Its Not About Culture, Its About Being Human

[favre360]

So i'm drinking at my buddy's apt. in Lamlukka and i'm getting hungry so I go down to the market to get some noodles. Its like 11pm and this guy is standing there arguing with his wife or g/f. Suddenly this guy like straight up punches her right in her face.....like HARD. She hits the ground and the back of her head collides with the pavement with a thud. Instantly she goes into seizure mode, her eyes rolling completely up into her head. I charge at the guy head on (im 190cm) and slam him into his truck so hard that the passanger side window cracks on impact. Im two seconds away from giving this cowardly lowlife the beating that'll take him closer to death than hes ever been. I want him to feel exactly what its like to have no one there to help him when suddenly 4 of the guys who have been watching the ordeal rip me off and throw me down across the street. I take out my phone and call the police when these four guys start ripping me apart to smash my phone. Immediatly the guy throws his still convulsing g/f into the truck and peels off. The other four guys casually walk away and go back to they're business.

When I went back to the apt. everyones like jesus christ what the fuc_k happened. I told them exactly what happened and a Thai guy who speaks decent english told me in Thailand you must never defend anyone who you have no relation with. Because it wasn't my business the other random 4 guys who smashed my phone were helping the coward. The other farang i was with immediatly went down to the market to find the other 4 guys and give them a beating but as soon as they saw us they took off on their motorbikes.

Conclusion: Culture is one thing, but sitting by while a woman who is having a seizure and possibly minutes away from death and not doing anything is horrible. Even worse, when someone tries to defend her, you help the attacker. Why? I can not understand. My thai friend told me I could have gotten arrested for what I did, but thats fine by me because sometimes its about being human.

[sbk]

Can I ask why you didn't try to help her first instead of punching her husband/boyfriend/brother/whatever in the face? I mean, my first reaction would have been to rush to help the fallen woman, who clearly needed help.

[p_brownstone]

Can I ask why you didn't try to help her first instead of punching her husband/boyfriend/brother/whatever in the face? I mean, my first reaction would have been to rush to help the fallen woman, who clearly needed help.

Absolutely agree with sbk.

If you were so upset at the attack on the woman your obvious initial reaction should have been to help her - not attack the man.

Pseudo macho (alcohol fueled?) actions like yours will inevitably result in exactly what happened to you.

Patrick

[favre360]

IMO any coward that hits a woman most likely has some kind of weapon as well. Apparently it wasn't my business at all so if I went to help the woman first I have this messed up dude standing less than 2 feet from me. Whos to say im not going take a kick in the mouth or this guys going to pull some really insane stuff, then nothing will be accomplished. The first thing you learn in any martial arts class is to neutralize the threat.

[taxexile]

The other farang i was with immediatly went down to the market to find the other 4 guys and give them a beating but as soon as they saw us they took off on their motorbikes.

yeah , right.

[micksterbs]

Can I ask why you didn't try to help her first instead of punching her husband/boyfriend/brother/whatever in the face? I mean, my first reaction would have been to rush to help the fallen woman, who clearly needed help.

Quite. Or do you, like, just, like, enjoy, like, a, like, fight? Like...

[soundman]

My thai friend told me I could have gotten arrested for what I did, but thats fine by me because sometimes its about being human.

Yes, if the guy you hit wanted to press charges against you and the girl didn't press charges against him, you would have been the only one arrested.

Being "manly" in Thailand can have severe consequences for one's health, especially if one hasn't developed a good set of Thai "street smarts".

Soundman.

[OxfordWill]

And that's why we need women and men.

[favre360]

Can I ask why you didn't try to help her first instead of punching her husband/boyfriend/brother/whatever in the face? I mean, my first reaction would have been to rush to help the fallen woman, who clearly needed help.

Absolutely agree with sbk.

If you were so upset at the attack on the woman your obvious initial reaction should have been to help her - not attack the man.

Pseudo macho (alcohol fueled?) actions like yours will inevitably result in exactly what happened to you.

Patrick

I've seen people do that in the states and guess what, the guy who hit his wife is usually psycho and then attacks the people who try and help the woman. This isn't even about what I did, its the fact that these people standing by did absolutely nothing.

[twschw]

I would say that you were very lucky to have walked away. But don't get to relaxed it may not be over yet.

[jdinasia]

Can I ask why you didn't try to help her first instead of punching her husband/boyfriend/brother/whatever in the face? I mean, my first reaction would have been to rush to help the fallen woman, who clearly needed help.

Absolutely agree with sbk.

If you were so upset at the attack on the woman your obvious initial reaction should have been to help her - not attack the man.

