From The Monkey's Point Of View

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,

Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to the others, Now listen, you two,

There's a certain rumor that can't be true;

That humans descended from our noble race,

The very idea is a shocking disgrace.

Never did a monkey desert his wife,

Starve her babies and ruin her life.

And you've never known a mother monk,

To leave her babies with others to bunk,

Or pass them on from one to another,

Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

And another thing you'll never see;

A monkey build a fence 'round a coconut tree,

And let the coconuts all go to waste,

Forbidding any other monkeys to taste.

Why, if I put a fence around the tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here's another thing a monkey won't do:

Go out at night and drink too much brew,

Yelling whoopee, disgracing his life,

Then run madly home, and beat up his wife.

They call this pleasure and make a big fuss;

They've descended from something,

But not from us!