3 minutes ago, gamb00ler said:

I disagree because in most neutral contexts 'judge' does not have a negative connotation. Judges are everywhere in our culture and are assumed have neutrality as their goal. Webster says:

The word "judge" carries a divided set of connotations, spanning from highly analytical and positive to deeply condemning and negative. While it fundamentally means to evaluate, discern, or form an opinion, its secondary meaning often leans into moral criticism, superiority, and punishment.

I guess.. I should have realized that the AN context by itself sadly assumes negativity.

For sure in 'neutral contexts' absolutely......but all one seems to hear, certainly in the UK, is the word used in a defensive and sometimes almost confrontational manner....Societies are so divided in the West nowadays, it's hard to have an opinion without being accused of being judgemental..............shame that, as it tends to shut down any further discourse that might alleviate stronger opinion.........

9 hours ago, rattlesnake said:

P.S. I never make a turn or change lanes without checking first… but then again I have actual motorcyle training (licence obtained in France 20 years ago).

You mean she was good looking? 😉

I had the good fortune to participate in motorcycle training a couple of years after I started riding (1975). In my area the Motorcycle Safety Foundation co-operated with local dealers to provide bikes and training for new riders. I signed up for the instructors course which improved my skills. I only taught a few weeklong courses but I found it very rewarding.

She was attractive enough to make me wish I was born 3 decades later.

Never bothered me, being a former soccer referee and a member of the UK Police Service. Everything went over my head!

On 5/20/2026 at 3:17 AM, 123Stodg said:

I think being judged is worse.

Being disliked is fair enough really. Nobody is obliged to like anybody else. Sometimes personalities just clash. Some people annoy you within about four seconds of dropping in a daft post about something as mundane as haircuts, nighttime beach parties, or food labelling regulations and there is not even a logical explanation for it.

That feels normal.

But being judged feels different because it usually comes with this strange undertone of moral superiority, as if somebody has completely figured you out from one opinion, one comment, or one awkward interaction at a Xmas party piss up in Patts three years back.

You especially see it online.

A bloke writes one negative sounding comment about disliking close personal relationships with other farangs in Thailand and suddenly strangers are diagnosing him as “an absolutely miserable git” while sitting there eating mama noodles with spicy dried squid in their pants at 2am hammering away at the keyboard.

Someone says they enjoy living alone near Soi Buakhao because of the convenient access to food and immediately people start acting like they are one step away from becoming a beer-bar panty sniffer.

Or another geezer might talk about going to Pattaya, not only for the ladyboys, but to capture “statistical data” about mops, book stores, and toothpaste and nobody wants to believe the plonker.

Meanwhile half the people doing the judging are complete basket cases themselves behind closed doors.

At least dislike is honest.

Judgment often feels like people trying to elevate themselves by subtly looking down on somebody else.

Obviously there are exceptions. If somebody is an insanely corrupt politician, a scam artist, or one of those mugs who stands up the second the plane lands, then yes, judge away.

Likewise, if somebody has nine different forum accounts and tens of thousands of totally useless posts over the course of five years, while somehow still believing they are the sensible one in the room, I think society has earned the right to have a quiet word.

But on a normal personal level, it is strange how quickly people convince themselves they have completely sussed out another chap from almost no real information at all.

Usually while still not having a clue about themselves...

On 5/20/2026 at 3:17 AM, 123Stodg said:

I think being judged is worse.

Being disliked is fair enough really. Nobody is obliged to like anybody else. Sometimes personalities just clash. Some people annoy you within about four seconds of dropping in a daft post about something as mundane as haircuts, nighttime beach parties, or food labelling regulations and there is not even a logical explanation for it.

That feels normal.

But being judged feels different because it usually comes with this strange undertone of moral superiority, as if somebody has completely figured you out from one opinion, one comment, or one awkward interaction at a Xmas party piss up in Patts three years back.

You especially see it online.

A bloke writes one negative sounding comment about disliking close personal relationships with other farangs in Thailand and suddenly strangers are diagnosing him as “an absolutely miserable git” while sitting there eating mama noodles with spicy dried squid in their pants at 2am hammering away at the keyboard.

Someone says they enjoy living alone near Soi Buakhao because of the convenient access to food and immediately people start acting like they are one step away from becoming a beer-bar panty sniffer.

Or another geezer might talk about going to Pattaya, not only for the ladyboys, but to capture “statistical data” about mops, book stores, and toothpaste and nobody wants to believe the plonker.

Meanwhile half the people doing the judging are complete basket cases themselves behind closed doors.

At least dislike is honest.

Judgment often feels like people trying to elevate themselves by subtly looking down on somebody else.

Obviously there are exceptions. If somebody is an insanely corrupt politician, a scam artist, or one of those mugs who stands up the second the plane lands, then yes, judge away.

Likewise, if somebody has nine different forum accounts and tens of thousands of totally useless posts over the course of five years, while somehow still believing they are the sensible one in the room, I think society has earned the right to have a quiet word.

But on a normal personal level, it is strange how quickly people convince themselves they have completely sussed out another chap from almost no real information at all.

Usually while still not having a clue about themselves...

On 5/20/2026 at 3:17 AM, 123Stodg said:

I think being judged is worse.

Being disliked is fair enough really. Nobody is obliged to like anybody else. Sometimes personalities just clash. Some people annoy you within about four seconds of dropping in a daft post about something as mundane as haircuts, nighttime beach parties, or food labelling regulations and there is not even a logical explanation for it.

