Farangs Who 'go Native'.......

[Neeranam]

I was totally confused when MacB first made that post, now I realise it was a self fulfilling prophecy.

self-fulfilling

[MaiChai]

Here is my tuppence worth: I lived up country for about 10 years, interspersed with trips abroad to work. Its nice living in the country but you become very dependent on your wifes family and life can become boring and very slow. If you fall out with her or her family you are on your own in the middle of nowhere. Ok, I learned to speak, read and write Thai (not good but enough to get by). There were some great inconveniences; examples: no decent internet, no decent shopping, no malls, restaurants, getting spare parts for cars/bikes, etc. I could not even get ToT to fix the phone line and everything was really low tech! Not to mention floods, power cuts and illness.

Now I live in Bangkok and life is wonderful. I can still go and see the wife and kids when I want and enjoy some country living, but have all the benefits of Thailand WITH modern conveniences like decent Internet, not getting ripped off for hard to get items (computer/technology bits like TVs), taxis, shopping malls, night life, beautiful girls, etc, etc. I can go to the country/beach whenever I feel like it and don't have that dependence on the wife's family. Only disadvantage is cost.

Conclusion: I am a city boy and you should live in Thailand on your own terms!

Edited July 5, 2007 by MaiChai

[chinthee]

Here is my tuppence worth: I lived up country for about 10 years, interspersed with trips abroad to work. Its nice living in the country but you become very dependent on your wifes family and life can become boring and very slow. If you fall out with her or her family you are on your own in the middle of nowhere. Ok, I learned to speak, read and write Thai (not good but enough to get by). There were some great inconveniences; examples: no decent internet, no decent shopping, no malls, restaurants, getting spare parts for cars/bikes, etc. I could not even get ToT to fix the phone line and everything was really low tech! Not to mention floods, power cuts and illness.

Now I live in Bangkok and life is wonderful. I can still go and see the wife and kids when I want and enjoy some country living, but have all the benefits of Thailand WITH modern conveniences like decent Internet, not getting ripped off for hard to get items (computer/technology bits like TVs), taxis, shopping malls, etc, etc. I can go to the country/beach whenever I feel like it and don't have that dependence on the wife's family. Only disadvantage is cost.

Conclusion: I am a city boy and you should live in Thailand on your own terms!

hear! Hear! Good man.

[bkkmadness]

I was totally confused when MacB first made that post, now I realise it was a self fulfilling prophecy.

self-fulfilling

piss-off

[Luckydog]

Can you speak Thai Luckydog?

You can't teach an old Luckydog new tricks old bean. Can YOU speak English?

Lucky, where else apart from LOS can you be what you want to be?

In brief, be yourself, whatever that may be.

Whether you're admired, loved or ridiculed is really not important in the grand scheme.

I think, apart from the few people who have to be there, we all go there because we can live differently - and hopefully better - than we could back home.

Is this fair comment?

Qwerty, your comments are always fair. Yes of course.

[Luckydog]

Lucky dog, have you really thought this through?

If you were a local who would you sneer more at-

- a westerner who learns the local language and customs and tries to be respectful

- or a farang with a Thai gf who can't even be bothered to learn the language

be honest now

I am always honest Garro old bean. But you havent got what I am on about have you?

I am saying that you can respect and even practice some of the better Thai Cultural things and learn Thai is you wish. I know some Thai actually. But don't try to be something you are not! Get my drift?

THEY DON"T WANT US TO TRY TO BE LIKE THEM. MOST OF THEM WANT TO BE LIKE US!

If they didn't they would all be walking around in Thai and not European clothes. Surely?

The Europeanisation of Thailand is vast and it's increasing year on year.

Honest enough for you Pal?

[philliphn]

I visited an old friend up country where he lives in a little village with his Wife, her Kids and extended Family the other day, and frankly I was shocked!

He has gone completely Native......Dressing Thai, speaking Thai, eating Thai, waiing all over the place etc.

I asked my GF what the locals think of him. She told me that they laughed behind his back.

Now ain't that sad? There he is integrating himself to death, and they think it's funny.

And this got me thinking. At a time when Thailand is becoming more and more Westernized, what possible reason is there for us Farangs to go the other way?

By all means respect Thai customs, Religion etc, but keep your own for Gawd's sake!

I know, I know most of you do. But there are plenty of peeps who are losing their identity.

And I think it's a shame. Agreed?

