Visiting Bangkok

[jdinasia]

:-) again. I am not the one here slagging off on the Thais all the time :-) But you MUST be right and me wrong :-)

[Ijustwannateach]

I sure hope the Thais are grateful for all this spirited, if misguided, defense... of course, last I heard, Thais themselves complain about the very same qualities (if such they are) that I and others find undesirable. Farang partners are occasionally (not always, in other words) looked at as sources of greater stability and dependability.

Ready2go, getting back to you and the actual topic- it's up to you on how you want to handle this. From a cool, neutral point of view, I say your silence is the best revenge and it's no way to enjoy your vacation to have this guy on your mind. If you can get him out of your hair before you come, [or if you get the come out of your hair before you arrive, or something like that ] you'll be in a MUCH better position to enjoy your holiday here. And trust me, there're LOTS of more decent guys, even on the tourist scene, than this one. [but no one notices when I compliment Thai guys! ]

A word of advice though- as long as you're a tourist, don't take it all so seriously. You're a tourist! I know you talked about coming to live here, etc., etc.- but take it from someone who's done it- the way you will be looked at while you're here as a tourist, is as a *tourist*. How seriously can you take someone who comes here two weeks at a time? Sure, it's fun, but the fun ends- you go home, you go back to ordinary life, the Thai guy finds someone else. Don't get so serious yourself *until you've already moved here*- then you'll be moving in completely different circles (if you're smart) and you'll find the guys who aren't just looking for Mr. Tonight-or-maybe-for-a-two-week-trip.

Those guys will still be Thai and no doubt both sweet and maddening, but you'll have a much better chance at finding a good one that way. And if you *DON'T* move here, don't worry too much (or think too much, as the Thais say). Enjoy your vacation and don't try to hold on to folks too hard.

Good luck once again, whatever happens. I don't expect that the confrontation you want to engineer will have happy results.

"Steven"

[Readytogo]

Ready2go, getting back to you and the actual topic- it's up to you on how you want to handle this.  From a cool, neutral point of view, I say your silence is the best revenge and it's no way to enjoy your vacation to have this guy on your mind.  If you can get him out of your hair before you come, [or if you get the come out of your hair before you arrive, or something like that

A word of advice though- as long as you're a tourist, don't take it all so seriously.  You're a tourist!  I know you talked about coming to live here, etc., etc.- but take it from someone who's done it- the way you will be looked at while you're here as a tourist, is as a *tourist*.  How seriously can you take someone who comes here two weeks at a time? 

Good luck once again, whatever happens.  I don't expect that the confrontation you want to engineer will have happy results.

"Steven"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks IJWTT.

My friend is due to meet the other guy (who will not be there) at the airport on Thursday night. I was feeling lousy about this and almost changed my mind about it but then I decided I would let him go ahead. After all, he has messed me about.

I'm still, deep-down, hung-up about him but I think after the airport incident, I will just send him a goodbye e-mail, rather that wait to get to Thailand.

It is my plan to move there and I have just completed a TEFL type course (CELTA) in preparation for this. When I get there, I will be looking for work and the last thing I will need will be dramatic confrontations.

However, I will let you know what happens at the airport! Watch this space at the weekend.

Bet you'd love to know how I am intercepting the e-mails. Absolutely nothing technical or hack-ish, I can assure you!

[Readytogo]

Well, I did it.

My double-dealing friend (his name is Am) went to the airport to meet his "other" friend (who did not know he was supposed to be there - his name is Raymond) and went home disappointed.

Surprise surprise! Am rang me the next morning to tell me that he was still at home with his mother but would be going to Bangkok soon and when would I be able to go there? He is missing me very much. This after telling me that he would not be able to be in Bangkok until January/February. Only the couple of people that have followed this story will understand.

The comical thing is that he 'phoned Raymond today. I know this because Raymond's e-mails come to me, not to Am.

Raymond wrote a really pleasant e-mail....thanks for calling me... nice to hear from you....unexpected...could not understand what you were saying though...

No wonder he couldn't understand. Am was probably trying to ask him in broken English "Why the ###### you no in Bangkok?" but his accent and grammar are poor and Raymond, thinking it was just a social call, had no idea what he was talking about.

So now I am just about to send the e-mail that will explain to Am everything that has been going on. I have written to him in Thai and it has taken me three days to write it (about 4 pages).

Funny thing is, my 21-year-old nephew met him in Bangkok yesterday. My nephew knows him because Am came to Ireland in August and we all met up there. So Am meets my nephew in Bangkok (having told me the same day that he was in Petchabun!) and suddenly I get a text from Am to say that he is on his way to Bangkok to start work again. Priceless. You could not write the script.

Tomorrow will be interesting. I will not be accepting calls from Am or persons unknown. I was feeling guilty but the closer this has come to a conclusion, the more I have realised that has never had any real feelings for me and that he has been using me all along. Hard to accept but I would be some fool of a man if I did not accept it.

If you are interested (or, indeed, if you are not!), I will post the conclusion soon.

[Ijustwannateach]

Heh... I just figured you were writing to him as "Raymond" the whole time, so that you *are* the other guy he's dating. Still, a bit of a waste of time.

Though I can understand your initial reaction- this happens to all of us at least once out here. You learn the signs, the questions to ask, and what types to avoid. Then the dating world seems less easy for awhile- until you get to know more people, and then it gets easy again- and then gets hard again- and so on!

That's the rollercoaster of Thai life!

"Steven"

[Peripheral]

Heh... I just figured you were writing to him as "Raymond" the whole time, so that you *are* the other guy he's dating.  Still, a bit of a waste of time.

Though I can understand your initial reaction- this happens to all of us at least once out here.  You learn the signs, the questions to ask, and what types to avoid.  Then the dating world seems less easy for awhile- until you get to know more people, and then it gets easy again- and then gets hard again- and so on!

That's the rollercoaster of Thai life!

"Steven"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, not a waste of time exactly. I got to practice writing in Thai.

No satisfaction, though, as you predicted. He reckons now that he knew it was me who was sending him the e-mails (from Raymond). Yet he went to the airport to meet him....????

Just no point trying to reason over this.

At least I can say cheerio without too much guilt but the trouble is, I don't really want to...

But I am going to anyway. I'd be mad not to.

I will be arriving in Bangkok in February for a holiday/work-searching expedition. I have just finished my CELTA (got a grade B, Wahay!) and now I have to put this experience behind me.

My next post will be on the teaching part of the forum and hopefully I won't be posting any more stories of woe on this section.

[Ijustwannateach]

Well, not a waste of time exactly. I got to practice writing in Thai.

No satisfaction, though, as you predicted. He reckons now that he knew it was me who was sending him the e-mails (from Raymond). Yet he went to the airport to meet him....????

Yup, he's gotta keep saving face. Plus he can pretend he wasn't trying to "cheat" on you.

Just no point trying to reason over this.

At least I can say cheerio without too much guilt but the trouble is, I don't really want to...

That's what he's counting on.

But I am going to anyway. I'd be mad not to.

Indeed!

I will be arriving in Bangkok in February for a holiday/work-searching expedition. I have just finished my CELTA (got a grade B, Wahay!) and now I have to put this experience behind me.

My next post will be on the teaching part of the forum and hopefully I won't be posting any more stories of woe on this section.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You will if you keep dating on Patpong! Good luck, and stay outta Silom!

"Steven"