If You Could Become Thai

[The Gentleman Scamp]

If you could become Thai for 48hrs with the aid of special magic or medicine that turned your hair black, your skin caramel, your eyes hazel and sunk the bridge of your nose, then what would you do?

Personally, I'm buggered if I know but would be interested to hear others comments, especially those living in Farangland.

Thai's could reply from the point of view of them being able to become farang for 48hrs.

Wheather or not you'd also aquire the ability to speak Thai to a standard which would put Andrew Biggs to shame is up yo your imaginations.

[Rinrada]

Personally, I'm buggered if I

Male or Female..... or of the 3rd persuasion

[Gazza]

Quote: If you could become Thai for 48hrs with the aid of special magic or medicine that turned your hair black, your skin caramel, your eyes hazel and sunk the bridge of your nose, then what would you do?

I'd do the same as what Thais would do........Sleep for 2 days!!!!

Gazza

[rainman]

Make money with my family's sick buffalo.

[Spellbound]

·Wear a smart suit and a pair of lime green flip-flops.

·Ask a person where they have been when they are carrying 6 Robinsons shopping bags.

·Use the expression ‘Lot Tit’ (traffic is bad) more than 20 times in the same day.

·Go swimming with all my clothes on .

·Put sugar on the sweetest fruit .

·Carry my bus fare in my ear .

·Watch a whole movie through the window of a video shop .

·Stand at a bus stop, but run towards the bus when it appears on the horizon .

·Irritate everyone on the sky-train by talking loudly on your mobile phone and saying ‘khap’ a lot.

·Actually start smiling while watching a game show on TV .

·Enjoy looking at other people’s crappy holiday photos .

·Carry a little poodle around the supermarket.

·Stand in the express checkout line at the supermarket with enough shopping to feed an army .

·Buy the largest box of popcorn physically possible, and go into the movie theatre ten minutes after the film starts.

·Spend 5 hours choosing a lottery ticket .

·Read all the books and magazines in a book-shop before deciding not to buy anything .

·Listen to the TV or radio about 10 decibels louder than it needs to be .

·Cover my head with a sheet of soggy newspaper during a rain-storm .

·Order a Big Mac, large french fries, massive Coke, and an ice-cream, and only finish the ice-cream .

·Walk on the footpath as slowly as I can in a zig-zag pattern .

·Produce about 50 different kinds of plastic at a supermarket check-out before realising the one you want is still at home.

·Dilute my whisky with enough soda to render it virtually colourless (and still get pissed).

·Stand at the mouth of an escalator and have an in-depth conversation.

·Try to get into an elevator / skytrain / subway carriage before everyone else gets out .

·Order the hottest dish on a menu, and then spend the next ten minutes telling everyone dining with you how hot it is.

·Put a toilet roll in a gaudy looking box on the coffee table instead of in the toilet

·Stand around and gawp at a supermarket display of shampoo because there’s 2 baht off .

·Manage to fall asleep on the washing line .

·Adopt the same routine for 52 weekends a year.

·Pride myselk on not knowing where the southern bus terminal is,Or where Malaysia is .

·Own a tape cassette collection of 120 tapes, of which 119 of them are soundtracks .

·Have posters on my wall which include two babies kissing each other, and one of that tennis girl scratching her arse .

·Park my car in the living room of my shop-house

·Organise a trip to Pattaya, which includes a guitar, an enormous ice-box, and five people who all turn up three hours late .

Think I am the best singer in Thialand, and spend by last 100 baht in a Kareoke Bar.

If a female, get in a Taxi and text the number of the cab to a friend.

Try to get a FALANG as a new PET

[cobra]

Spell, best post of the day, (I'm still laughing)

[MadFrankie]

you forgot to include....

Stop at every cash machine you see, put your card in 3 times and then walk away 10 minutes later without withdrawing any cash!

[Pepe']

Spellbound,

You've got it down dude...

[Begs]

Oh i know..................

Stop moaning and complaining for 48 hours.

Now wouldn't that be novel for most farangs

[whattodo]

·Wear a smart suit and a pair of lime green flip-flops.

·Ask a person where they have been when they are carrying 6 Robinsons shopping bags.

·Use the expression ‘Lot Tit’ (traffic is bad) more than 20 times in the same day.

·Go swimming with all my clothes on .

·Put sugar on the sweetest fruit .

·Carry my bus fare in my ear .

·Watch a whole movie through the window of a video shop .

·Stand at a bus stop, but run towards the bus when it appears on the horizon .

·Irritate everyone on the sky-train by talking loudly on your mobile phone and saying ‘khap’ a lot.

·Actually start smiling while watching a game show on TV .

·Enjoy looking at other people’s crappy holiday photos .

·Carry a little poodle around the supermarket.

·Stand in the express checkout line at the supermarket with enough shopping to feed an army .

·Buy the largest box of popcorn physically possible, and go into the movie theatre ten minutes after the film starts.

·Spend 5 hours choosing a lottery ticket .

·Read all the books and magazines in a book-shop before deciding not to buy anything .

