LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to

itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the

stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat

tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will

start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are

with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle

arrive last.

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask

you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have

adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a

floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the

carpet/rug.

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop

making it.

The Law of Old Wives Tales:

If you believe that a dropped piece of buttered toast always lands buttered side down

AND

You believe that a dropped cat always lands on its feet

Then what hapens if:

You strap a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat before dropping it?

O'Tools Axiom.

Murphy was and optimist.