That feels normal.

But being judged feels different because it usually comes with this strange undertone of moral superiority, as if somebody has completely figured you out from one opinion, one comment, or one awkward interaction at a Xmas party piss up in Patts three years back.

You especially see it online.

A bloke writes one negative sounding comment about disliking close personal relationships with other farangs in Thailand and suddenly strangers are diagnosing him as “an absolutely miserable git” while sitting there eating mama noodles with spicy dried squid in their pants at 2am hammering away at the keyboard.

Someone says they enjoy living alone near Soi Buakhao because of the convenient access to food and immediately people start acting like they are one step away from becoming a beer-bar panty sniffer.

Or another geezer might talk about going to Pattaya, not only for the ladyboys, but to capture “statistical data” about mops, book stores, and toothpaste and nobody wants to believe the plonker.

Meanwhile half the people doing the judging are complete basket cases themselves behind closed doors.

At least dislike is honest.

Judgment often feels like people trying to elevate themselves by subtly looking down on somebody else.

Obviously there are exceptions. If somebody is an insanely corrupt politician, a scam artist, or one of those mugs who stands up the second the plane lands, then yes, judge away.

Likewise, if somebody has nine different forum accounts and tens of thousands of totally useless posts over the course of five years, while somehow still believing they are the sensible one in the room, I think society has earned the right to have a quiet word.

But on a normal personal level, it is strange how quickly people convince themselves they have completely sussed out another chap from almost no real information at all.

Usually while still not having a clue about themselves...

I’m pretty light judgment wise.

Even the retard I pop in here regularly to B-slap around for laughs and the amusement of other retirees, I don’t think is really a bad person.

I ridiculed him for threatening people here and then he stopped.

I made fun of them for two days about humping everybody’s leg demanding know what their hobbbbies are and I noticed he’s really steeply fallen off from that one too.

Don’t feel like you need to thank me, it was my pleasure.

It’s just banter. I could give 2 sh .

But specific to this thread, I definitely think a guy who lives near Soi Bukhao and claims it is to be close to cheap noodle stands is definitely taking the P. I am reminded of the old joke of people who read Playboy just for the interview.

Secretly, I would love a guy like that, not judge him

On 5/20/2026 at 2:11 AM, simon43 said:

So what if you are judged, disliked or disrespected? Anyone who reacts to this is IMHO a weak-minded person. I personally don't give a flying f *ck what anyone thinks of me or if anyone disrespects me. Get on with your life and stop fretting like a kindergarten kid over what others think of you.

Jeez.........

Spot on!

I'll take a chance on you considering me weak-minded and respond anyway😉

That's because I was thinking exactly the same as you - especially, bearing in mind that most of we "anyones" are anonymous posters on a forum with different reasons to be here.

Best wishes from the "weak-minded VBF" 😃

1 hour ago, Burma Bill said:

Never bothered me, being a former soccer referee and a member of the UK Police Service. Everything went over my head!

Enjoyed the last sentence's 'double entendre'...............

Judged or disliked.... either way the care factor is zero.

On 5/20/2026 at 4:49 PM, Hummin said:

Adjusting to your environment is one thing.

Not sure where that came from, perhaps a conflation on my post?

On 5/20/2026 at 4:49 PM, Hummin said:

but fitting in does not mean being fake or pretending to be someone you are not.

Having to fit in is a social hangup and the individual requires themselves a compromise in order to be accepted, typically because they don’t have self confidence tools and tend to retrofit dialogue. Folks who are self confident couldn’t give a hoot what others think because they know it’s not their responsibility or business. There’s nothing wrong with folks who lack social confidence, it’s just how some people are and it’s quite common with school kids.

On 5/20/2026 at 4:49 PM, Hummin said:

Losing yourself to fit in is something else.

Exactly my point.

1 minute ago, novacova said:

Not sure where that came from, perhaps a conflation on my post?

Having to fit in is a social hangup and the individual requires themselves a compromise in order to be accepted, typically because they don’t have self confidence tools and tend to retrofit dialogue. Folks who are self confident couldn’t give a hoot what others think because they know it’s not their responsibility or business. There’s nothing wrong with folks who lack social confidence, it’s just how some people are and it’s quite common with school kids.

Exactly my point.

Some get it and got it, while others?

I don't give a ratz what people think about me, I never get into trouble and I show respect to others. When I walk every morning at least 20 people say hello or good morning to me. Some even call me by my first name. It's 99.9 % Thai people in my estate, as I'm probably the only farang who lives there. I've been there going on 25 years and I've never had a cross word with anyone. So if I've been judged I'd say I've been accepted. I must admit though where I live it's mostly Thai Chinese and they are totally the opposite to the people where my wife comes from up north. I'm sure the difference is education which helps us until we die.

I remember returning from a ski holiday with friends, visiting one of their houses om way back home. First time I met my friends wife (From Caribbean). Seemed a nice lady, I mentioned I like to visit Thailand as a favourite holiday destination, then from out of nowhere, she stated that single guys go to Thailand for one thing, women or young girls.

I'm not good at dealing with these situations in the moment and probably should of laughed it off, but I was very offended, particularly that many more recent holidays I haven't been with any of the locals as I had a girlfriend back home (that she didn't know about).

How would you guys handle that situation?