Update On Traffic Laws

[Thaiboxer]

Hi folks,

Here are some of the new traffic laws: Enjoy!

1.) Only 6 people may ride on a 110cc motorbike at all times. Only the person controlling the bike may wear a helmet and the smallest child must be placed on the gas tank. In case of a collision, the little kid's body will serve as a cushion for the other passengers.

2.) It's legal to run over people at a bus stop, but only if you're driving a Mercedes Benz.

3.) The bigger or more expensive vehicle has the right of way at all times; if the driver of that vehicle is two hours away from your intersection, you must yield.

4.) Semi trucks must be driven as if they're go-karts and all commercial truck drivers are required to use speed when on duty. While off duty, energy drinks such as M-150 may be substituted.

5.) In the event of an accident with a commercial truck driver, the driver must flee the scene. If other parties are injured, the driver must finish them off and then flee the scene.

6.) Headlights and tail lights are optional and may not be turned on at night or in the rain. If they're turned on, they must be set high enough so to blind oncoming drivers.

7.) Traffic moves on the left, however buses and other VIP vehicles may drive on either side.

8.) Motorbike riders must use the footpath if getting to their destinations requires going an extra 100 meters or more to make a U-turn. It's ok to hit pedestrians on the footpath, provided it's done with the handle bars only.

9.) In the event of an accident, the driver of the bigger vehicle (car vs. motorbike for example) is held responsible...regardless of who's fault it is.

There you have it folks! Actually, the last one is a real law. If two idiots on a motorbike who are drunk as skunks run a stoplight and you hit them, you will probably have to pay big money to get yourself out. Perhaps you'll need to take the truck drivers' stance and finish them off and then flee the scene! Oh, if you get spotted just hand the boys in brown 1,000 Baht and you will be cleared of any wrongdoing!

Feel free to add your own "updates"

[stingray]

Hi folks,

Here are some of the new traffic laws: Enjoy!

1.) Only 6 people may ride on a 110cc motorbike at all times. Only the person controlling the bike may wear a helmet and the smallest child must be placed on the gas tank. In case of a collision, the little kid's body will serve as a cushion for the other passengers.

2.) It's legal to run over people at a bus stop, but only if you're driving a Mercedes Benz.

3.) The bigger or more expensive vehicle has the right of way at all times; if the driver of that vehicle is two hours away from your intersection, you must yield.

4.) Semi trucks must be driven as if they're go-karts and all commercial truck drivers are required to use speed when on duty. While off duty, energy drinks such as M-150 may be substituted.

5.) In the event of an accident with a commercial truck driver, the driver must flee the scene. If other parties are injured, the driver must finish them off and then flee the scene.

6.) Headlights and tail lights are optional and may not be turned on at night or in the rain. If they're turned on, they must be set high enough so to blind oncoming drivers.

7.) Traffic moves on the left, however buses and other VIP vehicles may drive on either side.

8.) Motorbike riders must use the footpath if getting to their destinations requires going an extra 100 meters or more to make a U-turn. It's ok to hit pedestrians on the footpath, provided it's done with the handle bars only.

9.) In the event of an accident, the driver of the bigger vehicle (car vs. motorbike for example) is held responsible...regardless of who's fault it is.

There you have it folks! Actually, the last one is a real law. If two idiots on a motorbike who are drunk as skunks run a stoplight and you hit them, you will probably have to pay big money to get yourself out. Perhaps you'll need to take the truck drivers' stance and finish them off and then flee the scene! Oh, if you get spotted just hand the boys in brown 1,000 Baht and you will be cleared of any wrongdoing!

Feel free to add your own "updates"

You are absolutely right. but on the first point you forgot the dog on the motorcycle. 6 peaple and the dog!

[Thaiboxer]

Whoops...I'll make a note about the dog! Also, I forgot to mention the new rule that pickup trucks must be loaded to where the contents are four meters high and four times heavier than the suspension is rated for.

[PhilHarries]

A slight rider to 9.

9a. In the event of an accident the farang is always at fault even if he/she was not in, on or driving the vehicle at the time and irrespective of the relative sizes of the vehicles involved.

Although I would say that rule #1 should be "Notwithstanding any of the details of the transgression or incident if a farang is involved he/she is at fault. In any circumstances of doubt in applying the following rules this rule governs absolutely" therefore 9a is not required.

[Crossy]

You are absolutely right. but on the first point you forgot the dog on the motorcycle. 6 peaple and the dog!

