Thai/farang Young/old Relationships

[thomo]

My personal opinion is that 21 and yet to graduate is much too young for such a decision, particularly when age & cultural difference are involved. What's the rush to marry and whisk her away from family & peers ?

Yeah but she's not making a decision to marry into a steadfast marriage 'til death do us part, she's making a decision to have a rich foreigner take her to America and set her up financially for possibly the rest of her life. (Not to mention the status boost she'll in front of her friends/peers.)

Yeah, that's a real tough decision to make.

What she has to lose: Absolutely nothing.

What she has to gain: Absolutely everything.

And for what, letting a farang who doesn't even live here take care of her (Sorry that always makes me laugh) then taking her over to the promised land and involving her with his $$$ (wasn't it a mill this guy was on about)

What he has to lose: All his money, his trust in other people, a broken heart and possibly the feeling of self disgust at being so stupid to be taken in.

What he has to gain: The chance of happiness with a young exotic beauty.

I'd do my homework, I'd have her checked out by a PI or similar. All the girls I know/have known are/have been letting other men 'spoil' them and take them out for fun when one of them are away... all in the name of fun and hoping one day one of them will want to take them back home and marry them so they're set up, looks like the girl here got herself a rich one.

I remember a few weeks ago hooking up with girl, the next day we went back to her condo, we go into her bedroom and there's 3 or 4 photos of her boyfriend stuck to her wall, handsome guy too (seriously) about 40 yr's old, she likes him and hopes for a future with him but he's back in England and's able to send her 15,000B a month. Nice girl too.

Edited September 14, 2007 by thomo

[Prakanong]

My personal opinion is that 21 and yet to graduate is much too young for such a decision, particularly when age & cultural difference are involved. What's the rush to marry and whisk her away from family & peers ?

Yeah but she's not making a decision to marry into a steadfast marriage 'til death do us part, she's making a decision to have a rich foreigner take her to America and set her up financially for possibly the rest of her life. (Not to mention the status boost she'll in front of her friends/peers.)

Yeah, that's a real tough decision to make.

What she has to lose: Absolutely nothing.

What she has to gain: Absolutely everything.

And for what, letting a farang who doesn't even live here take care of her (Sorry that always makes me laugh) then taking her over to the promised land and involving her with his $$$ (wasn't it a mill this guy was on about)

What he has to lose: All his money, his trust in other people, a broken heart and possibly the feeling of self disgust at being so stupid to be taken in.

What he has to gain: The chance of happiness with a young exotic beauty.

I'd do my homework, I'd have her checked out by a PI or similar. All the girls I know/have known are/have been letting other men 'spoil' them and take them out for fun when one of them are away... all in the name of fun and hoping one day one of them will want to take them back home and marry them so they're set up, looks like the girl here got herself a rich one.

I remember a few weeks ago hooking up with girl, the next day we went back to her condo, we go into her bedroom and there's 3 or 4 photos of her boyfriend stuck to her wall, handsome guy too (seriously) about 40 yr's old, she likes him and hopes for a future with him but he's back in England and's able to send her 15,000B a month. Nice girl too.

She was a cheap option then - only 15k a month

Cheaper than a mistress in Batam

[Maigo6]

What has worth is worth paying for.

To those on this thread who concern themselves with another mans relationship giving off warning signs as to his partners fidelity, it may be their own insecurities coming to the fore.

How many really wealthy guys do you find continually moaning about living in Thailand ?

Extremely rarely. Why ?

If they are not happy, they can afford to move on to something else.

I think the OP is in a similar position, and if any of you guys think that if you were a 49 year old Millionaire you would not have a young women as opposed to a woman of your own age, then you are indeed very rare yourselves.

Why waste time speculating on the relationship of two people you don't know, maybe it's time to have a good look at your own relationships and wonder why you spend so much time online while the world passes you by and your life slips away uneventfully.

Most of the guys that complain about Farangs sending money to Thai girls are envious of her ability to attract money, secretly wishing someone would value them enough to send them some. I can understand low paid workers thinking this way, the richer guys could care less, they have their own money to think about, not some paltry ammount sent to a Thai woman from an admirer.

Some people choose to fly First Class, some people choose to fly Business Class, and some have no choice but to fly Economy.

The mans a millionaire, I say good luck to him and live your life, if it all goes wrong you can get a PC, log into an internet Forum and whine, your choice. Many do not have the luxury of choice, they're all out of options.

