November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 OK, after the unpleasantness on Bambi's humorous & harmless thread, I, for one, have had enough of some of the squatters we get in the ladies forum. Sbk, Boo & other mods do a wonderful job in correcting them, deleting unpleasant posts & moderating in general. But, why should they be writing the unpleasant comments in the first place? We have some wonderful men on here, who visit us & are polite, respectful, insightful & just brilliant. We all know who they are. Then we get the bitter, foul-mouthed, nasty-minded misogynists. Sadly, we all know who they are, too. This tiny corner of TV is where we ladies can get together & share. The men have all of the rest of it. That's shown by the fact that virtually ANY newbie is assumed to be a man by the other men. Sure, we can put in our two'pennorth elsewhere & do (excuse the Brit slang), but this little corner here is ours. It's where we can gossip, share tips, laugh, be touched - be women for goodness' sake! we shouldn't have to worry that some stupid guy who has never learnt to think with his big head (the one on his shoulders) can come in here & be offensive. I don't know what the answer is. I don't have one, not without shutting out the lovely guys, who we all welcome & want to have join us. And I don't want to do that, same as the rest of you. But, I'm so sick of the recent influx of squatters. Do they have rights here? Can we evict them? How? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mid Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I don't know what the answer is. same as for that other place ................ take the thread out of the new posts page and the majority will never know that you exist . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinthee Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Yes, i agree with Mid. I do also eavesdrop but never contribute unless I have something positive to add. You should be allowed a space without male intrusion. As it stands, today's post by Bambi was just too provocative to keep the idiots out of your room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 If it were only Bambi's thread, Chinthee, I might, regretfully agree with you. But these unwanted comments are everywhere these days. A few months back (sbk knows about this, as I actually reported it) I got a foul pm from a male member, being offensive to me & telling me to go back to farangland where feminists like me were more at home (not actual words, but near enough) from a post I'd put on the ladies' forum in answer to a ladies' thread! The member in question is still being offensive on here, now. The last post of his I read was about a week ago. Most of you guys are great & it's fantastic to have your input, but some of the guys who come on here now, only seem to want to be offensive. I mean, what did poor Bambi do to get that? Apart from post something that we women could identify with & felt was funny? I mean, she put it on here for us to see. Not on general, for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinthee Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Ladies, I don't know if you noticed, but you did get an apology post by Nidge in the forum support section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo siam Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I just hit "View new posts" and read the titles, I rarely ever glance at what particular forum it's in - I'm guessing most people do this, in which case it's pretty hard to make people abide by special rules or behaviour for this part of the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangsay Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Well NR I must admit when I saw your thread title I wasn't sure whether your occupancy of your current lodgings were under threat or you had a problem when using the toilet facilities. I can appreciate your point of view but some of the punters on this forum are not gentlemen (yes I know I was that soldier but I was "tired and emotional" at the time) and it is hard to see how you keep them out of one particular forum. Now I don't spend a lot of time in there (honest!) but how does the gay forum manage. I would have thought that was a magnet for the "troudecul's". Intensive mod attention ? Maybe you need a need a "handbag" patrol to keep order. Good luck and regards as always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 OMG! All the members replying or viewing are men. I thought I'd been clear, but maybe not, that most of the men who come in here, I find to be lovely. But there are some "squatters" IMO, who set up camp in here & just live to be offensive. They are the only ones that I'm objecting to. And I'm really beginning to wish I'd never said anything... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 There's unpleasant posts all over this board, the ladies section hasn't been singled out. Unstoppable problem on a public board I'm afraid. Didn't see why SBK had to specifically point out the trouble makers were male though, I mean, why bother? Just encourages more of the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Sorry NR, another man. This is my first time (I think) posting in the ladies section. You make a very valid point but the problem is how could you police it. I am not always sure of the sex of half the members here on TV Good luck with it though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantilley Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Don't know why the "View new posts" thing comes up so much regarding this. It clearly says which forum the post is in in the column immediately to the right of the thread title - it's not hard to miss at all. I always see which forum the posts are in before I click them. Also, it sounds like November Rain and the other ladies have some real problems with certain posters - and justifiably so by the sounds of it - just set them to "ignore" and all will disappear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainman Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 (edited) At the risk of sounding rude, but we men want a "Men's Forum" too! How come the ladies get a dedicated forum and men don't? I'm just joking. I try to be friendly and nice to everyone, if I agree with their views or not. I occasionally respond to posts in the Ladies' section because I enjoy the change of topics, rather than the usual visa/immigration/computer/beer threads. Edited July 5, 2007 by