaya at that!

(because i have English & Thai friends there)

I'm 48 & single & most certainly would not like to be considerd a "sexpat".

I'm no angel, but i'm also passionate about Thailand, its beautiful scenery, many interesting places, its history, culture & its lovely people. The friendly girls are, to use a word another poster used to decribe her marriage, just a happy addendum.

It seems you are tarring all single male expats with the same brush. Grossly unfair i think.

I note that elsewhere in the thread someone else's derogatory comments were deleted.

On a side note, Girlx i'm intrigued as to why vacationing western girls would be wandering around a small isolated village in a bikini? Pattaya beach maybe, but a small isolated village??

[November Rain]

On a side note, Girlx i'm intrigued as to why vacationing western girls would be wandering around a small isolated village in a bikini? Pattaya beach maybe, but a small isolated village??

Because they either have no shame, or no regard for Thai culture & morals, or they just don't give a d@mn about the 2 things I mentioned first, would be my guess.

This is one of my pet hates about farang tourists as well. I live in a beach town & have even seen a couple of middle-aged women walking around the grounds of a Wat in barely covered bikinis (one had a shirt over hers, so you could see the pants & her legs, the other had shorts on so you could see her stomach & the bikini top). The tourists (some, not all, thank goodness!) walk around town in bikinis fairly often. And this is the town where HM the King spends a lot of his time. So disrespectful!

A farang guy I know actually told me a story of when he went exploring some of the Northern hill villages with a know-it-all farang female companion. Seemingly, she wore her bikini & shorts nearly all the time in these remote villages. Some of these people had never seen a farang woman before, and this is the impression she gave! She was told by the guy it was offensive & carried on anyway, because it was "so hot". She did take it off when it needed to be washed - then, according to him, she hung it from her backpack so it could dry.

Sorry, CG - that was

[Jet Gorgon]

insulting posts have been deleted.

Gentlemen, if you can't abide by the forum rules pinned at the top of the Ladies forum then please do not post here. Further such insulting posts will result in warnings or suspensions.

I wish you could leave these posts in Sbk, so a) we know who the wonkers are, and so we can administer a bit of torture before we throw them over to the mods. You know how I love to hiss and dig in my talons. (I know, I've been warned about my actions before, but I get so much satisfaction driving my stilettos into gits.)

[girlx]

Girlx i'm intrigued as to why vacationing western girls would be wandering around a small isolated village in a bikini? Pattaya beach maybe, but a small isolated village??

as November Rain says, they just have no respect for the culture. It's not like every guidebook doesn't say "cover up".

[sbk]

Girlx i'm intrigued as to why vacationing western girls would be wandering around a small isolated village in a bikini? Pattaya beach maybe, but a small isolated village??

as November Rain says, they just have no respect for the culture. It's not like every guidebook doesn't say "cover up".

TNP is hardly a small isolated village, it has been a major tourist destination on Koh Phangan for years now and has a couple of really large, expensive resorts. The locals are certainly used to seeing the bikini clad girls, but still enjoy the leer, just as many farang guys do.

That said, it is still disrespectful to go into town wearing only a bikini. But, many do it and in a tourist location most people are just grateful they have some clothes on.

[eek]

I once saw two girls walking around just outside one of the less visited Wats in Bangkok dressed in bikini tops and short denim skirts. They were beautiful and received a lot of full on leering. I think they liked it. I thought it was insane. Everyone around them was fully dressed, some in smart work clothes, not one person in beach attire other than them. No wonder some Asians are a bit confused by us.

Sorry..off topic.

[canadiangirl]

Canadiangirl, i think you will have a great time in LOS. Good advice i think has been given already and particularly so to make a fellow western girl friend.

Thanks Lacashirelad!

It is quite obvious from your writings you are sensible & educated, however i was rather shocked & hurt by your statement:

I'm hoping I might have a bit of an edge with employers as a woman, not being a sexpat moving here for the bar scene.

I am seriously considering moving to Thailand within the next 18 months....... and Pattaya at that!

(because i have English & Thai friends there)

I'm 48 & single & most certainly would not like to be considerd a "sexpat".

It seems you are tarring all single male expats with the same brush. Grossly unfair i think.

I note that elsewhere in the thread someone else's derogatory comments were deleted.