Pseudo macho (alcohol fueled?) actions like yours will inevitably result in exactly what happened to you.

Patrick

I've seen people do that in the states and guess what, the guy who hit his wife is usually psycho and then attacks the people who try and help the woman. This isn't even about what I did, its the fact that these people standing by did absolutely nothing.

This isn't the USA and you aint Rambo

[p_brownstone]

The first thing you learn in any martial arts class is to neutralize the threat.

Here we go again - another "martial arts" aficionado eager to prove his prowess in "single combat".

Patrick

[garro]

So i'm drinking at my buddy's apt...I charge at the guy head on (im 190cm) and slam him into his truck so hard that the passanger side window cracks on impact. Im two seconds away from giving this cowardly lowlife the beating that'll take him closer to death than hes ever been.

Sorry but you sound like the type of guy who goes around looking for trouble.

[favre360]

Fair enough guys. I know there are people reading this who are actually getting the point. If its over your head thats cool. When I was a kid my dad would hit my mom and anyone who got in the way. I know the type of coward who hits his wife ok and I know what I did was right. I hope the rest of you can find something in this article besides all the things you THINK I did wrong.

[taxexile]

I know what I did was right.

tell us exactly what you achieved by your actions.

Edited March 20, 2008 by taxexile

[micksterbs]

Fair enough guys. I know there are people reading this who are actually getting the point. If its over your head thats cool. When I was a kid my dad would hit my mom and anyone who got in the way. I know the type of coward who hits his wife ok and I know what I did was right. I hope the rest of you can find something in this article besides all the things you THINK I did wrong.

I think we would all agree that hitting a woman is despicable. But why did you feel compelled to tell us your height, for God's sake? Your cranial capacity was more useful to that woman at that moment, IMO.

[soundman]

I know what I did was right.

tell us exactly what you achieved by your actions.

apart from very nearly making the news like many ingnorant foreigners receiving "accidental beatings to death" that happen in Pattaya on a weekly basis

[Lost in LOS]

some of you guys are amazing and clueless. always the Rambo complaint. a guy tries to help and now he is the culprit

picture this....the psycho is standing over his convulsing girlfriend. now being the nice guy you bend over her while he is still standing there, all psyched up, what do you guys really think is going to happen. let me clue you in. the psycho with beat you over the head with whatever is handy and now you can no longer be of any help to the girl as you will be laying next to her and in a bad way. you must get rid of the threat before you can help anyone or there will eventually be a crown laying there

who wants to be in the situation but there it is. take away the threat and then help

flame away boys but use a bit of common sense first

[barky]

I would say that you were very lucky to have walked away. But don't get to relaxed it may not be over yet.

This is a hard one isn't it. It's all about ones value set. I kinda agree with almost everything said so far by everyone. It may not be over yet. If the asshol_e you hit knows you you could be forked. As for Thai street smarts from what I have seen it works something like this. If your a Thai and if it's not about you and it doesn't involve a westener, keep walking. If it's not about you and it involves a westener, and your a Thai male, put the boot into the westener along with your other 30 mates.

I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but if it has nothing to do with you and you are outnumbered just keep walking no matter what. Forget your ideals. This is Thailand and this is the Thai way. In future just say a quiet prayer for the girl.

[twschw]

What was done to that poor woman was a horible crime but you must remember that you are in a foreign country. You do not have the law to back you up. You assaulted a Thai and that is a very bad thing for a westerner to do here. It is a different world here than in America. You say it is fine if you go to jail. Have you seen a Thai prison? What did you accomplish besides putting yourself at risk? Did you liberate the victim from her tormentor? No. What you did was to make a Thai lose face in public and this can be very dangerous.

[BigSnake]

Dam

[favre360]

some of you guys are amazing and clueless. always the Rambo complaint. a guy tries to help and now he is the culprit

picture this....the psycho is standing over his convulsing girlfriend. now being the nice guy you bend over her while he is still standing there, all psyched up, what do you guys really think is going to happen. let me clue you in. the psycho with beat you over the head with whatever is handy and now you can no longer be of any help to the girl as you will be laying next to her and in a bad way. you must get rid of the threat before you can help anyone or there will eventually be a crown laying there

who wants to be in the situation but there it is. take away the threat and then help

flame away boys but use a bit of common sense first

Thanks, I have been trying to explain this. Even if I called the police they would have known what I was doing and smashed my phone anyway. As for the situation, I totally did not expect 4 random guys to jump in. I guess I have more to learn about thai culture but I will still never ever stand for smething like that.

[dave111223]

You should have roundhouse kicked the lot of them back to the stone age.

