It is a tale told by idiots. Here is my take on the topic - as we get older and our bodies decline, we get angry about it. Our opinions get more rigid and we drop too easily into fixed grooves. My family noted this happening to me and suggested this site didn't help. Since Rooster hung up his quill, there is very little humour to be found in these threads. I don't mean the cruel, snide jokes about the opinions of others, but real attempts to lighten our life. It is why I relish the pseudo-cockney stories from XXX (his name escapes me.) Here's one from my extensive collection over two decades of Life in Pattaya: Flood Survival Techniques The first rule is; always wear a buoyancy aid; they come in a variety of colours, the most popular being day-glow orange. Very popular in Boys Town are the rainbow-hued ones; these can be personalised with your name in sequins. It is Sod’s Law that when the storm breaks you are in or near a bar. In the UK it has been estimated wherever you are there, you are never more than two metres from a rat. Similarly, this is true here of bars. Because Pattaya is built on a hill and because Thais are not aware that water flows downwards, every East/West soi turns into a raging torrent within minutes. The force of the water and the average age of the ex-pats means drowning is a real possibility particularly for those wearing socks and sandals. Sodden socks act as a weight which means most victims hit Beach road feet first. Luckily the far-sighted local authorities have chopped down all the shade bearing trees so our plucky pensioner usually misses coming to a sudden halt with a palm trunk between his legs. The buoyancy aid keeps your shoulders off the road surface so you get to keep most of your skin in that area. The second safety rule is; switch off your phone; maybe remove the Sim card in case your wife phones. (She has already installed a tracker.) Answering a call with the giveaway background noise of music and excitable female voices is justification for homicide in most Thai courts. The third rule is; do not ever play Connect 4 (or any other game) with one of the girls at the bar. They are professionals. You are allowed to win the first couple of games till a drink gamble is introduced. From then on, every loss will cost you a Lady Drink until your adversary falls comatose at your feet and vomits copiously on your sandals. (This soon washes off on the walk back to the car through the dwindling stream of sewage released from the overworked ‘drains’ – the last word is used ironically.) Your car should always contain a bailer. Car door seals are designed to dissolve in water so you will find ten centimetres of flood water (the last word is ironic) swishing round your brake foot. The frequent floods help explain why Thais inflate their tires to double the recommended PSI figure; it also saves petrol when floating downhill. Sudden turns are not wise.
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