Family Support

[macb]

Whether you live in the village full time or have to commute to your Home land to work how supportive are you to your wife's family ?

[Gimbo]

I don't mess with that. The wife sorts it out. Well, the money comes from the household budget, how much she choose to spend on family and how much she keeps for herself is entirely up to her, as long as the bills are paid and there is food on the table.

If there is a crisis she may have to ask for something extra, but that has yet to happen...well...it's early days.

[Thumchok]

Generally the wifes parents are self sufficient . Farm the parents own , and another one they call their other daughters farm because it was purchased through her sinsot .

We pay 5k/month for looking after the wifes 2 children . This is used mainly to buy washing powder ,soap , toiletries , schooling peripherals etc.

The wife also sends a parcel of food up every now and then , both these come from her monthly allowance while am away , and I pay for when I am home .

I bought Papa a motorcycle which I can use when I am there ( when it's home )

Mama has something wrong with her eye that will need to see a doctor after the rice is planted this year . I will gladly foot the bill for this .

I consider my wife's family to be good people even though Papa at times will sit around all day and get boozed up .

My only problem is that I cannot communicate with them , which I am working on .

Of course though when I visit , I pay for all the food and some beer . Cigarettes are a pain , but the wife has explained that we have to travel far to get the brand I smoke and usually buys a few packets of the cheaper local ones .

[pnustedt]

Most of my wifes' family work for us on our farming business, two heads of family can earn about Bt30K a month and have private use of pickups, etc. Prior to setting up the business they relied very strongly on handouts from my wife (her mother died last year) but now the handouts are not necessary and they can make their own priorities on money matters.

[slapout]

Start by offering nothing, and when the topic comes up offer to contribute the same amount that her brothers and sisters (give to the old folks) This should give you a indication of what type of number you will be looking at. The Thai's have 30 baht health plan which appears to work. Maybe not the most convient but medicine , doctors , hospital are covered by this as near as I can tell. My inlaws use it and if the local hospital is not sure they refer them to the regional hospital. I have not been involved with major illness so not sure of that procudure.

[Thaicoon]

Wifes family run the farm, 100 rai, we get our 40 % share of rice each year, wifes oldest sister has a annex in our house and looks after the house whilst we are in the UK, she keep the place like a new pin, we pay her 2000 baht a month, so she is quite happy, most of this go's on cards, she is 45 and single, does not drink, other sister has openend a village shop, and brother in law is head man of the village, wifes mother died about 10 years ago, wifes father lives in a bungalow with 6 rai known as the embassy,which we bought, he has plenty of room for his chickens and cattle, but unortunate he is now very ill, and in hospital, good age for a thai at 74, so i think we all will have to fly out very soon, they are a very good family and i am proud to be a part of them, love em to bits, and if they ever need help, i would help them out no problem, they have done me a few favours in the 12 years i have known them. we are the lucky guys.

Edited July 18, 2007 by Thaicoon

[Thumchok]

Start by offering nothing, and when the topic comes up offer to contribute the same amount that her brothers and sisters (give to the old folks) This should give you a indication of what type of number you will be looking at. The Thai's have 30 baht health plan which appears to work. Maybe not the most convient but medicine , doctors , hospital are covered by this as near as I can tell. My inlaws use it and if the local hospital is not sure they refer them to the regional hospital. I have not been involved with major illness so not sure of that procudure.

I assume that was directed at me .

The wife will bring her down to Bangkok , and she will see a specialist and then we will decide wich road to go .

I would go to all stops to save her eyesight , not a question of how much the sisters can afford to me .

If the 30 baht health plan can pay some , all the better . But I am not counting on it.

[Thaicoon]

The father in law is very ill, he needs operation, cancer, i have told the wife whatever the cost i will pay, he has his thai card, but i would prefer he went into a private hospital, he is been pig headed at the moment, as he does not want the op, Dr has given him 5 months to live, so we are going to do our best for him and hope he can stay on this earth for a few months longer.

[slapout]

Thumchok: no reference to you, just a note to op about the health care here. Our children are on it (thai/forang) and I have been pleasently surprised as when they get sick, sore throat etc. ,wife takes them to hospital and doctor takes time to do tests and perscribe medicine etc. sorry about your mother in laws eyesight. My father in law is presently in referred hospital so wife is there today to review tests etc. with doctor( he is 73 so just have to wait and see.)

