Toxic Lady

[Stevemercer]

Does this mean all narcissists are toxic? I must admit I'm not really sure what a narcissist is. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?  I suspect we all have degrees of narcissim(?), some more than others. Maybe that means I must be one?

[Lacessit]

The only toxic ladies I have encountered were in Australia. My misfortune to marry one.

[theblether]

21 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

Does this mean all narcissists are toxic? I must admit I'm not really sure what a narcissist is. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?  I suspect we all have degrees of narcissim(?), some more than others. Maybe that means I must be one?

 

Yes. All narcissists are toxic. And male narcissists cause extreme damage to good women. 

 

It's strange people don't understand this personality disorder. Virtually every one of us has witnessed a toxic relationship where Narcissism was the core issue. 

[spidermike007]

Yes. As soon as I read the woman, and see who she is, I run for the hills. Not interested. Not on any level. Not even casually. No thanks. 

[n00dle]

5 hours ago, Dazinoz said:

In the end she demanded a high monthly salary and when I denied she just left in an instant.

 

not seeing the toxicity here.

You had your fun she upped the ante, and when you balked she walked.

It all sounds quite amenable.

As for "love bombing", it is a common tactic for most local professional girlfriends -- I remember when I first got here decades ago being amazed and put off by the fact that a woman I had slept with once could claim to have fallen in love with me. That pattern repeated itself numerous times over the years and i always walked away. 

 

The only issue there is that you bought it.

 

That tactic is the reason I have only settled down with one Thai woman in all the time I lived here. That blew up after a few years, but at least it wasn't due to bull<deleted>, but a mutual amicable growing apart.     

 

Edited Friday at 05:41 AM by n00dle

[n00dle]

1 hour ago, theblether said:

 

Yes. All narcissists are toxic. And male narcissists cause extreme damage to good women. 

 

It's strange people don't understand this personality disorder. Virtually every one of us has witnessed a toxic relationship where Narcissism was the core issue. 

I think any relationship where the partners are vastly unequal is just as damaging and dangerous.

[Dazinoz]

17 minutes ago, n00dle said:

not seeing the toxicity here.

You had your fun she upped the ante, and when you balked she walked.

It all sounds quite amenable.

As for "love bombing", it is a common tactic for most local professional girlfriends -- I remember when I first got here decades ago being amazed and put off by the fact that a woman I had slept with once could claim to have fallen in love with me. That pattern repeated itself numerous times over the years and i always walked away. 

 

The only issue there is that you bought it.

 

That tactic is the reason I have only settled down with one Thai woman in all the time I lived here. That blew up after a few years, but at least it wasn't due to bull<deleted>, but a mutual amicable growing apart.     

 

You don't see the toxicity as you were not involved with her and don't try to claim you know.

 

I didn't say the demand for salary was toxic it was a lot more of her behaviour which i have not bothered listing all on here.

 

I have been here 11 years and have had various relationship but none "love bombed" to the degree she did.

 

You said only issue was I bought it. What did I buy, where did I say I gave her money? She demanded a large salary and I refused to pay that amount. I did agree on a smaller amount but she wasn't happy with that amount so I did not pay.

[Dazinoz]

2 hours ago, theblether said:

Yes. All narcissists are toxic. And male narcissists cause extreme damage to good women. 

 

It's strange people don't understand this personality disorder. Virtually every one of us has witnessed a toxic relationship where Narcissism was the core issue. 

Not just male narcissist do damage, female can do also. I regard myself, as others do, regard myself as a good person and this lady I posted about did a lot of damage to me for a time.

 

Not really strange if people do not understand about NPD because if not involved with a bad one how would you know?

[n00dle]

Just now, Dazinoz said:

 

You said only issue was I bought it. What did I buy, where did I say I gave her money? She demanded a large salary and I refused to pay that amount. I did agree on a smaller amount but she wasn't happy with that amount so I did not pay.

Sorry, I thought you would be conversant in common idiom. bought it means believed, as in "the only issue is that you believed it"  

 

Quote

I did agree on a smaller amount but she wasn't happy with that

hah

 

Quote

You don't see the toxicity as you were not involved with her and don't try to claim you know.

I don't claim to know, I'm commenting based on the information you provided. 

 

Quote

I have been here 11 years and have had various relationship but none "love bombed" to the degree she did.

 

moving in a girl you met in bar -- one with a long-standing history with your acquaintances no less. 

It would seem you are a glutton for punishment.

Say no more. 

[Dazinoz]

5 minutes ago, n00dle said:

moving in a girl you met in bar -- one with a long-standing history with your acquaintances no less. 

I just love the way people on here automatically KNOW everything.

 

Yes I met her in a bar but no moving in either way. And my acquaintances, husband and wife knew her some time back from the bar they frequently drank at and the wife did actually tell me that this girl was nice. Very wrong and the wife now knows this. 

Edited Friday at 06:19 AM by Dazinoz

[thecyclist]

21 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Sure, sometimes they ask me for a drink. And maybe I buy them a drink. And when they show that toxic vibe, then I won't spend any more time with them.

I think it is almost impossible to avoid them completely. But, at least at the beginning, it is easy to walk away from them.

Just don't get that stupid idea that they have really a good heart, and if you try only hard enough, then you will find that good heart and you will be happy ever after. It won't work! 

Wise approach, although once she has moved in with you, it's not that easy to walk away anymore. 

There are a lot of wily ones, whose toxicity transpires only slowly. 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, thecyclist said:

There are a lot of wily ones, whose toxicity transpires only slowly. 

Obviously, we all can never be 100% sure about our (fast) judgement.

But after spending many years in this country and talking to probably thousands of girls, after a while one knows when it's better to walk away.

[CM Dad]

23 hours ago, bob smith said:

...i'll give her the best 30 seconds of her life.

 

the old pump n dump.

 

no more than she deserves by the sound of it!

 

bob.

I'm not surprised that you can only last 30 seconds.