zoolander Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Been married to my Issan wife for two years with the majority of that time living in London where we had a nice clean apartment. Last month moved to wife's remote village in Isaan and i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalkingMan Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I am not being a wise guy, but have you considered hiring a maid? It might be an easy solution to this issue. TheWalkingMan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRanger Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Not picky at all mate, I would be livid, it is a matter of self respect not wanting to live in a pig sty. My extended family lives in Issan too and the place is always clean, I don't think it is a cultural thing, maybe you need to have a quiet word and explain to her. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I'd sit her down and have a gentle talk with her. Ask her why things in London were always clean and why it isn't the same here. There's no reason for things to be different here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEENTHEREDONETHAT Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Zoolander I think the walking man has the answer. If you have her hire a maid then she should have no reason to get upset over your request on cleaning and may really get to like it with more free time off and someone to bitch at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0Mix1up Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Maybe she expects you to do more, so by not doing it she is telling you. or Prolly should have known her standards before getting married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockyysdt Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? Her cleaning standards and related habits have probably been aquired over many years through observing her family since childhood. You'll find that most adults don't change life long habits. Depending on how unacceptable you find it, this issue might be the first of many which start to fracture your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macx Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Always have a maid. It's easier to fire the maid than the wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkman Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Been married to my Issan wife for two years with the majority of that time living in London where we had a nice clean apartment. Last month moved to wife's remote village in Isaan and i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? No I don't think you are being too picky, I am the same. But you might want to take a look around the village. While Thais are generally fastidious about personal cleanliness, if you look around in village homes and gardens they are often untidy and messy. Not necessarily dirty but not a pretty sight!! Perhaps she has just reverted to what is often the norm in Issan villages? Plus as said above its harder to keep a place clean. You need to have a chat with her, in a diplomatic way........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garro Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I can sympathise with your problem. When I first came to live in rural Thailand I was fairly appaled by a lot, of what I saw as, uncleanliness. I trained as a nurse so have develped quite high standards. After living here a few years though, my standards have changed. I have learnt to lighten up about the small things and if clutter bothers me too much then I will clean it myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nidge Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 (edited) Do you work? I would stab a guess that you are now retired as you are living in Issan. Unless you are working full time there is no reason why you should not be cleaning/cooking/ironing. After living in london for 2 years your wife is probably keen on catching up with the news and gossip from the friends and family she has been away from. If your village is as remote as the village i lived in there will be sod all for you to do. So stop your wingeing and get cleaning yourself! Edited January 27, 2008 by nidge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
citizen33 Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I can sympathise with your problem.When I first came to live in rural Thailand I was fairly appaled by a lot, of what I saw as, uncleanliness. I trained as a nurse so have develped quite high standards. After living here a few years though, my standards have changed. I have learnt to lighten up about the small things and if clutter bothers me too much then I will clean it myself. I think there is a cultural difference and in the villages probably also a class difference. This seems to me to be an issue that a lot of us struggle with. Even if you hire a maid, which if you go with the flow will probably turn our to be an extended family member, the standard of cleaning in say the bathrooms may not be quite what you expected. It would help if Thai stores sold lime scale remover. I don't know a final solution: it seems more a case of continually struggling to insist that things get done to a reasonable standard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthompson Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 You are not being picky. Life is different in the village, how many homes in your village have a washing machine or a vacuum cleaner? Few if any, if u find it too difficult by all means do not blame your wife or g/f hire a maid and explain to her what u want and how to do it. U will be much happier and able to enjoy farm life so much more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 (edited) I have a couple more things to say. First is that if my wife saw me cleaning the house, washing or ironing clothes, she would be offended. Secondly, there are just the two of us and if she decided she needed a maid, she would also be looking for a new husband. My wife is a great cook and a good housekeeper. Her dishes and cooking utensils are especially clean. She is the happiest when I stay out of her way. As for nidge, you would make someone a good wife. Edited January 27, 2008 by Gary A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkman Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Do you work? I would stab a guess that you are now retired as you are living in Issan. Unless you are working full time there is no reason why you should not be cleaning/cooking/ironing. After living in london for 2 years your wife is probably keen on catching up with the news and gossip from the friends and family she has been away from. If your village is as remote as the village i lived in there will be sod all for you to do. So stop your wingeing and get cleaning yourself! I draw the line at the ironing though. I expect a clean fresh shirt, suitably starched in the collar so firmly that I can retain a stiff upper lip, to be laid out carefully in my boudoir every day. Your standards are slipping Nidge, you have gone native Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetchariot Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 But you live in Isaan, what do you expect? Everythings dirty up there, haha Seriously I like to cook, and only let my missus in the kitchen once a fortnight to make her chicken liver phad krapao, which is awesome. Have never ironed a shirt in my life, always had staff to do sh1t like that. Cleaning???? I hope you are joking. Give your missus a clip round the ear and explain the heirarchy of the relationship, I'm sure she will come around. 