·Listen to the TV or radio about 10 decibels louder than it needs to be .

·Cover my head with a sheet of soggy newspaper during a rain-storm .

·Order a Big Mac, large french fries, massive Coke, and an ice-cream, and only finish the ice-cream .

·Walk on the footpath as slowly as I can in a zig-zag pattern .

·Produce about 50 different kinds of plastic at a supermarket check-out before realising the one you want is still at home.

·Dilute my whisky with enough soda to render it virtually colourless (and still get pissed).

·Stand at the mouth of an escalator and have an in-depth conversation.

·Try to get into an elevator / skytrain / subway carriage before everyone else gets out .

·Order the hottest dish on a menu, and then spend the next ten minutes telling everyone dining with you how hot it is.

·Put a toilet roll in a gaudy looking box on the coffee table instead of in the toilet

·Stand around and gawp at a supermarket display of shampoo because there’s 2 baht off .

·Manage to fall asleep on the washing line .

·Adopt the same routine for 52 weekends a year.

·Pride myselk on not knowing where the southern bus terminal is,Or where Malaysia is .

·Own a tape cassette collection of 120 tapes, of which 119 of them are soundtracks .

·Have posters on my wall which include two babies kissing each other, and one of that tennis girl scratching her arse .

·Park my car in the living room of my shop-house

·Organise a trip to Pattaya, which includes a guitar, an enormous ice-box, and five people who all turn up three hours late .

Think I am the best singer in Thialand, and spend by last 100 baht in a Kareoke Bar.

If a female, get in a Taxi and text the number of the cab to a friend.

Try to get a FALANG as a new PET

Classic !

I am pissing myself

[Snapshot]

Spellbound Posted: Sun 2004-07-25, 01:45:02

I am spell bound of your keen observations of Thai people. (I could add a few myself, but won't... I would rather like you to take all the credit for this hilarious post)

NOW, would you kindly make one for us "farang" here in Bangkok (Thailand)

[Thetyim]

Welcome back Spellbound, where have you been ?

Now stop cleaning all those cars and do as Snapshot says, give us a falang version

[20yearsinthai]

Couple more

Sit around all day and every 30 seconds say "lone" or ("hone" for isaaners)

Wash my hand before taking a piss.

Eat food at every possible opporitunity

cut in front of as many people as i can at the local 7/11

[cutethaigirl]

Now stop cleaning all those cars and do as Snapshot says, give us a falang version

Here are a couple

Wear the most ridiculous clothes that were NEVER in fashion anywhere and walk around thinking you are cool in Pattaya..

Go around wai'ing ladies of the night.

BELIEVE it when a girl 1/3 your age and 1/10th your size says 'you are handsome man'.

Sit in an internet cafe and swear in German at the slower that western connection.

Use ridiculously bad Thai language to order things and then complain when they are not what YOU really wanted...in English!

Sit in the internet cafe for 40 minutes then storm out without paying saying the connection is slow.

Rent a motorbike and ride it like a mad person ignoring every traffic rule.

Rent a motorbike a say ' I no speak Thai' when the traffic cop stops you as a defence.

Take a girl of the night to a place where they are not generally welcome and wonder why everyone is smiling at you.

Get up half wat throught the afternoon and drink beer for 'breakfast'

Go to the bank and start to shout loudly if the bank will not do exactly what you THINK is right instantly.

Complain that documents in Thailand are written in Thai.

Think' same same ' 'i go you' 'me uk man' i come thailand many time now and more are core words in the Thai language.

Start every sentence with "where i come from we " usually followed by a method of doing something 'better'.

Think every girl in Thailand loves you.

Think every girl in Thailand needs your money.

Must be a few more. I will observe more as i walk out with my friends today.

Here is another from the North and Islands.

Wear clothes that Thai people would never be seen dead in. Never cut the hair and have dirty feet.

CT

[tuky]

Great CT, give it back to em.

If I was Thai for a day I would get in thaivisa and do exactly what cutethaigirl just did

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Thanks Cute. Well done

[Begs]

Very good, haaha

[Tornado]

I would teach you Thai Scampy, then maybe you would stop posting on Thaivisa and get yourself a life other than this one on here.

For a guy that sounds desperate to do something about his circumstances, I cannot understand why you are not out looking for work?

You must be in front of Bluecat by now

[kurgen]

Spend 2 days picking my nose and letting doors slam in peoples faces

[Bluecat]

You must be in front of Bluecat by now

I sent him off.

He should be back soon on the forum.

If I was Thai for 48 hours, I would organize a "talk" meeting with the Thai I know.

As many as possible.

Talk to them for 48 hours.

As one of them.

I'm sure it would help me understand them better.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

·Walk on the footpath as slowly as I can in a zig-zag pattern .

Excellent Spellbound - especially this one!

It's nice to know I've posted another floater and not a sinker.

Cute Thaigirl - excellent also, we do like to laugh at ourselves us farang.

[Englishman]

I'd get drunk on Surin Whisky and sing 'Motosai Hang' at the top of my voice.

... What a great song. Now where's that mic?

