Child Of A Alcoholic Mother

[Hobox]

My former girlfriend has become an alcoholic of the worst degree.

She has left her 12 year old daughter alone and because I raised her for 8 years I take care of her right now. But the daughter needs to talk to someone and I have tried to search for some call center for children of alcoholics without success.

The child is desperate and has become more or less suicidal and is in bad need of professional help. Her father is not that interested of the kid and the rest of the family doesn't really understand how serious this is. They have just renounced my former GF and advised the kid to check into a Buddha temple and everything will sort itself out.

Are there any good webpages which explains alcoholism in thai and do anyone know of some call center number?

EDIT: We are in the Phuket area in case there are some places that she can visit

Edited November 1, 2007 by Hobox

[canadiangirl]

My former girlfriend has become an alcoholic of the worst degree.

She has left her 12 year old daughter alone and because I raised her for 8 years I take care of her right now. But the daughter needs to talk to someone and I have tried to search for some call center for children of alcoholics without success.

The child is desperate and has become more or less suicidal and is in bad need of professional help. Her father is not that interested of the kid and the rest of the family doesn't really understand how serious this is. They have just renounced my former GF and advised the kid to check into a Buddha temple and everything will sort itself out.

Are there any good webpages which explains alcoholism in thai and do anyone know of some call center number?

EDIT: We are in the Phuket area in case there are some places that she can visit

I have no idea myself, but I think that both Sheryl and garro have some experience in these areas, I hope they respond to this post, or you could try PMing them. Good luck!

[John K]

Reading your post I am assuming the mother is still seeing her just going out and leaving her un-attended.

The though of taking here to a temple is actually not to bad of an idea if the child sees strength in following the teachings of Buddha. That however should only be for a week or so just to prop her up. After that she would be best off finding some counseling, and you may have to get her to Bangkok for that.

The first task will be rebuilding her self esteem to give her some underlying strength. Once she is mentally stable she should be evaluated to decide the best form of counseling or therapy for her. For the moment if she is suicidal you must identify why. It could be guilt, loss of face, or low self esteem or combinations of them. Letting her have idle time to allow inward thinking is not a good thing if she is suicidal. Keeping her outward thinking is very important until you can get her to a professional.

[lannarebirth]

In a Google search couldn't find any Thai lamguage Al-Anon meeting in Phuket, but perhaps someone at this link could help in that regard:

http://www.aathailand.org/schedphukgrp.html

[Hobox]

Reading your post I am assuming the mother is still seeing her just going out and leaving her un-attended.

No, the mother just left her in Phuket and has moved in with a much younger guy (21yrs old) who is a known addict and banned in Phuket. The guy has told the kid that she is not welcome and if she comes he will kick the s**t out of her. They now just sit in an apartment in Bangkok and drink themselves to death more or less.

Problem with the Buddha thing is her school. If she misses many days in school she will not be allowed to take tests and she will be demoted 1 grade. She goes to a really good school which I have kept paying for even after we split up. It is a long time to the next school holiday.

Asked the kid and the school don't seem to have any facilities for kids with problems at home or it might very well be that she doesn't trust them enough to talk to them.

'll send an mail to the AA link and see if they have any good suggestions.

[kat]

Why don't you start by checking with with foundations, because that is the pre-existing model in Thailand for kids from turbulent families. I would call Father Joe at the Mercy Center, and there is another Thai foundation in Klong Toei, but I forget the name. Father Joe's would know.

*BTW - Here is information for that:

For further info contact Father Joe or the HDC at:

3757/15 Sukhumvit Rd

Soi 40, Phra Khanong

Bangkok, Thailand

10110

Tel: (66) 02 671 - 5313

Fax: (66) 02 671 - 7028

E-mail: [email protected]

E-Mail: [email protected]

Websites

www.MercyCentre.org

www.fatherjoe.org

Edited November 1, 2007 by kat

[davidthai]

My former girlfriend has become an alcoholic of the worst degree.

She has left her 12 year old daughter alone and because I raised her for 8 years I take care of her right now. But the daughter needs to talk to someone and I have tried to search for some call center for children of alcoholics without success.

The child is desperate and has become more or less suicidal and is in bad need of professional help. Her father is not that interested of the kid and the rest of the family doesn't really understand how serious this is. They have just renounced my former GF and advised the kid to check into a Buddha temple and everything will sort itself out.

Are there any good webpages which explains alcoholism in thai and do anyone know of some call center number?

EDIT: We are in the Phuket area in case there are some places that she can visit

World wide there are groups for children who get help snd support from "Alateen" these are for children of Alcoholics, there iis also groups for friends and family of Alcoholics called "Alanon" There is a group of Alanons who meet in Bangkok , here is the details and phone numbers of contacts :Al-Anon Meetings in Bangkok

Al-Anon Family Group meetings are twice a week in conference room 2 at Holy Redeemer Rectory,

123/19 Ruam Rudee Soi 5, down the street from Ploenchit Skytrain station.

Every Tuesday 17:00-18:00 (5-6 pm)

Every Saturday 16:30-17:30 (4:30-5:30 pm)

The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a friend or relative. -- from the Al-Anon 3rd Tradition.

