Frugality

[qualtrough]

We hear a lot about wife's, GFs here that are spendthrifts, but I have the opposite problem. Most of the time I enjoy the fact that my wife is extremely frugal and low maintenance, but once in a while it really irritates me--like today. I passed by a Foodland and bought some groceries. As is my wont, I also bought two bags of ice to keep the meat and vegetables cool. So I get home and the wife puts the food away, and then, as always, turns to me and asks me why I always have to buy two bags of ice. A bag of ice is 3 Baht! Besides, better spend the 3 Baht keeping the food cold then having the food spoil or go off and losing a few hundred. To make things worse, she always stuffs those half melted bags into the freezer, where they harden into solid lumps that take a lot of work to get ice cubes out of. Penny wise and pound foolish things like this wear me down. I am afraid I lost my cool today and told her quite strongly that I never, ever want to hear any complaints about 3 Baht bags of ice again. Rant over...thank you for listening.

Edited July 9, 2007 by qualtrough

[midas]

We hear a lot about wife's, GFs here that are spendthrifts, but I have the opposite problem. Most of the time I enjoy the fact that my wife is extremely frugal and low maintenance, but once in a while it really irritates me--like today. I passed by a Foodland and bought some groceries. As is my wont, I also bought two bags of ice to keep the meat and vegetables cool. So I get home and the wife puts the food away, and then, as always, turns to me and asks me why I always have to buy two bags of ice. A bag of ice is 3 Baht! Besides, better spend the 3 Baht keeping the food cold then having the food spoil or go off and losing a few hundred. To make things worse, she always stuffs those half melted bags into the freezer, where they harden into solid lumps that take a lot of work to get ice cubes out of. Penny wise and pound foolish things like this wear me down. I am afraid I lost my cool today and told her quite strongly that I never, ever want to hear any complaints about 3 Baht bags of ice again. Rant over...thank you for listening.

Mate don't ever lose your cool with a person like this ! Women that think this way

are uncommon beileve me ........What would you rather have someone superficial who has

no regard or respect for your money and thinks it grows on trees ?

[qualtrough]

You are right, but sometimes too much of a good thing, is well, too much!

Edited July 9, 2007 by qualtrough

[ercorn]

I think 90% of the people on this forum would be happy to have a wife like yours.

[Mobi]

Your wife's behaviour is not that unusual. My ex wife of 27 years(Thai) was exactly the same. Sometimes it used to drive me to distraction.

There's a guy who lives near me who's wife is also very frugal. They are always having rows because he wants to buy the best, and she insists on buying the cheapest. It's his money. and he can afford to buy the top brand of whatever it happens to be, but it doesn't matter, she insists on him buying the cheapest available. I've known him get so irritated that he's had full blown rows with her in the middle of stores when she's tried to stop him 'wasting' his money.

I guess if they are like that, they'll never change.

[Khun ?]

Maybe when they get that bad, they could feel it is less they can cyphon off to her children or extended family.

Met a few that their farang husbands did not know money was going somewhere else when they could get away

with it.

[sutnyod]

We hear a lot about wife's, GFs here that are spendthrifts, but I have the opposite problem. Most of the time I enjoy the fact that my wife is extremely frugal and low maintenance, but once in a while it really irritates me--like today.

I am seriously happy for you. Obviously your marriage is working out so well that you have to concentrate on the micro-problems you have. So who cares if one of you loses their temper from time to time. That's life.

[Fred Sanford]

Somehow I suspect that these frugal women are the exception and not the rule. I have the opposite problem as does everyone I know

[qualtrough]

Your wife's behaviour is not that unusual. My ex wife of 27 years(Thai) was exactly the same. Sometimes it used to drive me to distraction.

There's a guy who lives near me who's wife is also very frugal. They are always having rows because he wants to buy the best, and she insists on buying the cheapest. It's his money. and he can afford to buy the top brand of whatever it happens to be, but it doesn't matter, she insists on him buying the cheapest available. I've known him get so irritated that he's had full blown rows with her in the middle of stores when she's tried to stop him 'wasting' his money.

I guess if they are like that, they'll never change.

