Can I "marry" This Girl

[Rodeo]

As a new member I need some help.

I met a girl in a restaurant in January shes 36 years old and has told me she has been with men for money for about a year previously she worked at the German Embassy for many years & know this is true.

She had a problem left the embassy and started in this resturant.

She not the typical Thai beauty.

I am married in the UK & I tried not to get involved but I have travelled to Thailand many times since and have spent about 17 days with her & have had a great time her English is good & she is real good company.

One night she said she wanted to take me to her home town next trip which is actually in the South & that there would be a party with Family etc & I sort of agreed.

I get back to the Uk & she emails me for my shirt size & is fixing up for a" Marriage Ceremony" which she says is not legal in Thailand or the UK .

She knows I am married...... I said I could not go through with this but she says she has already made the arrangements & spent money.

I have had literally scores of texts & she is now in Hospital having done something to herself she says she has already told her mother & family about the party & now shes is shamed in the village because I said no.

I am feeling very guilty.

I am really quite fond of this........ girl any advice?

Is marriage in a home not legal?

[Nam Kao]

My advice, head upcountry, find an unwesternized 18 y/o virgin, absolutely

beautiful, an orphan is preferrable :'), not thai-chinese, no baggage

Man they are up there, there is a girl across the street that blows away any BKK

/city girl and they marry once and respect their husbands.

Man you are in the drivers seat ! Dont grovel away like we have to in our home

countruies.

Dont settle for second best.

It drives me nuts watching these car accidents in slow motion

[the scouser]

To answer your question, a marriage in Thailand is legally recognised only when registered at a district office (amphur). The ceremony which you've described is more of a blessing and your matrimony would not be enshrined in law. However, in the eyes of your lady's family and the rest of the village you would be married. That's when you'd have to start shelling out for a new TV, fridge, motorbike, etc and your British wife would be wondering why the bank account is devoid of funds.

Scouse.

[rainman]

She knows I am married...... I said I could not go through with this but she says she has already made the arrangements & spent money.

The above quote is very important. The real question here is, are you going to do what she says or are you going to do what you think is right? Obviously, you already made up your mind and told her that you cannot go through with it. But something is telling you that you may lose her if you don't, right? Now, keep your blood in your brain for now, you're gonna need it (just kidding). It seems things with your wife in the UK are not going too great if you started a relationship with this woman here and obviously its going well right now. So really, in my opinion, stay with your wife in the UK if you want to - or get together with your woman in Thailand. Whatever you do, make up your mind now and don't drag both things along at the same time, its gonna make it a lot more difficult.

And finally, don't listen to our (strangers) comments of what you should do with YOUR life.

[acerhodes]

I understand it might not be legal but is it right?

[kurgen]

It drives me nuts watching these car accidents in slow motion

quote of the day I do believe

[REGGIE]

THOUGH YOU COULD GET FREE SEX?

REMEMBER NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE.

[Mango-Guy]

My two satang: 36 year old educated Thai woman, she's know what she's doing, she's manipulating you into a marriage / money relationship. 17 days - that is nothing. I am surprised that no one has stated the obvious, you are being a FOOL to continue with this woman. She may be lovely (though apparently not so easy on the eyes) but her methods are very very suspect. Cut your losses. Step 1: as you are a Newbie spend a full day reading posts in the Farang Pub and that will help put things in perspective. Step 2: Tell her your UK wife found out and is suing you, and you can't come back to Thailand and you can't contact her anymore. Step 3: If you really want to find someone in Thailand, do it slowly and without any ultimatums.

As Rainman says, if you're posting the problem here, you already know in your heart what the answer is (need to extricate yourslef).

NK, that's the second time you have made that comment (that I have read) I will have a stern word with you later. ;-)

[john b good]

To answer your question, a marriage in Thailand is legally recognised only when registered at a district office (amphur). The ceremony which you've described is more of a blessing and your matrimony would not be enshrined in law. However, in the eyes of your lady's family and the rest of the village you would be married. That's when you'd have to start shelling out for a new TV, fridge, motorbike, etc and your British wife would be wondering why the bank account is devoid of funds.

Scouse.

I believe that you might still have a problem trying to convince the authorities in England that you have not re-married (whilst still being married to your English rose)

The last time I read a court report in a bigamy case the words that were used to describe the event (the 2nd marriage) was that the person had "gone through the form of a marriage"

It did not mention getting it registered (anywhere)

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Two choices here I think. Head north or head for Blighty. Undertake a course in growing up.

[cobra]

Just wait until she starts crying in public, (yes, they can cry on queue with real tears), or even worse, the classic dropping to her knees and hanging on to your leg while you try to extricate yourself from the whole situation, most cave under this full quilt assault.

Option One:

Nothing takes the taste of humiliation away like money, give her some. Not the bank but enough for her to save face, maybe to buy her a little something she can show off. You may even be able to remain friends.

Option Two:

Do nothing. Chalk it up to experience, you made no promises (or did you?), you treated her kind and with respect, right ?