Don't forget the six chickens hanging by the legs inches from the rear wheel. I assume the wild flapping provides extra power to the struggling 150cc engine for climing over the khlong bridges.

[Thaiboxer]

The 110cc bikes would probably be illegal on most US roads....the government deems them too weak to merge with regular traffic on expressways and other major thoroughfares.

However, they are useful for navigating through scores of shoppers on the footpaths of BKK! They can also carry a week's worth of groceries.

[micksterbs]

Here are a few more:

10. On no account are mirrors to be used for their original purpose. In cars/pickups/trucks etc, they are provided as a useful hook for charms, garlands, medallions. On motorbikes, if still in place, they are angled towards the rider for checking make-up, rearranging hair and acne search-and-destroy missions. Also a very handy place to hang shopping and helmets when riding between checkpoints.

11. When turning right, indicators and mirrors (see above) are not to used. Do not move to the crown of the road opposite the side road and wait for a safe time to complete the manoeuvre. Rather, once you have sighted the turning, begin a gradual easing to the right side of the road and then cut the corner mercilessly scattering chickens, dogs and all other smaller road-users.

12. When wishing to overtake on a long, straight road with good visibility and no oncoming traffic, do not attempt to pass until:

a. There is a blind turn to the left or right

b. A blind crest

c. The vehicle in front, itself overtakes another vehicle

d. A vehicle is approaching from the other direction, especially if that vehicle is itself being overtaken

e. Any combination of the above, preferably all of them

Edited January 7, 2008 by micksterbs

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Those all seem pretty reasonable but don't forget---

When making a U-turn do not exceed 3km per hour.

If you are learning to drive do not exceed 10km per hour at any time.

The center line is there to guide you, so it is best to stradle it. Lining up your hood (or bonnet) ornament on the center line is helpful. It also gives you the ability to move in any direction, at any time. Don't worry about the guy behind or next to you, that is his problem.

[Mosha]

When about to be overtaken, drift sharply to the right.

[Thaiboxer]

The old 3km U-turn! Very often, the driver making that U-turn drove like Schumacher to get there and then decided to play it safe and creep around the curb. Also, U-turn lanes can magically increase in number during certain times.

[micksterbs]

How could I forget this old favourite?

13. When parking at Tesco/Homepro/Big C etc, always use two spaces.

[Crossy]

How could I forget this old favourite?

13. When parking at Tesco/Homepro/Big C etc, always use two spaces.

and drive around for 20 minutes waiting for a space near the door, even when there are 100000000 empty spaces 20m further away

[micksterbs]

How could I forget this old favourite?

13. When parking at Tesco/Homepro/Big C etc, always use two spaces.

and drive around for 20 minutes waiting for a space near the door, even when there are 100000000 empty spaces 20m further away

Hahaha, yeah, you got it. I mean, they might have to actually walk somewhere in the Sun!!!!

[sibeymai]

another...

if the traffic in front of you is travelling slower than you want to, feel free to form another lane on the road's shoulder, left or right side, and further slow the traffic flow by merging in and out of the correct traffic lane to avoid obstacles. Especially important if using the right shoulder be sure to enforce your right of way and force oncoming traffic off the road.

Edited January 7, 2008 by sibeymai

[Big A]

one more...

get 99% of your brain surgically removed THEN get behind a wheel!!

[onnut]

if being overtaken you must speed up

While driving on the right hand lane on the motorway you must drive the same speed as the person on your left.

Under no circumstances must you use mirrors before you change lanes.

I could go on all day

[Nignoy]

A couple of australian traffic regulations, that are commonly used by some expats in thailand

1/The Driver of a pickup shall always have a mobile phone in 1 hand and a beer in the other while driving,

2/If the driver is under 17 years of age no more than 5 passengers inside the vehicle, 2 on the roof and 3 in the boot, in NSW and WA boot occupants restricted to 2 under the age of 18

3/ The most important rule, you shall at no time when driving, pay any attention to other road signs and traffic lights and right of way, all other traffic must be ignored !!you and only you have the god given right to be on the road!!

If by any chance you happen to be running short on fuel pull in to the nearest Bottle shop and pick up a couple of slabs and some Bundy,at no time shall your blood alcohol content sink below 0.8 The above mentioned regs are a sad piss take but actual day to day occurances here on the sunshine coast, and frequently practised in Los too, there is not much difference in the driving standards anywhere in the world these days Nignoy

[geronimo]

one more...

get 99% of your brain surgically removed THEN get behind a wheel!!