I'm sorry if you felt hurt by my remark. At the same time, I'm rather puzzled as to why you feel hurt by it, if you're not a sexpat. I wasn't even stating my own opinion about sexpats, just commenting that it can't hurt, when interviewing in the current political climate, to not look like the next John Mark Karr.

Of course people move to Thailand for all kinds of reasons. But surely you must recognize that the sexpats exists in Thailand, whether or not you personally are one? Would you disagree that a lot of the people who give foreigners a bad name in Thailand come from that group, whether or not all of them are worthy of the reputation?

Edited July 8, 2007 by canadiangirl

[girlx]

TNP is hardly a small isolated village, it has been a major tourist destination on Koh Phangan for years now and has a couple of really large, expensive resorts. The locals are certainly used to seeing the bikini clad girls, but still enjoy the leer, just as many farang guys do.

it is a small isolated village, but not maybe in the same sense as one in backwoods isaan. believe me, the locals have a very small minded and traditional view despite all the foreigners coming for the past decade. they are not shocked to see it but they are offended to see it, except perhaps the beach boys, who like to look and then snicker "hee men" (i am convinced that the way farang girls behave here is the reason behind a lot of them seeming to hate women, but that's a whole nother discussion). if a farang girl does not want to be objectified or looked down on in thai culture, or have other farang girls treated badly by presumptions she herself might be helping thais to make, she should respect the fact that modesty in thai culture is of greater importance even than (lack of) promiscuity.

[canadiangirl]

Girlx i'm intrigued as to why vacationing western girls would be wandering around a small isolated village in a bikini? Pattaya beach maybe, but a small isolated village??

as November Rain says, they just have no respect for the culture. It's not like every guidebook doesn't say "cover up"

Yeah, I was rather shocked to see women walking around in bikinis in the middle of Laos, which is even less used to tourism than Thailand is. I don't like seeing it, as it feels like a giant "###### you" to all the locals, and doesn't do much to counter the stereotype of Western women as easy sluts. Heck, maybe I am an easy slut by Laos standards, but I'll at least slap on some jeans and t-shirt when out in public.

[canadiangirl]

TNP is hardly a small isolated village, it has been a major tourist destination on Koh Phangan for years now and has a couple of really large, expensive resorts. The locals are certainly used to seeing the bikini clad girls, but still enjoy the leer, just as many farang guys do.

it is a small isolated village, but not maybe in the same sense as one in backwoods isaan. believe me, the locals have a very small minded and traditional view despite all the foreigners coming for the past decade. they are not shocked to see it but they are offended to see it, except perhaps the beach boys, who like to look and then snicker "hee men" (i am convinced that the way farang girls behave here is the reason behind a lot of them seeming to hate women, but that's a whole nother discussion). if a farang girl does not want to be objectified or looked down on in thai culture, or have other farang girls treated badly by presumptions she herself might be helping thais to make, she should respect the fact that modesty in thai culture is of greater importance even than (lack of) promiscuity.

I agree completely with you about modesty.

I am curious about your comment that many of the beach boys seem to hate women. I haven't had a lot of contact with beach boys, in my limited time on the islands, I only saw one or two that were hooking up with white girls -- I didn't realize it was such a phenomenon until reading about it on TV. Do they have this attitude that some guys seem to take, where they both view women with contempt, but also want to ###### them? Or just a general disrespect?

I saw an attitude like when walking around the Arab district on Suk, where there are many Thai prostitutes catering to Arab men. I was sort of dumbstruck by the look in the men's eyes there, like so much more extreme than anything I had ever seen before -- this mixture of both hating you, and wanting to f* you -- it was really creepy. Pretty much most Thai men I met in Bangkok were respectful to me, and I've of course encountered creepy men at home, but this was really disturbing. I ate my hummus and pita bread and got out of there!

Edited July 8, 2007 by canadiangirl

[canadiangirl]

i have lived alone for a couple of years in thailand, and i love it. i do have some problems occasionally. most of those are related to the errant view that western girls are all up for it. a lot of thai men really seem to believe this as 1) they get a lot of their influence from porn, and 2) a lot of western girls on holiday really are up for it. thus i find it difficult to maintain friendships with thai men unless they are married and i am friends with their wife too (unfortunate because in the US pretty much all of my good friends are male).

