Mia Noi Selectionh

[intumult]

Strange creatures are women.

Waved a knife at me one time and told me what she would cut off with it.

Then, one day mine told me how she could get away with 1 year in jail for murdering me.

A week or so later she told me I could have a mia noi if I wanted one.

Not so sure the mia noi would be happy with a Eunuch - especially a dead Eunuch

[Naam]

If any wife is staying with a man that takes the piss by telling or worse still asking for help selecting a mia noy she is with him strictly for money and herself is no better than a whore,.and as for the man he is at best a selfish bastard, and im not usually known for my feminine side !

it is quite arrogant to judge other cultures without ever having walked in the shoes of a local. i lived and worked in a country where it was quite normal that the "senior wife" was invoked in the selection of a "junior wife" or in many cases junior wives (plural) and nobody winked an eye or lifted an eyebrow.

of course we farangs -being superior in race and mental capabilities- are allowed to condemn, in rare cases praise, each and everything in a country where we are guests. that's the main reason we are liked so much all over the world!

[Suszzy]

One's enough.

exactly!!

what's the point of mia noi?

everyone involved will never find ture happiness!

mia noi and bad news come together hand in hand

hands up...how many people here have..mia noi?

just kidding!!

[jetjock]

what's the point of mia noi?

[Valjean]

One's enough.

exactly!!

what's the point of mia noi?

everyone involved will never find ture happiness!

mia noi and bad news come together hand in hand

hands up...how many people here have..mia noi?

just kidding!!

I have a good Thai friend who's father has two wives and families - they live a 100 KM or so apart and he splits his time between them. They knew each other and she thinks of her half-sister as family. She didn't think too much about it, wasn't at all embarassed to talk about it and just accepts it as the way she grew up and her family is. To Dr. Naam's point why get judgemental about this - people find happiness in many different ways and good for anyone who finds it in this life. Don't assume your path is the only one.

[somtaamgaiyang]

If any wife is staying with a man that takes the piss by telling or worse still asking for help selecting a mia noy she is with him strictly for money and herself is no better than a whore,.and as for the man he is at best a selfish bastard, and im not usually known for my feminine side !

it is quite arrogant to judge other cultures without ever having walked in the shoes of a local. i lived and worked in a country where it was quite normal that the "senior wife" was invoked in the selection of a "junior wife" or in many cases junior wives (plural) and nobody winked an eye or lifted an eyebrow.

of course we farangs -being superior in race and mental capabilities- are allowed to condemn, in rare cases praise, each and everything in a country where we are guests. that's the main reason we are liked so much all over the world!

Of course I knew of the existence of mia nois, I just was surprised that the wives would get involved in selection. I didn't realise it was quite that understood between some wives and their men.

[KaronSteve]

find this hard to believe,maybe once to test your loyalty ,and if you take the bait ,she takes the house

A true cynic after my own heart....555555

[gburns57au]

I would say if wifey no 1 knew about and was keeping an eye on wifey no 2....then wifey no 2 aint going to be passing on nasties to big boss man and wifey no 1.....

[Valjean]

I’m not sure there is an understanding of how this works …

Wife #1 HAS the house, car and is home with the kids. If her husband has a good job, the kids are going to a good school, the family is secure, she has status she just may decide why "rock the boat". She just may be bored with sex anyway and not worry about nasties. She's worried about the security of her family and her status. If the Mia Noi doesn't threaten this status quo it might not be welcomed but it might be tolerated. My GF estimates 10% could accept this (tiny % would really help make it happen), 90% would take the house and kids and leave. IF he doesn’t show respect, flaunts the Mia Noi and gives Mia Noi money that impacts the family then 99% his health is in danger – especially between his legs. The past few weeks my GF has showed me several articles of guys getting their member cut off. This is not a joke. (note to self…)

And this is for a Mia Noi – another women he’s in love with (or very close), taking care of her and in an ongoing relationship. I think the toleration for some action on the side if it doesn’t break the above principles is higher but mostly not acknowledged. I’m no expert but I’ve have talked to number of women about this – from different angles. There are over 30,000,000 women in Thailand – there isn’t a stereotype with regards to this. But I do think relative to the west there is a higher degree of tolerance or acceptance of something less than perfect monogamy – within the rules.