Edited September 14, 2007 by Maigo6

[Suszzy]

Maigo defending all things Thai, a decent amount of pretty funny quips, and somewhere (maybe) a little bit of good advice to the original poster.

i do like reading maigo post!

and i think he is very articulate

[thomo]

Yeah, for doing nothing, they have a tough life eh.

And I should add that 100% of girls here aren't all like that. Just 98-99% of the ones I've met. Reality can be cruel, especially in Thailand and especially when there's a older farang with money envolved.

If you're thinking of getting really serious with her..... which you are

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

[lazeeboy]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

if you're both happy then good luck to you,you only get one shot at life ,live it ........

[Prakanong]

Yeah, for doing nothing, they have a tough life eh.

And I should add that 100% of girls here aren't all like that. Just 98-99% of the ones I've met. Reality can be cruel, especially in Thailand and especially when there's a older farang with money envolved.

If you're thinking of getting really serious with her..... which you are

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

And where are you meeting these 98-99% pictures of virtue?

Do you attract these sort or do you attract them?

[siddv]

Good evening my fellow gentle persons. Wow there are some rather bitter individuals here...how do you survive in Thailand..you should be out here increasing the road rage population of Los Angeles.! I'll assume a certain degree playing devils advocate and protecting me from economic and emotional ruin, which I appreciate. There are many issues to consider here but why such a low opinion of Thai women? ..I mean "50 to 1 odds that shes' screwing other men"; the PI issue ..I'm stupid for taking care of her because I'm only in Thailand for 3 months out of the year; I guess I'm supposed to just show up with a bag full of cash and start passing it around until I'ts gone so I'll lose all my money. Is that what men do here? Anyone heard of preserving capital and living off investment earnings/interest. Sure I have a rather challenging situation to face and it requires a certain leap of faith. I'm not saying that I should go into this wearing rose colored glasses and I expected a certain amount of abuse. posting this issue bit its ok I have a very thick skin being in my line of work. That being said my opinion of Thai women, based at least on the character of the people I have met here these past 6 years, does not require me to abandon all hope and trust. By the way..the plan is for ME to eventually live in Thailand..not the other way around. But even if this takes a few years its not possible for a Thai women to work and raise a family in her home while her husband is on business outside of Thailand for 12 weeks at a time earning income to support her family and provide her with a better quality of life..without screwing around? Really? Once again thank so much for all the POV.

[Prakanong]

Good evening my fellow gentle persons. Wow there are some rather bitter individuals here...how do you survive in Thailand..you should be out here increasing the road rage population of Los Angeles.! I'll assume a certain degree playing devils advocate and protecting me from economic and emotional ruin, which I appreciate. There are many issues to consider here but why such a low opinion of Thai women? ..I mean "50 to 1 odds that shes' screwing other men"; the PI issue ..I'm stupid for taking care of her because I'm only in Thailand for 3 months out of the year; I guess I'm supposed to just show up with a bag full of cash and start passing it around until I'ts gone so I'll lose all my money. Is that what men do here? Anyone heard of preserving capital and living off investment earnings/interest. Sure I have a rather challenging situation to face and it requires a certain leap of faith. I'm not saying that I should go into this wearing rose colored glasses and I expected a certain amount of abuse. posting this issue bit its ok I have a very thick skin being in my line of work. That being said my opinion of Thai women, based at least on the character of the people I have met here these past 6 years, does not require me to abandon all hope and trust. By the way..the plan is for ME to eventually live in Thailand..not the other way around. But even if this takes a few years its not possible for a Thai women to work and raise a family in her home while her husband is on business outside of Thailand for 12 weeks at a time earning income to support her family and provide her with a better quality of life..without screwing around? Really? Once again thank so much for all the POV.

Oh you are right - some bitter individuals here with a downer on all women and some with Thai women in particular

There are plenty of couples where the guy works away for periods - mostly 4 to 6 weeks of the guy's I know- but some up to 12 weeks as you are planning - I used to pop over 5-6 times a year when I did that too.

[Daewoo]

Why are there no sex tourists in Japan ?

Saw a tv show about the red-light districts in Japan... BJ bars where it's 3000B a go...

Any idea what the girls in Thailand charge Japanese Tourists for that service... some more than that...

Anyway, that is where I gave up reading the posts, so if I repeat something please forgive me...

IMHO the only way for relationships like this to work are if you get the girl out of Thailand, married in the US, with a tight but fair pre-nup... sure some guys loose serious baht to girls, black, white and grey in Thailand, but they can generally afford to continue to drink themself into an early grave...