Thanks girlx! I deleted a lot of your original post for brevity's sake, but all of it contained exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for! I'm also a girl who tends to have mostly male friends at home, so it's good to know your advice about making friends with Thai men.

[girlx]

I am curious about your comment that many of the beach boys seem to hate women. I haven't had a lot of contact with beach boys, in my limited time on the islands, I only saw one or two that were hooking up with white girls

hmm well i guess i shouldn't say they hate women, though, er-

this mixture of both hating you, and wanting to f* you

yeah that can be about right. but that is if you present yourself as just another stupid farang girl on holiday to have a fling. you can't blame the boys, loads of easy young girls come here and fall in "love", stay just long enough to start to get to know a guy, promise him everything, then go home and never come back. it's heartbreaking the first time, by the 10th or 11th they become hard mo-fos. i have gotten to know a couple of them and if you present yourself as someone who is true to yourself and them (not fake), smart about the culture (in the way you dress, how much money you throw around, etc.), and respectful, you will be seen as a good girl and usually treated as such. unfortunately girls here are on their worst behavior sometimes.

[noctiluca]

Hi,

I hope it's ok for me to chime in. I'm a guy, a Thai and also gay.

I don't post here that often, but I like reading here as often as I can. Most of the time it will be on the news or the gay board. Why do I respond to this topic? Well, I guess we don't get to see posts from the female perspective as much as the male one here for the obvious reason--it's LOS! And, perhaps, I feel that I have more empathy with women than men. It's refreshing for me to see discussions about Thailand from female point of view for a change. Anyway, enough about me.

Back to the topic, I hope I may have something that could be useful for you. I happen to learn recently that there is a some kind of network/matchmaking group called MeetNLunch. Unfortunately, I haven't been their client yet so I cannot say how it is, but I read one of the cofounder's articles regularly on one of the free lifestyle and entertainment magazines distributed weekly in Bangkok, and I like what and how she says. (That could be another topic altogether.) You may want to check it out when you arrive here. Or you may want to visit their web site to see if this may fit your need.

I would also suggest you pick up one of these free English weekly magazines, namely Guru or BK among others, when you live here. (I assume you will be in Bangkok first.) It will give you some ideas of what's going on in Bangkok or Thailand, although, as in any commercial magazines, you have to sift through tons of advertisements to get to helpful articles. I love reading them, for the obvious reason--they're in English and they are free!

Anyway, I wish you the best. I hope you get to work and live in LOS, for however long as you wish. And welcome!

Edited July 8, 2007 by Buckwheat
Website link removed. Please see Forum Rules

[November Rain]

Hi,

I hope it's ok for me to chime in. I'm a guy, a Thai and also gay.

I don't post here that often, but I like reading here as often as I can. Most of the time it will be on the news or the gay board. Why do I respond to this topic? Well, I guess we don't get to see posts from the female perspective as much as the male one here for the obvious reason--it's LOS! And, perhaps, I feel that I have more empathy with women than men. It's refreshing for me to see discussions about Thailand from female point of view for a change. Anyway, enough about me.

Back to the topic, I hope I may have something that could be useful for you. I happen to learn recently that there is a some kind of network/matchmaking group called MeetNLunch. Unfortunately, I haven't been their client yet so I cannot say how it is, but I read one of the cofounder's articles regularly on one of the free lifestyle and entertainment magazines distributed weekly in Bangkok, and I like what and how she says. (That could be another topic altogether.) You may want to check it out when you arrive here. Or you may want to visit their web site to see if this may fit your need.

I would also suggest you pick up one of these free English weekly magazines, namely Guru or BK among others, when you live here. (I assume you will be in Bangkok first.) It will give you some ideas of what's going on in Bangkok or Thailand, although, as in any commercial magazines, you have to sift through tons of advertisements to get to helpful articles. I love reading them, for the obvious reason--they're in English and they are free!

Anyway, I wish you the best. I hope you get to work and live in LOS, for however long as you wish. And welcome!

What a friendly, helpful post!

