1 hour ago, ravip said:

Am surprised that there is no mention of "coming inside" or "getting your tackle overhauled" etc.

5 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I stayed away for a while. I heard it through the grapevine that I'd get a frosty reception - three degrees, four, tops. When I did go home to my girl, she'd eaten my watermelon and left me the pips.

Was her name Renee and did she walk away after all that?

A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.

As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally.

Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elephant Squire had ten sons, but the Hippo Squire was childless. The Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire sent there eighteen sons to kill the Hippo Squire, but the Hippo Squire drew his sword and single-handedly slaughtered all eighteen of them.

And thus, it was proven once and for all that the squire of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squires of the other two hides.

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

And thus, it was proven once and for all that the squire of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squires of the other two hides.

Brilliant but I still want a "GROAN" button!!

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
His obituary in English...

He pasta way.

We cannoli do so much.

His legacy will become a pizza history.

Here today, gone tomato.

I can only espress-so much grief, but i must romaine calm.

How sad that he ran out of thyme.

Ashes to ashes, crust to crust.

There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world.

Sending olive my prayers to his family.

His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it.

You never sausage a tragic thing.

Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons.

It was a farfalle from grace.

My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto.

May he rest in pesto...

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Brilliant but I still want a "GROAN" button!!

100% - even if just for this thread!!!! 😎 (although I doubt that's technically feasible)

23 minutes ago, VBF said:

100% - even if just for this thread!!!! 😎 (although I doubt that's technically feasible)

You could use the "sigh" emoji: