Hi,

My girlfriend is 32 years old. We want to have children some day but at the moment this is not at all possible, due to the usual reasons of work, time, money etc.

I was wondering how late we can leave it? For me I would like to leave it another 3 years, but obviously it comes down to her health. We discussed this the other night and she says her friend is 38 and now too old to have children I found this surprising and said that there are plenty of women who have kids at that age, she replied by saying Thai women aren't the same. Is this true?

Thanks

Dave

Hi,

My girlfriend is 32 years old. We want to have children some day but at the moment this is not at all possible, due to the usual reasons of work, time, money etc.

I was wondering how late we can leave it? For me I would like to leave it another 3 years, but obviously it comes down to her health. We discussed this the other night and she says her friend is 38 and now too old to have children I found this surprising and said that there are plenty of women who have kids at that age, she replied by saying Thai women aren't the same. Is this true?

Thanks

Dave

HI

I'm wondering what evidence or supporting medical facts she gave you to back-up this theory? I've got Thai girlfriends here in thier late thirties who were still having kids only last year, and also personally know of at least 2 Thai women who had kids over the age of forty.

Perhaps more to the point, would be to ask why you would believe something as incredulous as this, and look at the unsaid reasons that make her want to have children with you immediately?

Just a thought!

Of course you can have children into your 40's assuming you can conceive. But from a woman's (actually any parents) point of view the chance of birth defects and complications goes up the longer you leave it. All my friends who work in the medical profession advised me to have children before age 30 if poss. The chances of problems seem to go up significantly at that age and again at 35. In fact if I remember correctly a mother over 35 is given some really unflattering reference name when being admitted to hospital or on the case file - in fact I just googled it , its elderly primigravida !

There are of course many factors that govern starting a family but there are probably more obstacles when you get older.

I have some stats on this somewhere, I'll try to find them.

That said, if you leave having children til later ie over 30, it certainly does reduce the chances of conception. And as has been said already, there can be health problems.

If you continue to have children there are fewer problems. My mother was 40 when she had me but she was having children since the age of 20 and ended up giving birth to 12 children. I am the youngest. She actually conceived after me and miscarried.

I frequently hear that Thai women conceive more easily than western women. The reason for this, they say, is that in western societies the number of women who smoke or drink is continuosly on the increase and that compromises a woman's health but then there are also genetic and hereditary factors to take into consideration, I think. I'm not quite sure whether all this is true or not.

Because many asian ladies start a family when they are quite young I have not come across old mothers that often. By a certain age most have already had a certain number of children, especially in traditional and poor families.

I'm surrounded more and more by western women who are conceiving in their late thirties earlie forties, some of them have had minor complications but they've all had pretty smooth delivery and the babies are all fine. A friend of mine has recently had a beautiful strong and happy baby at the tender age to forty-five! It was a pleasant suprise and everything went perfectly. It might help to visit a specialist and check your girlfriend fertility situation if you want to find out more.

Health professionals in the U.K have been warning career women for some time that if they leave it until they are past 35, as has been increasingly the trend, that they may have to accept the reality that they might not be able to conceive. Of course, some women still can, but if it means that much to you 'don't bet on it' is the advice they give. I imagine it's the same from a biological point of view for women in Thailand.

Hi,

My girlfriend is 32 years old. We want to have children some day but at the moment this is not at all possible, due to the usual reasons of work, time, money etc.

I was wondering how late we can leave it? For me I would like to leave it another 3 years, but obviously it comes down to her health. We discussed this the other night and she says her friend is 38 and now too old to have children I found this surprising and said that there are plenty of women who have kids at that age, she replied by saying Thai women aren't the same. Is this true?

Thanks

Dave

HI

I'm wondering what evidence or supporting medical facts she gave you to back-up this theory? I've got Thai girlfriends here in thier late thirties who were still having kids only last year, and also personally know of at least 2 Thai women who had kids over the age of forty.

Perhaps more to the point, would be to ask why you would believe something as incredulous as this, and look at the unsaid reasons that make her want to have children with you immediately?

Just a thought!

Hi again,

Re my previous post - I assumed that any intelligent, educated person living in the year 2007 knows of the medical data and recognised risks surrounding childbirth over the age of 35. This is not in dispute.