"Dances With Wolves"

[Luckydog]

it sounds like the villagers sneering at him are not people he should be too concerned about.

you see a lot of people in the uk sneering at people from other cultures, but they are usually fairly thick and most people from other cultures are encouraged to not be too concerned about them either.

Ok, but if - for instance - a white Brit started to mix within a 100% asian community in the UK, and started to dress and act accordingly, wouldnt that be a little odd?

EXACTLY! Well put.

[jamesc2000]

Lucky dog, have you really thought this through?

If you were a local who would you sneer more at-

- a westerner who learns the local language and customs and tries to be respectful

- or a farang with a Thai gf who can't even be bothered to learn the language

be honest now

I am always honest Garro old bean. But you havent got what I am on about have you?

I am saying that you can respect and even practice some of the better Thai Cultural things and learn Thai is you wish. I know some Thai actually. But don't try to be something you are not! Get my drift?

THEY DON"T WANT US TO TRY TO BE LIKE THEM. MOST OF THEM WANT TO BE LIKE US!

If they didn't they would all be walking around in Thai and not European clothes. Surely?

The Europeanisation of Thailand is vast and it's increasing year on year.

Honest enough for you Pal?

Nothing wrong with farang going Thai and nothing wrong with young people in Thailand going western and wearing jeans and t shirts.

I could be wrong but I get the impression that Luckydog is suggesting that The Europeanisation of Thailand is good thing but Farangs going Thais is not?

Edited July 7, 2007 by jamesc2000

[Neeranam]

it sounds like the villagers sneering at him are not people he should be too concerned about.

you see a lot of people in the uk sneering at people from other cultures, but they are usually fairly thick and most people from other cultures are encouraged to not be too concerned about them either.

Ok, but if - for instance - a white Brit started to mix within a 100% asian community in the UK, and started to dress and act accordingly, wouldnt that be a little odd?

EXACTLY! Well put.

Like Thais who mix with farangs an wear the same clothes?

[qualtrough]

Oh! and my Wife says she never says ANYTHING just to please me. O Bluddy K?

[/b]

She's probably saying that just to please you.

[jamesc2000]

Oh! and my Wife says she never says ANYTHING just to please me. O Bluddy K?

[/b]

She's probably saying that just to please you.

[jamesc2000]

it sounds like the villagers sneering at him are not people he should be too concerned about.

you see a lot of people in the uk sneering at people from other cultures, but they are usually fairly thick and most people from other cultures are encouraged to not be too concerned about them either.

Ok, but if - for instance - a white Brit started to mix within a 100% asian community in the UK, and started to dress and act accordingly, wouldnt that be a little odd?

EXACTLY! Well put.

Too right! Too many Brits are having curries after 10 pints in a nite club gyrating their bodies in a most un British fashion to that voodoo music from Africa they used to call disco!

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

Fascinating how the Asian community is adapting to life in England! Just watch Goodness Gracious Me!

Edited July 7, 2007 by Totster
link removed

[Neeranam]

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

English please, not British.

[Totster]

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

English please, not British.

Is it only the English that eat beans on toast ?

Totster

[Neeranam]

Luckydog, where is your wife from?

[Neeranam]

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

English please, not British.

Is it only the English that eat beans on toast ?

Totster

Us scots certainly don't do Morrisey dancing

We do manly things like caber tossing.

[November Rain]

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

<deleted> is morrissy (sic) dancing?

Dancing to the Smiths with a gladiolus stuffed in your back pocket & wearing an old-fashioned hearing aid?

[cdnvic]

They should just stick to good old beans on toast after a nite out with that morrissy dancing or dancing around the may pole! You can’t get more British than that!

English please, not British.

Is it only the English that eat beans on toast ?

Totster

Add a porridge options for the jocks

[villagefarang]

Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

[garro]

Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

[villagefarang]

Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

[meemiathai]

Lucky dog, have you really thought this through?

If you were a local who would you sneer more at-

- a westerner who learns the local language and customs and tries to be respectful

- or a farang with a Thai gf who can't even be bothered to learn the language

be honest now

I am always honest Garro old bean. But you havent got what I am on about have you?

I am saying that you can respect and even practice some of the better Thai Cultural things and learn Thai is you wish. I know some Thai actually. But don't try to be something you are not! Get my drift?

THEY DON"T WANT US TO TRY TO BE LIKE THEM. MOST OF THEM WANT TO BE LIKE US!

If they didn't they would all be walking around in Thai and not European clothes. Surely?

The Europeanisation of Thailand is vast and it's increasing year on year.

Honest enough for you Pal?