rainman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinthee Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 At the risk of sounding rude, but we men want a "Men's Forum" too! How come the ladies get a dedicated forum and men don't? Because 90% of us are men. Look at the 2006 poll results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 At the risk of sounding rude, but we men want a "Men's Forum" too! How come the ladies get a dedicated forum and men don't? To be fair Rainman. The point NR is making is that the rest of the forum is mostly aimed at men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainman Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 To be fair Rainman. The point NR is making is that the rest of the forum is mostly aimed at men. I know, I edited my reply to state that I was just joking ...to avoid being torched with a flamethrower and grilled over the open fire like a piggy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangsay Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 OMG! All the members replying or viewing are men. I thought I'd been clear, but maybe not, that most of the men who come in here, I find to be lovely. But there are some "squatters" IMO, who set up camp in here & just live to be offensive. They are the only ones that I'm objecting to. And I'm really beginning to wish I'd never said anything... Well if you "squat" it out long enough we'll probably get bored and go away. Unless you dicover "below stairs" problems as well (and post about it). Enjoy your forum , laydees ! The lurkers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 OK, I have absolutely NO problem with any of the guys who have replied or are viewing now. And please don't blame the other ladies - they're not here. But while we've been discussing this on here, one of the guys I'm talking about has gone onto the next thread down & slagged off Western women again. Shouldn't we women be allowed to express our views on this part of the forum, without getting that? Sure, anywhere else, we're fair game. But can't we express our views here without being told "this is why us guys come to Thailand"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaReina Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 OK, after the unpleasantness on Bambi's humorous & harmless thread, I, for one, have had enough of some of the squatters we get in the ladies forum. Sbk, Boo & other mods do a wonderful job in correcting them, deleting unpleasant posts & moderating in general. But, why should they be writing the unpleasant comments in the first place? We have some wonderful men on here, who visit us & are polite, respectful, insightful & just brilliant. We all know who they are. Then we get the bitter, foul-mouthed, nasty-minded misogynists. Sadly, we all know who they are, too. This tiny corner of TV is where we ladies can get together & share. The men have all of the rest of it. That's shown by the fact that virtually ANY newbie is assumed to be a man by the other men. Sure, we can put in our two'pennorth elsewhere & do (excuse the Brit slang), but this little corner here is ours. It's where we can gossip, share tips, laugh, be touched - be women for goodness' sake! we shouldn't have to worry that some stupid guy who has never learnt to think with his big head (the one on his shoulders) can come in here & be offensive. I don't know what the answer is. I don't have one, not without shutting out the lovely guys, who we all welcome & want to have join us. And I don't want to do that, same as the rest of you. But, I'm so sick of the recent influx of squatters. Do they have rights here? Can we evict them? How? Good question. Don't think there is a solution other than weeding out the jerks when they post. All in all, I enjoy reading what the guys have to say, even if this is a women's forum. But I am referring to the men who give explanations or try and offer solutions. The gentlemen of the board. Who sometimes take on the roll of older brother or younger bratty brother crashing a slumber party with a fake snake. In all honesty this is a forum and a free world. A poster could be male and assume a female identity and be mean or a woman in a foul mood can be equally mean to other posters. There is no broad way to monitor things I would think. We just have to accept that under the mask of a nickname. Sitting behind a computer alone, some people who were bullied as children can develop a sense of entitlement and can feel empowered to try and bully others. And as an adult acting like a child, they should be placed in "time out". Or the "napoleon syndrome" is not a fable but a reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 (edited) First of all, i want to thank November Rain for being my big sister. Secondly, I want to apologise everybody about my thread in lady forum ( Topic : Smelly). It was really funny situation i have had. I told my TH friends (Both straight and GBTL) they had a great laugh.So,I though it would be fun if ladies in forum know about my silly thing. However,I realized that it was too much information and it might irritate people in TV. Then I asked a favour from SBK to close it Finally, I want to say I am really sorry Edited July 5, 2007 by BambinA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 Sorry, Bambi - didn't mean to embarrass you. I was just a bit peed off about some things that have been going off for a while. I thought your thread was really funny. I don't want the guys to go, either. I never meant that. But maybe a "3 strikes & you're out" rule for here? 3 really offensive comments & they're banned from access to here? That would sort out all of the ones I'm upset about. Just an idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaReina Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 OK, I have absolutely NO problem with any of the guys who have replied or are viewing now. And please don't blame the other ladies - they're not here. But while we've been discussing this on here, one of the guys I'm talking about has gone onto the next thread down & slagged off Western women again. Shouldn't we women be allowed to express our views on this part of the forum, without getting that? Sure, anywhere else, we're fair game. But can't we express our views here without being told "this is why us guys come to Thailand"? But the problem is.. for example, after reading the response from the poster that you are referring to, you kinda just want to ignore the comments. Unless they are a direct un-warranted attack at a person (as was earlier today) then why