[jumnien]

I give my mother in California $2,000/month support and I'm very happy to do it. My Thai wife's family gets far, far less than this, nothing regularly, and they seem quite happy. They are very generous folks on the whole and gentle on top of it.

[jayenram]

I pay the FG a monthly allowance and I pay for the majority of the food cost and all the utilities costs. She sends a proportion of the allowance to her family occasionally. If her family come to visit (once a year for a week at most), I pay for everything when they're here.

[Thumchok]

Thumchok: no reference to you, just a note to op about the health care here. Our children are on it (thai/forang) and I have been pleasently surprised as when they get sick, sore throat etc. ,wife takes them to hospital and doctor takes time to do tests and perscribe medicine etc. sorry about your mother in laws eyesight. My father in law is presently in referred hospital so wife is there today to review tests etc. with doctor( he is 73 so just have to wait and see.)

Cheers slapout ,

Wish all the best for your father in law too .

Jim .

[Khutan]

Start by offering nothing, and when the topic comes up offer to contribute the same amount that her brothers and sisters (give to the old folks) This should give you a indication of what type of number you will be looking at.

Quite so.

I take this attitude now, Grandma lives in my wife's house, so she gets all the expenses and some pocket money.

The rest of the family can go to work just as easily as I can, therefore, they can pay their own way. If they are too lazy to work, then they must also be too lazy to eat or drink.

I have seen a number of people in the extended family totally devoid of any level of personal responsibility, and they expect a hand out, because they are a relative by marraige. These same people turn down work, simply because they don't like the work. They then complain that they have no money to feed the kids etc.

[Tilapia]

Whether you live in the village full time or have to commute to your Home land to work how supportive are you to your wife's family ?

NONE !!!!!.....Unless if I had plans of buying shares in the local LAO-KAO factory They are hopeless alcoholic's....And yes, we have tried to help.

Tilapia.

[Tilapia]

Start by offering nothing, and when the topic comes up offer to contribute the same amount that her brothers and sisters (give to the old folks) This should give you a indication of what type of number you will be looking at.

Quite so.

I take this attitude now, Grandma lives in my wife's house, so she gets all the expenses and some pocket money.

The rest of the family can go to work just as easily as I can, therefore, they can pay their own way. If they are too lazy to work, then they must also be too lazy to eat or drink.

I have seen a number of people in the extended family totally devoid of any level of personal responsibility, and they expect a hand out, because they are a relative by marraige. These same people turn down work, simply because they don't like the work. They then complain that they have no money to feed the kids etc.

Good post, but I bet that they still have money to buy Lao-Kao and lottery.....

Tilapia.

[slapout]

The first time I mentioned "same as other bothers and sisters give" was at our marriage in the village. I watched the whole village eat (ok} drink (ok) get drunk,(pain in the a..) and during this festive event There were at least 5 Thai introduce themselves as a sister to my wife. When one of them asked how much I would give pa amd ma each month This is what I told her. Potential freeloaders maybe,??? I had known my wife several years and her family, but those individuals have never asked anything and never mentioned being sisters again. Even my wife enjoyed this story when I told her. I do use as a guideline at times when its needed.

[pgs]

When there, the family are as supportive of me as I am of them - just in different ways. We do the big 'family meal' on arrival & at departure & larger gatherings with friends. I generally pay for these. Sometimes I am not permitted to pay at all. Mum Thai had 3 strokes in 10 days - we couldn't get there immediately, but payments did. When TW went home the house was modified to suit mum's lack of mobility. I followed a few weeks later & tended to the financials. This kept 4 locals directly emlpoyed for 2 - 3 weeks with building & several small businesses had special orders they were only too happy to do.

[joeuk1]

I bought the wifes parents a piece of land and gave them money to build a small house , i dont give the wifes parents anything now , i did all as a one off payment my choice when i married . I think my wife slips them a few baht its her money and she can do what she likes with it .

JB

[Thaicoon]

One thing i have been doing, for my two neices, any birthday or special ocasion, i have been giving them 1000 baht each, also every time my wife and i leave to come back to UK, may give them 1500 each, the oldest neice has just started law school, so needed a motorbike, i was so pleased to know that she went into a bike shop in Buriram and paid cash fo a new honda, everything i have given them they have put in there bank accounts, that make me feel proud, as they have not wasted the money. as most teenagers would of.