Sometimes these relationships work, sometimes they don't... when they don't, the farrang will tell everyone that they meet, in every forum, in every gogo bar, in every rehab clinic...

The ones for whom it works you probably won't meet, because they are happily at home, in a house near her villiage, playing with their kids...

The odds aren't great, but it does happen for a lucky few...

you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Cheers,

Daewoo

[BADBRAD]

What has worth is worth paying for.

To those on this thread who concern themselves with another mans relationship giving off warning signs as to his partners fidelity, it may be their own insecurities coming to the fore.

How many really wealthy guys do you find continually moaning about living in Thailand ?

Extremely rarely. Why ?

If they are not happy, they can afford to move on to something else.

I think the OP is in a similar position, and if any of you guys think that if you were a 49 year old Millionaire you would not have a young women as opposed to a woman of your own age, then you are indeed very rare yourselves.

Why waste time speculating on the relationship of two people you don't know, maybe it's time to have a good look at your own relationships and wonder why you spend so much time online while the world passes you by and your life slips away uneventfully.

Most of the guys that complain about Farangs sending money to Thai girls are envious of her ability to attract money, secretly wishing someone would value them enough to send them some. I can understand low paid workers thinking this way, the richer guys could care less, they have their own money to think about, not some paltry ammount sent to a Thai woman from an admirer.

Some people choose to fly First Class, some people choose to fly Business Class, and some have no choice but to fly Economy.

The mans a millionaire, I say good luck to him and live your life, if it all goes wrong you can get a PC, log into an internet Forum and whine, your choice. Many do not have the luxury of choice, they're all out of options.

Differences aside, I can't argue with you on this one Maigo, even if my head is .........

So much negativity expressed on this forum in the guise of advice. Sometimes I wonder if there are 2 Thailands; the one I know and it's evil twin.

[thomo]

And where are you meeting these 98-99% pictures of virtue?

some at the 7-11, some at the park, the local university lake is always a good bet, some at the cinema, some waitresses, the girl in question I met at a restaurant and's a secretary I think. I'm not really that promiscuous but most of the girls I get talking to sure are given the chance.

Notice... the girls I talk to, maybe the women are different.

Edited September 14, 2007 by thomo

[mikethevigoman]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

Dont listen to all the BS you will hear on here from all the straight lace conservatives,.oh shes probably a bar girl in disguise ,blah blah,blah,only wants you for your money, blah blah blah,they are usually baseing these stupid remarks on there own failed relationships with the busiest girl in the bar they thought "was different ".and releived them of all their money, ! if you are both happy and she has no problem with the age difference then go for it,. i am 56 my wife is 32 ,married for 6 years ,daughter of 5 ( to a non bg ,before im jumped on ) and our relationship is perfect, i dont support the family as they have thier own income,.and again ,so what of you will be 70 and her 40 or whatever, you can still have some great years together, where is it written that we must marry someone our own age ?,.england maybe ,. i always remember i was in england and my uncle who is 70 and was in pattaya sent me an sms saying " i have just met a 21 year old and shes lovely " i replied ,tongue in cheek, "be careful it could be fatal " ,to which he replies " <deleted> it if it kills her it kills her " ,.if you have a good thai wife there is none better,its just that some dont bother or have the skills to seek them out, good luck,.

[mikethevigoman]

Aha!! considering done. Niice 6-8 'teets' if you get a bonus

Can we moooove along please !

[mikethevigoman]

Seems to be another thread that is degenerating into yet another ' Thai women are no good ' thread.

Makes me wonder why Farangs seem so obsessed with Asian women when the general concensus online appears to be that they are all bad.

I would invite all Farangs who think that they are so great and find Asian women to be so attractive to come to Tokyo, see how far your beer gut and t-shirt get you.

Will you wonder why 18 Year old Japanese girls are not falling over you?

No ?

So you go to poorer South East Asian Countries to take advantage of the power your monetary position gives you, then you complain that these very people you go to exploit are after your money!!!!!!

It's f*****g unbelievable!!!

Agreed,. and it wil be the ones spouting off that were taken through their own stupidity and have now adopted a "they re all the same " opinion,.baseing their own pitiful choice in women and resultsof that as their opinions,. pathetic losers,.i heard a classic the other day, "mine had only worked at the bar for 2 weeks ,but still turned out to be no good " ,. memoirs of a fool

[Prakanong]

And where are you meeting these 98-99% pictures of virtue?

some at the 7-11, some at the park, the local university lake is always a good bet, some at the cinema, some waitresses, the girl in question I met at a restaurant and's a secretary I think. I'm not really that promiscuous but most of the girls I get talking to sure are given the chance.