When travelling in a pick up from Bkk to Issan, the driver must drink at least 2 bottles of cheap Thai whisky prior to departure. He or she must continue to drink on the way and have at least 22 people in the back. In the unlikely event he makes the trip unscathed, he must repeat the journey back to Bkk only this time must drink more!!!!

[PattayaParent]

one more...

get 99% of your brain surgically removed THEN get behind a wheel!!

Not required in these modern days as there's now a wifi link so when the engine is turned on the brain of the driver is automaically turned off (car OR motorcy).

[gjones]

It is also compulsory to totally ignore traffic lights that change to red, but if you do stop it is mandatory to open the driver door and spit.

[Big A]

It is also compulsory to totally ignore traffic lights that change to red, but if you do stop it is mandatory to open the driver door and spit.

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi.

Finally there is a topic where i can get my ideas out to the public. So here are, for carful consideration by that Thai lawmakers, some additional traffic laws.

Motorbikes:

1) A helmet must not be used in any other way than hanging on the mirror or placed in the front basket.

2) Indicators must NEVER be used.

3) While operating the motorbike, the operator must smoke and have a mobile phone conversation at the same time, effectively riding free-hand.

4) A minimum of two passengers is to be carried at all times.

5) A maximum of 6 persons on a regular step-thru motorbike shall be acceptable.

6) The tail lights of any motorbike have to be of WHITE colour and the brake-light in permanent "ON" state.

6a) Alternative, no tail lights at all are to be used.

7) While using the foothpath, the horn has to be used permanently to make sure the pedestrians give way.

8) While using public roads in a direction other than the rest of the traffic, the front light has to be switched to "high beam".

8a) Alternative, specially at night, no lights at all are to be used.

9) To increase safety, motorbikes with equal or below 150cc displacement have to be fitted with exhaust systems generating at least 150 dB noise level.

10) Motorbike operators must not pay attention for stop lights or any other traffic signs whatsoever.

Taxis:

1) Taxis are exempt from any and all traffic laws except the following!

2) The taxi must stop anywhere at any time to pick up or release fare paying passengers. This includes all lanes of any road and green traffic lights.

3) It is EXPRESSLY ILLEGAL to use indicators for any purpose!

4) The minimum recommended speed within city area is 180 KM/h.

5) The back of the taxi is to be outfitted with a minimum of 25 brake lights in all colours EXCEPT RED.

6) The taxi shall be kept together by wire, cable ties, duct tape and chewing gum. The use of nuts and bolts is illegal.

7) Speed meters in taxis are illegal. If such device is present, is has to be disabled.

8) The appropriate way for a taxi to change lanes is doing so abruptly in front of an approaching vehicle.

8a) Lanes must be changed frequently (every 11 meters maximum) at highest possible speed.

9) When a passenger is present, taxis shall slow down to a crawl and use the longest way physically possible to reach destination.

10) Taxi drivers shall be from up-country with no experience in Bangkok.

Buses:

1) Buses are exempt from any and all traffic laws except the following!

2) The bus must stop anywhere at any time to pick up or release fare paying passengers. This includes all lines of any road and green traffic lights.

3) The use of indicators for any purpose is expressly illegal!

4) If two buses meet, they have to use different lanes in the same direction so the drivers can chat while driving.

4a) If three buses meet, same rules apply if a third lane is available. The driver of the middle bus shall forward messages to left and right bus drivers.

4b) If two buses of the same line meet, they have to race each other.

5) On any bus, no tail lights must work under any circumstances.

6) The use of particle filters in bus exhaust systems is illegal!

6a) The use of mufflers or similar noise dampening devices is illegal too.

7) Bus engines have to be outfitted with large injectors and turbo chargers to increase the camouflage effect (black smoke).

8) No maintenance at all shall be done on any bus.

8a) Large holes in the floor are recommended.

8b) Diesel fuel has to leak from every possible point.

8c) Bus tyres shall have no thread whatsoever.

9) To increase effective operation, buses are to start off a bus stop while people are still getting on or off.

10) Bus drivers have to be drunk or on YaBaa at all times.

Trucks:

1) Trucks have to use the smallest available engine.

1a) The engine has to be revved to the max for a maximum possible time to climb 1% inclines.

1b) 150% of the maximum possible load weight is to be carried at any time to increase the low-power-effect.

2) The use of any muffler or similar noise-dampening device in trucks is expressly illegal!

3) The exhaust of a truck has to be mounted in a way that it terminates in the same height as the faces of motorbike riders.

