Trusting My Thai Gf...

[chiang mai]

Im sorry but this kind of information is just complete rubbish. There is some girls that may lie to you like that but there is also a massive amount that wouldnt dream of lieing to "save face" when you are in a proper relationship with them. You cant possibly say she has certainly lied, you dont know her.

I don't mean to imply that all Thai females lie and you are quite correct, I don't know the girl in question so I can't be absolutely certain. Actually what I wrote was that "she had almost certainly lied" not that she had lied. But I do know that saving face over rides most other considerations most of the time and that is part of the culture. My statement is based on the balance of probability and applies, I believe, to most Thai's. If you think that is not true, well, we have both perhaps had different experiences and/or exposure. For my part, I tend to take the things I am told by most locals with a few grains of salt until I can verify whether it is fact or not.

Edited October 8, 2007 by chiang mai

[iminthailand]

Im sorry but this kind of information is just complete rubbish. There is some girls that may lie to you like that but there is also a massive amount that wouldnt dream of lieing to "save face" when you are in a proper relationship with them. You cant possibly say she has certainly lied, you dont know her.

I don't mean to imply that all Thai females lie and you are quite correct, I don't know the girl in question so I can't be absolutely certain. Actually what I wrote was that "she had almost certainly lied" not that she had lied. But I do know that saving face over rides most other considerations most of the time and that is part of the culture. My statement is based on the balance of probability and applies, I believe, to most Thai's. If you think that is not true, well, we have both perhaps had different experiences and/or exposure. For my part, I tend to take the things I am told by most locals with a few grains of salt until I can verify whether it is fact or not.

i guess that is a main concern of mine. Is it just the culture here in general to lie your ass off to your partner? Like I told her "your past is not that big of a concern to me, just be honest because I'd be way more upset to find out you lied". Was she thinking "<deleted>, what a weirdo, he obviously doesn't understand my culture?" I'd particularily like to hear from Thais on this.

Also it seems that many of the thais are not promiscous at all and it would be reasonable for a thai woman or thai man to be with <5 people before marriage (not that I want this, but I think if she lied about anything it would be the # of people she's been with). A lot of the guys are sorta computer geeks and the girls are very reserved. I think I remember seeing a preview for a Thai movie about a guy who had 32 giks at university and everyone was like WOW, that is so many like he is the biggest player ever. It was comical that he had so many girls.

I know it is nearly impossible to judge my exact situtation. Just trying to learn about the culture in general and also the culture directly surrounding my girl.

[madjbs]

You have to give her a chance. If you make a judgement before you know her well enough then your doomed from the start.

[Tinkelbell]

quoted:......... "She went to a public university in BKK and from a middle class family."

................................................................................

.............

Most girls who work in the bars, nightclubs, tours or any place that caters to majority of male tourists, always start this mighty phrase " I'm a university student (or recent graduated) from a middle class family." They do that so they can raise the value (in term of money) of themselves. They are very good at doing this to the male tourists since these customers are new to the country, also compounded by consuming many beers. The girls could get away with anything.

I bet your girl was from Ramkarmhang Univ. This is an open univ. Anyone can just walk in and register to become a student. No GPA or school credits check. What R/U got is a mixed bag of people from all walks of life. Because of this it has lost its prestige. Thais don't look highly.

As for a middle class family, let just say right out, no single eligible Thai man from this social class would married a girl who works in this type of avenue, let alone let their girl working there (what's your girl doing in a place like this?). The real eduacated middle class won't even allow their girls going on date with a Westerner, unless he is a friend of family, well educated and holding a good position.

I say the OP would do well if he does not rush into any thing. Take time to learn what you really want in this life and learn about this girl as much as you can, before taking a big leap. Remember, you're still young, why not go out and seek adventure to enrich your selfworth life.

Good luck in your future.

[JimmyCA]

My ex used to work as a beer promotion girl on KSR. When we hooked up ,she was practically living with me from day one. The way some Thai girls do. She was smart and sexy. I lived in Bangkok with her for a year then i had to go back to London for about 6 months. I thought our relationship would be strong enough to survive. It wasn't. I found out 3 and a bit months down the line that she had met some other farang who gave her a bit of patter and went with him. Her loss and my gain. Because when i came back to Los i met my now wife after a couple of months. You just never know what they will do.

IMO what they do or will do is quite certain.

I have no expectations from the thai GF. Eventually we will part ways, it is just a matter of when. In the meantime life is good.

Go back to London for 6 months, you can find out again.

[solo siam]

Also it seems that many of the thais are not promiscous at all

I wouldn't exactly say that.

[chiang mai]

I don't want to fuel any negatives flames but a few examples here:

I've known one girl in Bangkok for many years and she is the sweetest, most pleasant mannered and reserved young thing you could imagine - she also worked for a multi national and I must confess that she got my full attention at one point. We were never romantically or otherwise involved but as I implied, she was a potential candidate. As I got to know her over and her family over time she disclosed some intimate details about herself in that she had only ever had two boyfriends and when I knew her she was about 25 years old. What I found out subsequently, purely by chance was that her definition of boyfriend was someone that she was romantically involved in and this did not include the many foreign customers she engaged with from lower Sukhumvit in order to supplement her shopping trips and lifestyle spending habits. None of those things made her a bad person as far as I was concerned but I was surprised, to say the least.