Notice... the girls I talk to, maybe the women are different.

Well girls will be girls - boys will shag anything with a puilse but girls have desires too

[mikethevigoman]

Yeah, for doing nothing, they have a tough life eh.

And I should add that 100% of girls here aren't all like that. Just 98-99% of the ones I've met. Reality can be cruel, especially in Thailand and especially when there's a older farang with money envolved.

If you're thinking of getting really serious with her..... which you are

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

Check her out dude.

And where are you meeting these 98-99% pictures of virtue?

Do you attract these sort or do you attract them?

That figure in pattayas bars is probably correct !

[mikethevigoman]

girls in hotel management meet a lot of foreign men, but since you look 10 years younger than 50 I am sure you have nothing to worry about. from what youve told us, it sounds like true love.

Brad Pitt is over 40 so is Tom Cruise, would a Thai girl of 21 be kidding herself if she thought people could possibly believe she could fall in love with an older man?

Let's face it, they are attractive, rich, and probably really interesting worldly wise guys, or do you think she should fall in love with a spotty teenager with the same capacity for conversation and insight as Blizzard?

Sorry Blizzard, but you just come across as a type of guy I can catagorise, label, departmentalise, and diss.

Yeah now that he told us his fat azz is rolling around on the floor i will get the image of Randy in my mind when i see his id.

Actually blizzard is a pretty good id for him since his mind is in a blizzard so thick he can't see his hand in front of his face. I suspect he picked it because he eats so many blizzards at Dairy Queen.

I think hes 15 and lives at home with his evangelist parents !

[mikethevigoman]

Good evening my fellow gentle persons. Wow there are some rather bitter individuals here...how do you survive in Thailand..you should be out here increasing the road rage population of Los Angeles.! I'll assume a certain degree playing devils advocate and protecting me from economic and emotional ruin, which I appreciate. There are many issues to consider here but why such a low opinion of Thai women? ..I mean "50 to 1 odds that shes' screwing other men"; the PI issue ..I'm stupid for taking care of her because I'm only in Thailand for 3 months out of the year; I guess I'm supposed to just show up with a bag full of cash and start passing it around until I'ts gone so I'll lose all my money. Is that what men do here? Anyone heard of preserving capital and living off investment earnings/interest. Sure I have a rather challenging situation to face and it requires a certain leap of faith. I'm not saying that I should go into this wearing rose colored glasses and I expected a certain amount of abuse. posting this issue bit its ok I have a very thick skin being in my line of work. That being said my opinion of Thai women, based at least on the character of the people I have met here these past 6 years, does not require me to abandon all hope and trust. By the way..the plan is for ME to eventually live in Thailand..not the other way around. But even if this takes a few years its not possible for a Thai women to work and raise a family in her home while her husband is on business outside of Thailand for 12 weeks at a time earning income to support her family and provide her with a better quality of life..without screwing around? Really? Once again thank so much for all the POV.

Ill anwer that in a short sentance, the ones saying all thai women are no good are baseing on theirs ,or a friends ! experience with a prostitute,.

[mikethevigoman]

And then there is the one I've made up myself (which I have yet to see proven wrong)

'The biggest lies told in Thailand are the ones foreigners tell themselves'

Classic no 1 ! " No ,this ones different " !

[mikethevigoman]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

Yes .all bar girls are like that ,

[mikethevigoman]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

Someday you will be hunted down like the dog you are.

Keep on braging you sick fool

This guy is baseing his findings on the prostitutes he obviously hangs out with,.

[GuestHouse]

I absolutely agree with the objection to people extrapolating their experience in a bar onto the rest of Thai society - Too much of tht does go on.

So let's start by asking who here has studdied at or worked at a Thai University? - Count me in.

The reason I ask is because the OPs sittuation (funding a female student young enough to be his daughter - but not his daughter) is more common that I immagined before attending a Thai university.

The university, and indeed the course, I studdied at had a number of such female students - More cash than the average student, better accommodation and often a car - all provided by their 'sponsor'.

A foreigner sending a few thousand Baht a month is the bottom end of the market - I personally knew one young lady who had a penthouse appartment in a very nice condo in Bangkok.

But let's not extrapolate this to the presumption that all Thai female University stundents are 'out for hire', they are not, and the students who have these 'sponsors' are regarded by the mainstream as .. Let us say 'In an unfavourable light'. (Envy over their good fortune or disdain over their behavior? I'll let you decide according to which side of the argument you want to be on).