[canadiangirl]

yeah that can be about right. but that is if you present yourself as just another stupid farang girl on holiday to have a fling. you can't blame the boys, loads of easy young girls come here and fall in "love", stay just long enough to start to get to know a guy, promise him everything, then go home and never come back. it's heartbreaking the first time, by the 10th or 11th they become hard mo-fos. i have gotten to know a couple of them and if you present yourself as someone who is true to yourself and them (not fake), smart about the culture (in the way you dress, how much money you throw around, etc.), and respectful, you will be seen as a good girl and usually treated as such. unfortunately girls here are on their worst behavior sometimes.

Hi girlx,

yeah, I can see how they'd get to be a bit jaded, for sure. Thanks for the good advice! -CG

[canadiangirl]

Hi,

I hope it's ok for me to chime in. I'm a guy, a Thai and also gay.

I don't post here that often, but I like reading here as often as I can. Most of the time it will be on the news or the gay board. Why do I respond to this topic? Well, I guess we don't get to see posts from the female perspective as much as the male one here for the obvious reason--it's LOS! And, perhaps, I feel that I have more empathy with women than men. It's refreshing for me to see discussions about Thailand from female point of view for a change. Anyway, enough about me.

Back to the topic, I hope I may have something that could be useful for you. I happen to learn recently that there is a some kind of network/matchmaking group called MeetNLunch. Unfortunately, I haven't been their client yet so I cannot say how it is, but I read one of the cofounder's articles regularly on one of the free lifestyle and entertainment magazines distributed weekly in Bangkok, and I like what and how she says. (That could be another topic altogether.) You may want to check it out when you arrive here. Or you may want to visit their web site to see if this may fit your need.

I would also suggest you pick up one of these free English weekly magazines, namely Guru or BK among others, when you live here. (I assume you will be in Bangkok first.) It will give you some ideas of what's going on in Bangkok or Thailand, although, as in any commercial magazines, you have to sift through tons of advertisements to get to helpful articles. I love reading them, for the obvious reason--they're in English and they are free!

Anyway, I wish you the best. I hope you get to work and live in LOS, for however long as you wish. And welcome!

Hi Noctiluca!

thank you so much for your warm welcome and all the good information! With such kind words, I'm sure that you are welcome to post in the women's forum any time! I didn't know about the MeetNLunch group, but I think it sounds like a good thing to try once I am in BKK. I will also make sure to pick up BK and Guru as well. I think I've seen BK before, but maybe not Guru. Do you know if there are also free magazines like Guru written in Thai, for foreigners who want to practice reading?

It was really nice to read your comment to me!

[noctiluca]

Hi Noctiluca!

thank you so much for your warm welcome and all the good information! With such kind words, I'm sure that you are welcome to post in the women's forum any time! I didn't know about the MeetNLunch group, but I think it sounds like a good thing to try once I am in BKK. I will also make sure to pick up BK and Guru as well. I think I've seen BK before, but maybe not Guru. Do you know if there are also free magazines like Guru written in Thai, for foreigners who want to practice reading?

It was really nice to read your comment to me!

Likewise krub.

It's my pleasure that what I know can be any help to someone.

Guru is another free weekly magazine in the same format as BK. It comes out every Friday (same as BK) with the Bangkok Post. You could choose to buy the Friday newspaper or pick it up, not always but usually, from the same magazine rack you find BK. I also read Bangkok Trader and Tomyum (both are free and published monthly, although the latter is geared more towards foreign tourists), if I can find one.

If you want to read the Thai version of Guru or BK, try weekly Metro Life (from Manager Media Group who publishes The Manager newspaper), or the monthly bilingual Viva Bangkok, which can be picked up at the Emporium or Siam Paragon (but I feel Viva is much more catered to high end shopping and fashion fanatics. (Sorry fashion lovers! )

I also dug up some more info for you. Movers-Shakers (dotcom) web site can be another useful relocation source for you. Or try MobyElite's Bangkok Young Professionals for networking. I heard that BYP holds a monthly networking event. You could google both from the Net.

Good luck!

[villagefarang]

I found this a really interesting read. It got me thinking "Why am I waisting my time on Gereral topics?". In my 30+ years in Thailand have never spent much time with other guys, except on the squash court maybe. Why did I think I would like them any more in a forum setting than in a bar?