I can think of another person who's story is similar but came from a very poor background and claimed she had never had a boyfriend - ditto the many customers though. For me it's all about translation and understanding that a lie is not real a lie in Thai minds if it is by omission of some key facts.

[johnnyk]

Might as well add you will never know how many she has had so might as well open another topic in your brain... and why does it matter, unless you are insecure that she knows more about sex than you do.

...and falangs never lie, not even to save face. 555

...and how many TGs have been conned by 2 week millionaires, landing in a small, dark, old and crappy flat in a cold rainy country married to a factory worker on an hourly wage.

[PadThaiGuy]

She might be as honest as they come but rest assured, she is under tremendous pressure, from her friends/family to clean out your bank account.

[Heng]

Perhaps true... but in many cases that's the sentiment of folks who are deluding themselves (along Guesthouse's line of 'the biggest lies told in the LOS are the ones foreigners tell themselves'). Yeah, it might just be 'the evil friends and family' network. Don't forget though that he/she has been a part of that network long before they met you and will continue to be a member of that network long after you are gone.

[blizzard]

i thought talk about thai gurls and customers wasnt allowed here.

[DamianMavis]

Maybe I missed it, we were talking about falangs and thier Thai girlfriends right? Wheres the part about customers?

Damian Mavis

Edited October 9, 2007 by DamianMavis

[blizzard]

farangs and their thai gfs. same same as farang as customers. IN MANY cases not all.

when girl says she wants more money becoz insurance job not pay enuff and she chooses one where customers is a way of life,,,,, well you rEAD BETWEEN THE LINES.

beer companies dont choose ugly promo girls. they know wot sells and im sure the gurls know too.

[chiang mai]

Maybe I missed it, we were talking about falangs and thier Thai girlfriends right? Wheres the part about customers?

Damian Mavis

And I think we were talking about whether a girl might have not told the truth and the examples of girls with customers (not boyfriends) was meant to be an example of Thai culture in action.

[blizzard]

dont want to belabor point but whenever guy has trust issues with thai gurl it means does she service men?

unfortunate thing for many guy the answer is YES. its just the way thais do it.

Edited October 9, 2007 by blizzard

[Naam]

i thought talk about thai gurls and customers wasnt allowed here.

who or what are gurls?

[varun]

Bah, the OP is thinking too much.

She's a beer promo girl for cryin' out loud.

As mentioned earlier, 90% of the beer promo girls do it for the money, not attention.

It's easy cash and the working hours are good for them.

If she were indeed , a 'middle-class' girl as she claims she is, she'd most likely not be working as a beer promo girl, simple as that.

Just have fun w/ her and get another girl on the side too

[lazeeboy]

Bah, the OP is thinking too much.

She's a beer promo girl for cryin' out loud.

As mentioned earlier, 90% of the beer promo girls do it for the money, not attention.

It's easy cash and the working hours are good for them.

If she were indeed , a 'middle-class' girl as she claims she is, she'd most likely not be working as a beer promo girl, simple as that.

Just have fun w/ her and get another girl on the side too

there not second hand cars

[carmichael]

Bah, the OP is thinking too much.

She's a beer promo girl for cryin' out loud.

As mentioned earlier, 90% of the beer promo girls do it for the money, not attention.

It's easy cash and the working hours are good for them.

If she were indeed , a 'middle-class' girl as she claims she is, she'd most likely not be working as a beer promo girl, simple as that.

Just have fun w/ her and get another girl on the side too

there not second hand cars

[carmichael]

Bah, the OP is thinking too much.

She's a beer promo girl for cryin' out loud.

As mentioned earlier, 90% of the beer promo girls do it for the money, not attention.

It's easy cash and the working hours are good for them.

If she were indeed , a 'middle-class' girl as she claims she is, she'd most likely not be working as a beer promo girl, simple as that.

Just have fun w/ her and get another girl on the side too

there not second hand cars

Of course they are!

[chiang mai]

Posters asking the question whether or not to trust their Thai girlfriend, especially when they are beer promo girls must reach into the box to retrieve their answer. The box contains 99 slips of paper containing the word NO and one slip containing the word YES.

[rainman]

I read page 1, then jumped to page ...what is it? 6? 7? Can someone tell me where we're at right now?

[tartempion]

My 5 satangs worth to The OP:

Trust builds slowly and as long as you do not get deceived all will be fine.

Just remember that in the West 50% of marriages fail, no stats known on relationships, should be higher though. So don't expect it will be easy.

Obviousely inter-racial relationships have a higher failure risk due to the cultural differencies. For some the racial and cultural differences are the perks in the relationhip and make it work, against all odds.

Please consider that for us farangs, Thais are from an other planet.

Why don't you jsut ask her why she works as a beer girl?

I often eat in restaurants here in Udon Thani, see the beer girls do their job and don't see anything strange with that.

Not much different from being a waitress, more easy going probably. Never saw a beer girl being harassed by customers but the risks are certainly higher, but no need to look down on people who make some additional income working like as such.

good luck to you and your gf.