Twins In Thailand

[hlfourie]

Hi all, I found myself a beautiful Thai wife who un-expectantly fell pregnant, we went to the doctor to check things out but he referred us to a gynecologist because of her age, apparently 32 is old to have a child in Thailand. Well the Gynecologist checked the blood which was all fine, then did a scan. He showed me on the screen where my baby was, then moved up and there is your other baby. You can imagine the shock and pleasure I felt TWINS!!! . Can anybody please direct me or advise me of any information or give guidance about raising twins. Does anybody know where I can get inexpensive or used baby things, I mean I am looking at double everything now. Or I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know if perhaps you have any unused baby things. My wife is five months now and I’m on meekly teacher salary so help will be really appreciated.

Lawrence

[Boo]

Doesn't Bambi do baby sales? I only recall hearing that somewhere but if one of our other members can confirm then that would probably be the best option for 2nd hand decent baby stuff.

Congratualtions on the news & I am sure you will be fine, no one I know can afford to have kids but you always manage somehow cause babies don't know when stuff isn't new or the latest model

[fletchsmile]

Hi all, I found myself a beautiful Thai wife who un-expectantly fell pregnant, we went to the doctor to check things out but he referred us to a gynecologist because of her age, apparently 32 is old to have a child in Thailand. Well the Gynecologist checked the blood which was all fine, then did a scan. He showed me on the screen where my baby was, then moved up and there is your other baby. You can imagine the shock and pleasure I felt TWINS!!! . Can anybody please direct me or advise me of any information or give guidance about raising twins. Does anybody know where I can get inexpensive or used baby things, I mean I am looking at double everything now. Or I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know if perhaps you have any unused baby things. My wife is five months now and I'm on meekly teacher salary so help will be really appreciated.

Lawrence

Congratulations. Congratulations.

One book I'd recommend is "First Time Parents" by Dr.Mirriam Stoppard. That's mainly for parenting generally, though it did have a couple of small sections on twins if I recall.

[Goldenbead]

I am a mother of twins. They are now almost 9 so well past the baby stage fortunately for me. Unfortunately, I have no baby things to offer but some experience and advice I have.

First of all, let me say congratulations. Remember, your hands will be full but so will your heart.

My twins (boy/girl) were born in Malaysia. Having had two previous c sections, I had another with them. Having said that, a c-section is not a foregone conclusion. Many women successfully deliver twins vaginally. You may want to look around for a doctor who has experience dealing with multiple pregnancies as they do differ from singletons. 40 weeks is term for a singleton pregnancy but 37 is considered term for twins. It is impossible to determine 100 % whether they are identical until they are born and a DNA test can be performed if you want. Just because they may be in one sac doesn't necessarily mean they are identical. Even if they look a lot alike, they may not be. If an ultrasound shows them to be boy/girl then you know they aren't!

Your wife may suffer a bit more than usual in her third trimester as she will probably be quite big and of course, two babies weigh a lot more than one. Be aware that pre-term labour is a concern with multiples. I had two bouts of pre-term labour at 27 weeks and again at 32 weeks. She needs to keep those babies inside for as long as possible. If at that time your wife suspects that she may be in labour, ie, regular, strong contractions, then get to the hospital. They will test to see. I was put on a drug to stop it the first time and the dosage was increased the second time and I was put on modified bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Once the babies are born, breastfeeding will be a challenge. I can tell you that she will need help with this. I managed to breastfeed my twins exclusively until they were 6 weeks old. I was too exhausted to carry on as I was never very successful with expressing milk. All I did was feed, burp, change and then nap when they napped only to do it all over again when they woke up.

The first year was the most difficult. Once they became mobile, it was a bit easier but they tended to go off in different directions. Our best investment was a double push chair. I would recommend one of those. Should be available in BKK.

Good luck to both of you. If you need any more information I would be happy to chat with you further. There are some very good twins forums (similar to TV) out there which are great for support. There is also a wealth of information about twin and multiple pregnancies and the whole twin thing.

[Goldenbead]

Stock Up on Supplies

With double the demand, baby supplies are consumed at a rapid rate. Stock up on the things you’ll use most: diapers, wipes, bottles and formula. An ample supply of onsies and light sleepers is invaluable. Keep items in their original packaging and hold onto receipts so that you can easily return the things that aren’t used.

Sleep When the Babies Sleep

It may sound silly, but this advice is echoed repeatedly by nearly all parents of twins or more. It’s tempting to use the precious quiet time to get other things accomplished, but you have to remember your own rest requirements. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when you’re exhausted. Sleep is a precious commodity, so take advantage of every opportunity

Get A Good Stroller

One of the trickiest aspects of managing multiples is logistics: getting anywhere becomes a nightmare when you’ve got more babies than hands. A good stroller makes it much easier. Some parents prefer a tandem (front/back) style for maneuverability in tight spaces, while others find that a side-by-side model is more comfortable for their babies. Specialized strollers for triplets and quads are also available. Although pricey, they are worth the investment.