bother? I mean, why waste energy? There is a slew of comments that could be directed at his response.. starting with the minor in the avatar, but why bother? One bad apple .. might have a worm in it that is eating it's way out . Chuck it in the garbage disposal and be done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Rain Posted July 5, 2007 Author Share Posted July 5, 2007 OK, I have absolutely NO problem with any of the guys who have replied or are viewing now. And please don't blame the other ladies - they're not here. But while we've been discussing this on here, one of the guys I'm talking about has gone onto the next thread down & slagged off Western women again. Shouldn't we women be allowed to express our views on this part of the forum, without getting that? Sure, anywhere else, we're fair game. But can't we express our views here without being told "this is why us guys come to Thailand"? But the problem is.. for example, after reading the response from the poster that you are referring to, you kinda just want to ignore the comments. Unless they are a direct un-warranted attack at a person (as was earlier today) then why bother? I mean, why waste energy? There is a slew of comments that could be directed at his response.. starting with the minor in the avatar, but why bother? One bad apple .. might have a worm in it that is eating it's way out . Chuck it in the garbage disposal and be done! I agree in principle, La Reina. 100%. And the only reason I mentioned him at all was to illustrate a point on this thread. But, I'll admit, it does get my goat when we have to ignore this sort of thing all the time. In that case, why not scrap "ladies" & we'll all just tell our stories in general - & take the consequences? I'm not seriously suggesting that, BTW. It's just, we have our little corner, but we have to put up with misogyny in it anyway... I dunno; "no fair" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 But I am referring to the men who give explanations or try and offer solutions. Hehe It is men's behaviour .Guys love to fix a problem when girls just want to complain. We girls do not want to know the answer. We just want guys listen to us girls and reply as "oh yes? really? I agree." Give us just 5-10 mins to complain lol I don't want the guys to go, either. Neither do I. We girls need Guys' opinion sometimes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadave Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 like one poster said before Hit the "veiw new posts" button your topic looked like an interesting read thought maybe you needed help with something,sorry some one got your preverbials in a twist but most folk on here are only trying to help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gburns57au Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Just read "Smelly" Thought it was a hoot.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 ladies use the report function when someone is being offensive or antagonistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BambinA Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Just read "Smelly"Thought it was a hoot.... LOL my Dad and Mum laughed alot till tearing (I called em and told em about the story) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo siam Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Don't know why the "View new posts" thing comes up so much regarding this. It clearly says which forum the post is in in the column immediately to the right of the thread title - it's not hard to miss at all. I always see which forum the posts are in before I click them. Why? Does it change what you will read or write? Obviously if it comes up so much it's because most people aren't really that interested in what forum it's in, or who started the thread, on what day etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 First, Bambi - you have nothing to apologize for, I also found it funny as h3ll. 2nd, November - you needn't regret bringing the subject into focus. It actually resurfaces periodically (this issue) and sbk and the other lady mods are excellent in keeping the riffraf at bay, but sometimes not an easy task. I personally think there should be a zero tolerance policy in the forum for this behavior. As a mod I scan things a little differently then members do (I suspect). 99% I use view new posts, then check the title, then the member and maybe the forum. In this case I entered the forum because, well I enjoy reading what Bambi has to say - rarely fails to give me a smile. However, after going through the thread and seeing what was going on I got a bit miffed and decided to 'butt' in and give a warning. I wasn't comfortable doing it due to it's not my territory, but my tolerance is pretty low for that type of attitude. There are rules for the ladies forum and perhaps there should be automatic penalties for any that do not follow them. Past discussions on this issue indicates a zero or low tolerance policy should be followed and maintained. This suggests that the male mods may need to be more proactive due to possible time issues that the lady mods may have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 (edited) Sorry, Bambi - didn't mean to embarrass you. I was just a bit peed off about some things that have been going off for a while. I thought your thread was really funny. I don't want the guys to go, either. I never meant that. But maybe a "3 strikes & you're out" rule for here? 3 really offensive comments & they're banned from access to here? That would sort out all of the ones I'm upset about. Just an idea... Hi November Rain, I'm a relative newcomer here, so I don't have the experience of the some of the other posters. But I think that the "3 strikes and you're out rule" would be very good. That way, only certain posters get banned, the men who are lovely can stay -- and there are many with useful, interesting comments that I wouldn't want to see leave -- and no one gets banned for one misunderstood post. Frankly, I'm surprised at some of the nasty comments I've received. I'm pretty thick-skinned from being the only girl in 200 boys at my uni, but I'm growing rather sick of: 1) suggestions that I take up prostitution because I mention that I'm looking for a job 2) "that's why men come to thailand (smirk) " in response to my saying that women exercise sexual choice in NA. -- frankly, I could do without. Edited July 5, 2007 by canadiangirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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