Trump’s Crypto Con: Givin’ The Oval Office a Blockchain Handy

[Lewie London]

So I’m loungin’ in this quiet, cozy coworkin’ space in Nimmanhaemin today, sippin’ on a cold brew and tryin’ to finally get some graft done, when this geezer, a full-blown MAGA muppet, plonks himself down next to me. Starts bangin’ on about Trump’s crypto capers, askin’ if I’ve copped any of his coins. I nearly dumped me latte in his lap. The president’s turned the Oval bleedin’ Office into a crypto casino, and he’s the house, the dealer, and the dodgy punter riggin’ the machines behind the curtain.

 

Turns out, Trump’s got his grubby mitts in more crypto schemes than a washed-up YouTuber floggin’ knock-off NFTs. He’s hawkin’ $TRUMP coins, $MELANIA tokens, and runnin’ some shifty outfit called World Liberty Financial. And get this: some Chinese firm with no proper revenue just lobbed $300 million into his crypto empire. Sounds more like a backstreet launderette for dodgy cash than a legit investment, don’t it? Funny that, thought he was meant to be takin’ a hard line on China, but there he is, takin’ their dosh with both hands and a wink.

 

But it don’t stop there. Nah, he’s throwin’ posh nosh dinners for the big $TRUMP coin holders at his golf clubs, right? Price of admission? A fat wedge lobbed into his digital ponzi. It’s like a high-stakes pay-to-play racket, where foreign wide boys can buy themselves a seat at the table and whisper sweet nothings into the ear of the actual president. Real backhander politics, no two ways about it.

 

Even the Yanks in suits have clocked it now, senators callin’ it a “profoundly corrupt scheme” that’s puttin’ national security on the line and stompin’ all over public trust like a pair of muddy boots in a mosque. They’re draftin’ up laws to ban presidents and their kin from cashin’ in on crypto scams. ’Bout bloody time, if you ask me.

 

And here’s the real corker: some new report reckons nearly 40% of the bloke’s entire net worth is now wrapped up in these dodgy crypto coins. That’s around $2.9 billion, give or take a yacht. So we ain’t talkin’ about some cheeky side hustle here, it’s half his bleedin’ fortune stashed in funny money that he’s been pumpin’ like a nightclub toilet.

 

But hang about, wasn’t he skint not that long ago? Up to his eyeballs in legal bills, cryin’ poor mouth and passin’ the collection plate like he’s the MAGA messiah? And now, outta nowhere, he’s a crypto billionaire swannin’ about like he’s Satoshi fackin’ Nakamoto. Hard not to wonder why he was so desperate to nab the job again, innit? Looks less like public service and more like a personal get-rich-quick scheme. He ain’t runnin’ the country, he’s runnin’ a crypto stall out the back of the WH, shoutin’ “Roll up, roll up!” like he’s floggin’ knock-off perfume at a Sunday market.

 

So here we are, watchin’ the president turn politics into a blockchain hustle, while ethics get chucked in the skip and democracy takes a right shoein’. It’s a farce, mates, and the bloke’s laughin’ all the way to the crypto bank, pockets bulgin’ and conscience nowhere to be seen.

[blaze master]

Thanks for posting your daily preaching sermon. 

 

Thrilling stuff.

[BLMFem]

Yep, the conversion from presidential administration to full blooded crime empire is progressing at a rapid pace.

[hotsun]

Trump coin afforded me a new yacht. Sounds like OP missed the boat, pun intended

[Magictoad]

Sometimes I get the impression you are not a Trump supporter!😱

[Tug]

Amazing isn’t it…instead of going to Europe on his first overseas trip (you know were they are facing Russian aggression) he chooses to go to the land of the (religion of peace) the folks who hate the great satan…..the USA….to launch his crypto scam and get a free flying whore house that we the taxpayers have to fix up.meanwhile here in the states he’s pushing his tax break for billionaires…….amazing indeed!!perhaps that’s why I’m not seeing any trump hats or swag……perhaps they are starting to snap out of it hope so.