[WaiWai]

I’m not sure there is an understanding of how this works …

Wife #1 HAS the house, car and is home with the kids. If her husband has a good job, the kids are going to a good school, the family is secure, she has status she just may decide why "rock the boat". She just may be bored with sex anyway and not worry about nasties. She's worried about the security of her family and her status. If the Mia Noi doesn't threaten this status quo it might not be welcomed but it might be tolerated. My GF estimates 10% could accept this (tiny % would really help make it happen), 90% would take the house and kids and leave. IF he doesn’t show respect, flaunts the Mia Noi and gives Mia Noi money that impacts the family then 99% his health is in danger – especially between his legs. The past few weeks my GF has showed me several articles of guys getting their member cut off. This is not a joke. (note to self…)

And this is for a Mia Noi – another women he’s in love with (or very close), taking care of her and in an ongoing relationship. I think the toleration for some action on the side if it doesn’t break the above principles is higher but mostly not acknowledged. I’m no expert but I’ve have talked to number of women about this – from different angles. There are over 30,000,000 women in Thailand – there isn’t a stereotype with regards to this. But I do think relative to the west there is a higher degree of tolerance or acceptance of something less than perfect monogamy – within the rules.

All because of economic reliance, then ?

What's the attitude if these wives have someone "on the side" ?

[mikethevigoman]

I'm not sure there is an understanding of how this works …

Wife #1 HAS the house, car and is home with the kids. If her husband has a good job, the kids are going to a good school, the family is secure, she has status she just may decide why "rock the boat". She just may be bored with sex anyway and not worry about nasties. She's worried about the security of her family and her status. If the Mia Noi doesn't threaten this status quo it might not be welcomed but it might be tolerated. My GF estimates 10% could accept this (tiny % would really help make it happen), 90% would take the house and kids and leave. IF he doesn't show respect, flaunts the Mia Noi and gives Mia Noi money that impacts the family then 99% his health is in danger – especially between his legs. The past few weeks my GF has showed me several articles of guys getting their member cut off. This is not a joke. (note to self…)

And this is for a Mia Noi – another women he's in love with (or very close), taking care of her and in an ongoing relationship. I think the toleration for some action on the side if it doesn't break the above principles is higher but mostly not acknowledged. I'm no expert but I've have talked to number of women about this – from different angles. There are over 30,000,000 women in Thailand – there isn't a stereotype with regards to this. But I do think relative to the west there is a higher degree of tolerance or acceptance of something less than perfect monogamy – within the rules.

All because of economic reliance, then ?

What's the attitude if these wives have someone "on the side" ?

I was thinking the exact same thing,imagine, the wife comes home and says, "darling.would you mind if a young stud screws me a couple times a week, it wont cost much," !...Be some deflated egos about then i know,.

[Valjean]

I’m not sure there is an understanding of how this works …

Wife #1 HAS the house, car and is home with the kids. If her husband has a good job, the kids are going to a good school, the family is secure, she has status she just may decide why "rock the boat". She just may be bored with sex anyway and not worry about nasties. She's worried about the security of her family and her status. If the Mia Noi doesn't threaten this status quo it might not be welcomed but it might be tolerated. My GF estimates 10% could accept this (tiny % would really help make it happen), 90% would take the house and kids and leave. IF he doesn’t show respect, flaunts the Mia Noi and gives Mia Noi money that impacts the family then 99% his health is in danger – especially between his legs. The past few weeks my GF has showed me several articles of guys getting their member cut off. This is not a joke. (note to self…)

And this is for a Mia Noi – another women he’s in love with (or very close), taking care of her and in an ongoing relationship. I think the toleration for some action on the side if it doesn’t break the above principles is higher but mostly not acknowledged. I’m no expert but I’ve have talked to number of women about this – from different angles. There are over 30,000,000 women in Thailand – there isn’t a stereotype with regards to this. But I do think relative to the west there is a higher degree of tolerance or acceptance of something less than perfect monogamy – within the rules.

All because of economic reliance, then ?

What's the attitude if these wives have someone "on the side" ?

Disclaimer: What the f do I know? I’m farang with two ex-wives (farang) and a girl friend thirty years younger than me... I’m not a Thai woman and can’t speak for them but that said why not pontificate. So this is just IMHO

Economics is part of it. But come on how many relationships are there in the west were love and passion went long ago and two people just decide it’s better to stay together for the kids, for the stability, for the status quo – for the economics of the deal? Isn’t this the most normal thing the world round? There is this reductionist theory at play on this board (which I assume is accurate of a broader sampling) that says everything = economics. And that this is unique to Thailand. 60+ years ago my mom made the decision “I wanted to marry a briefcase not a lunch pail” and met a nice young officer in the Air Force. She married up half a step. She also liked that he didn’t wear glasses so she figured the kids would have good eyes. There’s biology at play here and women are looking for good partners. Mom lives in a million dollar condo – her brothers and sisters died without a heck of a lot. Was their relationship about money only? No not at all, but they made their deal – it wasn’t just an everyday happy relationship.