I also assumed that Dave's post (because of relaying his girlfriend's statement that " Thai women aren't the same") related to querying said medical facts purely based on ethnic origin. Hence my previous comments regarding looking to unspoken motivation and whether she has any medical evidence to support her theory.

Dave-please clarify!

I have zero knowledge regarding medical data about women and child birth.

Most likely my gf has no evidence to support her 'theory'. I'm assuming its an old wives tale or something but I wanted to check. Googled this and got a lot of data that didn't really make sense to me so wanted some honest opinions from women here, especially those who had children after the age of 30.

Hi Dave

Apologies-maybe this is just knowledge that women today take for granted!

Here's a few links to give you some accurate info:

http://www.babycenter.com.au/pregnancy/ant...geandpregnancy/

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/age_and_fertility.html

http://www.readinghospital.org/Health/cont...p?pageid=P07007

Hope it helps you be prepared and informed if nothing else.

Regards LILI

I suspect your girlfriend is basing it on old wives tales. yes, there are increased risk factors over 35 but substantially enough to have a child when you are not ready? I doubt it.

From the March of Dimes website:

Pregnancy After 35

Many women now start a family when they are in their mid-30s or older. Today 1 in 5 women has her first child after age 35 (1). The good news is that most have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.

However, studies show that women in their mid-to-late 30s and 40s may face some special risks. Women should be aware of these risks so they can make informed decisions about their pregnancies, including when to become pregnant.

Does age affect fertility?

Women usually have some decrease in fertility starting in their early 30s. It often takes a woman in her mid-30s or older longer to conceive than a younger woman.

Women over age 35 may be less fertile than younger women because they tend to ovulate (release an egg from the ovaries) less frequently. Certain health conditions that are more common in this age group also may contribute. For example, women over age 35 are more likely to have endometriosis, a condition in which tissue attaches to the ovaries or fallopian tubes, sometimes interfering with conception.

A woman over age 35 should consult her health care provider if she has not conceived after six months of trying. Studies suggest that about one-third of women between 35 and 39 and about half of those over age 40 have fertility problems (2). Many fertility problems can be treated successfully.

While women over age 35 may have more difficulty conceiving, they also have a greater chance of having twins (3). The chances of having twins increases naturally with age. Women over 35 also are more likely to undergo fertility treatment, which also increases the chance of twins (as well as triplets and other multiples).

Are women over age 35 at increased risk of having a baby with a birth defect?

Women over age 35 are at increased risk of having a child with certain birth defects involving chromosomes (the structures in cells that contain genes). Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal birth defect. Affected children have varying degrees of mental retardation and physical birth defects.

* At age 25, a woman has about a 1-in-1,250 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome.

* At age 30, a 1-in-1,000 chance.

* At age 35, a 1-in-400 chance.

* At age 40, a 1-in-100 chance.

* At 45, a 1-in-30 chance.

* At 49, a 1-in-10 chance (1, 4).

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that women who will be 35 or older at the time of delivery be offered prenatal testing to diagnose, or far more likely, rule out Down syndrome and other chromosomal problems (4). Prenatal tests include amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling (CVS). Most women who have these tests learn that their baby does not have a chromosomal problem.

Both amniocentesis and CVS pose a very small risk of miscarriage (pregnancy loss before 20 weeks of pregnancy). Some women choose to have a first- or second-trimester screening test (a blood test, sometimes with a special ultrasound exam) to get more information on their risk of having a baby with Down syndrome before deciding on amniocentesis or CVS. Women who learn they are at low risk may choose not to have amniocentesis or CVS, whereas women at increased risk may decide to have CVS or amniocentesis. A screening test, however, cannot definitively diagnose or rule out Down syndrome and other chromosomal problems as amniocentesis and CVS can.

Does the risk of miscarriage increase as a woman gets older?

Most miscarriages occur in the first trimester for women of all ages. The risk of miscarriage increases with age. Studies suggest that about 10 percent of recognized pregnancies for women in their 20s end in miscarriage (5). The risk rises to about 20 percent at ages 35 to 39, and about 50 percent by ages 40 to 44 (5). The age-related increased risk of miscarriage is caused, at least in part, by increases in chromosomal abnormalities.

Can preexisting health conditions affect pregnancy?

