Try not going into another text wall. But I doubt I'll be successful. Knew a bloke that ran a pub in Phuket. Hostess bar. I was on my post-retirement holiday. Was there for about six weeks. One of girls' sister turns up but didn't speak English -she was a tour guide for a Chinese tour bus group. She'd drop into the pub for a knock off beer and see her sister (daylight hours) and then go to wherever it was she lived. She wouldn't talk to me, thinking, I suppose " white man in a hostess bar." Obviously t some point the sister told her I didn't partake so after about two weeks she said hello. Google translate. Facebook friends. That was it. I went back to The Motherland. Four months later, FB message out of the blue asked if I wanted a tour of upcountry Thailand. She'd gone back home as her father was sick and to look after her daughter who'd been living with the other grandmother (yaa) and she was sick, too. Anyway, I thought. "Why not?" So. Fly into Bangkok, she's bussed down. Walked around for two days, being all touristy, also caught up with a friend who'd been working here since 1991 (still is here, just retired now). Flew to Khon Kaen, taxied to her former mother-in-laws place in Chaiyaphum. Had my first ever first lao khao. Went to buy another bottle with how to say "small bottle of lao khao" on a piece of paper. Got to shop, I read the phonetics off the paper. Twice. Then the proprietor says, "not bad, you'll get better." "What?" He had worked in Australia for thirty years and spoke English but he only told me that after I'd made a tool of myself. Nice one. LOL. Stayed in a local hotel for 200 baht. Then a guy comes up and brings her and me to this village. Cost 5 baht a kilometre. Looked around. Quiet. Cool (January) and with trees and mountains. People smiling as I went to the market on the back of her scooter. Four days then bus to Bangkok, one night, plane home. I decided that I didn't have anything to stay in The Motherland for. Adult child that lived in another part of the country anyway so I thought, "Why not? I can always come back." Over the next few months I got my stuff stored at a friends shed, got out google translte and strted to learn numbers, colors, animals (the basics) and with her on FB messenger every couple of days teching me as well (which is difficult when she doesn't remember much English) I suppose what sort of nailed it was her use of what we'd call "big words"when she wrote stuff in Thai and translated it. I could have a decent conversation. Even if we couldn't understand each other's native language. It was then then I found out not only was she not "just" a tour guide that spoke Chinese fluently, she had a degree, and was a former quality assurance manager at Philips in Hong Kong and had 400 staff (most SE Asians) under her. She speaks Thai, Lao (her parents were originally from Korat and there is a fair numbver of Lao-speaking sub-villages around here), Mandarin, Cantonese, Vietnamese, and English (in that order of fluency) and translated from her boss to her staff and smatterings of others. And then her dad got sick so, after paying for his (then) uncovered medical bills from Honkers, she came back in (I think) 2008. Full forward to April 2016, I packed a 30kg suitcase and a carry-on. Bangkok. Mor Chit bus terminal. Her (future) brother-in-law who was educated in the US met me and made sure I got on the right bus. Four-odd hours later, I was picked up at the bus stop by her mid-twenties son who'd made his Daihatsu Charade a giant speaker box for his car stereo so there was no back seat. Suitcase went up front. I was on the back of a scooter. For the first four weeks (after the first night) I actually stayed in the top floor of a house half a mile away so I walked to her house for breakfast and then went fishing after caring for her father, read books, relaxed, then, after dinner I'd walk back again. After a month, by which time I'd learned the days of the week, how to get around the weird ways Thais say the time, fruit and vegetbles and so on, we decided I'd take over the top floor of her house (which she had had built by her brothers/BiL for their parents) and pay her rent instead. Saved me the walk. Been here pretty much ever since. I do know people strewn around the country Brits, Aussies, Americans, German, couple of Swedes and a Norwegian and I have had friends stay here. If you look t my "location" in my profile, you can see I'm pretty far from most tourist places and I think my nearest friend is in Kalasin (about four hours) then down in NaKlua (Pattaya) - the friend that starting working ere in '91 - which is almost exactly five hours to his front door from mine everyone else takes seven+ hours. And, yep! Another text wall. Sorry.
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