I’m not saying there isn’t an industry going on here but outside of that I think Thai women have a pretty practical view of things and like many people everywhere want a better life – and to share that better life with a good companion. But I think if you always need to boil that down to money you’re just over-simplifying things.

Woman having something on the side?? I’m sure it happens but fundamentally it’s 1) a hypocritical world and 2) I think women are and men are wired different in these matters. All not politically correct perhaps but that’s how I see it.

So in the case of Mia Noi everyone is making trade-offs. Why doesn’t the husband leave his wife for the Mia Noi every time? In the triangle each person is making and taking their deal. People are complex, relationships are complex, life is tough sometimes and we all need money to eat.

Disclaimer off. I’ll wake up tomorrow and do the best I can with the life I have and the cards that been dealt to me. It’s a messy business sometimes but better than being dead best I can see.

Edited September 19, 2007 by Valjean

[mrbojangles]

Many years ago (and even now, to a smaller extent) in the west, it was quite excepted for the gentry to have a mistress, the poor couldn't afford one. Although i doubt the wife would help choose the mistress i think it's same, same but different IMHO

[WaiWai]

Essentially, you are saying that the women don't deserve fidelity (esp. Thai women ?) and should put up with whatever happens for the financial benefits.

[jts-khorat]

Essentially, you are saying that the women don't deserve fidelity (esp. Thai women ?) and should put up with whatever happens for the financial benefits.

For the slow learners here.

A mia noi is not about the bedside fun, it is about status and face. It is mainly a money-spending exercise (same as the Benz in the garage), passion has little to do with it and it is expected from the man that he has more than ample spending power that a 'second wife' does not detract at all from the well-being of the First Wife (this is how those large Chinese family clans are built at the core, and the real realtionships can be incredible complex to understand).

For the 'on the side' stuff Thai and Chinese men go in the massage or the coffeshop. It's all over in an hour, it is discreet and only us emotional completely mixed-up Farang can possibly make a mess out of such a clear-cut scenario.

Just get off those rose-tinted glasses that scream 'romantic', they are somehow outdated since the 60s (or where never realistic to begin with).

BTW, for serious rich women in their higher years, there is a booming nightlife industry with very discreet bars and karaokes as well.

Now fidelity is really an idea that ougth to have gone to the grave with the invention of the pill and is not much more than ultra-puritanist babble; even here the 60s have obviously left not the tiniest piece of ideology behind that was presented in a way that it could become mainstream against the conservationist elements in the west ('Summer of Love' anybody, that's for me already two generations back)...

So if you sneek out behind the back of the wife to the bars, don't call your encounters Mia nois -- it only shows that you are a cultural barbarian who still has not even penetrated the surface of things here...

[WaiWai]

Errm ... well, with attitudes like that, you're unlikely to ever ...

oh !! never mind and night night !

[Ricardo]

The whole Mia Moy thing is a dangerous idea.I 'm not comfortable with.

It must be worse when children come along.

Wiley Coyote

Me neither, if i didnt want to be on equal ground with my wife i wouldnt have married her and i know she would be broken hearted at the thought of me with someone else,.very selfish and id feel as guilty as hel, some of these people have no conscience ,but i do,.i get asked at the bar all the time to go with other women, i reply im married, they almost always say, she wont know, my reply is always the same, "no, but i will "

As a westerner, I agree that I would feel guilty, about a 'bit on the side', because it conflicts with what I perceive a marriage & life-partnership to be about.

But for a Thai, or a Muslim come to that, their culture does seem to take a different view of things, and I can quite believe that my wife would, from a control point-of-view, wish to be involved in selecting a mia-noi, as opposed to a gik.

All of which is beside the point, since I am nowhere near rich enough, to afford two shopping-addictions !

[Suszzy]

fascinating..!!

lots of experts on mia noi

[villagefarang]

My wonderful wife bought me my current Mia Noi. Her name is Apple and she loves to sit on my lap. Very light weight (a real spinner) and very flexible (folds in half). Can change her appearance in an instant and always does what I tell her to. Sometimes it is hard to turn her off and put her to sleep, though. To my surprise my wife even uses her sometimes. Life in Thailand is wonderful.

[jayjayjayjay]

my wifes uncle lived with his wife and 2 mia nois , happily and for many years , all under the same roof.