But do not make the mistake of believing there is no moral judgment on such behavior in Thai society.

However, the opinion of the students might also be seen to be split - Like universities the world over there are a lot of young guys who are out for a good time. And what better ingredient for a good time than 'Party Girls'.

It was my personal observation that the girls being 'sponsored' by older wealthy guys where by and large 'the party girls'. They had more money, better accommodation, often had a car, and because life was coming easy so soon, less commitment to their studies.

"Millionaires" - I do not know many 49 year old professionals who are not Millionaires - certainly if we are talking US$ then I think finding a 49 year old professional who is not a millionaire might be more difficult than finding one who is. (Assuming wealth has not been lost on divorce or some other such financial disaster).

But when discussing Thai universities (actually any university) it is not just rich old guys we need to consider, there are an awful lot of rich young people in Thai universities - and I mean seriously wealthy.

And when they want to play they play big time - and whom do they play with? - The party girls.

They fool around with the party girls, and when mamma and pappa give the order they marry nice rich girl.

The delineation in Thai universities is striking. Rich kids in one group, Academic kids in another, the mass struggling on in a third and the Party girls hovering on the side almost always using their easy cash in pretence of being the rich kid.

Like the old guy who likes to get good use out of his money, these 'sponsored' students like to get the best out of theirs.

Thai universities are full of good looking, interesting, motivated students - They, like students the world over, they find each other very good company. Student life, fun and romance is all in the body of students - That is where its 'at'.

Young female students seeking the attentions and sponsorship of older guys. I would say they are already of questionable personality and morality - I'm absolutely sure that the majority of their fellow students would agree. “

” Sponsored by a old foreign guys’. Let me put it this way – We’ve had many a post on TV regarding the negative views (even racism) of middle class Thais towards foreigners – Believe me the parallel will almost certainly be drawn between a Thai female student sponsored by a rich older foreigner and … subjects banned under TV rules.

A counter opinion from someone who has studied at or worked in a Thai university would be interesting to hear.

[farang prince]

Two words -- "Prenuptual Agreement." You do know how to do one, right?

[jts-khorat]

To those on this thread who concern themselves with another mans relationship giving off warning signs as to his partners fidelity, it may be their own insecurities coming to the fore.

Whenever the talk comes to relationships in Thailand, I hear this mantra of 'faithfulness'; but maybe the OP actually is secure enough in his worldview that he does not mind the girl having a little fun while he is not around anyway.

This is the 21st century, people do not stay together anymore with the sole target of getting a baby where the father needs to know it is genetically 'his' (and at the age of the OP, a baby might actually be pretty far down the list of 'things to do').

Before I do get jumped (again) by the PC crowd, I am not advocating being unfaithful or deceiving your partner; but that trust and good communication can give everybody the freedom to make the maximum out of their life without hurting somebody else, intentional or unintentional. 'Mutual agreement' is the operative term here.

Important is instead that the OP is taken care of when he actually is around and so far he does not seem to have had a bad experience from the girl here. He also has the money, as taking care of her at the moment does not sound like a major investment (like buying a house surely would be).

The girl sure sounds like a good catch, learning, and wanting to see the world. Good on her.

So why not, you both enjoy the ride!

Even if it does not work out in the end, he gets the feelings now (romantic phone calls, the feeling of being needed, having a part of his life that is not gray and boring). Well worth "paying" for, those memories will stay; so far a perfect situation where both might gain in the end, if they are clever enough to get their potentially diverging priorities sorted in a way that both can live with.

[canadiangirl]

To those on this thread who concern themselves with another mans relationship giving off warning signs as to his partners fidelity, it may be their own insecurities coming to the fore.

Whenever the talk comes to relationships in Thailand, I hear this mantra of 'faithfulness'; but maybe the OP actually is secure enough in his worldview that he does not mind the girl having a little fun while he is not around anyway.

This is the 21st century, people do not stay together anymore with the sole target of getting a baby where the father needs to know it is genetically 'his' (and at the age of the OP, a baby might actually be pretty far down the list of 'things to do').

Before I do get jumped (again) by the PC crowd, I am not advocating being unfaithful or deceiving your partner; but that trust and good communication can give everybody the freedom to make the maximum out of their life without hurting somebody else, intentional or unintentional. 'Mutual agreement' is the operative term here.

Important is instead that the OP is taken care of when he actually is around and so far he does not seem to have had a bad experience from the girl here. He also has the money, as taking care of her at the moment does not sound like a major investment (like buying a house surely would be).