Nothing wrong with farang going Thai and nothing wrong with young people in Thailand going western and wearing jeans and t shirts.

I could be wrong but I get the impression that Luckydog is suggesting that The Europeanisation of Thailand is good thing but Farangs going Thais is not?

I think you are quite right. See? This is exactly why I complain a lot about farangs. A lot of them seem to think their way of life and thinking is somewhat superior to other nations'(especially asian ones). So in this case of course it must be wrong to go the other way round for luckydog's friend. I feel much better though nowadays for I have found that a lot of them don't even realize that they are acting like they are superior to others. It's in their subconscious.

Edited July 8, 2007 by meemiathai

[WaiWai]

"Dances With Wolves"

Yeah, was just thinking this scenario would be great for a TV series.

Possibly a humorous one .

What is "Goodness Gracious Me" ? Must look it up.

[PeaceBlondie]

The vast majority of farangs in Thailand are NOT immigrants. We are on NON-immigrant visas. That is the big difference. What percentage are going for permanent residence or citizenship? Less than 1 percent I would guess. The rest are up for deportation periodically. So why go totally native in such a situation? I agree be sensitive to the culture, learn the language if you can/want to, enjoy the food if you do, etc, but it only goes so far considering our legal status and second class persons status.

Is it still beyond you?

This post, #55 in the thread, is so good that I'll coment on it before reading the rest of the thread.

At least technically, Jingthing has a valid point: by definition, we are not immigrants even if the authorities have issued us our 28th annual renewal of our NON immigrant visa. I've only been here four years, and for convenience, I say that personally, I migrated to Thailand. I applaud my fellow farang who can learn Thai language and can eat Thai food; I cannot. Even my first condo was at least 50% native Thai; my current moobahn is probably 80%. I got used to cold showers in Latin America, but we have water heaters here when we want it. I taught secondary school full time in a province, for almost two years; that was going native, partially. I wai, but I don't know exactly whom to wai how high. Is that a pop song title, "How High the Wai"? I do not wai waitstaff, but I treat them well and leave tips. I don't think my partner's family laughs at me; sometimes we all laugh together.

Could I assimilate much more? I can't do the language or the food, so that limits me. I wear Thai style shirts about twice a week. I swim at the public pool, and ride a motosai alongside the Thais. Honestly, what more should I do?

[sbk]

Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

I suspect this is the reason for the laughter. If he wais everybody it becomes a bit of a joke, doesn't it? And then, you can't really say he's gone native because he clearly doesn't understand local customs.

I wai (and yes, I do understand it fairly well) , I eat Thai food, I can speak the local dialect, I go to weddings, funerals, ordinations and house openings. I even attend the occasional merit making ceremonies at the local Wat (depends on who its for). I dress appropriately for my sex and station. Does this put me in the "going native" category? I don't think so, I still wear western clothes, am still opinionated, (can't cure that ), still me.

I don't believe my neighbors laugh at me, in fact, most appreciate the effort made to fit in. I regularly get praised by people at how well I dress, how well I speak local Thai and often have neighbors stick up for me at events when some non-local person goes on and on about it. "Oh, she can eat Thai food" one Bangkok woman said, local guy said, "She's been here a long time, she can cook it too, what do you expect?"

So, no, I see nothing wrong with respecting local customs and culture, but I also see no need to lose yourself and your own values in trying to assimilate.

[garro]

Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

How do you know the guy the OP is talking about is getting it wrong?

We only have the view of the OP and his GF to go by.

The OP obviously has an axe to grind, doesn't want to learn Thai, and I doubt he knows a correct wai from an incorrect one.

As mentioned before it is likely his GF is telling him what he wants to hear (and even then he is depending on her sister to translate what she is saying).

[garro]

Tip : If you are mindful when you Wai you won't make mistakes

[meemiathai]

Tip : If you are mindful when you Wai you won't make mistakes

I see a farang here who understands exactly what its meaning is!

[villagefarang]

How do you know the guy the OP is talking about is getting it wrong?

We only have the view of the OP and his GF to go by.

The OP obviously has an axe to grind, doesn't want to learn Thai, and I doubt he knows a correct wai from an incorrect one.

As mentioned before it is likely his GF is telling him what he wants to hear (and even then he is depending on her sister to translate what she is saying).

How do you know he isn't getting it wrong?

How do you know the OP has an axe to grind?

How do you know the GF's motives?

Not sure why you are reading so much into all this and why you are so defensive and negative. Could it be that it touches too close to home?