Women over age 35 are more likely than younger women to have a health condition that began before pregnancy. Some health conditions, such as high blood pressure, diabetes and kidney and heart problems, can affect pregnancy. For example, poorly controlled diabetes can contribute to birth defects and miscarriage, and poorly controlled high blood pressure can slow fetal growth.

At any age, a woman should see her health care provider before trying to conceive. A preconception visit helps ensure that she is in the best possible health before conception. A preconception visit is especially important if a woman has a chronic health condition. Her provider can treat the condition and make any necessary changes in her medications to help assure that she has a healthy pregnancy. The provider also can recommend that a woman planning pregnancy take a daily multivitamin containing 400 micrograms of folic acid to help prevent certain serious birth defects of the brain and spinal cord (neural tube defects).

Are women over age 35 more likely to have pregnancy complications?

Women in their late 30s and 40s are very likely to have a healthy baby. However, they may face more complications along the way than younger women.

Some complications that are more common in women over 35 include:

* Gestational diabetes. This form of diabetes develops for the first time during pregnancy. According to a 2005 government study conducted at many medical centers, women over age 35 are about twice as likely as younger women to develop gestational diabetes (6). Women with gestational diabetes are more likely to have a very large baby who is at risk of injuries during delivery.

* Placental problems. The most common placental problem is placenta previa, in which the placenta covers part or all of the uterine opening (cervix). A 2005 government study found that women in their late 30s were almost twice as likely, and women in their 40s nearly three times as likely, as younger women to have this complication (6). Placenta previa can cause severe bleeding during delivery, which can endanger mother and baby. A cesarean delivery often can prevent serious complications.

* Premature delivery. A 2005 government study found that women over age 40 were 40 percent more likely than younger women to deliver prematurely (before 37 weeks of pregnancy) (6). Premature babies are at increased risk of health problems in the newborn period and of lasting disabilities. Other studies have found that women between 35 and 39 also have an increased risk of premature delivery, though their risk may be lower than that of women over age 40 (7). Some studies also suggest that women in their 40s may be at increased risk of having a low-birthweight baby (less than 5½ pounds) (4, 5, 6).

* Stillbirth. Stillbirth is the death of the fetus after 20 weeks of pregnancy. A number of studies have found that women over age 40 are about twice as likely as women in their 20s to have a stillborn baby (4, 5, 7). The reasons for these tragic losses in the over-40 age group are poorly understood.

As with diabetes, high blood pressure can develop for the first time during pregnancy. This may be referred to as pregnancy-induced hypertension (high blood pressure) or, in its most severe form, preeclampsia. Some studies have found that pregnancy-induced high blood pressure is more common in women over age 35 (6, 7).

Are women over 35 more likely than younger women to have a cesarean delivery?

The chances of a cesarean delivery rise with age. First-time mothers over age 40 appear to be more than twice as likely as first-time mothers under age 30 to have a cesarean delivery (9). In 2003, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 47 percent of first-time mothers over age 40, 33 percent between ages 30 and 39, and 21 percent under age 30 had a cesarean delivery (9).

How can a pregnant woman reduce her risks?

Today, most women in their late 30s and 40s can look forward to healthy pregnancies. Women of all ages can improve their chances of having a healthy pregnancy if they:

* Have a preconception checkup with a health care provider.

* Get early and regular prenatal care.

* Take a multivitamin containing 400 micrograms of folic acid daily, starting before pregnancy and in early pregnancy, to help prevent certain serious birth defects of the brain and spinal cord (neural tube defects).

* Begin pregnancy at a healthy weight (not too heavy or too thin).

* Don’t drink alcohol.

* Don’t smoke and avoid secondhand smoke.

* Don’t use any drug, even over-the-counter medications or herbal preparations, unless recommended by a health care provider who knows they are pregnant.

* Eat a variety of nutritious foods, including foods containing folic acid, like fortified breakfast cereals, leafy green vegetables, dried beans, legumes, oranges and orange juice.

* Don’t eat undercooked meat or change a cat’s litter box. Both are possible sources of toxoplasmosis, an infection that can cause birth defects.