Keep Things Straight

How much did she eat? When’s the last time he had a wet diaper? Which baby are you anyway? Setting up an organized system for keepings things straight will ensure that everyone’s needs are met. Make a chart to track feeding times and amounts, diaper changes, medications and other important information. (Hint: if you’re having trouble telling your multiples apart – even if they’re not identical! – a small dab of nail polish on one toe will help distinguish them.)

Keep it simple. Let things go. Your focus during the first few months with multiple should be on your newly expanded family. It’s not the time to cook gourmet meals, do spring cleaning or learn a new hobby. Focus on caring for your new bundles of joy, and let the little things slide. You’ll have time to catch up on those other things a few months down the road, when your multiples have established a schedule.

Organize Help

People love multiples, and they genuinely want to help. Take advantage of every offer. Delegate. Be specific. Let your eager helpers take care of meals, errands, care of other siblings, housework, yard work, laundry, shopping and all the details of life so that you can focus on priorities.

Take Time Out

Even though your identity has changed to encompass your new role as parent of multiples, you can’t afford to neglect your old self. It’s important to take time off every once in a while to focus on yourself and your spouse. Put a helpful relative, neighbor or even a teenage mother’s helper in charge of the babies for a few moments so that you can take a break. Soak in the tub, take a walk, or simply take a nap. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel after even a short break.

Be Flexible

A textbook approach doesn’t work with twins or multiples. Every family has different habits and needs and the “right” way is really whatever works best for you. As you establish a routine that includes your newest additions, be willing to try a variety of schedules, techniques and products. Remember that your multiples are individuals, and not a perfectly matched set. What works for one may not be appropriate for the other.

Recognize That This “Two” Shall Pass

Keep things in perspective. No matter how bad things get, they are temporary. Babies grow up. They will start to sleep more and eat less often. It will become easier to take them out in public. With each passing day, you are one step closer to getting things under control. Savor the special moments of infancy: the sleepy snuggles, shy smiles and sweet smells of your babies. They will soon be only a treasured memory.

[sonicdragon]

Congratulations ! ! !

I'm a father of twins. At five months they should be able to tell you the sex (assuming you want to know) so you might be able to know if they are identical or not. I would imagine that the obs will recommend a planned c-section at around 37 weeks. You must give you wife all the support you possibly can during the pregnancy - we fathers cannot begin to imagine the discomfort, pain and stress of carrying even one unborn child, let alone two. Do you live near to you wife's family ? If not then you might consider moving nearer to them if that is an option for you. Thais are extremely family-oriented and your wife will get immense support and help from them, both before and after the birth. We have a double side-by-side stroller. If it's still in working condition around August I would consider donating it to you, if you don't have one by then, as our twins should have outgronwn it by then and we will be going to the UK for a few months. But I'm afrtaid the rest of our old baby things stay in the (wife's) family. We bought almost all out baby clothes in Hong Kong so I can't advise about where to buy here. Goldenbead gave some great advice above and I don't really have much else to say right now.

[bkkmei]

hallo!

congratulations! somebody told me that Thais think twins are lucky???

anyhow, Bambi does have baby sales. The last one was in October I think. Not sure when the next one is but here is the website for Bambi

http://www.bambiweb.org/

Tip: the sales are v. popular - people are queuing up before the doors open, straining at the leash!

The Thursday meets at the Novotel are also v. useful for info and they have a range of (English) books you can borrow - there are some on having twins/multiples!

If relatives/friends are willing to fork out for prezzies - you might think of a list to avoid duplicates

also, should add

- Bambi website also has classified ads of people selling baby stuff - though not as cheap as you might think seeing it's all 2nd hand.

- baby fair at Queen Sirikit centre Feb 14-17. Do your homework first then compare prices. I was v. p/o when I found the baby stroller & car seat we'd just bought selling for a good deal less at the fair!!

Edited January 22, 2008 by bkkmei

[mumx4]

Hi Lawerence

Firstly congrat's on the twins.....

I am a mother of 4, had my first 2 which are now 10 & 12. Thought I was done having kids....FREEDOM YAH!!!!

Then my husband decided he would like to add one more to the brood, well what a surprise! TWINS....

I was just short of 35 when I had mine 3 yrs ago but they were born in Singapore, so can't give you any advice on the maternity wards or doc's here. But the hospitals are very good so you shouldn't have any probs!

I won't lie & tell you it's easy cos it's not, you need eyes in the back of your head most of the time. I take my hat off to people who have triplets or more I don't know how they cope. But in saying that they bring us sooooo much joy, to see them together playing AND fighting at times but they are best buddies & are lost without each other.

