the wai

[stoner]

how often do you wai ?  on a regular basis ? do you feel obligated to do it ? 

 

i find it strange personally even after 20 years of interaction with thai. the longer i stay here the less i wai.

 

i have also experienced the nefarious over exaggerated wai. where a person goes out of their way to do a really big wai and all full of what looks like acting. 3 times in my life i have encountered this wai and every time it turned out to be backed by an absolute horrible person. from both extremes of the culture as well. the one came from an extremely well to do thai and the other came from a poverty stricken thai. yet the action and mannerism was almost the exact same. 

 

 

[Nick Carter icp]

I don't Wai anyone , as a Felang, its not expected or required and it just embarrasses others when you Wai at the wrong time  .

  

[richard_smith237]

5 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I don't Wai anyone , as a Felang, its not expected or required and it just embarrasses others when you Wai at the wrong time  .

 

In any foreign culture, isn't is better to try and be polite than to fein complete ignorance ?....  Don't we, or a lot of our countrymen complain that 'visitors' (or immigrants as many of us are), do nothing to try and fit in and adapt to the local culture into which we have moved ?

 

A wai, is just like saying please and thank-you IMO and its far better to be polite than not. 

 

I get that some folk are scared of making a fool out of themselves by Wai'ing at the wrong time, in the wrong order, to the wrong person, wrong height of wai etc etc....  they're really over thinking it... 

 

If someone Wai's you - its never impolite not to wai back, even if doing it wrong, even if its a child etc...  BUT - the hard rule of never Wai'ing anyone will guarantee that you are impolite to someone at some point in your day.

 

 

Those who go around grinning and wai'ing everyone also make themselves look a little foolish, but its better than being impolite. 

It's not difficult to learn when to wai and when not to etc... 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2023 by richard_smith237

[Nick Carter icp]

4 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

 

 

A wai, is just like saying please and thank-you IMO and its far better to be polite than not. 

 

 

 

 

 

   I always say please and Thank you when necessary and a bow or a nod of the head when needed 

[Nick Carter icp]

11 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

If someone Wai's you - its never impolite not to wai back, even if doing it wrong, even if its a child etc...  BUT - the hard rule of never Wai'ing anyone will guarantee that you are impolite to someone at some point in your day.

 

 

 

 

   No one ever Wais me though , if they did then I would begrudgingly Wai them back 

[Stanton681]

Farangs are not expected to wai. Surely anyone who works here would have learned that when they moved to LoS.

[scorecard]

9 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

In any foreign culture, isn't is better to try and be polite than to fein complete ignorance ?....  Don't we, or a lot of our countrymen complain that 'visitors' (or immigrants as many of us are), do nothing to try and fit in and adapt to the local culture into which we have moved ?

 

A wai, is just like saying please and thank-you IMO and its far better to be polite than not. 

 

I get that some folk are scared of making a fool out of themselves by Wai'ing at the wrong time, in the wrong order, to the wrong person, wrong height of wai etc etc....  they're really over thinking it... 

 

If someone Wai's you - its never impolite not to wai back, even if doing it wrong, even if its a child etc...  BUT - the hard rule of never Wai'ing anyone will guarantee that you are impolite to someone at some point in your day.

 

 

Those who go around grinning and wai'ing everyone also make themselves look a little foolish, but its better than being impolite. 

It's not difficult to learn when to wai and when not to etc... 

 

 

 

From above:  "I get that some folk are scared of making a fool out of themselves by Wai'ing at the wrong time, in the wrong order, to the wrong person, wrong height of wai etc etc....  they're really over thinking it... "

 

Takes about 10 minutes make yourself fully aware of: when / how high / situations - reasons / who wai's first etc. And in a little more complex situations just go with the flow.

 

I wai regularly and as expected in the situation. 

[scorecard]

Just now, Stanton681 said:

Farangs are not expected to wai. Surely anyone who works here would have learned that when they moved to LoS.

I don't agree. Expand your horizons.

[roo860]

Never have and never will, nod of the head suffices, IMO.

[stoner]

27 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I don't Wai anyone , as a Felang, its not expected or required and it just embarrasses others when you Wai at the wrong time  .

  

 

i don't remember the last time i even did it to be honest. it was that long ago. 

[sungod]

My sons play in football teams where its mostly Thai, Thai parents wai me and I wai them back. It's just courtesy and effortless.

[timendres]

Spend enough time with Thai people, and you will notice they are not constantly "wai-ing" each other.

You will begin to notice the contexts in which it is commonly used and/or expected.

As a foreigner, returning a wai is never wrong.

[FritsSikkink]

16 minutes ago, Stanton681 said:

Farangs are not expected to wai. Surely anyone who works here would have learned that when they moved to LoS.

They do respect it if you do though.

[richard_smith237]

Its seems there are two distinct groups in this...

 

Those who refuse to wai and think a nod suffices, that foreigners are never expected to wai etc... 

& those who are happy to adapt and learn, and make simple efforts to be respectful....

 

It seems the ignorant and impolite will stretch to numerous reasons as to why they should not wai...  I wonder if these same people complain of immigrants in our home countries not adapting to the mannerisms and polite socail mores or our own countries. 

[stoner]

1 minute ago, richard_smith237 said:

Its seems there are two distinct groups in this...

 

Those who refuse to wai and think a nod suffices, that foreigners are never expected to wai etc... 

& those who are happy to adapt and learn, and make simple efforts to be respectful....

 

It seems the ignorant and impolite will stretch to numerous reasons as to why they should not wai...  I wonder if these same people complain of immigrants in our home countries not adapting to the mannerisms and polite socail mores or our own countries. 

 

good thing in canada we're taught to welcome everyone. 

[Nick Carter icp]

3 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Its seems there are two distinct groups in this...

