Men Are Just Happier People

[DirkGently]

I thought I would add a new rule for the ladies.

Never ask 'Honey! What are you thinking?". Unless, that is, you are prepared to talk about Chuck Norris, welding or how drunk Terry was last night.

I love you all cupcakes. Now how about a sandwich!

[AlexLah]

It is not that difficult, for example:....

Stop asking if we love you or not.

Easy answer to this one Alex, if your girlfriend/wife/partner feels the need to ask if you love her or not then try being more demonstrative in your love because it's pretty clear from the question that the girl isn't sure. And if she isn't sure then there is probably a pretty good reason for it. Either you aren't showing it, or not behaving as if you loved her or you don't love her and that's why it isn't apparent enough that she doesn't have to ask.

SBK, you seem to be an intelligent person so I would like to know from your perspective what it is that we man need to do that shows that we love our partner?

I have tried the following:

1. Tell her she looks so beautifull and young

2. Bring flowers or small gifts every week

3. Make love whenever she is in the mood and do what she likes most

4. Cook and clean the house together

5. Have good conversations about anything

6. Provide financial security

7. Give a big hug on not expected moments

8. Book holidays to exotic places where whe have never been before

These are a few things I have tried and everytime you get this question: What are you thinking of, or do you love me?

So what am I doing wrong here?

Please enlighten me as I really would like to understand the female perspective of love.

Simple. Have you ever tried saying to her (perhaps a minimum of once a month) "I love you very much. I am so glad to have you in my life". ???

SBK, You are a wonderfull person I guess.

But after I do all these things and more, why do I have to ask for some kind of confirmation that she understood that all those things that I do is to show my love?

So if I say what you reccomend me to say will satisfay you (or some other girl) I do not need to do all of the above?

Telling you love someone or showing that are different things.

Alex

[sbk]

And that, my dear alex, is the precise difference between men and women. I cannot understand the difficulties in saying I love you and showing you love someone. I do both, my husband ,manages to do both (most of the time). My father, a very romantic man, did both for his entire marriage, not only doing nice things for my mom but sending her cards and emails on a regular basis telling her how much he loved her. Explain to me, why this seems such a hardship?

[nidge]

And that, my dear alex, is the precise difference between men and women. I cannot understand the difficulties in saying I love you and showing you love someone. I do both, my husband ,manages to do both (most of the time). My father, a very romantic man, did both for his entire marriage, not only doing nice things for my mom but sending her cards and emails on a regular basis telling her how much he loved her. Explain to me, why this seems such a hardship?

I never have any trouble saying "i love you" or showing my love. However my ex-wife made it much more complicated. If i said i love you too often she would say that i am only saying it out of habit and i don't necessarily mean it. If i put extra effort into showing her how much i loved her she would then accuse me of being unfaithful and "sucking up" to try and hide the fact.

the theory of love is simple but the practice is much more difficult.

[sbk]

And that, my dear alex, is the precise difference between men and women. I cannot understand the difficulties in saying I love you and showing you love someone. I do both, my husband ,manages to do both (most of the time). My father, a very romantic man, did both for his entire marriage, not only doing nice things for my mom but sending her cards and emails on a regular basis telling her how much he loved her. Explain to me, why this seems such a hardship?

I never have any trouble saying "i love you" or showing my love. However my ex-wife made it much more complicated. If i said i love you too often she would say that i am only saying it out of habit and i don't necessarily mean it. If i put extra effort into showing her how much i loved her she would then accuse me of being unfaithful and "sucking up" to try and hide the fact.

the theory of love is simple but the practice is much more difficult.

Probably why she is now your ex and my parents were married for 40 years.

[AlexLah]

Ok, I do all those nice things and tell her I love her.

What do we get in return or what is to be expected?

Why men need to do all of those things while women do not?

Please do not start with telling you are suffering from carrying a baby for 9 months and the afterwork.

What is it that a girl can do (ore would do) to show her love to her partner?

Just learning, OK?

[sbk]

Well, if your girlfriend isn't doing those things then there appears to be a problem. But to assume that all women don't do those things is a fallacy.

[zaza]

Ok, I do all those nice things and tell her I love her.

What do we get in return or what is to be expected?

Why men need to do all of those things while women do not?

Please do not start with telling you are suffering from carrying a baby for 9 months and the afterwork.

What is it that a girl can do (ore would do) to show her love to her partner?

Just learning, OK?

Is this the same old gf that you do NOT love her anymore (you had complained about in old threads) or is she a new one??