Probably more like maids than minor wives!!! Think about it, living under the same roof saves a lot of money! You've got to pay a good maid B.5000 plus, so he's just formalising the deal to make sure the maids don't leave......... don't know whether to admire him or be disgusted!!!

[jayjayjayjay]

There are over 30,000,000 women in Thailand –

30,000,000 women in Thailand,

15,000,000 18 - 35 years of age,

Of a 100%, 90% very attractive,

=13,500,000 available attractive women,

40% in relationships, business women or dont like guys, there for

=9,000,000 unattached beautiful availale women in Thailand.

____________________________________________________

Men, 30,000,000

15,000,000 30 years and over assuming these guys are the ones looking for a mia noi

70% farmers, labours, that girls are not interested in!!!!

=4,500,000 remaining.

less 2,500,000 alcoholics

less 1,000,000 gamblers

less, 500,000 monks

less 200,000 lady boys

That leaves 800,000 decent males (who've got money, good job, can offer some security) prospects to 9,450,000 attractive women (girls bring the youth and beauty).

Don't argue on the science, there is none, it's just a thought as to why there are so many beautiful available women in this country!!

That leaves a ration of 11 : 1 Looks like the opportunity is there for every guy to take care of more than a couple of wives!!

Edited September 21, 2007 by jayjayjayjay

[lazeeboy]

could'nt imagine being given a girl by my wife ,wheres the fun in that.......

[jts-khorat]

my wifes uncle lived with his wife and 2 mia nois , happily and for many years , all under the same roof.

Probably more like maids than minor wives!!! Think about it, living under the same roof saves a lot of money! You've got to pay a good maid B.5000 plus, so he's just formalising the deal to make sure the maids don't leave......... don't know whether to admire him or be disgusted!!!

jayjayjayjay, another Farang who only sees the very low end of things... instead of THB 5,000, think about a car for the little Mia noi so she can do her shopping independently and maybe some nice diamond jewelry to keep her mood up form time to time.

But tunnel vision is a nice thing, as we have now multiple pages of posters repeating thus usual 'whoa' statements without obviously ever having read the thread at all...

[medicinebox]

This thread appears to consist of farangs attempting to explain how polygamy is practiced behind closed doors in Thailand which cannot help but be gibberish for the most part.

Like relationships everywhere, singles or doubles or whatever, the situations are as different as the people involved in them.

My sister in law's husband has been living in Bangkok with his mia noi during the weekdays for many years and not only does sis know about her, she is voluntarily acting as the primary caretaker of 2nd wife's son along with her own pre-teen sons. The husband comes home most weekends and all seems fine - at least it has been working this way for the six+ years I have been in the family.

Polygamy in one form or another is practiced in most of the world and only the outside appearances and cultural attitudes vary slightly.

I agree.

Different strokes for different folks.

[rainman]

That leaves a ration of 11 : 1 Looks like the opportunity is there for every guy to take care of more than a couple of wives!!

I'll try and explain to my wife in bed tonight that I want another 10 women. I'll let you all know tomorrow morning how it went.

[fletchsmile]

Just read this to my wife. Then asked what she thought about the idea of her choosing a mia noi for me. The answer was:

"Let me cut your little friend off first. Then you can have a mia noi. Alright?"

I believe/hope she was joking a little, as that was my tone. But the phrase "many a true word spoken in jest..." comes to mind..

For her not me that is.

One's enough .... At the moment.

Tho life has a habit of changing . I can't say I'd be up for helping select a pua noi for her tho'...

Edited September 22, 2007 by fletchthai68

[fletchsmile]

That leaves a ration of 11 : 1 Looks like the opportunity is there for every guy to take care of more than a couple of wives!!

I'll try and explain to my wife in bed tonight that I want another 10 women. I'll let you all know tomorrow morning how it went.

Don't worry, I already explained to her while you were at work during the day. She said as long as I'm her gik, she can live with it..

[Travel2003]

i have heard my wife saying that IF i should ever decide to ###### around, i should do it with a mo nuat (massage girl) but i shouldn't even think about getting a mia noi if i wanna see my next birthday .

Agree.

I have not mentioned this to my wife, as she would start suspecting me for something here, but this is what I strongly believe she would also say.

Have read numerous of books with Thailand as the topic.

Not counting the books written by the expats, but serious studies by people with higher degrees.

They all concluded the same.

In general, the wifes rather saw their husbands having a quick one, and not having a gf/misstress.

They saw the possibility that the husband would loose his heart to a working girl as very low.

But it was easier to loose it to a gf/mistress.