On topic, I would just like to just say that apart from learning as much as you can in the beginning to help build a strong foundation, you should be true to yourself. Either, who you are, will fit in here and you will be happy or not. Trying too hard to fit in or play the game is a loosing proposition. Life here will change you but don't change to fit in. Trust in yourself and that little voice that tells you something isn't quite right. Know that you can deal with whatever comes up, be it love or heartbreak. We often grow more through experiencing the bad things in life and surviving. Don't be afraid to ask for help but don't be gullible or over trusting. You will go through different fazes over time if things work out and each will have its own good and bad points. If things don't work out don't be afraid to packup and move on to something else. That goes for the guys in your life, too. We aren't really all that complicated and trying to hold on to a guy that just isn't in-to-you or doesn't treat you right isn't worth the effort.

Just keep your sence of humor about being a object of discussion among the locals. For the most part they mean well and are equal opportunity gosips. They talk about men and women farangs, though women get at different kind of attention from the guys.

I came here in my early 20s and it has become my home. It could be the same for you. Good luck!

[canadiangirl]

Likewise krub.

It's my pleasure that what I know can be any help to someone.

Guru is another free weekly magazine in the same format as BK. It comes out every Friday (same as BK) with the Bangkok Post. You could choose to buy the Friday newspaper or pick it up, not always but usually, from the same magazine rack you find BK. I also read Bangkok Trader and Tomyum (both are free and published monthly, although the latter is geared more towards foreign tourists), if I can find one.

If you want to read the Thai version of Guru or BK, try weekly Metro Life (from Manager Media Group who publishes The Manager newspaper), or the monthly bilingual Viva Bangkok, which can be picked up at the Emporium or Siam Paragon (but I feel Viva is much more catered to high end shopping and fashion fanatics. (Sorry fashion lovers! )

I also dug up some more info for you. Movers-Shakers (dotcom) web site can be another useful relocation source for you. Or try MobyElite's Bangkok Young Professionals for networking. I heard that BYP holds a monthly networking event. You could google both from the Net.

Good luck!

Hi Noctiluca,

thanks again for all this great info! I will definitely check out the links that you mention. I think I will have lots to read when I get to BKK!

I just want to say thank you for your helpful posts. You're a good example of why I'm happy that some men post in the ladies forum as well!

thanks!

-CG

[qwertz]

Hi CG just checking in (or checking out) your thread 'cos I got bored with the general forum today too.

So I'd just like to assure you and the other ladies that we men are not all over there for you know what.

If I needed a Thai girl there are lots over here but not as abundant as good looking Nordic girls (which I admit I prefer).

I do however need a place like Thailand to chill out and if I'm seen with a woman, it's primarily for her company.

My advice, you can divest yourself at once of the illusion that a single woman over there is more vulnerable than a man.

We're the prime targets for insincere people, not you.

However, the man has the advantage that he can strike up a friendship with either sex without inhibitions.

I travelled on my last visit with two young Austrian girls much younger than me.

They had problems understanding English, were total greenhorns and I was the ideal guide and interpreter.

I found them very entertaining and everything was new to them.

There was never any suggestion of intimacy, they were younger than my daughter.

We enjoyed ourselves immensely and they soon learned the necessary lessons about Thailand.

They've since visited me in Germany and we may meet again in Phuket inSeptember; this time I'll be chaperoning 11 Aussie kids.

If that doesn't keep me out of the bars, nothing will.

Be yourself CG, I'm sure from your posts that you have a lot going for you.

As for finding Mr. Right - good luck, you'll need it.

Edited July 18, 2007 by qwertz

[canadiangirl]

Hi CG just checking in (or checking out) your thread 'cos I got bored with the general forum today too.

So I'd just like to assure you and the other ladies that we men are not all over there for you know what.

If I needed a Thai girl there are lots over here but not as abundant as good looking Nordic girls (which I admit I prefer).

I do however need a place like Thailand to chill out and if I'm seen with a woman, it's primarily for her company.

My advice, you can divest yourself at once of the illusion that a single woman over there is more vulnerable than a man.

We're the prime targets for insincere people, not you.

However, the man has the advantage that he can strike up a friendship with either sex without inhibitions.

I travelled on my last visit with two young Austrian girls much younger than me.

They had problems understanding English, were total greenhorns and I was the ideal guide and interpreter.