I hope sensei bitch slapped you for your failure!

[soundman]

flame away boys but use a bit of common sense first

Common sense and "street intelligence" would dictate not getting involved in a situation where one has no clue what is actually going down & where a simple fist fight can quickly deterioiate into a mob beating with knives and guns appearing faster than one's chit in a beer bar.

[ThaiWanderer68]

I'd agree with sbk's reply to a large degree.

But cut the guy a little slack at least he was prepared to get involved and do something. Bear in mind it was probably heat of the moment too. It might be OK for sbk or another woman to immediately attend to the woman. I think if a guy tried to do that, though, there's a very strong chance he would be attacked while doing so. Hence clearing the immediate danger out of the way first mightn't have been such a bad idea.

Shame that people have chosen so far to criticise and focus on the OPs actions. The bigger issues really are the way the guy beat up his wife. Nobody did anything. But when someone does get involved, suddenly 4 people do feel the urge to get involved.

For me you've got to question more:

1) The Thai guy's actions in beating up his wife

2) 4 people standing by and doing nothing while a woman gets assualted.

3) Yet they will get involved when someone else tries to intervene.

4) Sort of implies it's OK for a husband to beat up his wife in Thailand. Actually this also seems to extend to anyone of higher status beating up someone lower

5) Reaction and comment that you don't get involved in something that is wrong, unless it's your own family.

BTW OP, Going back later looking for a fight though is just plain stupid. Finding yourself in the middle of a situation is one thing. Going looking for a situation is completely different. Unfortunately your own stupid behaviour has sort of undermined what otherwise would have been more interesting points/issues for discussion.

For me the 5 points above are the ones more worthy of discussion...

[micksterbs]

I'm tempted to say that you should have used your 'phone first, and not become involved at all. But having said that, the BiB would have taken their sweet time to arrive, would have taken one look and thought to themselves "domestic, not really our problem", the guy would have given them a big wai, 200 or 300 Baht and that would be that. Jeez, sounds bad, doesn't it? You got off lightly.

[micksterbs]

I'd agree with sbk's reply to a large degree.

But cut the guy a little slack at least he was prepared to get involved and do something. Bear in mind it was probably heat of the moment too. It might be OK for sbk or another woman to immediately attend to the woman. I think if a guy tried to do that, though, there's a very strong chance he would be attacked while doing so. Hence clearing the immediate danger out of the way first mightn't have been such a bad idea.

Shame that people have chosen so far to criticise and focus on the OPs actions. The bigger issues really are the way the guy beat up his wife. Nobody did anything. But when someone does get involved, suddenly 4 people do feel the urge to get involved.

For me you've got to question more:

1) The Thai guy's actions in beating up his wife

2) 4 people standing by and doing nothing while a woman gets assualted.

3) Yet they will get involved when someone else tries to intervene.

4) Sort of implies it's OK for a husband to beat up his wife in Thailand. Actually this also seems to extend to anyone of higher status beating up someone lower

5) Reaction and comment that you don't get involved in something that is wrong, unless it's your own family.

BTW OP, Going back later looking for a fight though is just plain stupid. Finding yourself in the middle of a situation is one thing. Going looking for a situation is completely different. Unfortunately your own stupid behaviour has sort of undermined what otherwise would have been more interesting points/issues for discussion.

For me the 5 points above are the ones more worthy of discussion...

Agreed. But we know this already, don't we? Depressingly.

[ArtfulD]

I think a lot of the replys here are a sad reflection of todays society...dont get involved, nothing to do with you....one reason police these days tell victims to scream "Fire" or something rather than "Help Me" if their alone being attacked...because people wont come to look help you otherwise...

And yes the whole "Culture" thing is a BS argument....female genital mutilation is some peoples culture, slavery is some peoples culture, beheadings, stoning etc etc...all someones culture, does that mean we have to just accept it?? Cultures change over time, mostly for the better...the more people help promote such change the quicker it will arrive...never just accept "culture" as an argument over human decency..

[twschw]

3) Yet they will get involved when someone else tries to intervene.

Needs to be changed to:

3) Yet they will get involved when a westerner tries to intervene.

[Prakanong]

"I totally did not expect 4 random guys to jump in."

I understand your actions but the above statement points to what a lot of people have been saying here about Thailand

What if it had been 10 or more and not 4 - you might not have been writing this and we may have been reading about this elsewhere!

I presume they saw what the Thai guy did to his girl but did nothing but the chance to beat a foreigner can not be passed by - its so much fun and it is their culture to do this in so many cases and places unfortunately.