Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbours' dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.

Suddenly Paddy jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this".

He goes downstairs.

Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"

Paddy says "I've put the dog in our yard . Foogin' see how THEY like it !"

How could this be offensive? it's hilarious!

Two Irishmen were sitting on the floor. One fell off.

(that's my "go to quickly" joke, i.e. the only joke I never forget... probably because it is short and soooo pathetic)