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I would teach you Thai Scampy, then maybe you would stop posting on Thaivisa and get yourself a life other than this one on here.

For a guy that sounds desperate to do something about his circumstances, I cannot understand why you are not out looking for work?

You must be in front of Bluecat by now

This thread is the most Bluecat thread I have started thus far.

BTW, I can speak Thai to a passable standard and on a slightly more serious note, this is my social life Torn, it saves money being on here.

I can't be out looking for work late on a Saturday night and I'd have a better chance of finding work on the net anyway, as most of the jobs in the BKK Post have gone before going to press.

That's what the old ex oil worker I met in the noodle place told me anyway.

[Spellbound]

Welcome back Spellbound, where have you been ?

Now stop cleaning all those cars and do as Snapshot says, give us a falang version

Ok,, just a few crazy things we do !!!!!!!!!!! in Thai eyes.

Pay for house's you can never own. ( that's one for you Thetyim)

Lie in the sun.

Take photos of Tuk-tuks.

Chase Thai girls that no respecting Thai man would look at.

Take photos of the traffic jams.

Barter at the market, then still think they got the best price.

Wear string round their wrist.

Wear fake Rolex or Gucci watches.

Wai positively everyone they meet.

Eat with just a fork.

Request no ice in drinks.

Drink beer without ice.

Tip taxi drivers and barbers.

Get drunk in public.

Leave your beautiful countries to come and live in Thailand.

Succumb to the 'attractions' of Patpong etc.

Wear shorts in a city.

Eat the skin of an apple.

Feel sorry for the stray dogs.

Kiss and hug old friends.

Tell racist jokes.

Not love thier mum and dad, put them in a home out of the way.

Don't believe in ghosts.

Buy loads of knives, when a single meat cleaver will do.

Want different glasses for different drinks ( When a plactic cup will do for all ).

Sweat like a pig, even though it cold.

Aknowlege to the security guards at car parks.

Use 1/2 a toilet roll to clean your butt.

Offer your seat on the Sky Train to Older people.

Hold a door open for others.

Maybe more later, but there you are a 50-50 view of life in Thailand.

[Narachon]

If you could become Thai for 48hrs with the aid of special magic or medicine that turned your hair black, your skin caramel, your eyes hazel and sunk the bridge of your nose, then what would you do?

.....Well, I for one don't need any special magic or medicine for that to happen to me ...

But to be Thai for 48 hours? I'd probably be able to do far more things , at a resonable price.......

Now if you said what would I do if I was a Thai WOMAN for 48 hours, I would have quite a list.....

[cobra]

Welcome back Spellbound, where have you been ?

Now stop cleaning all those cars and do as Snapshot says, give us a falang version

Ok,, just a few crazy things we do !!!!!!!!!!! in Thai eyes.

Pay for house's you can never own. ( that's one for you Thetyim)

Lie in the sun.

Take photos of Tuk-tuks.

Chase Thai girls that no respecting Thai man would look at.

Take photos of the traffic jams.

Barter at the market, then still think they got the best price.

Wear string round their wrist.

Wear fake Rolex or Gucci watches.

Wai positively everyone they meet.

Eat with just a fork.

Request no ice in drinks.

Drink beer without ice.

Tip taxi drivers and barbers.

Get drunk in public.

Leave your beautiful countries to come and live in Thailand.

Succumb to the 'attractions' of Patpong etc.

Wear shorts in a city.

Eat the skin of an apple.

Feel sorry for the stray dogs.

Kiss and hug old friends.

Tell racist jokes.

Not love thier mum and dad, put them in a home out of the way.

Don't believe in ghosts.

Buy loads of knives, when a single meat cleaver will do.

Want different glasses for different drinks ( When a plactic cup will do for all ).

Sweat like a pig, even though it cold.

Aknowlege to the security guards at car parks.

Use 1/2 a toilet roll to clean your butt.

Offer your seat on the Sky Train to Older people.

Hold a door open for others.

Maybe more later, but there you are a 50-50 view of life in Thailand.

Spell, you've done it again, excellent, you should be writing Letterman's "Top 10" lists,

I like to add that none of those things apply to me mind you, only to all other farangs ....

[Insight]

Perhaps one of the most amusing and satisfying threads I’ve read on this forum. Top stuff guys…

[hkthai]

Here's a few more from the Thai's eye.

Say This is Thailand 50 times a day.

Walk down the street like it belongs to me.

Steamroll out of an elevator or subway and knock over whoever is in my way.

Haggle over 10 baht even though the original price is only 20 baht.

Take a shower once a day.

Weare speedos at the beach.

Wonder why everything is in Thai.

Leave the brains at the check immigration counter of Don Muang (some would say picked up a Thai brain upon arrival).

Drink warm beer.

[naja]

Spellbound,if I were Bangkok Phil I would sue you for violating my intellectual property [sic] rights.

What do ajarn falang say about Thai students not been able to think.....?

[Harry Palmer]

do lots of shopping & travel everywhere by tuk-tuk... i would save loads of cash by not having to pay the inflated farang rates...