OK then, the healing begins, who's buying ......

[rod_kalashnikov]

 

[elsie]

I am feeling very guilty.

I hope for cheating on your wife. Your Thai woman has been trying to trap you into marriage, in which you both know you are already married. She's a grown up. She has proceeded the whole ceremony thing without discussing it with you. IMHO, it's time for her to grow up and take responsibilities from her own doing, and for you to be faithful to your wife.

I wouldn't suggest you to go with the flow as I do know it would be much harder down the road. And you would find yourself in deeper <deleted> than you are in now.

[possom]

you have spent 17 days together !!! lol for <deleted>**s sake GROW UP !!!!!!!

[meemiathai]

I am feeling very guilty.

I hope for cheating on your wife. Your Thai woman has been trying to trap you into marriage, in which you both know you are already married. She's a grown up. She has proceeded the whole ceremony thing without discussing it with you. IMHO, it's time for her to grow up and take responsibilities from her own doing, and for you to be faithful to your wife.

I wouldn't suggest you to go with the flow as I do know it would be much harder down the road. And you would find yourself in deeper <deleted> than you are in now.

Agree 100%!

And Rodeo, should we have a party on your 18-year old birthday?

[exp9696]

She is 36 years ,en ASHAMED

DOC another one for the section " FUNERALS IN THAILAND "

[Falang Pan]

I am really quite fond of this........ girl any advice?

Yeah ... quit thinking with your cock!

For a lot of us guys, the cock is not an accessory to be disciplined.

I agree that the girl has overstepped the man's boundaries, and deserves to loose any face she looses. The woman does not understand boundaries, and that does not bode well for any relationship with her.

I agree Rod that sex and love drive a man to crazy things, but what can you do. I'm gratefull for testosterone.

[elsie]

And as a woman, I am grateful for it too

[davethailand]

Is this for real?

Come on mate, you don't really need advice on this do you?

MARRY HER and give her lots of money.

only kidding. tell her to p*** off.

Don't fall for it. she sounds like an ex i had once, nutter

[bodypaul]

nice one Cutie

[acerhodes]

I think most of the advice given here is cynical & callous.

Rodeo never used the word sex in his plea for some warm experienced advice from so called Knowlegeable Farangs.

I think the girl must love you Rodeo otherwise she would not want to Marry you.

Make sure you do not register the Marriage & have a great experience.

I suspect the local Thias will create a great day for you.

Be careful that your wife does not find out about this.

You should then have many happy hours of good company with your "Thia Wife" in the future.

Trust me...... go on Marry her and let us all Know how you get on.

[davethailand]

I think most of the advice given here is cynical & callous.

Rodeo never used the word sex in his plea for some warm experienced advice from so called Knowlegeable Farangs.

I think the girl must love you Rodeo otherwise she would not want to Marry you.

Make sure you do not register the Marriage & have a great experience.

I suspect the local Thias will create a great day for you.

Be careful that your wife does not find out about this.

You should then have many happy hours of good company with your "Thia Wife" in the future.

Trust me...... go on Marry her and let us all Know how you get on.

Rodeo, trust me, DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE, i think he's either pissed or having a laugh, either way don't follow it.

[acerhodes]

Rodeo I am neither pissed nor having a laugh I just have more heart than these other guys and probably more experience.

Have faith ...go for it

[TizMe]

Rodeo I am neither pissed nor having a laugh I just have more heart than these other guys and probably more experience.

Have faith ...go for it

Maybe more heart.... but definately less brain.

[davethailand]

Rodeo I am neither pissed nor having a laugh I just have more heart than these other guys and probably more experience.

Have faith ...go for it

So your saying that you would fall for this and marry her acerhodes?

read rodeos original post again, he's only been with her for 17 days and after he agreed to meet her family all of a sudden they're getting married!

would that be because she has secret motives?

who's family have to be paid off to marry?

she's genuinely not trying to stitch him up?

if you have experience of this then i'm wondering how much cash you've lost or how many times your hearts been broken?

cheers

davethailand

[Khutan]

an orphan is preferrable :'), not thai-chinese, no baggage

Umm if she is an orphan why would she have baggage ???

[andyinkat]

QUOTE 

an orphan is preferrable :'), not thai-chinese, no baggage

Umm if she is an orphan why would she have baggage ???

Er, parents viciously tortured and mutilated before her eyes?

Parents don't want her so take a taxi to a remote spot and throw her out to fend fo rherself (not exactly an orphan but same same; I found myself taking in a wee lad under such circumstances and he was an emotion wreck for a time)?

Fending for herself in the jungle law of the streets?

Plenty other possibilities.

[dfwbkk]

Troll, troll, trolling away...

Someone trying to push you into a corner - and you go: why not?

Come on - wakey wakey...

/// DFW

[dfwbkk]

Have faith ...go for it

Maybe more heart.... but definately less brain.

aye...

[Rhys]

A NO BRAINER...... The SAGE warriors have said it all... ADIOS this Golddigger