'Women - know your place' as Chulmondley Warner would say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Frog Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 I confirm it is a question of training and education: most of Issan wives are of good will but it is not in their childhood environment, you have to fill the gap and explain hygienic issues, and throw away the TV which is spoiling time, if you want an active wife not looking the soap drama.... (If you need information 15 minutes on Internet is enough) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinrada Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Takes time...finally convinced K.Wifee not to iron my socks........ however always got about 20 M&S shirts beautifullly ironed,trousers pressed and shoes gleaming ready for work in the morning.....cant complain ....although she has stopped dusting down my mobile phone .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zorro1 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 She wants you to leave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tubber Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 <br />But you live in Isaan, what do you expect? Everythings dirty up there, haha <img src="style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="biggrin.gif" /> <br /><br />Seriously I like to cook, and only let my missus in the kitchen once a fortnight to make her chicken liver phad krapao, which is awesome.<br /><br />Have never ironed a shirt in my life, always had staff to do sh1t like that. Cleaning???? I hope you are joking.<br /><br />Give your missus a clip round the ear and explain the heirarchy of the relationship, I'm sure she will come around.<br /><br />'Women - know your place' as Chulmondley Warner would say.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Good advice Sweetchariot, a swift boot up the arse is required. Isaan women have a very good way of re-arranging the dirt so it doesn't look so bad rather than actually cleaning it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave the Dude Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 how many homes in your village have a washing machine or a vacuum cleaner? The dirt floor plays havoc with the vacuum cleaners BTW Mr Dysan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Do you work? I would stab a guess that you are now retired as you are living in Issan. Unless you are working full time there is no reason why you should not be cleaning/cooking/ironing. After living in london for 2 years your wife is probably keen on catching up with the news and gossip from the friends and family she has been away from. If your village is as remote as the village i lived in there will be sod all for you to do. So stop your wingeing and get cleaning yourself! some good points there nidge ,,, life is to good here to be worried about a "little" dirt anyway ,,, a "lot" of dirt thats a bit different and as always ,, if you want something done properly ,, do it yourself ,,,,, relax ,,, enjoy cheers egg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jandajoy Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Been married to my Issan wife for two years with the majority of that time living in London where we had a nice clean apartment. Last month moved to wife's remote village in Isaan and i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? Possible game plans..... Try doing some intensive cleaning when there are other Thais in the house. As suggested below, sit down and ask why the that house isn't as clean as London. Hire maid. Divorce wife and get new one. Get lots of dogs to lick the floors clean. Chickens are good to, except for the stuff the produce. Drink a lot more Leo. Get the, whatever it is, out of your back bottom and chill. Go back to London Just trying to be helpfull pip pip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegemite Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Been married to my Issan wife for two years with the majority of that time living in London where we had a nice clean apartment. Last month moved to wife's remote village in Isaan and i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? I dont blame you at all for feeling this way. When we visit my wifes village, all rubbish goes straight out the window. What the chickens dont eat ( the plastic bits ) gets raked up every blue moon and burnt. Tables and the like are there for hideing used plates for a few days and to give the armies of ants something to survive on until next time. It just seems to be normal where we go. This is a remote village and probably different to larger centers. It really pisses me off. They seem to have no idea about food safety and must have guts like dogs. I am not a clean fanatic, far from it. When we were upcountry last time ( March 07 ) I got a dose of the sh*ts for a full week and I was being carefull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RY12 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 How about throwing newspapers on dog piss on the apartment floor do postpone mopping it every other day? Of course it would be un-Lao of you not to "carelessly" step in it a little bit, or let the dogs track it around the floor. but i guess it IS a show when the bleach reacts with the ammonia in the piss. There doesn't seem to be any lack of knowledge of the existence of germs and how they work, so I'm not sure what's going on. There are some things I agree make Westerners' habits dirtier- like wearing shoes in the house (a ancient habit of nomadic Indo-Europeans I'm told), smearing crap all over our rears with toilet paper rather than having a toilet hose, or not showering for a few days... but overall I think Isaan village habits are less hygenic. On the other hand u could look at their habits like they're just perpetually camping, and certainly I leave a lot a uncleaned junk around at the campsite when I have no running water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Been married to my Issan wife for two years with the majority of that time living in London where we had a nice clean apartment. Last month moved to wife's remote village in Isaan and i'm finding the standard of my wife's cleaning to be sub-standard. This is from the cooking area to general areas inside and outside too. At present i'm finding this unacceptable and find myself constantly cleaning. Do you think i'm being to picky? sounds like YOUR standard of cleaning is substandard as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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