Marrying A Thai Lady

[LoungMaak]

In the Chiangrai forum somebody was looking for a fruitcake, maybe he should contact Johnny!!

[Jonnythailand]

Sorry for no reply so long. I guess I should give an update. No I am not a troll. Neither do I expect you to agree with my situation or even want me to be in Thailand. I just wanted your input on my situation.

I also want to apologize for that disparaging comment I made. Living in Isaan i am just surrounded by a lot of stuff I dont like to see. Mainly Farang acquaintances being duped by some Thai chick because he can't understand that while they are sitting at dinner together that the family is discussing the best way to get this dumb dude to put down the cash to build them a house, etc. I should have used a more tactful response. I know that there are those cases where successful relationships have been built between a farang and a "bar girl". If you were offended I apologize.

The girl that I love is a simple girl that works selling electronics. Being the youngest in a large non-affluent family with an already deceased father and an aging mother the family ties are not particularly strong for her. She already has many older brothers and sisters that are working abroad or in Thailand and supporting her mother.

She knows for a fact that I am not rich. I have completely laid out my situation for her. As far as supporting eachother at my current salary I am perfectly able to live and support the two of us. I am already accustomed to a Thai lifestyle and my salary is twice that of the average Thai man.

The Visa thing is an issue that I am trying to resolve.

I have also been struggling with the idea of leaving and going home. It is very difficult though because I love both her and Thailand. When I visited home last time I felt so out of place. Also, it would be silly to think there was any chance of her waiting for her overseas lover. That stuff only happens in movies. Going home would mean giving her up.

I have been considering getting a Thai education and just building my life here in Thailand. Possibly returning home some day to pursue opening a Thai restaurant or massage spa or something of the like. Naive probably, but yeah I'm young.

I have faced a series of devastating life changes already. Maybe this time it wont turn out that way.

[sober]

I wish you luck -- which is what you need...well, luck or money.

I am aware of no fee waivers for indigents. If there were such a thing, then you could seek that assistance via your school or the church that brought you here. Really, you should turn there for help and not here (half of us think you live under the bridge).

1. Your school needs to get you a work permit at least. Keep after them about that.

2. When you get your work permit, get a second and third job.

3. Then make a budget. Where can you scrimp and save. Set a goal. Show your love for your lady by meeting or exceeding that goal month after month.

4. In x months, you will have the cash you need for necessary travel, permits, and so forth.

5. But don't stop there. Continue to work under the good habits you developed in steps 3 and 4. Someday Jonny, you're going to make something of yourself. You'll be so successful, your wife won't leave you for a man with more money.

[paulsmithson]

Good luck. The law here does seem unfair and does not recognise true love, as so many of the posters do not either.

A farang woman married to a Thai man has immediate acces too Thai nationality. the reverse situation is not the same but is under review. In time I am sure that marriage to a thai woman willl become acceptable as a reason for living here without financel requirements.

Come on guys have a heart for this young guy! He is young and in love and we have all been there( in our own countries)

You are breaking the law with your work. Be aware and prepared. I toook my Thai wife to the UK some twenty years ago-on a 6 month visa. the heartache whhen the 6 months was up was unbearable. Should we flout the law??

We decided to be law abiding and she returned home and we did things then legally.

6 months later she was legally back in the uk and we married.

The law has no heart but abiding by it is he best way and making a long term plan.

If your love is true you wil; survive this

[Naam]

Come on guys have a heart for this young guy! He is young and in love and we have all been there ( in our own countries)

i second that wholeheartedly!

[bina]

destinguish between marry the girl and marrying the country

[Mosha]

The girl that I love is a simple girl that works selling electronics. Being the youngest in a large non-affluent family with an already deceased father and an aging mother the family ties are not particularly strong for her. She already has many older brothers and sisters that are working abroad or in Thailand and supporting her mother.

I wouldn't count on the family ties not being strong. My pocket rocket SWMBO tells me the youngest tend to get family house as they are the ones left caring for elderly parents. Strange that no one has aked (unless I missed it) If he is qualified to work at the school. Even helping out during the Tsunami crisis you should have had a work permit. Paid work or not. I wish you luck.