[C-sip-degree]

Whether you live in the village full time or have to commute to your Home land to work how supportive are you to your wife's family ?

Mach,

I can say 100 PERCENT including the light bulb.

With a return of 4-20mA not bad arr….

A burp in the face most days during dinner which is a Good sign.

Two burps a day doesn’t keep them away but lets you know things are OK.

Haven’t achieved 3 burps, but in 15 years of trying have came close, but then I realized that it wasn’t a triple only a double with a twist.

100 percent is the max I know….That’s why

sometimes I feel weak and tired knowing that they wouldn’t change, I took bold steps and am feeling much better for it.

Once I had found the correct Doctor to manage this situation my road to recovery was being map out and I started to wake up in the mornings feeling improved.

I now receive plasma injection’s once a week to help keep my blood volume at the appropriate level.

I tried hanging cloves of garlic outside of the house but found that they didn’t work

then later again I realized they were also diminished in quantity as well.

I try to avoid family gathering, and full moons as for these days my blood level is drained to a point where I’m pale, cold, and staring to turn blue.

Regards

C-sip

[Gary A]

I guess I'm just a hard ass. I have been in Thailand for a lot of years and seen most of the tricks. Many guys told me that when you marry a Thai girl you marry her family too. NOT true. I had pretty much given up on ever getting married again when I met my wife. After we got serious, it was discussed and agreed to that I was going to marry her and NOT her family. I live in her house and if she ever decided to move any family member in, I'm headed back to the farang ghetto with or without her. I enjoy my privacy. My wife is free to go visit her family whenever she wants. I DON'T want them camped out at our house. She gives them money or food at special times but not a lot. The family works together to plant rice on her folks farm and that's where her folks get their income. I don't mind her taking them to the doctor when necessary or babysitting once in a while.

Some guys enjoy family Thai style but I am not one of them. I'm quite content being left alone.

[macb]

Well I get stagnant moments when I am thinking what Topic to start next that would cultivate an interest. thanks huys looks like this might blossom as well and add to the information for guys who have not crossed this bridge yet:

Well my wife's family (that is the ones living in the village) consists of Mother Father Grandfather two nieces: Now Father has Gout so is always going to Hospital and will never improve much, the Grandfather bless him is 90yrs old and now cannot control his bowels . Mama cannot walk at the moment she got something in her foot and told no-one and it went sceptic so we had them both in Hospital.

1 Niece is 13yrs and has to look after the Grandfather bless her the other is 5 yrs old, in another village not far away is a Sister with four kids and a Hubby.

My wife pays her mum out of the allowance I give her, I pay all the amenities in our house and her parents and and also some food and treats etc the wife sorts other Issan food out, I also give the Sister in another village money sometimes to help, Other sisters that work Bkk, the wife has told on my instruction that they must help support theere mama and papa as well, and this they do now. So its the wifes mother when she can walk does everything.

Sisters have been working rotas coming to stay and help when both papa and Mama were in Hospital.

[ozzydom]

Whether you live in the village full time or have to commute to your Home land to work how supportive are you to your wife's family ?

NONE !!!!!.....Unless if I had plans of buying shares in the local LAO-KAO factory They are hopeless alcoholic's....And yes, we have tried to help.

Tilapia.

Same,same, we regularly hire help but rellies refuse to work,they expect handouts for doing zilch, we had to cease the practice of a bottle of lao-kao for the workers after the days work as the bludging rellies would hang around like blowflies on a dead roo.

[mrbojangles]

We bought some land last year (about 3 rai) and her parents, brother his wife and kid live in a corner of it. It has loads of mango trees and coconut trees etc. They seem to trade these in for rice. The wife also has a big fish pond/lake and they seem to eat and trade the fish as well. The wife also has a piece of land that grows Man Sam Palang (sp) and they trade in that. They also do some casual labour for friends in the village and get paid a small amount.

So pretty much self sufficient, although the land is owned by the wife. The wife doesn't send them any money on a monthly basis but i wouldn't care if she did. I did catch her giving her brother 6,000 baht last time we where there, it was towards a new bike. I didn't mind, he's a good bloke and takes care of the elderley mum and dad.