4) In the city area, no truck shall move faster than 5 KM/h.

4a) If a second truck appears behind, the first shall slow to 4.8 KM/h to allow the other to overtake at 5 KM/h and occupy the second lane as long as possible.

5) On roads outside the city, no speed limit is imposed and the truck operator shall aim for 180 KM/h.

5b) The rule 5) applies specially to large tankers carrying flammable liquids or gases and other non-dangerous goods.

6) Trucks and trailors should be outfitted with tyres of different size and width on each axle and/or side. This applies specially to dual/twin-wheels.

6a) the use of tyres with threads is expressly illegal!

7) The windshield of any truck shall be used to place stickers in a way that there is no more than 10 cm2 available to look thru.

8) Truck headlights must function and shine anywhere except onto the road.

8a) Truck tail lights don't need to be present. If present, they must not function.

9) Trucks must NOT stop if traffic lights turn red. It has to be proceeded at slightly increased speed (5.2 KM/h).

10) Truck drivers are free from any responsibility. If an accident happens, it is because of a ghost or a mouse on the road. The scene must be vacated.

Toyota Fortuners:

1) You are always right!

2) If you are wrong, see 1).

3) You own the road!

4) Drive as you please!

5) Everyone else on the road will yield to you anyway.

(During two weeks holiday in Chiang Mai i had two almost-accidents, riding a Honda Wave... both times i was run off the road - and BOTH involved Bangkok-registered Fortuners, a white and a silver one. This is NO joke!)

Best regards....

Thanh

[brahmburgers]

#54 when taking a right turn, always take the shortest route, regardless of whether you're running another vehicle off the road. Taking a wide arc is a waste of time - roughly 0.02 seconds.

#55 If you come to a corner with flashing lights, you can slow but don't stop.

#56 When traveling on a narrow road, you always have the right of way over approaching vehicles.

#57 disregard zebra crossings, they're a quaint remnant of western influence.

#58 Do not stop for monks or elderly people who are trying to cross the road - or anyone else, for that matter.

all these addendums are predicated on the Golden Rule of Thai Driving:

You getting to your destination is always more important than the other person getting to theirs.

[Big A]

Toyota Fortuners:

1) You are always right!

2) If you are wrong, see 1).

3) You own the road!

4) Drive as you please!

5) Everyone else on the road will yield to you anyway.

(During two weeks holiday in Chiang Mai i had two almost-accidents, riding a Honda Wave... both times i was run off the road - and BOTH involved Bangkok-registered Fortuners, a white and a silver one. This is NO joke!)

You have hit the nail on the head there, mate. I have seen some real dirt scumbag bastards in Fortuners. 'I can afford this, so I will drive as I please' attitude.

Of course, this isn't to say ALL of them are fuc_kwits (about 90%!!! )

[Thaiboxer]

Fortuners are pretty bulky compared to most other vehicles here, hence they're more imposing if the "might is right" approach is used. In the States, I've seen and driven vehicles that would squash a Fortuner like a cockroach. An example is a Ford F-250, 4 door with a 7.3 liter turbo V8 diesel. It was pretty quick off the line for a diesel pickup, and built like a tank.

[Big A]

Fortuners are pretty bulky compared to most other vehicles here, hence they're more imposing if the "might is right" approach is used. In the States, I've seen and driven vehicles that would squash a Fortuner like a cockroach. An example is a Ford F-250, 4 door with a 7.3 liter turbo V8 diesel. It was pretty quick off the line for a diesel pickup, and built like a tank.

Yeah. But I'm sure they are driven more courteously and with better road manners than the dickheads who 'drive' here!!

[Thaiboxer]

Big A...you're right about that. Driving standards are better in the States than here, although the US does have its tough spots. I'm from South Florida where driving can be a nightmare and people tend to drive fast as well. Also, the traffic is pretty heavy. When I moved here in 02', I figured I was prepared, but I was wrong for sure! I had no problems driving on the left side of the road and shifting with my left hand; it's the style of driving here that made me a bundle of nerves for the first six months or so.

Examples are:

Tailgating at highway speeds...they teach the 2+ second following rule in the States, whereas here, if you leave a gap somebody will surely fill it in no time.

U-turning in BKK...rather than traffic slowing down to be nice and let you by, you have to adopt the pattern of sticking your front end out farther and farther until you've taken up two or three lanes and then you can make the turn. In FL, you have to wait for a gap or somebody will stop for you.

I think if my grandfather drove here, he'd have flashbacks of WWII