[Minburi]

Wow working without a visa in Thailand and in Thailand without a visa. Maybe she could bring you rice while you sit in the IDC.

And for that matter when does money matter if you really understand each other and have been honest about it all. But you

are living dishonestly in Thailand so how real can this all be? Go home get some education and come back. If it is meant to be then she will still be there. But stop living this lie when you know your breaking a lot of Thai laws. I think you should do some growing up before you even consider marriage.

[LadyinRed]

You'll need A LOT OF money to get married, so I agree with the poster in an earlier post on getting engaged first. Her family will understand that you both need to save money for marriage, so perhaps will 'recognize' your engagement and allow you and your girlfriend to live together like that of a married couple.

[abdulrahman]

Come on guys have a heart for this young guy! He is young and in love and we have all been there ( in our own countries)

To be young and in love can is bliss.If you're loved back is Paradise!

Then you have to look at reality:no money,no yob,no possibility to stay,legally,in Thailand.

Sorry,NO chance.

[rainman]

With 2000 Baht left in your wallet, you're not by chance that guy in Sukhumvit begging for money for his airport tax to leave Thailand? Sorry, I smell troll.

[aussiestyle1983]

Good on ya johnny. Since the father is dead I think you will find less resistance from her family about getting married, and like you said, her other siblings support her mother and she is aging and might drop dead soon anyway. Having said that, because of your situation, and it is pretty bad, you will need to come up with a life plan like some others have suggestted in order to proove that you will be able to support your future wife. You say you live in isarn and make less that 40K PM, so lets say you make 30K. It's dirt cheap living there and since you already have a woman, you shouldn't be spending your money on bar whores so you should be able to at least save 10K PM. Save a 50K dowry and offer it to the mother and see what she says, on the other hand, love is not about money and only your girlfriend can decide whether or not you are good enough for her, not some of the mongers in here who seem to have confused the concept love with the concept of greed, buts that's uderstandable of them, especially having gotten used to dipping their hand into the wallet to keep funding their relationship. Anyway, troll or not, your heart seems to be in the right place but you just need to you your upper brain and at least come up with some kind of plan for your life. I am only your age and have been married over a year now and like you, I loved Thailand and never wanted to leave, but after being back in civilization for a few months, I never want to go back to Thailand again, untill the country developes in more ways than one. So, don't rule out going home, save a bit of money and come up with a plan, because like others have said, if you don't, your marriage will be doomed, especially if it isn't based on love.

[jetjock]

Look carefully at Jonny's word usage and paragraph structure. When have you ever seen someone write so well that is 24 and only has a GED ??? Troll or not--Jonny should go home for even thinking such foolish and naive thoughts as the situation he described !

[moldy]

Well there's nothing wrong with being young and in love, and I hope the relationship works out as it seems genuine enough. A telling factor is that there is no great age difference. That bodes well, even more so if she has a steady job, or is a student. Even better if she relates to children and her family well.

The cold reality is that 90-95% (I think I'm not sure) of relationships between Farang men and Thai ladies hit the rocks and sooner rather than later, but you are in the group that stands some chance. Sadly, I suffered this fate myself and have also watched my friend's relationships come apart in bizarre and often emotionally damaging circumstances. And I mean it's often emotionally damaging just for the guys as they seem to have a bigger emotional investment.

Your girl sounds cool and decent. Often the rejoinder is "and she wasn't even a bargirl". So a word of caution. Quite often it's the girls who are naive that go out of control the most as they have the highest expectations of what a relationship to a farang will bring. Moreover, marriage to a farang is often an attempt to run counter to what their destiny may require of them (I'm being coy here). I am talking from experience here. I AM STATING THIS AS A GENERALITY IN MY OPINION SO PLEASE TAKE IT THAT WAY.

My advice is stay single but together. If you are still together in a couple of years, sure get married and love each other till the day you die.

I hope it works and believe it may.

[moldy]

Well my girlfriend believes you jonny boy. Then again when I told her lots of people in Farangland have 3 feet she believed that too. Regardless of it being true or not, it's an exquisite piece in true 'puer' sense, with all the right tugs and pulls, and love the little dig. Either way I take my hat off to you. By far the best post for a while.