I have your friend's problem too. When I am buying things for the house I want good qulity stuff, not crap laminated furniture that will deteriorate in a year or two.

[sbk]

Your wife's behaviour is not that unusual. My ex wife of 27 years(Thai) was exactly the same. Sometimes it used to drive me to distraction.

There's a guy who lives near me who's wife is also very frugal. They are always having rows because he wants to buy the best, and she insists on buying the cheapest. It's his money. and he can afford to buy the top brand of whatever it happens to be, but it doesn't matter, she insists on him buying the cheapest available. I've known him get so irritated that he's had full blown rows with her in the middle of stores when she's tried to stop him 'wasting' his money.

I guess if they are like that, they'll never change.

My mother-in-law is like this too, drives my father-in-law around the bend, and they've been married 50+ years!

She will make him drive from store to store to save 10 baht without understanding that he is spending more than that on gas.

[qualtrough]

Maybe when they get that bad, they could feel it is less they can cyphon off to her children or extended family.

Met a few that their farang husbands did not know money was going somewhere else when they could get away

with it.

I suppose that happens, but not in this case. No money is being siphoned off or disappearing, and no sick buffalos or relatives. She is just frugal to a fault. Yes, I would prefer that to a gold digger, but sometimes it gets to be a bit too much, like today. I should add that her parents, who are very frugal, tease her for overdoing it a bit.

All is well now. I apologized for the blow-up, but asked her to please not bother me about 3 Baht items. That should be good for another couple of weeks until I carelessly spend too much, or tip a waiter 10 Baht.

I wonder if there is a Thai equivalent for "Penny-wise, pound foolish", i.e. putting the food at risk to save 3 baht on a bag of ice. Anybody?

[qualtrough]

My mother-in-law is like this too, drives my father-in-law around the bend, and they've been married 50+ years!

She will make him drive from store to store to save 10 baht without understanding that he is spending more than that on gas.

Oh God, that is another one I recognize! We have motorcycle taxis here that will make a round-trip to the market or hardware store for 10 B R/T. It is a tremendous convenience. No sugar, call a motorcy and 10 Baht and 10 minutes later you have sugar. The wife feels this is a big waste and seems to feel that it would be better if I saddled up the old truck and did it myself. I have explained that besides wasting my time (I work from home) the wear and tear and gas/petrol amounts to more than 10 B. To no avail. It is very deeply ingrained. I try to adjust, but every once in a while the pressure builds and I blow a gasket over this type of thing. Again, I know this is minor stuff and I should be thankful that she isn't a spendthrift, but we have to have something to get annoyed about once in a while don't we?

[PeaceBlondie]

Extreme penny pinchers are few and far between, anywhere in the world. Today I told my Thai partner to buy two 329 baht internet cards; we've always bought one at a time. I just thought he'd save trouble of having to go buy one more next month. But he is very thrifty, and ten baht is the most he likes me to tip. But he'll splurge on big ticket items like a new motorcycle, and we now have a 37 inch TV screen. That's an example of being satang wise and pan baht foolish.

[pnustedt]

Mate don't ever lose your cool with a person like this ! Women that think this way

are uncommon beileve me

I've got one - you should hear her hit the roof when UBC or the Electric Company et al give her change when paying the bill and try to charge her to the next full baht. I try to skulk away to the furthest corner from the cashier!

[Dakhar]

My wife is also a penney pincher. In the states it drove me nuts. A guy making 6 figures using watered down shampoo.... what's with that?

But you know in the end, despite the agravation and we are sitting on a rather large nest egg. All of my siblings are counting cherioes in their kids bowels just to distribute the food such that it will last, while they sit in their huge mansion.

We lived frugally and i have to say I am glad, and even if the end if I were to pass without really tasting of the fruits of my labor, my son will.... so I really don't mind.

Not to mention, I do not fear medical bills.... the care i fear, but not the bills

[qualtrough]

All of my siblings are counting cherioes in their kids bowels just to distribute the food such that it will last, while they sit in their huge mansion.

Are they recycling the Cheerios that are not fully-digested and then distributing those for a second round? Sounds like a very unhealthy practice to me. Even my wife would not stoop to that!