The girl sure sounds like a good catch, learning, and wanting to see the world. Good on her.

So why not, you both enjoy the ride!

Even if it does not work out in the end, he gets the feelings now (romantic phone calls, the feeling of being needed, having a part of his life that is not gray and boring). Well worth "paying" for, those memories will stay; so far a perfect situation where both might gain in the end, if they are clever enough to get their potentially diverging priorities sorted in a way that both can live with.

I think this is a very good view, jts-korat.

[wolfmanjack]

If you think about it Maigo is right. What is worth having is worth paying for. Even in our home countries when we were chasing beaver we had to pay for dinner and drinks for a few nights or more before you found out if you would get "lucky" or not. If the girl was too easy (cheap) then you would not see her again because she was a sl**. If she was too hard to get then you would label her as a tease.

There are good girls here and my advice is if you want her to stay that way then keep her away from most of the other girls married to falangs here in thailand. You also have to be prepared for the jealousy.

I will leave it at that except to point out one obvious point. How many of you have been ripped off by someone you did not trust? If you did not trust them in the beginning then you did not let them get close enough to you to be able to rip you off. You kept your guard up. The best con men gain your trust first. Then they strike.

As far as wives are concerned things may be great now but who knows what will happen in the future. Sometimes people change.

[mikethevigoman]

If you think about it Maigo is right. What is worth having is worth paying for. Even in our home countries when we were chasing beaver we had to pay for dinner and drinks for a few nights or more before you found out if you would get "lucky" or not. If the girl was too easy (cheap) then you would not see her again because she was a sl**. If she was too hard to get then you would label her as a tease.

There are good girls here and my advice is if you want her to stay that way then keep her away from most of the other girls married to falangs here in thailand. You also have to be prepared for the jealousy.

I will leave it at that except to point out one obvious point. How many of you have been ripped off by someone you did not trust? If you did not trust them in the beginning then you did not let them get close enough to you to be able to rip you off. You kept your guard up. The best con men gain your trust first. Then they strike.

As far as wives are concerned things may be great now but who knows what will happen in the future. Sometimes people change.

Couple of good points there, we went back to england for almost 3 years, we met other thais ,i will say most were ex bgs, .my wife isnt, i asked her one day why dont you mix more with other thai women, her relpy was ,all they want to do is compare what they have and brag about it,.this and jealousy does seem to come from the ex bgs,. ill probably get some stick for this but the friends i have with non bar related partners do not have this jealousy thing, it seems to stem from a lack of trust brought about by what they have seen of western men in their former employment,.

[thomo]

Good last couple of posts. I'll just leave one comment before I leave.

so far he does not seem to have had a bad experience from the girl here. He also has the money, as taking care of her at the moment does not sound like a major investment

I haven't met many people who have had bad experiences from the girl while she is being completely taken care of from a distant country. Why would a girl want to screw that up, especially with a older millionaire contemplating taken her to the promised land.

Anyway, all the best, hope ye have a great life together.

Ciao.

[bjsanook]

You don't want to hire a PI so just do a simple thing yourself.

Fly in on a Saturday without her aware and show up at the room she is staying. If she's true, it will be a nice surprise for her. If she's not, it will be a nice surprise for her.

I was in your situation only I had married her. Never expected or suspected anything. Wasn't a "newbie" or "lame dupe" as they say. But, I learned my lesson on how Thai's think. Very few think for the future. Most think short-term on everything. Sort of the micro wave generation, " What can I do now for self gratification."

The PI thing isn't so bad. Charles at Thai PI is very professional and she will never know.

But, as they say, "Up to you". I agree with the others about the pre-nup. But, she will not be happy to sign it.

The main question I think you asked for opinions if you should go for getting married or not. Why hurry? If she truely loves you, and you her, then what's the big hurry other than trying for immigration? The US situation is not so easy now as you know. Mine went ok and I did it myself. Just researched everything and brought the paperwork as requested. She got her greencard and stayed in the US for awhile but didn't like it. The ladies are very social and need constant interaction. Ended up going back home and later I had the unpleasent visit.

Living together 365 and going on holiday a few weeks at a time are very diffferent.

Cha-cha I say.

Good luck,

BJ

PS: I'm 47 and a doctor. I can have all the 18-20 y/o's I want when they find that out. They are fun to be with when I visit, but can you discuss anything serious with them? Thai ladies seem to mature after 25 IMHO and some of the truely best times I have had in recent years were with women older than that.