Wife Wants A Junior

[phutoie2]

While watching the usual channel 7 soap with wife last night she casually informs the 'master of the house'

that she has run out of those birth control pills and she wants a 'junior'.

I look, but never respond too much! and eventually say, hmmm-.

I am in 51/ going on 52 and (T)wife is 28. In the early 1980's (UK) my first wife and I had two children, now well into adulthood.

My Thai wife has tried for children with a previous partner but no success and I think this was when she was in her early twenties. She does not like to talk too much about it and I only found this out from my good friends wife!!!

So I have been giving this some thought all day, should I become a Dad once again??.

When I go to the local Tesco's/Big C, I often see some old guys pushing the trolley around with 'farang babies' as my wife descibes them and I usually think poor bloke!- if you think thats going to me!.

Anyway I have given myself some time , by informing the wife that I need to talk to a Doctor.

So good plan or what?, wife wants children - fair enough, myself, still thinking, what about all the complications, what if - scenarios. Is it just me, that these young Thai girls think we farangs can just bang a sprog out when ever! they wish.

[Sheryl]

While watching the usual channel 7 soap with wife last night she casually informs the 'master of the house'

that she has run out of those birth control pills and she wants a 'junior'.

I look, but never respond too much! and eventually say, hmmm-.

I am in 51/ going on 52 and (T)wife is 28. In the early 1980's (UK) my first wife and I had two children, now well into adulthood.

My Thai wife has tried for children with a previous partner but no success and I think this was when she was in her early twenties. She does not like to talk too much about it and I only found this out from my good friends wife!!!

So I have been giving this some thought all day, should I become a Dad once again??.

When I go to the local Tesco's/Big C, I often see some old guys pushing the trolley around with 'farang babies' as my wife descibes them and I usually think poor bloke!- if you think thats going to me!.

Anyway I have given myself some time , by informing the wife that I need to talk to a Doctor.

So good plan or what?, wife wants children - fair enough, myself, still thinking, what about all the complications, what if - scenarios. Is it just me, that these young Thai girls think we farangs can just bang a sprog out when ever! they wish.

Since this is really not a medical issue, butrather a personal life decision, I am moving it to the family forum as that seems liek the most appropriate place.

[Carib]

Hi, well as you stated you know she has tried before, so the wish is really there. Taking the age difference into account it is a "risque" you take.

And yes it is all part of the deal.

And thinking" poor bloke"... well maybe it is not really so, but very hard to find out in advance.

Do the right thing..TALK to each other, i think that is the first step. Good luck.

[torrenova]

My missus got pregnant in October 2006 as a direct result of her inability to remember when to start the next packet of contraception pills (why don't thai ones have 7 salt tablets as in the west ?). I never wanted kids but I never had the snip. Why ? well I went through this argument with myself some time ago.

At just the right side of 40 I knew that any long term relationship would probably be with someone somwhat younger than myself. Why ? I'm sorry but I don't want to wake up in 10/15 years with an old boiler of a wife who I cannot stand the sight of. If I am 60 and she is 40/45 then there is a chance I may still find her attractive enough.

I've never been keen on women with baggage so the liklihood of me taking on someone else's kid was highly unlikely. Also, a lot of women's bodies go to pot after a kid. I didn't need to put up with that.

So any potential candidate would likely be under 30 and more probably in their early 20s and almost certainly without kids. Now you go talk to any woman in the world let alone a Thai girl and you'll find that they want kids.

I didn't want to have the snip and lie. I also knew that saying I could not have kids would quite possibly end a relationship either before it had begun or at some time later. I didn't want to lose someone for that reason.

What I did want was to be part of the decision making process and I was not. My involvement was afterwards, deciding whether to keep the baby or have an abortion. My missus had lost one in a previous relationship and thought she could not become pregnant again so she was very keen to have it. I'll be honest and tell you that I didn't really have much choice in the matter.

So before you decide try and work out what you will lose. It is good that the subject is in the open before the decision has been made. Think carefully about the financials and your retirement. She won't, Thais don't think of things like that. She just wants a kid because her time is now.

I wish you all the best and I truly hope you do not have to choose between having a kid that you don't really want and losing your wife or at least bringing in a great deal of pressure to the relationship.

As for me, I love my daughter and I value the chance that has been presented to me but I totally resent the fact that the timing and the manner in wihch her conception came around were totally out of my control. It has caused serious problems in the relationship between her mother and myself.

[billd766]

I divorced my UK wife in 1999 and married my long term Thai lady in 2000. I am 21 years older than her.

I have a son of 30 next month in the UK.

My Thai wife had discussed having a child or children or if it didn't work perhaps adopting.

In 2004 on August 1st my wife had our son a few weeks premature (the first time I have known her to early).

He is now 3 1/2, she is 42 and I will be 63 in May.

He was the best present that my wife could ever give me and I love them both so much.

He gets spoiled a bit but I draw the line and it moves as he gets older. He is the apple of my eye.

Was it worth it.

For us definitely, for others it depends on both wife and husband and how much each wants or doesn't want a child.

I used to change his pampers when he was younger (some things never change) and clean him up when he puked everywhere, sing him lullabies and read to him.

Payback comes in a few year when he has to change my pampers.

My son and a friend in January this year

[maisampatpom]

While watching the usual channel 7 soap with wife last night she casually informs the 'master of the house'

that she has run out of those birth control pills and she wants a 'junior'.

I look, but never respond too much! and eventually say, hmmm-.

I am in 51/ going on 52 and (T)wife is 28. In the early 1980's (UK) my first wife and I had two children, now well into adulthood.

My Thai wife has tried for children with a previous partner but no success and I think this was when she was in her early twenties. She does not like to talk too much about it and I only found this out from my good friends wife!!!

So I have been giving this some thought all day, should I become a Dad once again??.

When I go to the local Tesco's/Big C, I often see some old guys pushing the trolley around with 'farang babies' as my wife descibes them and I usually think poor bloke!- if you think thats going to me!.

Anyway I have given myself some time , by informing the wife that I need to talk to a Doctor.

So good plan or what?, wife wants children - fair enough, myself, still thinking, what about all the complications, what if - scenarios. Is it just me, that these young Thai girls think we farangs can just bang a sprog out when ever! they wish.

Hi. Like any other animal on this planet, reproduction, followed by survival long enough to ensure that the produced also reproduces, is our sole purpose of existence. The ignorant human intellect/ego/self, being a corruption of that nature, however, forms all kinds of phenomenal justification to the contrary.

The 'desire' of your young partner to be a mother is out of her control and, if not satisfied, will remain with, and be a burden to, her, and therefore your relationship, until this need is satisfied. If it is not satisfied she is likely to feel incomplete for her remaining time here, having not fulfilled her purpose of existence. You, on the other hand, have already fulfilled your purpose on the planet and only the intellectual phenomena remain.

If you truly love and care about 'wife' you will not consider the selfish act of denying her motherhood.

So, I think you have to look at who's interests you are considering and where these considerations are coming from. I'm sure this is a common problem in old(er) man/ young(er) woman relationships where the 'master of the house' has already done his thing elswhere. If you can't come to terms with this you could easily lose her to a more willing fertile alternative, as her nature could easily prevail, or making her dissatisfied and quite unhappy for the rest of her life.

The choice is clearly yours, but I know what I would do.