Edited July 9, 2007 by qualtrough

[peter991]

I am happy to report Thai ladies are not the only frugal ones. My former workmate married a lovely Thai lady. I took her shopping in Khon Kaen. She spent over an hour selecting three pairs of socks for her husband. My new BF is the best bargainer I have ever met.

Peter

[chemist]

I agree with some of the posters that said that the OP should consider himself lucky. Most Thais I have met don't have a clue when it comes to taking care of money. The word "budget" or its Thai equivalent doesn't seem to be included in their vocabulary .

I don't know how many times my Thai wife has received phone calls from friends or relatives who want to borrow cash because their own money supplies (spent on the latest mobile model, some fashion clothes or whatever) have run dry two weeks or so before the next pay day. And sure, we have played along on some occasions and (mostly) we have gotten our money back sooner or later. However, lately we have decided that our time in this chaotic borrowing circus (person A borrows from person B, and to be able to pay person B back person A borrows from person C, and so on) is definitely over (except for serious emergency situations).

I have to admit that my wife was involved herself in this "circus" when I met her. I taught her (I didn't lecture her) some basic stuff about how to make a budget and how to stick to it, and now she has some serious control over every baht spent. And she actually LIKES this new sense of control! She makes me proud every day (not only when it comes to money issues, of course), and I consider myself one lucky man to have married her .

Regards

Edited July 9, 2007 by chemist

[t.s]

I think 90% of the people on this forum would be happy to have a wife like yours.

and the other 10% just covet the 6 baht or lumpy ice

[Mobi]

It takes all kinds and in my experience the frugal ones will never change - it's in their bloody genes.

My ex wife was so tight, that she would never agree to inviting someone to our house a second time until they had reciprocated and invited us to their house - it just wasn't fair according to her way of thinking, and she would keep track of all our visitors - poor and rich - to make sure we didn't entertain anyone twice in a row - including family.

Then when we did splash out and buy a new suite of furniture, or a dining suite - you would never see it for years - if at all. Because it had to be covered and protected from damage and wear and tear, so we sat on covered sofas and our dining tables and chairs had permanent plastic covers. I could go on....

At the end of the day you have to put up with it and try to make some compromises - or do what I did - get out before you end up in the loony bin or death row

Edited July 9, 2007 by Mobi

[lazeeboy]

It takes all kinds and in my experience the frugal ones will never change - it's in their bloody genes.

My ex wife was so tight, that she would never agree to inviting someone to our house a second time until they had reciprocated and invited us to their house - it just wasn't fair according to her way of thinking, and she would keep track of all our visitors - poor and rich - to make sure we didn't entertain anyone twice in a row - including family.

Then when we did splash out and buy a new suite of furniture, or a dining suite - you would never see it for years - if at all. Because it had to be covered and protected from damage and wear and tear, so we sat on covered sofas and our dining tables and chairs had permanent plastic covers. I could go on....

At the end of the day you have to put up with it and try to make some compromises - or do what I did - get out before you end up in the loony bin or death row

someyimes being frugal cancost money ,1 example my other half will drive 4 kilometres to buy petrol cos its .50 satang cheaper than the 1 300 yards from my house then drive back ,cant get it through to her that unless she fills it up she loses money ,answers all ways that im stupid ,thai's

[Heng]

Being frugal to a lot of folks is just a game. What a lot of folks don't understand is that it doesn't necessarily make you wealthy. I'll usually compare prices of closely priced products... usually clothes, gifts, stuff like that... not as much stuff at the supermarket where I don't really care about the prices because hey, it's food... but that price comparison is really just practice/exercise for staying sharp in business matters where the satangs and small Baht amounts DO add up in volume.

IMO too many folks out there are practicing frugality in vain. Nothing wrong with being cheap and saving... but if you don't use that skill to MAKE anything, you're likely not going to see much improvement in terms of quality of life.

