Variations On A Theme: Thai Women And Foreign Husbands

[Lancashirelad]

To me, this seems informed and well written, but then who am i to know?

From the International Herald Tribune..

Variations on a theme: Thai women and foreign husbands

By Richard Bernstein Published: August 12, 2007

Ban Cao, THAILAND: The main road leading through this village of 800

people in Thailand's northeast mostly runs through a scene of rural

dishevelment, simple shacks with the ubiquitous rusted corrugated

roofs, ragged clumps of banana trees and palms, and, here and there,

a simple open-air restaurant or grocery store.

But next to the Ban Cao post office is a sort of anomaly: an imposing

iron gate leads to a spacious house with verandas, a sloping tile

roof, a garage, a well-tended garden with sculptures and lawns. It is

one of several like it in this otherwise nondescript Thai town not

far from Udon Thani, which was an American air base during the

Vietnam War.

Are these the weekend getaways of Bangkok businessmen who have

decided for some reason to build here, not far from the Mekong River

and the border with Laos, rather than on some island resort like

Phuket or Ko Samui? Not at all.

"Normally in the northeast when you see a big house, you know that

this house belongs to a foreigner who has married a Thai woman," Adul

Khankeaw, Ban Cao's headman, explained. "And if you go to buy a new

motorbike or car and pay cash, the salesman will ask you if you or

one of your relatives is married to a foreigner."

Thailand, of course, has always attracted foreign men interested in

the local women, not least of course during the Vietnam War when the

country was the favored "rest and recreation" destination for tens of

thousands of GIs, as well as construction workers, Air America

pilots, diplomats and journalists.

And, while the GIs are long gone, this country has, almost ever since

the Vietnam War ended, been one of the chief sex tourism capitals of

the world.

Even a relatively remote place like Udon Thani, which is the local

provincial capital, shows the marks of this. "Great Food, Drinks,

Pool, Girls" is the way one restaurant advertises its offerings on

the official map distributed by the town's hotels.

But what those imposing houses in Ban Cao show is a variation on the

theme of Thai women and foreign men. They are the homes of men,

mostly middle-aged and older, who have married local women, in many

instances former bar girls whom they met in Bangkok or Pattaya, the

two major centers of the Thai sex trade, and settled down in

retirement in rural Thailand.

Usually an economic consideration has entered into these marriages at

the outset. Quite clearly, comely Thai women are marrying European

men, often 20 or 30 or even 40 years older than they are, because of

the economic advantage of it to them. And for the men, they have

companionship, an easy life in a country very cheap by Western

standards, and somebody to look after them as they get older.

"At first it wasn't about love but for a better life," acknowledged

one woman, Supee, 45 years old, who is married to a retired German

named Peter, aged 62. Peter was a tourist in Thailand when they met

21 years ago and, after living in Germany for most of the years

since, they moved to Ban Cao, Supee's native village.

"I didn't like him so much at first," another Thai married to a

European man said of her husband, a retired French oil engineer named

Jean-Claude. She gave her name as Boonyong, and she was working as a

waitress in Bangkok (she was not in the sex trade) when Jean-Claude

met her on a visit and asked her to live with him.

"I said, 'O.K.,' because I had just lost my father and now I could go

home and be with my mother, which is what I wanted," Boonyong said.

In Ban Cao alone, out of 180 families, 30 local women have married

foreigners. There's a village in Roi Et Province, the Thai press has

reported, where 200 women are married to foreigners, the majority of

them German and Swiss. There are only 500 families in the entire

village.

About 15 percent of all marriages in the northeast, a study published

by Khon Kaen University found, are now between Thai women and foreign

men. Most of the men are Europeans, but there are upwards of 300 or

so Americans, many of them veterans of the Vietnam War who were based

in Udon Thani in the 1960s and early 1970s and are living here, most

of them with Thai wives as well.

There is a sort of calculated redemption on both sides of these

marriages.

Many of the women have painful stories, of working as prostitutes, of

abandonment by Thai husbands and boyfriends, of children they couldn't

afford to take care of. They make no secret of the fact that marrying

some nice, older foreign man saved both them and their extended

families from poverty and unhappiness.

And as for the men, many of them are divorced or unhappily married

back home. They came to Thailand for a brief touristic encounter with

the local sex-for-sale industry and ended up staying for life.

The truth is that deceit and tragedy, along with happy stories, are

part of the picture. Houses and land, by law, have to be owned by

Thais, and so there have been cases where Thai wives simply

expropriated the properties built for them by their foreign husbands

whom they expelled, and then invited their Thai boyfriends to move in

with them.

"I've seen terrible things here," Killy said. "Some women are married

to Thai men and they tell their foreign boyfriends that they are their

brothers. So they sit together and eat together, and the foreigner

even buys a motorbike for the Thai 'brother.' "

Still, it's easy to meet what seem like normally happy couples here.

