Family/friends Asking For Money

[Totster]

My wife also sorts out this sort of thing. She'll sometimes ask my opinion tho' and I normally ask "what's in it for me?".

She has been lending money to a number of villagers and takes the deeds to their houses as security and then charges them an extortionate interest rate. I've asked her to stop doing this as I don't like the idea of her becoming a loan shark (her father was murdered by debtors).

Debts are rarely repaid in full.

My GF recently loaned her brother some money (small amount) and took his motorbike and registration as surety.. !

totster

[Pepe']

The problem here is once you help one person, the word gets out and the

leeches are all over you. Then if you say "no" to them - they will hold a grudge

against you.

I do this with my wifes family: the ones that are good I help when they

absolutely need it. The bad ones I never help - I dont care if they were dying.

I have been married for 6 years so I know who is who. Its clear to see the

ones that stayed upcountry have a great heart, but the ones that went to work

in the cities turned into very bad people and try to rip off falangs or Thais any chance

they can get.

One of my wifes sisters named Gap, very very nice person, I'd do anything

to help her if she was in a jam as she has helped me many times without even

asking for 1 satang. She is always barking at the losers "GET A JOB" (its funny.)

Her other sister Lek is a prime candidate for an Exorcism - PURE EVIL.

Even Jesus said "Do not throw your pearls to swine".

I think this is a good level headed approach similar to one I've employed. I have Thai relatives that are angels and those that are truely evil. I avoid the bad ones now.

It's easy living in San Diego but we do spend a good bit of time in Thailand still.

My brother in law in Samut Salorn says he just tells them he is broke and that's usually the end of the conversation.

[huski]

In one word. NO! In two words. #### OFF! In 3 words, GET A JOB!  In 4 words, I HAVE NO MONEY! In 5 words, STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY! In 6 words. STOP ####### ASKING ME FOR MONEY. In 7 words. I WONT TELL YOU AGAIN, #### OFF!. in 8 words, DO YOU THINK THAT I'M MADE OF MONEY? in 9 words WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? YOU MONEY GRABBING B######S?  In 10 words, WHY DONT YOU ####### EAT MY #### AND DIE! LEECHES!

Sorry about that but just thought the answer would be easy. see 1 word. If they dont get the message then just work up the list till they do.

Anymore?

[Pepe']

In one word. NO! In two words. #### OFF! In 3 words, GET A JOB!  In 4 words, I HAVE NO MONEY! In 5 words, STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY! In 6 words. STOP ####### ASKING ME FOR MONEY. In 7 words. I WONT TELL YOU AGAIN, #### OFF!. in 8 words, DO YOU THINK THAT I'M MADE OF MONEY? in 9 words WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? YOU MONEY GRABBING B######S?  In 10 words, WHY DONT YOU ####### EAT MY #### AND DIE! LEECHES!

Sorry about that but just thought the answer would be easy. see 1 word. If they dont get the message then just work up the list till they do.

Anymore?

That was very good also

[Khun Bob]

I understand that there are no hard and fast rules for this and that for different people and situations there are different ways. Also whe it involves family there are compassionate circumstances.

In the many posts there are some nuggetts of wisdom :

Make it clear your not a cash cow and get to know the person

Make it clear who your taking care of and where the boundaries are

In dealing with requests for money here are some possibilities :

Say no - in various ways !

I dont have any money or money is tied up

Let your thai wife/gf/partner deal with money issues

Offer a loan - but take something as collateral - eg property etc or ask for a service -eg cleaning

I have some further questions :

If you leave your thai wife/gf/partner in charge of the money do you give her a certain amount per week to buy shopping etc and then it is up to her to manage the money and she knows how much she gets and she doesnt have to ask you to pay for everything ? Any advice on this or experiences you wish to share ?

Cheers

[loong]

If you leave your thai wife/gf/partner in charge of the money do you give her a certain amount per week to buy shopping etc and then it is up to her to manage the money and she knows how much she gets and she doesnt have to ask you to pay for everything ? Any advice on this or experiences you wish to share ?

I don't give the gf a set amount.

If we go on a big shop, I pay.

I pay the household bills.

I leave what I suppose you would call a petty cash fund in the wardrobe, usually no more than 200 to 500 Baht. She just takes what she needs.

She prefers this arrangement because she admits that she loses money to easily. For example she will put cash in the outside unzipped pocket of her jacket, ride the motorbike to the shops, jacket flappping in the breeze. Of course when she arrives the cash has disappeared.

[Khun Bob]

So I wonder - if you want to let your gf/wife manage the money what is the best way to do that ?

Looking forward ro hear from you..

[loong]

Khun Bob

If you really want to let the gf handle the money, you will have to sort it out between the 2 of you. Same as you would in the if you were a married couple anywhere in the world.

If you are not sure how much and can't agree. Why not handle the cash yourself for a while? This will give you an idea how much you need for food and household expenses etc. Add a bit on top and give that to her each week.

I say give her weekly, cos is almopst certain that the end of the money will come b4 the end of the month. Very few Thais seem to be abke to hold on to cash for long.

[alanw]

I've had a few requests over the years from Thai friends, and their friends. Mostly explained that my money is in a special overseas bank which I cannot touch for at least 10 years.

Worst experience was with a farang, a close friend, who claimed he needed money for rent & food, but in fact it was for bar fines. Money has never been repaid.

Plus I discovered years later that same guy stole my expensive camera and pawned it. At the time he helped me search everywhere for the camera, revisit places we had recently been to etc.

[Student]

yeah I think a weekly allowance would be the best way to go, but I'd still give her 25% less than the initial amount cause it's bound to happen that she'll be out of cash in the middle of the week and ask you for some more