The Benefits Of Mixed Marriages

[george]

THAI SOCIETY

The benefits of mixed marriages

Thai women find security and comfort while farang men discover the joy that living with a large family can bring

BANGKOK: -- The Cambodian Government recently suspended marriages between local women and foreigners after hearing from the International Organisation for Migration about the plight of women who migrate to their spouses' countries. But in Thailand, a migration of foreign or "farang" husbands to live in their Thai wives' rural villages in the northeastern provinces (Isaan region) has revealed other sides of cross-cultural marriages.

Most foreign husbands today know well that they are not married only to a Thai wife but also to her large family, senior anthropologist Suriya Smutkupt said. Suriya had talked to farang sons-in-law in Isaan province.

"I would like to hear the views of farang husbands as many studies already reflect Thai wives' perspectives of marrying foreigners," he said.

From 2005 to 2007, Suriya travelled intensively from his hometown in Chiang Mai province in the north to talk to farang husbands in villages in the northeastern provinces of Khon Kaen, Nakhon Rachasima (also known as Khorat) and Udon Thani.

"They told me their wives' large families gave them warmth that they could never find in their own countries," Suriya said.

Also, foreign sons-in-law of Isaan find all the conveniences of their home countries here and can stay connected to their friends and relatives via the Internet, he said.

Suriya spoke to 34 men from Austria, Belgium, England, France, Germany, Switzer-land, Sweden, the Netherlands and the United States.

The farangs were seasoned travellers to Asian countries. Most had previous marriages with farang women, Suriya said.

Their Isaan wives are of rural, low-income and low-education families and many couples met in tourist destinations such as Pattaya, he said.

Some husbands said they did not want to marry virgins or young women. They said they understood that Thai women become sex workers because their families are poor.

A farang husband asked his Thai wife to forget the past and begin a new life with him. However, some confessed that their perspective on Thai wives and their ex-wives was different, Suriya said.

"It's interesting that these farang husbands encouraged their wives to speak English in order to be a bridge between other women in their communities and their husbands' friends and relatives," he said.

David is from England and now lives in Chiang Mai province, which is his Thai wife's home.

"I am a 'farang' who married a honest, respectable village woman from a poor family. She has survived the hardships of being rejected by a Thai man, left to bring up a young daughter alone, and being seen as someone to be avoided in case she wants to borrow money," he said.

"We help local women in similar circumstances have a chance at a better life by finding them a good farang man," he said.

Last year, David and his wife offered translation and English classes to help women in their community communicate with foreign men.

The family has also started a website to introduce them to westerners looking for the kind of family life that respectable Thai ladies are renowned for.

--The Nation 2008-04-22

[Zpete]

Nice to read that.

Gives a more informed perspective of the situation a farang fella may find.

Thanks George.

[billd766]

It works for me except that my wife came from Bang Na in Bangkok and we live in Central Thailand near the Mae Wong National park.

Most of her family still live in Bang Na and visit on holidays but her Mum lives with us in the small house.

I am more than happy with my life now with my Thai wife of 8 years and our 3 1/2 year old son and, yes I was married to a farang wife before.

[jkinbkk]

Nice thread George.

My experience too. After reading so much negative press regarding Thai/Farang relationships it's nice to see a 'feelgood' thread.

I believe that a vast percentage of Thai/Farang relationships work and are long-term. If respect and adaptability are the foundations of the relationship right from the start then its gonna work.

Hats off to all the Thai Ladies and Farang guys who navigated through the difficult initial stages of the relationship (regarding respecting and acceptance of each others culture) to forge a happy and content life together.

shoke dee maak maak nah krap

[Flatouthruthefog]

Nice to read that.

Gives a more informed perspective of the situation a farang fella may find.

Thanks George.

Find myself agreeing with you yet again, ZP.

I'd only add that in the 20 years I've known Thailand - and thus Thai/farang marriages - the ones where the couples are based here in Thailand, rather than western nations, stand a FAR higher chance of success.

Cheers

Flato

[zaza]

Most of the bloody verbal quarrels occurs when both persons speaks the same language and understand the depth of the offending words they are stupidly uttering while beingg angry.

Thus; that's the reason why those mixed marriages(Thai/Falang) have a better chance in lasting longer than the marriages between couples who speaks the same language fluently or even the ones with a Thai partner who speaks English fluently (example: she will understand the falang's cursing,swearing and bad words that he might use sometimes , here problems will happen and those (English-perfect-speaking) women will be tagged as (westernized women and not pretty-tamed Thai women anymore) as I have noticed here in the forum.

Whereas the few couple who managed to share a conversations as (I love you, am hungry , go bed , need something......)in English and (swadee kub, mai pai rai, swai mak mak.,........) in Thai , those lines certainly would not cause any misunderstanding problem or bring up any kind of argument between the farang/Thai couples.

As a Falang man who is married to Thai woman once said : I can't understand her if she is nagging neither if she mumbles angry words sometimes ; so how can I be angry or feel offended!

Thai/Falang sow sow

Sow Sow

Sow Sow

[pampal]

Most of the bloody verbal quarrels occurs when both persons speaks the same language and understand the depth of the offending words they are stupidly uttering while beingg angry.

Thus; that's the reason why those mixed marriages(Thai/Falang) have a better chance in lasting longer than the marriages between couples who speaks the same language fluently or even the ones with a Thai partner who speaks English fluently (example: she will understand the falang's cursing,swearing and bad words that he might use sometimes , here problems will happen and those (English-perfect-speaking) women will be tagged as (westernized women and not pretty-tamed Thai women anymore) as I have noticed here in the forum.

Whereas the few couple who managed to share a conversations as (I love you, am hungry , go bed , need something......)in English and (swadee kub, mai pai rai, swai mak mak.,........) in Thai , those lines certainly would not cause any misunderstanding problem or bring up any kind of argument between the farang/Thai couples.

As a Falang man who is married to Thai woman once said : I can't understand her if she is nagging neither if she mumbles angry words sometimes ; so how can I be angry or feel offended!

Thai/Falang sow sow

Sow Sow

Sow Sow

Works for me