 

Those who refuse to wai and think a nod suffices, that foreigners are never expected to wai etc... 

& those who are happy to adapt and learn, and make simple efforts to be respectful....

 

It seems the ignorant and impolite will stretch to numerous reasons as to why they should not wai...  I wonder if these same people complain of immigrants in our home countries not adapting to the mannerisms and polite socail mores or our own countries. 

 

   OK, just for you , I will go and Wai the girl in 7/11 when I go later for some beer 

[richard_smith237]

9 minutes ago, sungod said:

My sons play in football teams where its mostly Thai, Thai parents wai me and I wai them back. It's just courtesy and effortless.

 

100% agree...     it becomes courtesy and is effortless. 

 

Picking my son up from School the other Thai Parents Wai me...  its quite causal.

I Wai my Inlaws when I see them.. they return the Wai of course the same with their Friends... 

My closest Thai friend never Wai's me... (we've been very close friends for over two decades)...

 

To wai or not to wai - is not even a question that comes up on my radar until threads like this...    for anyone who's spent time here, they either naturally adapt and or consciously reject.

 

I know which mindset is more commonly going to experience negative encounters here because they'll be considered less respectful. 

[richard_smith237]

6 minutes ago, stoner said:

good thing in canada we're taught to welcome everyone. 

 

Oh well then... thats solved it... If you are from Canada there is no need to wai because you are welcoming to everyone in your home country ???   

 

Is that what you mean ??... otherwise I don't get your point..   No Canadaian complains about foreigners / immigrants who move to Canada and don't attempt to adapt to the local culture ?

 

 

Edited December 15, 2023 by richard_smith237

[Gecko123]

21 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Never have and never will, nod of the head suffices, IMO.

 

I trust your pith helmet has a chin strap.

[richard_smith237]

2 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   OK, just for you , I will go and Wai the girl in 7/11 when I go later for some beer 

 

Gaslighting...  

 

Perhaps you are not clever enough to adapt to the simplicity of when to wai and when not to... 

 

 

 

 

 

[stoner]

1 minute ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Oh well then... thats solved it... If you are from Canada there is no need to wai because you are welcoming to everyone in your home country ???    Is that what you mean ??... otherwise I don't get your point.. 

 

point is you spoke about us back home in our own countries complaining etc. you seem to be on 2 very extreme ends with how this works. no one back home complains when other cultures don't adhere to the local ones. that's the point. 

 

either i wai and i am all good or i don't and somehow i am ignorant or being disrespectful. 

 

[Nick Carter icp]

4 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Gaslighting...  

 

Perhaps you are not clever enough to adapt to the simplicity of when to wai and when not to... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Yes, maybe I should attend a Waiing  School where they teach you all about it ?

[richard_smith237]

25 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Never have and never will, nod of the head suffices, IMO.

 

No it doesn't...   a complete newbie may get away with their innocent ignorance / someone who's known to have been here for any length of time will be considered impolite. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PJ71]

6 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Gaslighting...  

 

Perhaps you are not clever enough stupid enough to adapt to the simplicity of when to wai and when not to... 

 

 

 

 

 

Fixed it for you.

 

You're welcome.

[Nick Carter icp]

8 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Gaslighting...  

 

Perhaps you are not clever enough to adapt to the simplicity of when to wai and when not to... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   If I met you, would I have to Wai you and vice versa ?

[richard_smith237]

3 minutes ago, stoner said:

 

point is you spoke about us back home in our own countries complaining etc. you seem to be on 2 very extreme ends with how this works. no one back home complains when other cultures don't adhere to the local ones. that's the point. 

 

either i wai and i am all good or i don't and somehow i am ignorant or being disrespectful. 

 

 

No one in Canada complains about foreigners coming over to Canada and not trying to adapt to the local culture and customs ?

IMO - thats the biggest complain those of any nation have of their 'visitors' (immigrants).

 

Of course, as you indicate there is a 'spectrum' rather than just two extremes...   I responded to the 'extreme' comments of those who refuse to Wai, say they don't need to Wai... or its not expected that a Foreigner Wai's etc....    those are the extremes and will be considered impolite. 

 

Operating in the 'balance' as many of us do would be considered most appropriate. 

 

 

 

 

[stoner]

8 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   Yes, maybe I should attend a Waiing  School where they teach you all about it ?

 

this could be a whole new visa category.

[richard_smith237]

Just now, Nick Carter icp said:

   If I met you, would I have to Wai you and vice versa ?

 

You Wai other foreigners ???

 

IF you met Friends of a friend or business colleague etc who are older than you, it would be expected that you Wai them...

IF don't it will be written off as you being ignorant of the local customs and culture and at worst as you being disrespectful. 

IF you wai, but do it incorrectly, it will be considered a nice attempt to be polite. 

IF you do Wai correctly, you'll be considered polite and respectful and will very likely have endeared yourself to the person you have met. 

 

Of course, all experiences and situations vary and must be dealt with on their individual merits... 

 

However, refusing outright to offering or returning a Wai, given the situation leads to anything ranging from absolutely nothing, to being considered rude and ignorant. 

 

 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

10 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 Yes, maybe I should attend a Waiing  School where they teach you all about it ?

 

If you are that ignorant, you'd not learn anything anyway. 

 

If you are incapable of learning from your surroundings you are doomed to remain ignorant and will likely be treated as so. 

 

 

[Nick Carter icp]

1 minute ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

If you are that ignorant, you'd not learn anything anyway. 

 

If you are incapable of learning from your surroundings you are doomed to remain ignorant and will likely be treated as so. 

 

 

 

   Ohhhwwww ,  Mr Nice and  polite and respectful Wai ing everyone can be rather unpleasant and rude and abusive on line .