I found them very entertaining and everything was new to them.

There was never any suggestion of intimacy, they were younger than my daughter.

We enjoyed ourselves immensely and they soon learned the necessary lessons about Thailand.

They've since visited me in Germany and we may meet again in Phuket inSeptember; this time I'll be chaperoning 11 Aussie kids.

If that doesn't keep me out of the bars, nothing will.

Be yourself CG, I'm sure from your posts that you have a lot going for you.

As for finding Mr. Right - good luck, you'll need it.

Hi qwertz,

thanks for your post! I am glad that there are men like you who post on this forum. And yes, I know that not all men in Thailand and/or on TV are in Thailand for sex.

I find so many of the posts on TV visa useful that I want to keep reading this forum, but frankly I find it increasingly difficult to keep my jai yen. I'm known among my friends as quite a dirty-minded girl, not PC at all, dark sense of humour, and I generally get along well with guys -- having worked most of my life in almost-all-guy fields. Heck, I like men, I like dating them, I like their company, I like having them as friends.

And really, I don't really care if men come to Thailand for sex. If it makes them happy, and the Thai women get what they want out of it, so be it. I don't care if they find Thai women more to their taste than Western women; I have my own taste in men as well. What I find increasingly hard to stomach is the blatant disrespect that many of the male posters here have for women, Thai or farang, and their apparent surprise, that even here, they are expected to pony up something in a relationship -- whether it be good looks, money, security, hot sex, respect, loyalty, or maybe even putting someone's else needs before their own. So many of the posts are from giant me-me-me babies that always seem to want something for nothing, dating-wise.

Basically, I try to ignore them, and focus on the interesting posts by people like yourself and others, but my patience wears thin.

Anyways, I'm glad that you're here. Please keep on posting.

[RogerL]

Hi! This is my first time posting. I'm actually Mrs. RogerL. RogerL made the mistake of telling me his password! We're planning to retire in LOS next year. We've visited several times as vacationers, but this winter we decided to have an extended stay and "live as retirees" rather than enjoying the tourist lifestyle. We loved it! I think Mr. RogerL would have been up for closing down our business, selling everything and moving to LOS without a trial retirement. I sure wasn't. I was afraid that our peer group would be washed up Vietnam War vets and their young Thai girlfriends. While there was some of that, what I found was an active community of many English speaking expats who where in LOS for more than the easy sex, cheap living and cold beer.

Mr. RogerL is involved with a world-wide (traditionally male) service club that seems to have a gillizon chapters in Thailand. So, this winter he attended as many of the local club meetings as he could while I was on my own to figure out what to do for the evening -- usually three or four nights a week. While the Thais were always very friendly and helpful to us as a couple out-and-about, I discovered that I was treated equally as well (maybe even better) as a 50-something woman trying to figure out shopping, meals, transportation, etc on my own. Maybe it was because of my age, maybe because I was always modestly dressed and smiled a lot, but I never felt hassled or objectified. Also, I discovered that some western men (of my own age or older) who I met at the hotel or thru expat events, where eager to go out to dinner for nothing more than a pleasant conversation (in English). As one said, if he wanted to have sex, he could be doing it within 15 minutes, but to find a woman to really talk to was something special. (This wasn't just a line.)

At some point, it dawned on my that if (God-forbid) something happened to Mr. RogerL, I'd still want to retire here on my own. I met other western women who had decided to retire/relocate to LOS on their own. Women who were single and not in any relationship.

Incidentally, Mr. RogerL and I have been lurking on various parts of TV for a couple of years and we both agree that the women's forum is the most helpful. On their other forums, the treads soon degenerate within a page or two. I don't know if this is a reflection of the women vs. men or just validation of superior moderation.

[qwertz]

^

Welcome Mrs. R, I'm just a male intruder who's tolerated by the girls here because I don't post nasty things (generally).

I just wanted to comment on your observation that not all of us men are sexpats, in fact you'll be surprised at how many are not.

Superficial encounters are so easy to arrange there that they don't even figure on the first page of our wish lists any more.

We live there or visit there for many other reasons, my main one being that I still haven't found anywhere better for a good cheap chillout and laid back people.

Enjoy, I can recommend it.

P.S. You're quite right too about the other forums, that's why I'm currently cruising through here and anyway, the girls are allright.

