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Finding The Right Present For Gay Thai Guy

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" ... A thank you can be simple and it doesn't have to spoken--a wai, putting it on, an expression of how good it will look, or something ... "

Actually I'm a bit surprised at this response. I know what Scott means about "thank yous" not coming at you verbally, but I would expect that a small wai would be a pretty common, almost kneejerk response to a gift. I get one every time when handing over something designated 'gift' (as opposed ~ as Scott says ~ to a dinner, or a night out, or a taxi ride ... everyday occurences those). Not speaking from no experience here . . . after 8 years together with the same Thai guy I've certainly had enough experience with 'gifts' :o

As far as the original question is concerned, one gift always appreciated is a few thousand baht specifically for him to give his parents. If you state what it's for most Thai guys will take great pains to see that it gets there.

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If wais count as acknowledgment and gratitude, that probably covers it. My students wai if you give them one chocolate candy.

As a visitor to Thailand, not a resident, I have always assumed that one of the uses of the wai was to say 'thank you'. I certainly find a broad smile and a wai an adequate replacement for the verbalisation that is customary with westerners. The politeness of not opening a present in the presence of the giver avoids the sometimes clumsy effusiveness we are often forced into or feel is appropriate in the West; and it's obvious Thais don't feel they have to mention the gift the next time you meet them. However, I have found that the thanks is often expressed in action. A motorcycle helmet I paid for as a gift to a friend's bf was worn with pride and a smile when I arrived in Thailand; one of the shirts I brought him from the UK was worn the first night we went out to dinner together; a cash farewell gift, handed to him in an envelope, was acknowleged, as I left the condo building, with an appearance on the balcony, a ravishing smile, and his totally personal way of waving goodbye. (Just to prove how much the gift was appreciated, my friend told me his bf waited a tense but seemly half-hour before rushing to Tukcom to turn it into the mobile phone that everyone had to have that week.) Personally, I consider myself fully thanked with a smile, a wai, and behaviour that expresses, without words, that the gift has been received gratefully and is being enjoyed.

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