I found formula was a big out lay as you go thru so much of it, not sure of the cost of it here but your wife should breastfeed for as long as she can. Nappies was also another exspensive out lay but those things you can't help but need. Try buying in bulk maybe & your wife being Thai I am sure she will know the cheaper places to buy these things.

I have a twin pram which is in storage at the moment, I will be getting my stuff out of storage in the next month. It's in ok condition, the front bar that goes across the front of the pram has this foam stuff on it which has a few bite marks taken out of it & the handle that you press to dismantle it has a split in it but still works. If you would like it you can have it for free. I also have 2 single strollers in pretty good condition they also are in storage, but I would like to sell them. Also I have a Avent bottle sterilizer which you can also have if you wish so if you are interested please send me a PM

Good luck with it all you will do fine....

Cheers

Edited February 5, 2008 by Jai Dee
email address deleted as per forum rules

[PeaceBlondie]

Our 8th and 9th pregnancies happened together, and those girls have been almost inseparable ever since (they just turned 27). My wife delivered them vaginally, and their birth weights were 3.5 and 3.75 kg! My wife never delivered any baby on time, and the girls were one week late (quite exceptional). She breastfed them for many years. The girls slept together until the first one became pregnant (the boyfriend lived in the closet, secretly!). Ahh, memories...

[dsys]

We had our twins in England nearly three years ago. When we went for a scan the doctor said I can see two heads, wife nearly jumped off the exam table - she thought the baby had two heads. Twins never crossed our mind.

After the initial shock wore off we were quite happy about it. Then we got to the stage you are at - Money worries.

The best advice I can give to you is this Go with the flow try not to worry, you are going to have your hands full enough without stressing about cash.

As for purchases - the only thing i would advise you to buy is a pump for breast milk and use bottles. With this method my wife breast fed for 8 months. We bought a double pram and never really used it. Thai way is the best, just carry them (only works if you can be around most of the time). Don't go all consumer or get a guilt trip about not providing, the most valuable comodity you have is time and love.

If you can plan to take some time out of work, I took a year off to help out and any mothers of twins out there who did it alone - you are amazing!. As a father of twins you are going to be involved a lot more than a dad with a singleton.

As for raising them:

* I have found that you have to be ultra fair. If one always gets something first there is going to be bedlam.

* Dummies - ignore the Thai grandparents (if they are like ours they are going to be a pain in the ass) if it cries shove a dummie in its mouth.

* Spend some alone time with each one every day.

*** Keep an eye on your missus for antinatal depression - I wish I had picked up on it sooner, my missus had a really hard time the first year and a half.

* Enjoy the first year, relax and dont try to do everything perfectly. Unless you are some really crazed person the kids will turn out fine despite your best efforts.

* and most importantly - dont let your missus get worked up about "other people". I find a good answer to this is "We're not other people"

oh and lastly you need to really start thinking up some good answers for the following questions trust me the time you spend outside with them will be mostly responding to other peoples questions. Although it does have its perks, queue jumping, flight upgrades etc. -

Question - " oh are they twins?"

Answer - " no that one is 18 but has a genetic disorder"

or " I only see one here"

Question " are they both yours?"

Answer " no I borrowed one"

Question "How did you concieve them?"

Answer "F%^^K off!"

Get used to the idea that everybody is going to want to touch them as well, took me ages to come round to this.

[oldhand]

Hi all, I found myself a beautiful Thai wife who un-expectantly fell pregnant, we went to the doctor to check things out but he referred us to a gynecologist because of her age, apparently 32 is old to have a child in Thailand. Well the Gynecologist checked the blood which was all fine, then did a scan. He showed me on the screen where my baby was, then moved up and there is your other baby. You can imagine the shock and pleasure I felt TWINS!!! . Can anybody please direct me or advise me of any information or give guidance about raising twins. Does anybody know where I can get inexpensive or used baby things, I mean I am looking at double everything now. Or I would greatly appreciate if you could let me know if perhaps you have any unused baby things. My wife is five months now and I'm on meekly teacher salary so help will be really appreciated.

Lawrence

Many congratulations I hope that all goes well for you both during and after the pregnancy.

As a (now single) father of identical twin boys born in sattahip to Thai mother I would love to tell you that all is going to be easy but really this next 2 years are going to be hard work. Almost 50% of parents of multiple births do not make it through the first 12 months before splitting up (according to UK stats).

I did not split up with their mother until they were 9 but I am sure that the mood changes and crazy behaviour of their mother was brought on mostly by the enormous strains on her and the hormonal demands of the twin pregnancy.

Now that I have scared you to death don't even think about giving up because the joys of twins are immense, the love they share, the fun they have and the admiration of others has given me more pleasure than I could ever have imagined possible.

I read a great book back in the early days, I will try to find out the title and author for you.

Please feel free to pm me for my phone number if you would like to talk to someone about this.