Statement of Purpose

Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Al-Anon Family Groups are self-supporting through their own contributions. There are no dues or fees for membership.

Not sure if Al-Anon is for YOU? Come to a meeting and ask questions! All are welcome!

For more information:

Call:

Beth, at 081.904.7562

Jane, at 089.826.8527

send an e-mail or see the Al-Anon Family Group website.

There are also AA groups in Phuket who may have AlANON OR ALATEEN contacts ,:Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in Phuket

There are four groups in Phuket. Meetings are all open and in English, except for the Scandinavian group.

Phuket helplines: 081-895-4763 or 081-891-2895.

Phuket Sunday and Wednesday Night Group

Mission Hospital, 4/1 Thepkrasattri Road, Rasada District, Phuket Town

Meeting is in the second floor conference room.

7:00pm Sunday - Big Book

7:00pm Wednesday - 12&12

Patong Group

Patong Hospital, 57 Sainamyen Road,

Patong Beach

Meeting is in the conference room. 7:00pm Sunday - 11th Step/Discussion

7:00pm Monday - Big Book/Discusion

7:00pm Tuesday - 12&12/Discussion

7:00pm Wednesday - Daily Reflections

8:00pm Friday - Big Book/ Discussion

7:00pm Saturday - Speaker/Discussion

Skandinaviska AA Gruppen Phuket

Lekplats Skola Wat Karon

Plage Karon 19:00 Tisdag

19:00 Lördag

Phuket Friday Night Group

Bangkok Phuket General Hospital

2/1 Hongyok Utis Road, Phuket Town.

Meeting is in the Mental Health Offices on the ground floor. 7:00pm Friday

4/1 Thepkrasattri Road, Rasada District,

Phuket Town.

Patong Hospital, 57 Sainamyen Road,

Patong Beach.

(Update September 1, 2006 - cw)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thailand AA Home Page

If you need any further hekp or advise dont hesitate to contact me by PM

[garro]

I have sent you a pm.

The advice to seek help from AA/Alateen is good and I would try this first.

Best of luck,

Paul

[John K]

Ok than not too much changes from what I said above. Please note what I am describing above is more or less first aid to keep her from thinking about suicide.

If her mother has thrown her away you need to make her understand that her mother is not in control of herself and it is not really her mother talking. You can use the example of a fever where when she is sick whatever germ is in her making her sick has taken control of her body temperature. Then she can bridge a concept that things that enter your body can take control. Don’t take it any further than that, and let a mental health professional take it from there to build on. That should buy you a little more time and offload some guilt if that is the case. That is where I would first start if she was seeing me.

[Sheryl]

Definitely AA and Al-Anon are the groups you want. AA has been active in Thailand for sometime and there are all-Thai meetings in several locations altho maybe not Phuket (a higher proportion of the alcoholics there being Farang!).) However since they do have all-Thai chapters they will certainly have information in Thai which you can share with your step-daughter. Also, with a few phone calls to them, I am sure you can locate a Thai recovering alcoholic or Thai family member of an alcoholic who would be more than happy to talk to your step-daughter about it, even if it has to be by phone.

Al-Anon is specific for family members of alcoholics but as they have been active in Thailand a shorter time I am not sure whether or not they have any materials in Thai, but they may, so do give them a call. Even if they don't have any Thai language meetings or materials they will almost certainly have some bilingual Thai members willing to help out.

Suggest you start by calling Al Anon and the Phuket AA hotline. (see davidthais post for numbers). It may take a few calls but you will find the help she needs.

Good luck.

[kat]

Yes, Al-Anon and AA are great. l I didn't know if any existed in Thailand. As a child of alcoholic parents, those meetings helped me develop the basic tools to help myself. But, at her young age, I think she will need more than Al-Anon *(such as 1-1 therapy).

Edited November 2, 2007 by kat

[Hobox]

Thank you for all your help and concerns.

I'll call the numbers and see what I can come up with.

If someone without experience in alcoholics read this I can add that I had a similar experience as this kid when I was around the same age. My mother became and alcoholic and just left for days to drink. She mismanaged her work and finally after years of warnings she was fired. Thankfully I had a father that took care of me and my brother.

It took something like 10 years for her to realize that she was causing all the problems and also that she destroyed me and my brother's childhood. She has now been completely sober for 15 years.

After all my difficulties with my mother I know that there are very few things I can do to help my former GF, she has to understand that she has a major problem and she must want this to stop for herself. This can take years and hopefully she will come to her senses before she kills herself.

[ThaidleHands]

Trying to treat alcoholism in a religious context is just replacing one addiction with another.

If suicide is a genuine concern, immediate action is required. Try the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Clinic of the Mental Health Center at Phuket Bangkok Hospital (+66 (0) 7625 4425 Ext. 1280) or similar.

http://www.phukethospital.com/center_mental_eng.html

[kat]

Yes, but just to be clear, I wasn't advocating treating this in a "religious context". I was trying to refer the OP to a foundation that deals with these issues in a non-missionary foundation, in the hopes that they would have additional information or referrals to pass on to the OP in the absence of anything else