According to that university study, marrying a foreigner not so long

ago carried a stigma. Now, asked what they want for their daughters,

90 percent of the inhabitants of the Thai northeast replied: "I want

for them to marry a foreigner."

[lannarebirth]

A lot of dubious generalities in that article, but this "fact" I find astonishing: "About 15 percent of all marriages in the northeast, a study published by Khon Kaen University found, are now between Thai women and foreign men". If it's true, i can only put it down to the vast of Thai/Thai marriages must not be registered.

[soundman]

A lot of dubious generalities in that article, but this "fact" I find astonishing: "About 15 percent of all marriages in the northeast, a study published by Khon Kaen University found, are now between Thai women and foreign men". If it's true, i can only put it down to the vast of Thai/Thai marriages must not be registered.

Yeah, I reckon the figures are a bit off, maybe by a factor of ten...

[Etrigan]

I hate articles like this.

Six references to the sex trade, and one specific ref to "non-sex" trade. Generalisations that would have the world believe that foreign men enter loveless agreements to the financial benefit of the locals.

Pathetic. Just like the BBC when they feel compelled to write yet another article about the sex trade.

Well, some men and women (regardless of nationality) here do love each other and wish to remain together for life and love.

'nuff said!

[Khun ?]

For the most part sounds true, with maybe a bit being Exaggerated.

I really cannot remember meeting a foreigner married to a Thai that was not divorced from a home country girl.

I am sure there is some in the younger crowd that has not been married before, but I would not be hanging around

the younger crowd areas to meet such people.. Been there done that before and never bought till after marriage had ended outside of Titland.

[Nignoy]

Some of the first Isaan ladies to marry British men was in the Leong Nok Tha , Mukdaharn area , in 1963/64 these were village girls from the area, It was only in late 64 that the first Bargirls drifted in from Ubon and Udon, in all of the Towns where US forces were based , there were already mini american townships shooting out of the ground, hundreds of houses built for mia nois, The town ships in Korat and Ubon were huge, with their own bars and VD clinics, many of the girls dreamt of being married and going to the states, and so the Rest and Recuperation Reputation of beautiful willing Pattaya ladies was born!! and the culture of commercial thai brides reared its ugly head.Some of us who actually lived in Thailand over 40 years ago, courted and married our thai girlfriends in a normal relationship,I recieved a 5 baht gold chain as an engagement present. My marriage was anulled by the british government in august 1968, we are still friends ,and my english wife is as much at home with our extended thai family as with her english relatives,of course there are lots of european style houses in isaan, there has been a huge influx of farangs over the years, But I think the writer of the Herald article might have never really set foot outside his Bangkok Hotel Nignoy

[lazeeboy]

Some of the first Isaan ladies to marry British men was in the Leong Nok Tha , Mukdaharn area , in 1963/64 these were village girls from the area, It was only in late 64 that the first Bargirls drifted in from Ubon and Udon, in all of the Towns where US forces were based , there were already mini american townships shooting out of the ground, hundreds of houses built for mia nois, The town ships in Korat and Ubon were huge, with their own bars and VD clinics, many of the girls dreamt of being married and going to the states, and so the Rest and Recuperation Reputation of beautiful willing Pattaya ladies was born!! and the culture of commercial thai brides reared its ugly head.Some of us who actually lived in Thailand over 40 years ago, courted and married our thai girlfriends in a normal relationship,I recieved a 5 baht gold chain as an engagement present. My marriage was anulled by the british government in august 1968, we are still friends ,and my english wife is as much at home with our extended thai family as with her english relatives,of course there are lots of european style houses in isaan, there has been a huge influx of farangs over the years, But I think the writer of the Herald article might have never really set foot outside his Bangkok Hotel Nignoy

maybe the writer nas'nt even been to thailand ,15% is a huge amount of mixed marriages ,i think 3-4% is closer ........

[TAWP]

As someone mentioned, a lot of marriges are not registered. Infact, many of the husbands and wifes I meet here in BKK, including older relatives, are in blessings only...never got a good reason for why.

[Sanpatong]

Pathetic. Just like the BBC when they feel compelled to write yet another article about the sex trade.

Yes, and then when the editor realizes it needs a picture, they grab a picture off the shelf of a typical tourist bar in BKK or Pattaya. If it needs video, they have a reporter walk through Soi Cowboy for his introduction. And hey presto, linking Western tourists with child abuse.

Nice journalism, no really.

Edited August 16, 2007 by Sanpatong

[Nignoy]

For the most part sounds true, with maybe a bit being Exaggerated.

I really cannot remember meeting a foreigner married to a Thai that was not divorced from a home country girl.

I am sure there is some in the younger crowd that has not been married before, but I would not be hanging around

the younger crowd areas to meet such people.. Been there done that before and never bought till after marriage had ended outside of Titland.

If the british government had not decided my wife was a security risk and anulled our marriage this Farang would have been married to my FIRST wife 45 years next march,and back in 1963 I was the Younger crowd in Isaan

Nignoy