[Tinkelbell]

Being frugal takes years and years of practice. Usually young mothers start learning how to budget their household expenses after they find out there are more mouths to feed. To raise a child is quite a small fortune, also don't forget the kids college fund. So little by little, they would try to stop their husband from wasting money on unneccessary things ( the so-called big boy toys): How many big screen TV you want, how many masseur chairs you need, why it it that you have to get the latest model of computer or digital camera where as the last one (still in perfect condition) you brought not long ago...??? For the wife, before they buy anything, they always ask themselves do they really need it. This always lead to big arguements between married couples.

Having said all that, if you guys have some patience and stick around long enough and the marriage survives, you would sure be appreciated the (hard earned)financial rewards in your later years,i.e: The house had paid off, kids finished college and working with good pay and good future job, watching your nest-egg grows , you have enough money to cover your medical cost and you can travel anywhere and anytime you want.

Life is great !

[Jersey_UK]

The Missus is the only Thai person I have ever got involved with enough so that budgetting matters / is of interest.........but been quite fascinating given the stories of wild spending and grasping family.........

Can't say we have not had our "moments" when it comes to finances, but very interesting for me to watch her evolve into someone who takes great pains and pride in trying to budget within her means and to therefore be £££ independent as far as possible (ignoring the fact that 90% of her monthly income comes from yours truly! - as we both just treat this payment as a given)..........She does not always succeed and sometimes still has to draw on the good graces of "The Bank" in Jersey" .........but I am more than satisfied with her on this point - it's not as if I have ever really got the hang of budgetting!!

I don't generally quiz her too much about her overspends (or what she spends HER money on during the month), more jokily chide her about a lack of budgetting skills and sympathise that budgetting is not always easy........but both of us know and have accepted that she should have more than enough cash to look after herself comfortably.

Fortunately she has not gone quite as far as OP (and I hope she never does!), but I do know she bites her tongue in not asking about how much I get through on a night out in Thailand ..........but we seem to have reached an understanding in that she has accepted that I will always continue to make sure she is OK money wise (and a bit more) as my no 1 priority and in exchange she doesn't ask awkward questions .........I wonder if this will last when she is in the UK, when any errors in judgement cash wise do matter in GBP terms........

Edited July 9, 2007 by Jersey_UK

[ProThaiExpat]

There seems to me to be underlying "control" issues when one partner berates their loved one for inconsequential financial moves.

In my book, love is letting your loved ones live happily and if it requires forbearance when it comes to how they handle money, then bite your lip. Sure, if it is a high priced item that imperils your financial plan, speak up, but otherwise, let go and let live.

I believe the handling of money is the number one issue in most marriages.

[Luckydog]

You are right, but sometimes too much of a good thing, is well, too much!

Grounds for divorce.

[Luckydog]

My GF says she wants there to be some money in the Bank when I go.

So she tries to stop me spending it all..........

[jetjock]

The old saying 'Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves' has a strong element of truth to it. IMHO you are fortunate to be with someone that also believes in this saying so why would you ever want to change her even if you could (which you probably could not).

Frugality is part of ones personality sometimes learned as a child. I always remember the story about the actor known as Cary Grant who grew up poor. Even after he reached stardom and was worth millions of dollars, it was said that every morning, to save money he would have his maid cut the food coupons out of the paper before she went shopping at the market !

[autonomous_unit]

I would agree with jetjock that frugality can be a personality issue (or pathology) as well as a rational skill. I've seen both in my own US extended family and my Thai extended family that sometimes frugality happens without rationality, i.e. the obsession to save a dime costs too much in other unaccounted expenses or just in terms of opportunity cost or aggravation. I like to think that I've found some happy medium and do not exhibit the pathologies of my bloodlines, but I am sure I must be blind to some of my faults.

But I wouldn't doubt other experiences reported here, that some people learn budgeting skills later in life and show real improvement in their quality of life as a result.

I try to follow the rule of moderation in all things, including consumption, spending, saving, investing, and bargain hunting.

[soundman]

IMO too many folks out there are practicing frugality in vain. Nothing wrong with being cheap and saving... but if you don't use that skill to MAKE anything, you're likely not going to see much improvement in terms of quality of life.

Absolutely. Spend the whole time being tight & you miss oportunities where spending a little will make you a whole lot more.

Soundman.