[PattayaAddict]

Trust me you will get well chased by the farang guys in Los -no chance to have a look at the Thai guys

Reallyyyyyy hope you enjoy your coming to Thailand Canadiangirl ,all the very best of luck to ya

[GreenShone]

Life for a single girl like me (here) in Thailand is fantastic. I can party, wander around, see who I please, come and go.............................

[sunshine4you]

Hey ladies,

I'm planning to come to live in Thailand for a few years after my graduation. I quite fell in love with the place last year. But I know that I wouldn't be the typical farang expat (I'm in twenties, female), and while men often feel like they hit the jackpot when they move to LOS, I know that life can be harder for us girls there.

Some of the things I'm thinking of:

- At home I'm considered a normal weight. Not model skinny, but suddenly in Thailand, I'm fat! I went into Boots to buy vitamins, and the salesgirl asked me if I was pregnant! I felt fat the whole time I was there, then when I got back home to my uni I was skinnier than everyone!

- How do you meet a good boyfriend?. Many farang men are there because they want to date Thai women. I'd be happy to date a Thai guy (so many cute ones!), but how do I meet a decent Thai guy? Are many Thai guys interested in dating farang girls, beyond the "exotic" factor?

- Fulfilling company, good friends. I realize lots of expats are male, and are there for different reasons than mine, how do you meet like-minded people?

- Some male expats seem to have quite a lot of hostility towards farang women. do you just ignore them?

I don't mean these as complaints, I fully know not everything is the same as back home. I'm just wondering if the more experienced female expats on TV might give me the benefit of your experience. Do you also experience the things I mention above? Do you have some coping strategies, suggestions, ideas, etc? What do you get out of living in Thailand? Thanks everyone!

Hi Canadian girl,

Well my personal experience has been very positive. I believe it is all how you carry yourself, I have a great time in Phuket. What I have found is that, not all men like extremely skinny women. I have heard it over and over, how they prefer a woman with some meat on her bones. Thai's have a different opinion on what is overweight, ..but it is impossible for most farang women to be that size...let alone look good, being that size. I hear alot from women complain, how the farang men are only interested in the Thai women. While this may be true in some cases, I have had absolutely no problem..my social card is far from empty. I have had a great time, dating men from various countries and cultures. I havent dated any Thai men, so i have no feedback on that issue. I wish you the best of luck here in Thailand, Im sure you will have a really good time. Just keep a positive attitude, the rest just follows..

[qwertz]

Sunshine, I remember chatting with a German girl by the hotel pool in Chiang Mai.

She was tall, had (IMO) a very good figure and looked good in a one piece swimsuit.

She told me that since arriving in Thailand, after seeing the Thai girls, she felt like a cart horse.

Edited August 16, 2007 by qwertz

[sunshine4you]

Sunshine, I remember chatting with a German girl by the hotel pool in Chiang Mai.

She was tall, had (IMO) a very good figure and looked good in a one piece swimsuit.

She told me that since arriving in Thailand, after seeing the Thai girls, she felt like a cart horse.

Hi Qwertz,

That is my point exactly, it makes me sad that women judge themselves so harshly. When a woman feels beautiful, she comes across as beautiful. I hear from men all the time how they get tired of women going on and on about how fat they are, when the men just dont see it that way. Im not saying there are not superficial men out there, only attracted to plastic beauty, because they do excist. Those type of men are not what I am personally interested in, i doubt most women of substance are. Beauty is the whole package, a woman that loves herself shines...attitude is everything. Of course this is just MHO.

[sbk]

Well said, sunshine4you. I don't feel enormous in Thailand, but then I am not super tall either. I do feel that I look like a woman and know that my husband prefers my look. Good enough for me.

Beauty is as beauty does, the best looking girl around can make herself unattractive by her behavior and attitude.

Quick note: I am reminded of a conversation between my father and a good friend of his. Dad's friend was commenting about a woman they both had known years ago and made a remark about what a beautiful woman she was. My dad asked him, "But wasn't she obese?" and dad's friend said "Well, yes, but she had the most beautiful eyes and she was such a wonderful woman that all I saw was what was beautiful about her".

It reminded me what a great guy he is. I just hope there are more like him out there