[AlexLah]

I want to be happy

But I won't be happy

Till I make you happy, too

Life's really worth living

When we are mirth-giving

Why can't I give some to you?

When skies are gray

And you say you are blue

I'll send the sun smiling through

I want to be happy

But I won't be happy

Till I make you happy, too

Nice LaReina!

Zaza, your memory is very good, dammit ha ha ha.

The statement that men are just happier people as they have to worry less about things I think is not true for all men.

Same as that blond girls are a bit less clever.

Same as for some people thinking that men move to Asia because it is easier to find a partner.

Looking back at the relations I have had (never married) I can say they all ended in the same way.

I meet someone I like because of personality and after a while that person moved in and we enjoy life.

But after a while I realise that the partnership is not based on being in love (from my side).

I have asked many friends how it feels being in love and they answer that it is something like that you feel you wanna hug your partner every time you see her/him.

Think of your partner at least a few times a day and mis him/her.

Butterfly in stumick syndrome.

Well, I never had this to be honest

Most guys I know indeed act like the stereotype male as described by the OP.

Many couples I know are together because they are conditioned and follow the same road, that is: Engage, get married, have baby house car and so on.

I think the journey of life is a lesson, whe should learn from our experiences in our current life as much as possible.

But this is against all rules.

No whe should pick a partner marry and create a family.

There are over 5 Billion people living in this world, how you know that the person you are with, is the one for you?

Anyway, maybe I am just thinking too much.

Take care all and have a good life!

Alex

[zaza]

Zaza, your memory is very good, dammit ha ha ha.

I hate my memory too I bet all my Ex's hate it too;cause they could not sell their same stories(lies) twice without being caught by my memory!

The statement that men are just happier people as they have to worry less about things I think is not true for all men.

Same as that blond girls are a bit less clever.

Am not a blond gal But a bit like Bond's gal !

Same as for some people thinking that men move to Asia because it is easier to find a partner.

Looking back at the relations I have had (never married) I can say they all ended in the same way.

I meet someone I like because of personality and after a while that person moved in and we enjoy life.

But after a while I realize that the partnership is not based on being in love (from my side).

It's typical! Cause there is no honest intention or effort to work something out as long as some (men or women) know that there are always other birds on the tree if this bird flee! so with the first serious issue rises up they prefer to leave that person they met or even leave from boredom! .Then relations surviving length will decline from (couple of years relation) to (couple of months relation) to(couple of weeks relation) till (one-night stand) till ending up alone and lonely grumpy !

I have asked many friends how it feels being in love and they answer that it is something like that you feel you wanna hug your partner every time you see her/him.

Think of your partner at least a few times a day and mis him/her.

Butterfly in stumick syndrome.

huh?

Well, I never had this to be honest

Now !That's a good honest confession ! So don't go bragging abt a feeling you never had !

Most guys I know indeed act like the stereotype male as described by the OP.

Many couples I know are together because they are conditioned and follow the same road, that is: Engage, get married, have baby house car and so on.

I think the journey of life is a lesson, whe should learn from our experiences in our current life as much as possible.

But this is against all rules.

No we should pick a partner marry and create a family.

There are over 5 Billion people living in this world, how you know that the person you are with, is the one for you?

You can try your luck with those 5 billion ppl out there.Use either the old theory of (hit or miss) or the Probability method to minimize your quest for the perfect one.

Anyway, maybe I am just thinking too much.

Don't Tink 2 mut !! OK

Alex

Edited October 5, 2007 by zaza

[sbk]

Well, Alex hit the nail on the head. Life and people are never so simple that we can lump them all into one stereotypical genre.

But, I personally believe there is some secret man school that all guys go to to learn certain "guy behaviors". No dirty clothes in the laundry basket for one

But Alex, I think alot of people choose the wrong partner in the first place, thus dooming the relationship from the very start. Its easy to pick inappropriate people --its more difficult to decide this is the right one and stick with them regardless of how difficult things are (assuming, of course, that there is no abuse, but then, of course, if there is abuse that person can hardly be the appropriate person).

[AlexLah]

ZaZa,

Please understand that I just never had this in love feeling as so many of people describe.

I tried to find it by having a relation and hoping that feeling would come as a result.

As I told before, the relations i had were based more on mutual interests.

I realised that recently.

I see most guys just go for the looks but for me every women has something special and interesting.

That is why I like to talk with people, just to find how they think about life.

And sometimes I find a girl that can talk and think about it.

Does that mean this could be my partner?

What makes this 'inlove" feeling?