[torrenova]

Congratulations.

Whilst I have little experience of babies and none of twins I'll just chuck in my two penneth about what I've learned as a father of one for 6 months.

I was so glad I got the Avent system before the birth. The microwave sterilizer is something I cannot imagine being without. It can hold about 8 bottles so you get some time between cleaning bouts. Get the stage teats as well, certainly the new born, 1 month and 2 month. Ours won't use the 3+ month so we stuck with month 2.

You'll need extra bottles for water, one a day we use. We had no luck really with expressing milk but the Avent system was fine when she could deliver ! You can clean up when they sleep so you need enough bottles to get through the day. Otherwise you'll be trying to clean then when they are awake. A little extra expense but worth it IMHO.

Those muslin squares I got from John Lewis in the UK ( they have a great website http://www.johnlewis.com/+Baby/Area.aspx ) were a real find. The baby clothes I bought were not really necesary apart fom the first week so I wouldn't bother that much. I have not found the baby needing more than about 3 changes a day ever.

I am still using Dumex stage one and the top priced one we started on. I keep with it as it seems the best but it is far more expensive. I suppose she's now getting through Bt500-700 a week, perhaps more. Nappies we have used Mamy Poko from new born to medium now and they are Bt699 for 72. She will get through about 4 a day so about Bt300 a week.

Laundry we have sorted out. All her clothes go into one bucket and all the towels and swatches into another one. Both have water and we throw in Attack the stain remover powder (not washing powder) and that eases repeat washes in the machine. Clean any new spills ASAP if possible but don't worry as they will come out, just not if you throw them in a Thai washing machine with cold water after sitting in the sun for 3 days !.

We wash with D-Nee which is about Bt250 per large plastic container. Often comes with free conditioner. You will get through a lot so there are ways to cut costs here for sure. If you have a cold water machine, consider putting a cheap shower heater between it and the water inlet to make it a hot water machine ! Much cheaper than buying a european front loader which will take forever to heat the water anyway. If you haven't got a washing machine, I strongly advise to put this very near the top of the wish list. Bt6-8k can get a usable one and a water heater another couple of grand.

Baby wipes we get through quite a few at Bt119 a pack of 80 (I suppose about 4-8 per nappy change) but get some Sudacreme to prevent nappy rash and other stuff. Don't know if you can get it in Thailand but we have it brought over.

Baby clothes we get from Tesco and Carrefour with the best being Le Bon / Enfant at about Bt120-150 per piece but they are so soft. Tesco have some good stuff of their own from Bt49 or so and some other bits from Bt19. Buy little and often to get maximum usage as they grow. we bought too much and some was never used.

If money is tight then don't worry about a stroller until you can find one cheap. We have an all in one which goes in the car seat base and we hardly ever use it. I'm glad I didn't pay the Bt40k+ it cost new ! I don't think I'll buy another one though but I'll need a larger car seat.

Where will they sleep ? Will you need 2 cots ? We got ours here in Thailand for about Bt6k and it has been really good (self assembly). There is nothing in Tesco, Carrefour or BigC in Pattaya remotely good enough as a permanent bed. We got ours in Nang Rong of all places.

If you can go for it, don't skimp on towels. Paying double does not mean only twice as good in my experience.

If you are near Bangkok then join Bambi http://www.bambiweb.org/ They have lots on their classifieds so have a look http://www.bambiweb.org/classifiedAds.php

Advertise in your local paper for free asking for stuff. You'll be amazed bothat what comes at a great price and what some chancers think they can rob you for. Still costs nothing. Set up a special email address for this to stop spammers.

Have a look at the kids do at the Queen Sirkit centre this month.

I know not much is related to twins but its how we got through the first 6 months and you'll need plenty of double ups so maybe it helps you decide where to prioritise and what is not really important.

As someone else stated, don't worry about clothes but do worry about bottles and sterilizers. Get a washing machine if you haven't got one, even 2nd hand for a couple of grand. Lots of clothes line as well !

Always keep a stock of food, cremes and nappies in house as sometimes you go to the store and they have ran out. No baby wipes for a week in Pattaya in Carrefour or Tesco but I have a stock. Same with food once.

Best of luck and please keep us informed how you get on.

[kannon99]

Doesn't Bambi do baby sales? I only recall hearing that somewhere but if one of our other members can confirm then that would probably be the best option for 2nd hand decent baby stuff.

Congratualtions on the news & I am sure you will be fine, no one I know can afford to have kids but you always manage somehow cause babies don't know when stuff isn't new or the latest model

They have a bring and buy sale in March. Not sure where just yet as place of venue is changing soon. http://www.bambiweb.org/

My twins were just born in July. I found that there isn't as much as you think you need. We've done well with just extra diapers and clothes. A double stroller. 2 swings, 2 bouncy seats. A twin-size breastfeeding pillow.