* Don’t eat shark, swordfish, king mackerel or tilefish. These fish can have high amounts of mercury. It's all right for a pregnant woman to eat a limited amount of fish that have small amounts of mercury, including shrimp, salmon, pollock, catfish and canned light tuna. But she should not eat more than 6 ounces of albacore (white) tuna per week.Women also should check local advisories about the safety of fish caught in local waters.

In addition, the March of Dimes recommends that all women be tested for immunity to rubella (German measles) and chickenpox before becoming pregnant and consider being vaccinated if they are not immune. After being vaccinated, a woman should wait one month before becoming pregnant.

Pregnant women who are 35 or older face some special risks, but many of these risks can be managed effectively with good prenatal care. It’s important to keep in mind that the increased risk, even for the oldest women, is modest.

in my opinion i think the big question is if having a baby at an older age, is would this be fair to the new born? yes a person will be more mature and be able to take care of teh baby more but some things can not be enjoyed with a youngster at an older age.

for me i would like to be able to take my children on all the roller coaster rides without having to worry about anything.

so delaying is no problem as long as it is not delayed so that that child will not have the joy of playing football with eth father or enjoy a nice whitewater rafting trip, or a long hike and camping trip.

Edited September 5, 200718 yr by Zeid

Fantastic info and links, thanks everyone!

So it seems that after 35 is a bit more difficult, I can live with that as thats the age we're planning on.

My main fear is the baby being born with defects such as downs syndrome or something but it seems there are solutions to that too.

Are there any mothers reading this? If so I'd like to now what the rough/average cost of pregnancy and birth is here? I mean all the tests, scans etc up to birth and then the birth itself...

My children are both in their teens and believe me you don't know what they have cost me from -0 yrs until now.

It would put you off having children for ever.

But if we are talking pregnancy/childbirth I think a lot of the hospitals have "packages" now. So should be easy to contact hospitals and find out.

For a normal birth maybe 20-40,000Bt are figures I have heard. Caesarian and extended care of course push the bills up.

If you wife has social insurance (Prakarn Sangkom ) it should be free.

so delaying is no problem as long as it is not delayed so that that child will not have the joy of playing football with eth father or enjoy a nice whitewater rafting trip, or a long hike and camping trip.

Wow Zeid! you've just cut out an enormous chunk of society worldwide (and particularly in Asian cultures) where for all sorts of different reasons children live with, and are primarily raised by, thier grandparents, or with physically disabled parents.

One suggestion for the op is for both of them to have full fertility check up now so that they can address any issues now rather than a few years down the line when it may be too late to resolve.

I did this when I was 29 as I wasn't quite ready for kids yet but did think I wanted them in a few years. The result was a hormone inbalance due to taking the pill (injection) for so long & I the discovery that I was diabetic!! It took 3 years of medical monitoring to finally conceive & I gave birth to a health baby boy 4 months ago.

If I hadn't checked myself out then I would probably be having to do it now resulting in a longer more stressful delay in having a baby at a signigficantly (medically) older age.

One thing I have to add, your Thai wife is incorrect, it is not that Thai women can't have children as older women, my neighbor was 40 when she had her son, my husband's cousin 38. Another neighbor 39. All Thai women.

This has been a very good read for me. My wife is 34 and we have been mulling the idea of some traveling before settleing down and having a kid. To be fair I am not bothered either way if I have children or not, but I feel it is wrong to deny a woman her chance to have children. Before I cop any "you aren't father material then" nonsense. We had a pregnancy.....Hmmm!....what to call it?....'scare', a year or so ago and I found myself looking at baby things in Tesco with contented resignation. That is why we are here afterall.

However, I am aware of the problems of having children later in life, so my question is this. Can tests be done to confirm all is well before the abortion deadline? I would want to know if we were going to have a normal child. Sbk's downs syndrome facts spooked me a little. I wouldn't want a spastic or anything.

amnio's can be done fairly early on, but any termination would have to be approached very carefully or performed in Singapore as it is technically illegal in Thailand.

I wouldn't want a spastic or anything.

Nice...

Not the most tactful way to put it, but Downs syndrome kids can be alot of work and more so than children who do not have it, are going to be with you for the rest of your life. thailand also does not appear to have many programs or education in place to help downs syndrome kids adapt to life outside the home.

Biggest fear I would have about having a downs syndrome child in Thailand is who is going to take care of them after my husband and I die?